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Flowery Pit
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#1
Old 10-19-2009, 09:15 AM

I don't mean that as a good thing..

But, literally I am. I'm still hung up..on the same guy. I can't get over it, he keeps saying it won't work and it literally kills me. Last month he wanted it all and now he's denying everything. I keep telling him I'm willing to wait because I don't care but he keeps pushing me away.

It's like I know, I should move on, online relationships are hard. You need support from your family and I don't have any of that. It's just me. If he doesn't want to try, he's not worth it, right?

But for some reason I can't let him go. I'm still clung to all those good days, he's like the best person to me. I know that's stupid to say, I barely started life, but that's how I feel.

I don't know how I can leave someone who knows everything about me, knows every detail about me. He's been with me through my father's death, he's helped me through the hard times. He's always been there. He was my comfort when I had none, he was someone to go to, he would always brighten up my day..

I love him so much..

We've known eachother for 6 years. Dated 1 and a half years. The one who always said I love you every time we parted. Stayed up very late. All that good stuff. We did everything together except for the physical part.

It was all so real, there was nothing fake, but seeing something crumble, seeing someone not wanting to try, to give up and succumb to others opinions, is heart breaking. Why did it end up like this?

And I know this is hard, especially the money, to ever see eachother, support from parents. That's reality. I know. And the time. Everyone is so busy. Plus I live in California and he's in Oklahoma.. That's not close at all.

Love conquers all doesn't cut it here apparently. I just want it to work, but a relationship takes two than one. I just keep fighting it.

I'm just so depressed and I feel so f**king pathetic, crying over someone I never saw face to face. But I love him and I don't want this to end. But I know this is the end.

I just don't want to accept that.

This is more stupid to say but I honestly believe I won't find anyone. Stupid, I know. He seems like the one but I know that's not true. I know that there's others there. I don't want to end up alone and I feel like that'll happen. Regardless I know that's something stupid to say, but I feel it..

I have my senses, I know the chances are hard. But it's like I'm willing to do it. Then I'm faced with the "How" factor. Plane tickets are expensive and Train, there's no train that runs to his state straight through. I'm not driving either, end up getting lost in New Mexico.

It just hurts a lot, like a whole lot. I just envy a lot of people with boyfriends and I feel left out. I'm not trying to say it's like a fad..I just want to be loved and I felt like I just lost. And that's the end. I'm like a hopeless romantic.

I see other people who make it in online relationships, so I don't find them nearly impossible, but it looks like I've struck a wall. And he won't budge at all to climb it.

You know how people say letting it out is good, well I don't feel good at all. Crying isn't helping and drawing isn't doing anything.

I haven't given up yet but I'm struggling.

Now you know how pathetic I am. Yay.

Codette
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#2
Old 10-19-2009, 02:21 PM

Your not pathetic for not giving up. It's human nature to want to cling onto what makes us happy. After one of my ex's broke up with me, I couldn't stop crying. I loved him. Almost a year later, he ask's me out again, and then breaks up with me 3 months later.

A couple weeks ago I found out I was just a rebound girl, after his ex dumped him.
That hurt.

Thankfully I've found someone that actually gives a damn about me.

Online relationships aren't impossible. They can work, when both people try. Maybe you need to shock this guys system, and explain how hard this is for you. That your trying to keep this relationship alive while he does nothing. Find out what he wants.

AcidDrop
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#3
Old 10-19-2009, 10:47 PM

your not pathetic or stupid for this.. you'll find that as you get older you'll have alot of these sort of "relationships".. its all apart of life sadly.. its perfectly normal to think that he's the only one for you but the truth is theres always someone better and everything happens for a reason.. i no its hard but you do need to try and let him go...

kaihkc
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#4
Old 10-20-2009, 03:36 AM

hes not worth it thats what us girls have a problem with we hold on hes not the right one so you have to get over it.

Cursed
Silly like Jilly on pilly
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#5
Old 10-20-2009, 06:18 AM

You should be talking to him about this, not us. If you love him and you trust him, you should be able to tell him anything.

Arousal
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#6
Old 10-20-2009, 01:54 PM

Perhaps he thinks this isn't going to work out because the two of you never see eachother, I can see how that can be very frustrating..
Ask him?

KH4Life
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#7
Old 10-20-2009, 06:09 PM

I know the feeling.This one guy actually was a douche bag to me but either way he treated me i still clung to him and he knew he pretty much owned me.

Do one thing for me...give him up. He knows he has some sort of power over you when you grovel and plead but if you just let by gones be bygones he may even come crawling back to you!

peppermintnightmare
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#8
Old 10-22-2009, 12:51 AM

The only thing you can really do is take it at your own pace. It's hard but it's the only thing that works. Only time will help you get over this guy.

aino10shi
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#9
Old 10-22-2009, 04:00 AM

I can relate to you.

I too am in an online, long-distant relationship.
It hurts to me when I wanted so much to make our relationship real and prove that our relationship can work and it's real like all other relationships.

I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for over 6 years. He one time told me that we should go on a break (let it be known that he was doing this to test me, hurtful isn't it?). I was heartbroken. He knew me more than anyone did. He makes me smile just by being online or picking up the phone. My heart throbs all the time when I wait for him on the computer. I didn't wanted all those effort and work I did for him to just disappear. I too thought I was pitiful and pathetic. He sometimes treat me badly by promising to be online and not coming online with me waiting all day and night.

To be honest, my heart just wouldn't let me let it go. I feel stupid and gullible but I feel so attached to him. It was like my happiness were in his hands and losing him means I will never feel that warmth again.

I'm sorry to hear that he doesn't feel the same way for you (so dramatically). Maybe it would have been nice that he was testing you like my boyfriend did (so mean!) I know how you feel. I tried pushing myself and keep trying to tell him to remember how it was when we fell in love. But that only annoys him (I think.. since I found out he was testing me, he might have been flattered...). I soon accepted it. Still cried. But told myself, at least he'll find happiness and I won't be part of the problem rather the solution.

I still feel that way. Even though he's with me, no matter what, I put his happiness before mine. Maybe you two will get back together or not. But sooner or later you'll lose what's most important, happiness that at least you met each other. If he does love you and returns to you, then he's yours. If not, you'll have to let him go and know that you helped him find happiness whether you're part of it or not. At least you can still be with him as friends.

I don't want to say there are plenty fishes in the sea, because I would hate that phrase if used on me since I felt like he was my entire world (more than the sea). But for you, I hope you luck and that can set his happiness before yours. Hopefully, you'll love again and you'll always love him.

Inwe
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#10
Old 10-26-2009, 03:39 AM

I too am in a long distance relationship. Don't fall for the whole "Oh you live far away so we'll never see each other" deal. My bf lives in a different COUNTRY. And I will be meeting him for real in less than a month. Good things can happen if you try hard enough! Try talking to a travel agent to get the best deals! Maybe if you two meet then he will change his mind! Either he could come there or you could go there and maybe split the money for the trip? But if he refuses to meet you or even TRY, then he is definitely not worth it. :P Kick him to the curb.

 


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