Confection: Trust me -- put it off as long as possible! You'll be grateful! *LOL* Prolly by the time you're ready for that, there will be some new trend, etc. Some couples have a Honeymoon registry, which you can give them money so they can go on a honeymoon. Seems just as tacky. *laughs*

Aww, Talitha, sorry to hear that. But you know, what matters is that you love each other, not that you had a fancy wedding, or anything right?

Mine was nice, but not extravagant -- I was VERY lucky to find an awesome place that did everything (food, drinks (non-alcoholic), decor, linens, busboys) all for one really, really good price! People thought we spent more than we did. Hehehe.... what they don't know! ^_^

OH, Confection, one word of advice, though .... NEVER, ever skimp on your photographer. Get the best your money can buy. Flowers may die, food will get eaten, even your dress may end up stashed in a closet ... but you will Always, always have the good photos.

Everyone I spoke to who didn't have good photos, say that is the one thing they regret.

lol sometimes I wonder if he was worth it with all the fighting we do

Talitha: Uh-oh! Oops. Hehehe.... How long have you been married?

going on three years and we dated two years before we got married.

We love each other but we had a few major issues and he gets upset easily

Wow, you got married pretty young then, huh?

I can understand differences being causes for disruptions.

Have you ever heard of The Love Languages book? It's really short, but it has a very interesting take on how people show love differently, and how we have to not only understand our love language, but the other person's as well.

My primary love language is Acts of Service. My husband's is Words of Affirmation.

That, and many other things, really help our marriage. The nice thing is, is that he's really my best friend. We know each other better than anyone else, and we really "get" each other.

And, between the two of us, I am the one with the shorter temper -- although he HAS taught me a lot about patience. *LOL*

right now we are in the middle of men are from mars women are from venus. I dont think he cares much.

I go married at 19 lol

I never read that one ... but it's kinda obvious, in ways. I mean, men and women ARE different.

Try the Love Languages -- at least first for you. It may help.

Sorry that his temper is short. He needs to work on that, but I guess you already know that.

Anywho, I need to get going ... hubby's on his way home from work to pick me up to go out to dinner.

Laters!

lol we are going out tommarrow see ya reeny

I don't mean to sound like such a pessimist, but...
I don't want to get married. D':

It may just be because I'm young, and maybe I'll change my mind when I'm older, but I really don't want to set myself up for that kind of disappointment.
Within my family, all I've seen are very unhealthy marriages. How could you want to stay with someone that's been cheating on you? Even if you do your best to make the right decisions in a marriage, how can you be sure your spouse is making them?
It comes down to trust, and I really don't want to put my happiness and the happiness of my children into another person's hands.
Maybe being so in love that you trust someone that much is apart of what love is all about, but I can't see myself ever being that trusting.

But, maybe someone will come along when I'm older and make me believe that marriage isn't dead, and that trusting someone can be a good thing.*sigh*
Believe it or not, I can be quit the romantic. Its just easier to believe in love when you read or daydream about it. :')

Hey Confection! ^_^

I don't think you're being a pessimist, but a realist -- and you're being cautious. And you're deciding what you would ultimately like to have (or not have).

However, don't be fooled by movie (and sometimes book) love. I am NOT saying that you cannot find this person with whom you have an ultimate connection with, because you can. However, the movies usually only get us to one point -- where they hook up (whether it be just getting together, or getting married).

What happens later, in the movie? What happens when the kids come? What happens when jobs are lost? What happens when tragedy strikes? What happens when you have financial difficulties? What happens when one person's dreams are getting in the way the other's?

Yes, there are a few movies out there that do show us couples that are married, and dealing with family life (for me, Cheaper by the Dozen comes to mind). But not too many, and they're usually handled as comedies, because all that stuff isn't "romantic."

And, it IS possibly to be successful even if your family isn't. For example: my parents have been married for over 40 years. But my husband's parents have been divorced, and both re-married for many years (could have to do with the fact that she got pregnant while she was a senior in high school and they got married after he was born, but ....)

My husband decided in his life that he didn't want that.

We made a strong commitment. We have made a pact in our hearts (and with God) to grow together, and not apart. We have incredible communication -- we talk about everything (yes, even about my period). We talk so that we can see each other's points of views regarding things. Whether it's as small as how we like to decorate (not that he cares much, although he can tell me if he doesn't like something, which is rare, since I have great taste ^_^), to as big as how we'd like to discipline our children when they come along.

It doesn't matter how mundane something seems to talk about it, because if you can talk easily about the small stuff, then it's easy to talk about the hard or tough things.

Also, if you ever get into the situation with someone seriously, I highly recommend dating for a long time before you get married. How long depends on you, but I would say long enough for you to really understand and know the other person. (Oh, and don't live together beforehand, if you can help it. Studies DO show that people who live together before they get married have a higher risk of divorcing later.) They should treat you the same whether it be in private, or in public.

Goodness, I have tons and tons to say on this subject, but I think it ultimately comes down to this: If each of you is willing to make the other person happy, by sacrificing, then you can have a good marriage. Because if you're constantly wanting to make the other person happy, then there's not room for doubt and straying, or selfish wants.

Hi, Reeny!
Oh, and I didn't say this before. HAPPY HALLOWEEN. :'D
I love Halloween. <3 I wore my costume to school yesterday!

Anyways, I do see what you're saying. I guess I've always been scared of being disappointed. I grew up without a father and I think that has majorly influenced the way I think about marriage. My mother got married to my stepfather when I was very young, and a couple years later they got divorced. Since then it has always just been me and my mother and I think that is more than good enough for me (even when others do not think it is). Many people have attacked the single parent household, and I think that is were my bias of the 'nuclear family' has come from.

im married and im 21 and i love it.

Hai guys!!!!!!!!

Do you have to post in the event forum to get the little bone things...?

Originally Posted by Confection

Do you have to post in the event forum to get the little bone things...?

You can also go to the crypt.

I understand why you feel the way you do, Confection. There are ALL kinds of families, and people learn to function the best way they can.

I've heard that the best gift a man can give his children is to love their mother. I think because, in turn, it perpetuates love within the household, to others and through their own families.

That being said, never say never to anything! *laughs* I've learned that lesson. Just be aware of things, as they happen. Truth be told, I never thought I wanted children, and still, some days, they make me cringe. However, my husband does, ONE day, and so he slowly has been working me. Never pressures. He tells me he will wait until I'm ready.

And, I do think about it more and more. It's still scary, but ... perhaps it's something I can do. But, I want to want it, you know. Too many people have children without thinking of the consequences.

And remember, do not confuse LUST with LOVE. Love is slow and warm and will sustain you hopefully throughout your relationship. Lust is firey and will burn out quickly. Not that you shouldn't be attracted to whomever, because you should, but there is more than physicalness to any attraction. When you're both old and gray, it doesn't matter if you had a hot bod when you were 20. But it will matter if he can still make you laugh. ^_^

But, just be aware ... so that you're not caught unawares. ^_^

Originally Posted by Reeny

You can also go to the crypt.

Thanks.

And thank you for all the advise.
I think, in some ways, being weary is just the way I'm preparing myself for the (FAR.) future. I don't doubt I'll fall in love someday, but I also believe I'm not bone-headed enough to make giant mistakes that will effect my future negatively.

Wow, I'm almost 18...
I still remember the first day I started Elementary School.

Originally Posted by Confection

Wow, I'm almost 18...
I still remember the first day I started Elementary School.

*LOL* And I'm almost 34 ... and remember starting college when I was 18.

But, age is just a number, right?!

Besides, my husband is 6 years younger than me ... keeps me young! (Although, people usually think HE's the older one in the marriage. Hehehehe.....)

Oh, and to everyone:

Happy Halloween!!!

Really? You seem so fun loving and young!
Not that you aren't still young! D':
I mean like an in your mid-twenties kind of young.
But a mature for your age kind of mid-twenties.


That's so cute! Did you take that picture or did you find it laying round in the black hole that is the internet? xD

Aww, thank you! I'd like to think I'm a child at heart and have a zest for life! ^_^ And no worries, most people think I look at least 5-8 (sometimes 10) years younger than I am. Yay for good genes! ^_^

And thank you, about the photo. I actually decorated the pumpkin and took the photo myself (and added the fun swirly photo). This one's all mine, baby! ^_^

People think I look like I'm in my Twenties. that just makes me worried about what I'll look like in my thirties, but kids are starting to look so much older these days.

I didn't get the chance to carve a pumpkin this year like I always do. Halloween just sneaked up on me this year. (Spell check said 'snuck' wasn't a word! So I used sneaked...what a life changing dilemma.)

Oh, and Talitha, I was trying to do that whole "Flower language" thing that they did in the Victorian Era. Apple-Blossom means "Preference". I don't know if that was how they used that word sometimes in that Era, but I thought I would give it a try. (Even though the flowers language was meant to be used in Bouquets and stuff.) xD;

Don't worry Confection. When I was in my late teens people thought I was in my 20s, but ... I just kinda stayed the same.

Actually, except for subtle variations, I really haven't changed much since I was younger -- at least my facial features. ^_^

Oh, and "snuck" is a word. Don't let it fool you! ^_-

Is that so? Well, Spell Check does underline my last name every time I type it out.
Maybe Spell Check is suggesting I don't exist? D:<

Naw ... it just can't know every variation of every word. I always use M-W.com to check anything I'm unsure of. Takes 2 seconds. It's my friend. But then ... I AM a proofreader by profession, so words and grammar are my game! ^_^

Let me guess, are you an English teacher?
An editor?

I once considered being an English teacher, but then I realized my spelling was horrible. Spell Check is my best friend, but its an abusive relationship. xD;

*laughs* I just said, I was a Proofreader. Also sometimes Copy Editor. NOT an English teacher. *shudder* No teaching for me!

Oh, spell check is that way with everyone. Thing is, most people don't realize it and are very co-dependent on it. Tsk, tsk. Know when to use it, but also don't rely on it like a crutch.

I once used to think that people who couldn't spell correctly were dumb! But, I realized later it's much more a detail thing. I'm detail oriented ... and ... remember things like how to spell a word correctly, and when to use certain words, like "affect" vs "effect" or "complement" vs "compliment."

Sighs. Some people don't even know there IS a difference! *laughs*

Anywho, I need to get going! Gotta get ready for a Halloween party! Going as a vampire (simple in black, with a burgundy cloak and some rockin' fangs) ... but I can't figure out what to do with my hair! Blech!

OH! I thought that you meant proofreading was part of your profession. xD;

I think that spelling is more of a left side of the brain kind of thing, along with logic and whatnot, but I tend to use more of my right brain area. I'm also bad at math, but it doesn't make me unintelligent.
I know the difference in meaning when it comes to words like 'complement' and 'compliment', I just don't know which one is which! D':

Bye-bye! Have fun at your party! <3