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turkdragon13
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#1
Old 11-06-2009, 04:58 AM

If I say sorry, It will be just words.
I know what I did emotionally hurt.
You and me both know, I will never learn,
But you don’t know, Everyday I’m burned.
Scarred of my childhood, And what is left behind,
When I try to look back, I’m blind.
Never lived a day, No memories to burn away,
Never lived a day, So I’m what remains.
Remains I’ve never had before,
All the memories I would have loved to adore.
Never lived a day of my childhood,
Now here I am in 9th grade, Eating my food,
Acting like a child, Just to live my childhood…

Please do not plagiarize... I worked and still am working hard to get my own book published...

you can read this poem at this website...
http://authspot.com/poetry/yesterday-18/


feedback?

deweyduquesne
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#2
Old 11-06-2009, 05:45 AM

hey bud, good work!! keep writing. but i has a recomendation. In line 5, I think it would be easier to understand if u were to put "scarred FROM my childhood instead of OF", i think it would help the reader to understand what u mean or what u're inferring. But other than that, well done sir.

Sizzla
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#3
Old 11-06-2009, 03:29 PM

This is a poem in my eyes, so I'm going to move this thread to the poetry forum. You can continue to post your poetry in this thread from now on. :D

 



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