I did not wait till I was married. I did wait for the guy I was going to marry at the time and I was 19. Married now, so yes :)

Never Have!!
Hopefully Never Will!
I Don't Know I've Never Really Wanted Kids And Really Don't Want Them(yeah i'm heartless so what!?)
And I Just Don't Want To Do It....
And In My Opinion I Believe That All Boys Have Cooties XD

I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend who waited to date me due to age differences and in order to gain trust between on another, I've known him for longer than two years but he was taken then and very unhappy, and I was very young (though I still am) and experimenting.
I do not regret who I lost my virginity to and how I went about it, in fact, it went perfect and I can't imagine it going as well if it was with anyone else.
I trust my boyfriend, and I strongly believe we are soul mates, and I plan on staying with him a long time, if not forever.

I'm twenty three and I started having sex when I was twenty one. I've only had sex with my boyfriend, and we've been together for over eight years now, (a little over seven at the time we finally had sex) so I figured it was about time, you know? I didn't wait until being married because who knows when that will happen. That could be a long wait with our current situations. I know he's the person I want to spend my life with, so I could care less about the legal status of our relationship. The emotional status is what matters to me. It actually took me a few years to realize that, and I'm glad I made the decision not to wait.

I first had sex five months ago. I didn't expect the day to end in such with such an occasion, but i don't regret it.
As for abstinence, if that's what you believe in, then good, stick with it, but personally i don't think it would be for me. I think as long as you don't jump into bed at every first opertunity, with any guy/girl who's up for it, that's good enough management for me.

owo I haven't even had my first boyfriend, so I hope my virginity is still in tact...

Personally, I have no particular desire to have sex. I've never really liked the idea of it. But if it meant a lot to my spouse, I could probably be eased into it.

So yes, I'm a sex-after-marriage-if-at-all person. x);;

I'd feel a little dirty or a bit second-hand if my boyfriend or spouse had lost his virginity before coming to me... Because I would feel like someone else got something very special from him and I'll never be able to have that part of him. Yanno? D: *lame and jealous* v.v;

I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend/fiance` for a little over 2 and a half years and still have not had sex. he is 23, non-virgin, but is still afraid of sex. Personally i'm ready but hes not so I'll wait. Sex to me is a sort of marrige, a bonding of the soul, to each other. It requires a certin amount of trust and respect. i joke all the time about lesbian orgies and stuff with my friends but i do trust and respect them. At that point its physical no harm done!

I'm 23 and no I haven't. I'm waiting till I'm married.

I waited till marriage. And I was 27 when I got married! :O

EDIT: Yes, my husband waited, too.

.. No i am only 13 how am i suppose to have sex parents are in your face . no offense to parents out there but yeah

Good for your parents! They should be in your face at the age of 13. :D You may not like that, but it's what's good for you.

I wasn't waiting until marriage, but until I found the right person for me. ( I'm just shy of 20, btw. )

We've been together just under a year now, and I'm happy to say that I've been intimate with him on numerous occasions. :angel:

Edit: Aye! I agree with you, Sizzla. 13 year olds shouldn't be having sex to begin with!

Still a virgin at 20.

I think I may die a virgin, but that's better than just giving it away because some guy wants it, right?

I've had chances. I haven't taken them.

And for some reason the idea of me (let alone other people) having sex bothers me.

Go figure.

I'm waiting for marriage. there's a whole butt load of reasons why, one being because I think things would be better for me and my husband that way. I also think that God doesn't want me having sex until after marriage. So I'm waiting.
I also figure that having sex is like going on a road trip. I wouldn't go on a road trip with someone I wouldn't want to "bust a hubcap with," nor do I plan on having sex with anyone I'm not prepared to "bust a hupcap with." I'll be prepared when I'm married.

@Dystopia: I know what you mean about feeling "second-hand."

I've had sex before, and actually, I had sex before marriage! But the person I did it with was the person who eventually DID become my husband.

I am happy that we had sex before marriage, because we were able to iron out all the kinks in our sex lives before we got married.

For example, it took me about a year to get to orgasm from sex itself. It wasn't just a physical thing, but it took technique and a change in my thinking about myself as well.

Of course, there are dry spells in my relationship just like in many others, but that does not mean that you can't enjoy yourself by yourself (wink wink nudge nudge).

Well Im 16 but not a virgin. and as for the marriage thing, Im kinda thinkin that I should have waited.

I am saving myself for marriage. 8D This is both for God, and the fact that sex is so... underrated, or whatever, in society today. I want my first time to be special, where I know for CERTAIN that I'm their "one and only."

Originally Posted by Goblin Maiden

I am saving myself for marriage. 8D This is both for God, and the fact that sex is so... underrated, or whatever, in society today. I want my first time to be special, where I know for CERTAIN that I'm their "one and only."

You can, of course, also just have sex with only virgin males, which would make their first time special and always be their "one and only"....

I know it's a delicate subject, but the truth of the matter is that relationships can fail and as romantic as a virgin wedding night might be, it can also be dangerous because one of the leading causes of divorce are sex issues.

If you were getting married, would you wait to see what sort of spending habits your spouse had until AFTER you said "I do"?

Would you wait to figure out his religion until after marriage?

Would you make sure to keep his political affiliations a secret until you got that ring on your finger?

Would you make sure that you never found out if he wanted to have children or not until after you went on your honeymoon?

ETC.

The problem with "wait for sex until marriage" is that once you're married, you STILL have to deal with the complexity of sex and all that it entails. Unless you want to have five gazillion kids, you still have to use birth control, and you will still have to work out both of your sex drives and of course, there are plenty of pleasure aspects to the act itself that can cause quite a bit of strife.

And your partner may still eventually cheat on you, or your marriage may fail for whatever reason (especially if you have not asked or spoken to your partner about some of the above important things).

All I'm saying is that I barely remember the first time I had sex.

But on our wedding night, it was amazing, because we had been doing it for a long enough time that we had sorted out how both of us could get to orgasm and have as much sexual pleasure as possible.

That's not usually possible unless you've worked at it.

I don't think that there is anything necessarily WRONG with waiting until marriage, but I am of the opinion that if you DO wait until you get married, you should not build it up to be bigger than the simple choice that it is.

I also am of the opinion that if you want a mature relationship that lasts a lifetime, you also have to be a little less romantic and fanciful about it.

But that's just my opinion.

I have had sex, but I saved myself until I was eighteen.

I lost my viginity to my husband, who at the time I had been dating for 5 or so years, and we were engaged at the time.

I was his first, too. ^_^

If you were getting married, would you wait to see what sort of spending habits your spouse had until AFTER you said "I do"?

Would you wait to figure out his religion until after marriage?

Would you make sure to keep his political affiliations a secret until you got that ring on your finger?

Would you make sure that you never found out if he wanted to have children or not until after you went on your honeymoon?

The answer to all of these questions is:

Duh, I may be optimistic, but I am not naively stupid.

What is marriage for? It's not all about sex, it's about compatibility and openness with each other. And... I fail to see the reason for those questions in relation to the topic and what I said, anyway.

The problem with "wait for sex until marriage" is that once you're married, you STILL have to deal with the complexity of sex and all that it entails. Unless you want to have five gazillion kids, you still have to use birth control, and you will still have to work out both of your sex drives and of course, there are plenty of pleasure aspects to the act itself that can cause quite a bit of strife.

And your partner may still eventually cheat on you, or your marriage may fail for whatever reason (especially if you have not asked or spoken to your partner about some of the above important things).

I don't plan on using birth control--I'm planning on consulting with doctors and figuring out the female cycle, etc. And even then, I know that "mistakes" (if that's even the right word) can happen, so I'm counting on us both having self-control.

For me, "chastity" does not equal "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." We are DEFINITELY talking about this before we get married, even before we get engaged, if there is a potentiality of us bonding for life.

But on our wedding night, it was amazing, because we had been doing it for a long enough time that we had sorted out how both of us could get to orgasm and have as much sexual pleasure as possible.

That's not usually possible unless you've worked at it.

Then we'll work at it. After we've made things clear about how we're going to work the whole sex thing out in regards to our marriage, of course.

I don't think that there is anything necessarily WRONG with waiting until marriage...

Either you DO think there's something wrong with waiting, or that there's something wrong with my head. That's the impression I've got by now.

...but I am of the opinion that if you DO wait until you get married, you should not build it up to be bigger than the simple choice that it is.

The fact that I'm waiting means that it is not a "simple choice", to me. And the way you've been talking about "the complexity of sex" (see quote of yours above) indicates that you do not think it is one, either.

I also am of the opinion that if you want a mature relationship that lasts a lifetime, you also have to be a little less romantic and fanciful about it.

I'm getting Disney princess de ja vu, here. I am not the kind of girl who spots a hot hunk and leaps on him to tie the knot, all the while singing of love-at-first-sight surrounded by my cute forest animal friends. And... I know that marriage is not all roses and sunshine, but there DOES have to be love, not just sex.

I'm planning on waiting while longer for that. I doubt I'll wait until marriage (its not a rule either of my parents really enforce or have tried to imprint on me), but I'm waiting for a committed relationship. If the guy can stick around for awhile without needing something like that, and I care about him and I feel he feel the same, then I'd be willing to try. :3 But yeah, no rush.

I waited until I was 18. But I never had sex after that, its been 4 years now. I'm happy... Its like a born again virgin....:)

Originally Posted by Goblin Maiden

The answer to all of these questions is:

Duh, I may be optimistic, but I am not naively stupid.

Well, then I'll consider you horrendously uninformed, because you obviously know very little about sex and adult relationships.

What is marriage for? It's not all about sex, it's about compatibility and openness with each other.

I frequent forums where a lot of people have been in long relationships, and the majority of the time, the number ONE problem is the mismatched sex drive problem. He wants sex more than she does. She wants sex more than he does. Erection problems. Vaginal stimulation problems. A LOT about a marriage involves sex because THEY ARE YOUR ONLY SEX PARTNER.

I see a LOT of women being blissfully unaware that sex is important in the relationship only to find out that he's been cheating on her the whole time because she was under the impression that sex was only for babies.

I don't plan on using birth control--I'm planning on consulting with doctors and figuring out the female cycle, etc. And even then, I know that "mistakes" (if that's even the right word) can happen, so I'm counting on us both having self-control.

Do you know what the failure rate of "natural family planning" (ie: charting your cycle)? It's about the same as NOT USING ANY PROTECTION AND RANDOMLY HAVING SEX.

Here's a source from a medical site:

Fertility awareness is not the best method of birth control to prevent a pregnancy. The number of unplanned pregnancies is 25 out of 100 women who typically use fertility awareness. But this method can be very helpful to time when to have sex to become pregnant.

Source: http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and...eness#hw214035

Most people commonly use "fertility awareness" as a method of GETTING PREGNANT, not for birth control.

For me, "chastity" does not equal "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." We are DEFINITELY talking about this before we get married, even before we get engaged, if there is a potentiality of us bonding for life.

If you talk about how to fly a helicopter in theory, it still doesn't mean that you CAN do it, and even if you do manage to do a fair job of it, it is highly unlikely that you will do it masterfully.

Then we'll work at it. After we've made things clear about how we're going to work the whole sex thing out in regards to our marriage, of course.

I'm just saying, if you want your "first time" as a married couple to be magical, please don't expect it to be if it's your first time having sex.

My first time having sex with my then boyfriend, now husband took about 40 seconds before he got to orgasm from the sheer pleasure of never having had sex before. I didn't even get close to climax. And for about a year, I could not orgasm from sex directly. Most women cannot.

I'm not saying you go around and slut it up with a bunch of guys in the name of "experience". What I *am* saying is that if you want to gain experience on how your partner and you work together sexually, it will take a lot of practice.

And for goodness sake, please think of more responsible methods of birth control if you and your husband are not willing to have a quiverfull household.

Either you DO think there's something wrong with waiting, or that there's something wrong with my head. That's the impression I've got by now.

I think that there's something wrong with believing that waiting until marriage is superior than NOT waiting until marriage. I also have a problem with how people seem to think that getting married will solve all the problems that can STILL happen in marriage (ie: infidelity, STDs, pregnancy, etc). Heck, what are you going to say if you get divorced because you are both so sexually incompatible that it causes a huge rift in your relationship? (and if you don't believe it can happen, why not take a look at THIS forum:

http://boards.webmd.com/webx/topics/...ber-to-Member/

Or even here:

http://boards.webmd.com/webx/topics/...Support-Group/

The fact that I'm waiting means that it is not a "simple choice", to me. And the way you've been talking about "the complexity of sex" (see quote of yours above) indicates that you do not think it is one, either.

Sex is important and complicated. NOT having sex is not complicated. I guarantee that if you wait until marriage to have sex with the one you want to spend your life with, you will have signed a very important legal document tying yourself to someone who you have NO idea how they handle one of the most important and complicated parts of your relationship.

A true story:

My good friend got married to her boyfriend of a couple years and they waited until marriage to have sex. Turns out this guy had a porn addiction and after having sex a few times with her, he just used porn instead. He had no endurance during sex, would not even attempt to please her (although before marriage she told me how he was always going on about what he was going to do once they "did it"). Eventually, he just treated her like a maid and expected her to bring in all the money and do all the housework, while he spent all their money on porn and WoW and then went out with friends without her. She ended up getting so depressed she had to commit herself to the hospital for 24 hour suicide watch. She finally got a divorce from this guy, but it took her a long time of being abused and treated like crap before she was able to do anything.

She came from a very religious Catholic background and she now says that she was very lucky not to have gotten pregnant, because her ex is so horrible and irresponsible, that he's currently almost 50,000 dollars in credit card debt, about to lose the apartment they had got (she moved back to live with her parents).

So yeah. And this guy had apparently duped her all along, even though my friend is normally really smart and perceptive.

Perhaps your situation has nothing to do with my friend's situation but I never want anyone to ever go through what she did. She's still going to therapy about it and says she doesn't know if she can ever trust someone enough to marry them ever again.

A relationship may not be 100% about sex, but I hate how people treat sex like it's something that isn't really that important. It IS important, especially if you're going to commit to having sex with ONE person for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. It's only fair to be on the same page and know what to expect. Perhaps as a woman your drive is lower than your prospective husband's, but that doesn't mean you're going to be any less affected when he has to go for long periods of time without sex from YOU.

Remember, one of the number one reasons people cheat (although it's not excusable) is because one partner withholds sex so much and uses it as a weapon and the other person gets tired of it.

Make of it what you will, but I think that it is good advice to ANYONE to consider sex BEFORE you get married to your long-term partner because it can help you learn if you REALLY want to be legally tied to someone else. If the sex is consistantly horrible, you can always walk away if you're not married. But if you ARE, then you may have to consider children and divorce, and it gets A LOT more messy.

If you insist on waiting until marriage, at least make sure to get a prenuptial agreement so that things are decided ahead of time, just in case you ever DO divorce. With a divorce rate of over 50%, you are even more likely to divorce than to get pregnant.

I wish I would have saved myself, but some people don't have a choice... I was kind of thrown into the sex world, but I wish I could have gone back when I grew to know better and began saying no. Though I sort of thought I deserve what I got because thats one of my morals, if something bad happens, I must have done something to deserve it. Then I think bad to what I've done bad, when I was young I may not have deserved it, but it taught me a lesson, and I should put it into practice, but it became a habit.

Now I'm with someone I love, but it doesn't feel right when we have intercourse. I still wish I could go back to the first time we had sex and tell him its best to wait. I would have done something really nice before he moved away to make a bond between us, but everything went down hill and now here we are arguing with each other like a married couple. Though he sometimes throws sex in there like "we never do it any more, do you still love me?" I honestly don't believe sex is about love, but it means something to him, not that he loves me for sex. I just think it makes him feels close to me, its cute in a way, but it can become annoying when I just don't want to.

Oh, I didn't mention that we have a little boy, he comes between us a lot. Although we don't live together and he never comes to my house, because he says he doesn't like my parents and our house is small. He's one of those guys who does whatever they can to get what they want, and too bad for me I give him what he wants. (most of the time) It gets a little irritating when you love someone who lets you suffer, and doesn't see how easy it is to make it better.

MoonLight-

I'm sorry for your situation, but it is possible that it is not simply the fact that you are not a virgin that "doesn't feel right" if you know what I mean.

I have been married for 3 years and together for almost 8 years total with my husband, and after having our first child together, a lot of things have changed. After giving birth, I was pretty similar, but there was something that didn't feel "right" anymore. I started disliking sex, and trying to avoid it.

Now, it turns out I may actually have very minor postpartum depression.

Based on how old your child is, it is possible that you could also have the same thing, or other depression type problems that are affecting your intimacy with your current sex partner.

Please do a kindness to yourself and those around you and see if you can seek a preliminary counseling session to just assess your mental well-being. It can probably help you a lot more than you might think. *hugs*
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And, I hope that people don't think that by suggesting that people have sex before marriage that I am somehow suggesting that people be sluts or have lots of casual sex. I don't believe that casual sex is a very good idea (a very good friend of me got HPV because she went sleeping around after a long term relationship ended badly and now she has to get pap smears twice a year to make sure she hasn't got cervical cancer and since you can get HPV even if you use condoms, it's a tricky disease).

But I do think that having sex with a long term, potential marriage partner is an important thing to do before signing on the dotted line.

Marrying a spendthrift who is in horrible debt without taking a look at his finances is a HUGE no-no.

As far as I'm concerned, if sex is one of those non-negotiable items in a marriage, it is important to sort it out before saying "I do."