that one part is just confusing... but a lot was just cuz i don't know your characters.

okay, you should read the beginning of the novel. do you think my final battle is interesting?

yes... final battle as in final battle for the entire novel? why are you writing that now?

I'm that far in the story. that was what the second part of what I sent you was. it was the start of the final battle.

so you've written most of your novel???

*poke,poke* where'd you go?

yes, but its pretty rough and part in the middle really need to be elaborated on.

okay, now I get to talk about yours! I like it, but I feel like you were too harsh on new york and teenagers. you really emphasized the population issues. I didn't think the subways were that bad or the people so rude at all! it sounds out of place. But I do love Sara! she's an interesting char. just work on some diction that got confusing and a bit or rambling.
oh. I have some edits for you. I have to post them, sorry.
"flooded into the care" needs to be car
and there was one for "though" and the "rain" which is even underlined in green telling you its wrong.

lol the um way the people are acting and their rudeness and crap is partially through sara's perspective. i'm really trying to create a main character that when i don't give her a happy ending my readers won't kill me. so i'm giving her this really harsh outlook on life.
yeah some of those mistakes and stuff i caught when i went back and read over it...i seriously typed all that and sent it to you, no editing at all.
how do you like the prologue? not too short? and doesn't give away too much?
and what about nick?

it comes out sounding like she's a bit of a nice, naive, idiot though.
the prologue is really good, though I felt I liked the beginning more than the end of it. might have to reread that to be sure.
nick? I can't really say. there isn't much on him yet.

yeah i know... ugh i'm going to have problems with her... but i don't care she's not going to have a happy ending.... she's the one the story is about but she's not the true main character. my narrator is they get the happy ending....
ugh yeah i know. the end was my trying to make my prologue longer.
he's important. i'll tell you that much.

why try to give her a bad ending?!
don't force the prologue!
okay. he seemed pretty cool.

cuz. that's what this entire story is based on... she has to have a bad ending.
yes but the prologue can't be only 2 sentences.... which is how it started... i had to make it longer, especially once i decided to make the narrator important.
i like him as a character.

fine. *grumbles* you just wanted to make something you couldn't mess up!
its only the last bit that falls apart in the prologue
okay

i guess...but i am writing this based of a poem i wrote and to keep true to my poem the woman has to for all intesive purposes die.
i'll look at it again...

it doesn't say 'die' in there! you don't have to kill here!!

i said for all intensive purposes.... she won't die but then again the fate she has is probably worse that death.

oh, that makes me feel even better!!!

lol sorry

*sigh* I'd almost think you're demented the way you go about killing you characters!

hey it's not typically on purpose! and if i had ever finished my children of blood novel there would have been no way in hell i would have killed malkorin or saraphina.
i just kinda want dream wanderer to be a twist on your typical romance...

yeah yeah yeah. still. should we even try to count the chars. you've killed. the good ones?!
fine, I like that idea, I'm just curious what you are going to do. hurry up and write it already!!

lol... i know, i know... i'm bad about it.
i don't know everything yet... i know the beginning of the story i know the end, the end of sara's story.... but the middle is one big question mark!

oh goodie! more mysterious middles!! like so many of my stories!

yep... it's like i know some of the things that need to happen but there is a good amount of stuff left to figure out. like out some point you have to find out who the narrator is and sara has to meet sauldor (though that's in the first chapter). and i need to do a chapter about nick. stuff like that i know... but there's an entire character named Adalae, i'm trying to decide if i want to inclue or not. and if i do include her how.

yeah, I have lots of that when I write. just holes here and there and the big stuff planned out.

yep yep! 'tis rather frustrating and i would love to work some more on dream wanderer right now but i'm not exactly sure what to do... pretty much i need a good segway... and i'm having trouble finding one.