Marrying at a young age when you are not ready can lead couples straight from the wedding altar to court for divorce. If you don’t give yourself chances to get to know and live with a person you do not really know what they are like. They could have a horrible attitude that will come out now that it is no longer need that they impress your parents. Living at home and going to hang out with them off and on throughout the week is completely different than seeing them twenty four hours a day seven days a week. Young couples should always test living together first to make sure that they will get along. Before getting married couple should try to approach an independent life separately so they know how to handle their own money. Once you are out of your parent’s house you are on your own with bills. When some young couples marry their first love they do not give themselves a chance to experience what else is out there. For some, after they are married they might just happen to find someone who they find more attractive and interesting than their spouse. If there is ever any doubts always follow your gut feeling and never just settle. When I got married at eighteen it made me believe more than ever that marrying at a young age can lead to divorce. After I left high school I married my high school sweetheart and moved away because I was blinded by love. We could not get along and did not know how to balance a check book. I never realized at the time what I was getting myself into and wish I had given myself the time to learn. We were married for about nine months when we realized that our tempers would not allow us to be able to live in the same house. We could not stand each other after those eight months. We never gave ourselves the chance to actually see if there was something else out there. I never gave myself the chance to see what it was that I wanted and needed out of life. We were divorced two months later. Now I realize if you are going to marry at a young age more times than others it ends in divorce because of tempers, doubts, and not learning to be independent first.

I know a girl who married with her parent's permission at sixteen, she is still married today. Been married now for almost twenty one years. Last time I heard they had a baby boy, their first. (its been four years now).

Marrying young doesn't always mean that they are not ready. Everyone in life has arguments with their significant others. It is how you handle them which proves if you are ready or not.

I agree with you on that in some aspects. I still think some people get married at too young an age though. How you handle some things doesn't always make things better. Some people give their whole heart into making things better but some people just don't change. I am mainly saying that before you get married you should have a chance to live with the person. Once you are alone with them you may see a completely different side that you don't like. I know a few people who got married at a young age and still are married but I still think you shouldn't just jump into things without being ready.

In my opinion, this isn't really a debate as much as it is just a rant or quasi-advice thread.

I would have to agree with Kin. o_O;

I'd say it's not really anyone's problems but their own if two young people rush into marriage and later end up getting divorced... What do you propose we do? Raise the age you can marry?

I say it depends on the people and their attitudes.
If you know that they are the type of people who won't absolutely give themselves to the other person, then they shouldn't get married at a young age and should wait.

If their the type you know that won't be the cheating type or won't have to many problems with their partner, then I say they can get married...........in legal ways of course! ^^

Geting married and having kids, at 18!

First of all, I'm 19 years old and can't imagine being married and having kids right now. However, there's a girl on my facebook who has a 2-year-old son and is the same age I am.

I want to get married and have kids as much as the next woman, but right now I'm focusing on school. You can't focus 100% on something you're passionate about, something that will define your future, if you have kids. That's mostly because...your kids are your future.

My best friend is 25, and she's been married for two years, and her son is 13 months old. She wants to go back to school, but the thought of it is very stressful because her baby is so young and he demands so much of her time. We usually talk every single night because we live 9-hours apart, but I'm just getting to talk to her now after not having done so for the passed three days. She's been sick, and her baby has taken up so much time with her being weak that she couldn't make it to the computer.

Not to mention, at 18, you don't have a big-girl/boy job, so you're not making the adequate amount of money you need to in order to buy groceries so you can eat, clothes so you can go out (work, school, etc.), food/clothes and necessities for your baby, as well as the money you'll be spending in rent for an apartment or mortgage for your house or so.

So if you don't have your career, you don't have the money to support yourself, and you have to support a baby, too...how can that be exciting?

Having kids when you're out of school, not only financially secure, but more mature, too, is the better thing to do because then you'll be able to enjoy your life raising your baby with your education behind you, and look forward to giving your child one. It's too hard to raise a family while going to school when you're so young.

So...there you have it. My pros/cons on having kids at 18.

Personally, I would like to enjoy my childhood to it's fullest extent before I ever thought of giving practically everything up for children.

Marriage on the other hand is fine. I don't see much difference between being in a deep serious relationship and being married if you already know you're going to spend the rest of your life together. However, I would rather stay engaged until my twenties.

I am against marriage, and I believe that you should only have children if you are not only financially STABLE, but SECURE. As in, you could afford to take a year off of work if it were necessary. No child should have to be raised poor and needy.

O_O i would like to finish being a kid first. :)

_______________
"All I wanted was a cookie..."

You won't accomplish the things you want because you'd be tied down with a husband and kids. You'd get frustrated very easy. You'd never hang out and be young again. You'd have to work extra hard for a job you want and it pays good. Um...all the bad I can see. The goods are. You will be a happy mother, if you are happy. You'd have a wonderful husband. You have love and happiness. Err...you'd have kids who are Obedient?

as for getting married and having kids at 18, nothing wrong with that. i got married at 18, almost 19, and i just recently had a kid. i won't even be 20 until March! it just depends on how ready you are. if you still want to enjoy being a kid, don't do it! a kid is a HUGE responsibility, so there isn't much time for much of anything. but, if you feel like you're ready, go right ahead. =^_^=
and, joining the military at 18, i don't really know. i know some people from my high school that joined the military right out of high school, but i don't know how it's going. i'm at a loss for this one.

As one of the older posters on the board, I am going to put in a pro the younger posters might not cover: that when you're 18 you still have plenty of energy to keep up with your kids. =D

Having kids when you're older doesn't necessarily make it easier. As you get older you'll find you *never* feel the time is "perfect", you'll always feel you need "more" money and time, and as you get older you get more responsibilites totally unrelated to children, too.

As we have a similar thread about marrying young in the Debates Forum, i'm going to go ahead and merge the two. :)

Did you know that back in the old days like bible days that when a girl turned 11 or 12 they were married off? Why do you think that is? Ill tell you my opinion on it. I think so they could grow to know one another. Spend there time with one another and learn Thus leading to a healthier relationship am i wrong? I mean if you learn together and spend alot of time together you soon fall in love. That's why marriages dont work now days we have a standers and if you dont fit it your gone..thats not how it was back then. They didnt care about if you looked nice or anything if you were the oldest then you were married off. and both accepted that. i think it should still be that way.

Marriages at a young age are not that bad, unless they are forced.

But with this whole teacher and student realationship ( even after they are done with school ) I don't think its that bad ( unless they are still in school, that would be interupting the student's education and the teacher's work. ) Now when the student is down with highschool I think its perfectly fine. Really we were all students once so you can't say a "pervious student" boy/girl can't have a realtionship with a teacher.

Pretty much if both are willing, and it doesn't efffect their education or work ( or them ) l would say why not? :)

I'm not against marriages at a young age. In fact, I really DID want to get married as soon as possible (when I turned 20) but we decided instead to wait until I'm off my parent's insurance, finished college and have a job to pay for the wedding and house.

Plus since we liked the challenge of waiting, getting married later on was alright.

You're right, marriage when you're not ready is bad, but some people can be ready at a young age.

I know quite a few young women who have decided to wed right out of high school, and so far it's working for them. I even married my high school sweetheart two months after my 18th birthday. I was even still in high school at the time.

There are a lot of young people that have been together for years and know they want to be together for the rest of their lives. I don't think it really has anything to do with age. Someone who is 30 can get married and still not be ready for that kind of commitment. It's more about the strength of the relationship.

No. Marrying at a young age is not good. When you are young you are not yet wise enough to make such big decisions. You haven't experienced life enough to understand what marriage truly means. Plus, when you are so young you don't have the ability to support yourself and definitely not a whole family. Marrying at a young age is not a good idea.

Originally Posted by Snowy_Summer_Day

[SIZE="4"][FONT="Arial Black"]No. Marrying at a young age is not good. When you are young you are not yet wise enough to make such big decisions.

Your argument is based off the logical fallacy that all young humans are incapable of being wise and/or mature in their decisions.

Originally Posted by Snowy_Summer_Day

You haven't experienced life enough to understand what marriage truly means.

Marriage is simply a unity between two people that benefits them in legal and social ways. What else is there to understand and why can't young people have the capability to understand this meaning?

Originally Posted by Snowy_Summer_Day

Plus, when you are so young you don't have the ability to support yourself and definitely not a whole family. Marrying at a young age is not a good idea.

Marriage has nothing to do with supporting yourself nor a 'whole family.' In a marriage both people involved work together to achieve common goals and desires. It has nothing to do with supporting anyone at all or creating a whole family. By whole family I assume you mean having kids and whatnot by the way. If I am wrong, let me know.

Originally Posted by Snowy_Summer_Day

No. Marrying at a young age is not good. When you are young you are not yet wise enough to make such big decisions. You haven't experienced life enough to understand what marriage truly means. Plus, when you are so young you don't have the ability to support yourself and definitely not a whole family. Marrying at a young age is not a good idea.

If they have had a good education and understand what it means to be a family no one is too "stupid" for getting married, though its a big decision I expect that a 16+ year old will understand that sort of decision. Age does not come with knowlage, you have to find things out for yourself. :)

Now a child takes quite along time to grow, I really don't think that young couples are going to have a kid and right afterwards have a kid again, and again and over and over, I expect that a normal couple would take things slow, if not then they just have to find a way too make a living to support then and their family, but like I said I really don't think young couples are going to have to take care of like seven kids. ( My mother for example married when she was 18 and had a kid every three or four years, and ended up having seven, but my main point is, is that my mom and my dad supported our family nicely and took things nice and slow. ) Sorry if I offend you in anyway.

This is really a hard thing..
I don't fully agree with getting married at such a young age, but you never know. Some people (though it's a very small amount) are able to live their whole loves in love with that person, but most people end up fighting and hating each other.
Some people get married just because they got pregnant. Now I think that's a stupid idea. Who cares if your baby is a bastard? Wouldn't you rather your baby grow up in a loving family with a step father than grow up in an abusive family with their real father?
Still, that doesn't happen all the time.

I guess it really depends.
If this person really feels that they are ready to marry, then all the power to them. They're just going to have to face the consequences themselves if it doesn't turn out as planned. (Never marry as religious permission to have sex. That's just stupid.)

Personally I say no to getting married at a young age, however it's not a bad thing either, if it doesn't work out then lesson learned I would say. When people are young a lot of the time rash decisions are made, but I believe that from the decisions we make when we are young we learn from =D

I'm 21 and a lot of my friends are both younger than me and married. And while I really don't know how it's going for most of them. But there is one pair and she has a daughter and he has a physical disability and together they may look like an odd group, but there is a lot of love, understanding, and knowing there. So I think it really depends on the couple in question. Young love can work and in fact it usually works out better than those who were together longer and got married later in life. I think if you're willing to commit and make some adjustments then it really doesn't matter how old you are.