So I'm in the military. My problem is that although I've made friends with a lot the of the people I am forced (joking) to work with, I don't really connect with them outside of our drills. I was wondering if anyone else here is military, or maybe even had the same instance occur in their life? (examples: getting along great with people AT school, barely keeping in contact out of it. Working with someone for a long time yet never seeming to be able to get together outside of it.) I would love to be able to mesh my work life with my home life a little easier, just not sure how. It's like on gray's anatomy, work-husband versus husband-husband. I'm just not always comfortable inviting people I don't know well into home life, because if anythings goes haywire, it affects work life too. Any thoughts?

I can understand your wariness to connect the two, but to me, it is always worth it! Of course, I met my boyfriend at work, so I'm probably biased :-X

The way I see it, I think if you seem to get along well with someone at work, you're already halfway there. You already know your personalities seem to be compatible, now you just have to find some common ground outside of work! Sure, there's the possibility that a falling out could harm your work relationship, but as long as everyone acts like adults, it shouldn't be a problem.

Originally Posted by Kika988

I can understand your wariness to connect the two, but to me, it is always worth it! Of course, I met my boyfriend at work, so I'm probably biased :-X.

Totally biased, yup. :D Thankies for that though. I think imma give it a try soon.
Maybe a barbecue, or something?

Sure! Or you could always try for some neutral ground first -- rather than inviting them over to your place right off, why not suggest a group movie outing? Or shopping, maybe? I'm always wary of inviting someone over to my place and taking on the burden of entertaining them right off the bat... going somewhere in public puts equal 'entertaining strain' on both (or all) of you, rather than completely on you :)

Originally Posted by Kika988

Sure! Or you could always try for some neutral ground first -- rather than inviting them over to your place right off, why not suggest a group movie outing? Or shopping, maybe? I'm always wary of inviting someone over to my place and taking on the burden of entertaining them right off the bat... going somewhere in public puts equal 'entertaining strain' on both (or all) of you, rather than completely on you :)

*giggles*
group outing, yah...but I really can't see all my army men coming shopping with me. Unless it's for swimsuits...or lingerie. Food is an option of course, all guys like to eat. My friends are up for anything. Army guys, are so difficult though.:|

I can imagine! How about a movie? Surely theres a good movie out that you all want to see... maybe not Twilight (hehe)... Avatar, maybe?

Originally Posted by Kika988

I can imagine! How about a movie? Surely theres a good movie out that you all want to see... maybe not Twilight (hehe)... Avatar, maybe?

You'd truly be suprised...army guys are all about the mushy twilight bit. oooh, now THAT's an option. Theres a great park right next to the movies. Pinic type meal so no one feels obligated to shell out tons and then movie. although, then I have another isshy--do I provide all food/have people each bring something/collect say five dollars each and then get food? It's in my funds to pay for all of it (like, I'm not worried about the movie bit because I will definately buy everyone's tickets). Or do I just order a variety of pizza?

I'm the FRG (family readiness guru) for my unit, and we're all deploying soon, so keep the advice coming!! lol
Wanna have at least one good get together before we leave!

Originally Posted by pristinel

So I'm in the military. My problem is that although I've made friends with a lot the of the people I am forced (joking) to work with, I don't really connect with them outside of our drills. I was wondering if anyone else here is military, or maybe even had the same instance occur in their life?

I hate several people I work with. I am in the US army and crew on blackhawks. There is one pilot I just spent two weeks with in El Salvador for disaster relief. I wanted to punch the motherfucker. Just to say how I really feel. You have to put up with people you do not like. Just remember., You will PCS eventually and meet new people, run into some old ones.

(examples: getting along great with people AT school, barely keeping in contact out of it. Working with someone for a long time yet never seeming to be able to get together outside of it.) I would love to be able to mesh my work life with my home life a little easier, just not sure how. It's like on gray's anatomy, work-husband versus husband-husband. I'm just not always comfortable inviting people I don't know well into home life, because if anythings goes haywire, it affects work life too. Any thoughts?

It is nicer to not mesh work-life and home-life. I have been in a deployment and two year hardship tour. I see these people ALL the time. Its great to be able to get away from them. However, at the same time, you gain alot of patience and communication skills because these are the people you are with all the time. You learn how to adapt and work with people. You can form some really good friendships which make the work environment easier.

Hi! Military Brat here :D (so im not actually in the military, just wanted to throw that out there) I think the group outing idea sounds great! Maybe you could do something thats not totally unappealing to either sex like eating out, an agreed upon movie, ice skating, roller skating, etc. I hope you think of something fun to do because i know from experience that a lot of times you catch up with people again. The military is a small world after all haha. My parents met in the marine corps and ended up getting married and having 3 kids (me included XD) Plus my Dad and his best friend of years and years met in the military and they were both just PCSed to the same place. He lives right down the street! So I really hope you can make some great friends. The best of luck to you! :D

I'm not in the military, but I understand what you are talking about. I like to keep things separate. I'd feel weird if my roommates were in my classes, and I hardly ever see my good friends whom I hang out with while I'm on campus when I leave. I'm okay with it, though. I really like to keep the sections of my life separate. I really couldn't handle it when my best friend was in the same class as me once (we have different majors). It drove me crazy.

When I was in (the Army), I found that picnics, beach outings, and the like, were a great way to get everyone together. The less work it seems to involve, the more people are gonna want to be there. And anytime you tell a group of male soldiers that they can jump on each other half-naked and it'll be socially acceptable, they're all for it. ;)

Of course, I was a linguistic, so I knew all the nerds. This may or may not apply to your guys.

Good luck, though!