Okay, so I may full well be the only transgender person on this site. I'm okay with that. But I know Menewsha has a decent queer population, so I thought I'd see if there are any others like me.

Thing is, I'm wondering about using the restroom for my trans-gender. I'm not out to many people IRL. My girl knows, but her kids don't. My school knows, now, (community college) and I haven't had a problem yet, but the bathroom thing is really new.

So, if there are any other other transpeople out there, how did/do you handle using the bathroom in public?

(Also, I'm FtM, and just recently got the uh... mechanics... figured out so, I'm also considered with what to do with my device when I'm not actually using it...)

I tried to keep this below the PG-13 rating, so I hope people understand me, and that it is actually safe for this to be posted. If not, I'm really, really, really, super sorry to whichever mod has to deal with it!

I seriously doubt you are the only one, good luck.

Oh believe me, you are not the only transgendered person on this website. : ) While I've just admitted that I'm transgendered to myself about a month ago, I've always felt as I should have been male my whole life. It took me 17 years of figuring out stuff to come to the conclusion that my gender does not match my sex. Hell, I've even gone as far to say as my species was wrong, because it felt safer to completely alienate myself from being human than admit that I was transgendered.

I'm still accepting the fact that I am male, not female. The whole thing is so surreal to me.

But this thread is about you, not me, and unfortunately, because I'm still in the accepting stage of it, I don't have much to say about the bathroom issue. : ( I just know that female bathrooms make me extremely uneasy. It's like I don't belong there.

So I just avoid bathrooms all together until I'm home. :S I don't suggest doing that, as I've gotten sick a lot due to not using the bathroom when needed.

I'm just wondering, do you pass as male? Because if you do, you might get away with using a male bathroom. I myself don't pass in the least as I'm pre-everything. >w<;

I wish you luck!

I do pass fairly well. I use the men's room when I'm not around the kids, since they don't know. I don't feel uncomfortable in there, I just wonder how others handle it.

Right now, I just go for a stall, because I'm not ready to for urinals.

And this thread is for everyone. If you have stuff you want to talk about that involves being genderqueer in any way, bring it up. It's not like there are gonna be many threads like this.

Um, I've only been out for... about 7 months now. I realized that I was definitely at least androgynous about a year and a half ago or so. Then I hit the... Nope, more masculine than feminine.

I don't have many answers for anything, but the more people we can attract to this thread that are genderqueer, the better.

Maybe both of us can find some answers!

I'm not out at all right now. XD; I'm like...1% out. Like, some of my really good friends know because we just tell each other everything, but none of them know the extent I really want to be male, besides my one friend and my therapist. Oh yeah, my mom also knows but she thinks I'm lying, being over emotional, and exaggerating this whole thing.

Right now I'm kind of in this state of limbo between accepting it and denying it. But I've known I wanted to be male since I can remember. It didn't really hit me until I started developing a chest around the age of seven. Since then it's just been a spiral of events that just kind of led up to this. o.o All these memories and feelings of childhood gender dysphoria are coming back. It's kind of freaky. :gonk:

But yeah, I hope the both of us can find answers! It's hard to find answers for such things though, since gender is such a difficult thing to describe. I think the only way to truly find the answers you want is to discuss them with other people, to look deep inside yourself and voice out your feelings. If that makes any sense? XD

Maybe we should have just never had different bathrooms from each other in the first place. I know a lot of it has to do with modesty issues or whatever, but it also makes us insist on forcefully putting people into one of two categories and although I was born female and feel female, I know there's a lot of people like you out there who weren't born the gender that they are on the inside and even people out there who were born with both genitalia and it's just not fair to them. I don't know what to say to you other than that because this isn't an easy issue for society to deal with, especially if you're transitioning physically from one gender to another and don't fully fit into either category at this time physically.

Actually, I am not physically transitioning. Nor do I know if I ever will. I may at some point have top surgery, but overall, I'm comfortable with my sex, just not my gender. And those, to me, and many other members of the trans community, are two different things.

I appreciate your comment, though.

My ex-fiance was FtM too (and so's my brother)--as soon as he hit college, I bought him one of those looks-like-a-real-penis STPs, and he went wild over it, so he pretty quickly started using the urinal--he passed semi-well, too, when he wore his compression shirt. (I say 'semi-well' because I... honestly couldn't mistake him for a boy physically, but then, he didn't come out as trans until after we'd been engaged for a while. XD;; He looked the same to me.)

I'm curious about what you said up there about your device of choice--are you using one of the looks-like-the-real-thing kinds with the attachable bit that you can, er, clean? That's what my ex had, and he pretty well passed and took the removable bit out and put it in a little baggie. When he couldn't do that, though, he had a modified medicine spoon that he'd keep in a bag.

My brother just uses the girl's room, but he doesn't pass physically, and he's pretty much okay with it. (Especially in public, because when we go out in the town he lives in the girl's bathrooms are usually cleaner.)

Originally Posted by Megami_Maxwell

I'm curious about what you said up there about your device of choice--are you using one of the looks-like-the-real-thing kinds with the attachable bit that you can, er, clean?

Nah. Just a medicine spoon. I haven't started using it out in public yet, but I am using men's toilets. I can't afford a packer/StP right now. Not that I care too much. I pass pretty well just by wearing a baggy sweatshirt. I have a compression shirt in the mail, and I hope I get it soon, because school starts tomorrow (I'm in college), and I want to be known as a male. Luckily it's still cold enough to get away with wearing the sweatshirt all the time.

I think it's really awesome that you are so accepting of your ex and your brother. From the way you write, I gather it wasn't the gender issue that led to your break-up, and that's great. We need more folks like you in the world. :)

Originally Posted by KaiCalan

Nah. Just a medicine spoon. I haven't started using it out in public yet, but I am using men's toilets. I can't afford a packer/StP right now. Not that I care too much. I pass pretty well just by wearing a baggy sweatshirt. I have a compression shirt in the mail, and I hope I get it soon, because school starts tomorrow (I'm in college), and I want to be known as a male. Luckily it's still cold enough to get away with wearing the sweatshirt all the time.

I think it's really awesome that you are so accepting of your ex and your brother. From the way you write, I gather it wasn't the gender issue that led to your break-up, and that's great. We need more folks like you in the world. :)

Aww, thank you! :heart: The gender issue probably weighed in on it, to be honest, but our breakup had to do more with wanting two different things in a relationship--he wanted to do the 'young' thing a little while longer, and I'm apparently an old housewife at heart. XD;; I'm, er, very vocal about being a lesbian (partly because nobody believes me when I say so--just because my hair's long doesn't mean I can't like girls! >3>) and I definitely had trouble saying 'him' for the longest time. But my brother transitioning makes it a lot easier. (...Actually, looking back, a lot of people I dated have been transgendered or genderqueer. Huh. XD Hadn't thought about that, really.) My ex and I are still pretty close friends, and I went to his wedding earlier this year. X3 (It was weird seeing him in a dress to humor his grandparents! I thought for sure his groom would switch things up... There're rumors about doing that for some future anniversary. xD)

If your compression shirt's from Underworks, they ship really, really quickly. That's what my ex used. (I use them for cosplay now, too, because they work so well. XD) But while it's winter, you'll probably be okay with the sweatshirt thing, especially if you're androgynous. :3 I think if you're already pretty comfortable using men's toilets, you should give it a try at school--you can always make up an excuse if someone tries to hassle you. (I got dared to use the men's room all the time back in high school >__> Donno what those kids were trying to prove, but there wasn't a long line!)

Hope your first day goes well! :3 I'm currently dreading having to go back to my school on the 11th, but I'll send good vibes your way in the interim. :heart: