I have a good male friend that I will call R.
R and I can relate on an intellectual level [Kind of the basis of turning me on].
His sincerity kindles my feelings towards him.
At one point, things seemed to be going great for us.
R and I know a group of people that we don't really like hanging around.
One day, he asked me to come and eat with them.

This ended up being one of the worst days for me.

He insisted that i wear his jacket, asked how i was, but i couldn't respond well because my self esteem had went through the ground that day, and it is set off by the littlest things.
"how are you?" I noticed that the rest of the group were walking much faster than me [I have low endurance] which killed my self esteem and made me a little less sociable.
.
He payed for my food, though i had enough money.
I couldn't eat it, because I have problems eating,also it was unappetizing because i had picked in a hurry from nervousness. [eating disorder. ]
I slipped my seven dollars in the pocket of his jacket though, when he was not looking.
Also, within the group my ex who we will call J made a remark that further killed my self esteem.
me: "So J, what did you make on your speech?"
j : "an 86 ! you?"
me: "guess!"
j: "65"
me: -stunned- "how did you know"
j: "because that's the grade i would've given you."

So, consequently i was pretty much the silent wallflower during the whole time.

Later on when talking to R i spur off on what i had researched about the infamous Wineville chicken coup murders. [yeh.. i'm strange]
This seems to put him off, and he tells me : "i'm sorry, i can't stomach this right now. it's just, i like children and i don't want to think about them being murdered or raped. but tell it to me some other time."

Also, around this time i notice that R is taking interests in girls.
And he giggles around a girl, the same giggle he had around me whilst helping me with math.
It's totally discouraging, and I'm a one-time giver upper to these types of things.

The 2nd time he helps me with math:
When helping me with my exam review sheet, he leaves and tells me that he will return briefly and asked if I would watch over his sister's stuff.
I wait, and wait, and watch his sister return to gather her things.
He never returns, and I have been waiting for over 2 hours.
An acquaintance walks past me and tells me "R is in video game club playing games."

This comes to a total shock to me. R's sincerity up to this point had really put my heart on a platter.

I see him next week, and /I/ have to be the one who mentions it.

me: "w..were you aware that I was waiting for that long?"
R: "maaybe?"
me: "....?"
R: "I don't know if you've heard or not, but a girl named Cassie had a heart attack in video game club and being so worried about her, maybe i frogot ?"

So i let it go, and bid my farewells. After all, it's a good reason.
But, i still can't help but to think...
It happened on a Friday, and R had all weekend to get back to me.


What do you all think about the nature of our friendship, and do i assume too readily?

Well the whole deserting you thing was kinda not right. I mean you have a point about him having all weekend to get back to you. Maybe he realized and felt guilty and was afraid to face you. It's hard to say since I don't know his personality. Now as for the jacket and the buying your meal. It's sorta the kind of thing a guy would do on a date. But maybe you guys are just good really good friends? He did ask you to go with him however so I don't think it was right of him to be flirting with other girls. Maybe you don't assume too easily. Maybe he should try a little bit harder if he wants to be friends with you.

Thanks of the advice! I guess i'll just take the safe route and let things happen naturally.. if anything is supposed to happen that is.

It sounds to me like you're just good friends, but I would have to see you interacting to really know. Is there anyone who knows both of you who could give you an outside perspective? I think that could really help you. If not, maybe just try telling him how you're feeling. You obviously like him, but maybe you're not giving him any of the signals. Since you sound really reserved, you probably seem more put off by him than into him. (I've had this problem in the past due to my insane shyness)

PhantomLolita: unfortunately i cannot bring up anyone who knows both of us well enough.
But i agree.. i haven't been putting much effort into it... i did however bring him some halloween candy to thank him for helping me with math once, but i think that's it.
I'm just at a loss with telling him how i feel, because of ye old fear of even loosing the friendship. =/
Also, i can just see him.. all too easily holding my hands and telling me nicely.
"You're a great friend, but unfortunately that's all i see you as"