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Obsidian Raven's Song
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01-22-2010, 06:51 AM
I find it easier to think when I have someone to bounce ideas off of and to perhaps even give me some ideas. Of course, I don't know anyone who's willing or has the time...
Having said that, I have over ten stories and I need a bit of help for almost all of them. Right now, I'm specifically looking for help with a Yu-Gi-Oh! fic and a D.Gray-Man fic.
Of course I also have Star Fox, Sonic the Hedgehog, +Anima, NCIS, Loonatics Unleashed, Danny Phantom and Eragon, but those ones are fine for now.
Anyone willing to help?
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Amorphous Metal
The Metallic Sage
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01-22-2010, 04:28 PM
I was going to offer my help but then saw it was for fanfic and I have an irrational dislike of the entire concept of fanfic that I won't go into here. However, my wife writes and reads fanfic! She's not online at the moment but I've just asked her in RL and she said she'd be glad to help you. Her name is Saravi Boo. Just leave her a message introducing yourself and I'll let her handle it from there. I wish you the best in your endeavors and I hope you gals have fun. :)
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Saravi Boo
Licking threads since 2010!
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01-23-2010, 03:23 PM
I'll help! I'm not the biggest Yugioh fan but I know most of the characters and I'll do what I can. I do like D. Gray Man. I'm still watching it. I'm told I make a pretty good sounding board.
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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01-25-2010, 06:12 AM
Yay! Thanks so much. I'll just get some help with my D.Gray-Man story now then. I have most of it figured out but it's about half way, three quarters of the way through that I start getting a bit unsure.
Umm, I guess I should mention what it's about first. It's mostly a story about my OC, Rie Kanda, who is Yuu Kanda's younger sister. She's an exorcist but she doesn't tell anyone until she is forced to reveal it to help the others. She was trained by a hermit-like man who can forge anti-akuma weapons and he has a deep seeded hatred for the black order because of how they treat their exorcists so she adopted his beliefs. Now she is forced to go back to the Black Order. After that, things start getting a bit obscure. I had notes on more but my computor crashed and I have yet to regain access to them...
As for the D.Gray-Man anime, it's kinda sad about where it stops. It makes sense but the manga continues on for a bit after. I have yet to finish the anime myself.
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Saravi Boo
Licking threads since 2010!
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01-25-2010, 08:23 AM
I haven't seen the end yet so don't tell me please.
Hmm...what does she look like? What is her personality like? What is her anti-akuma weapon? Also, can you go into a bit of detail about the beliefs you mentioned? Once i have that in mind it will be easier to help with plot stuff.
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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01-26-2010, 04:03 AM
Ah, yes. I probably should have mentioned that before. Note to self: Sleep before you think. Let's try this again. Ahem.
Rie is pretty much the complete opposite of Kanda. She's outgoing, spontaneous and flirtatious (She's currently entertaining herself by teasing Lavi). Her clothing style is a little bit more 'modern' compared to Kanda's. She's a dancer (both traditional japanese and a bit more modern) and she dances with fans. Those fans are actually her anti-akuma weapons. Her teacher could not use anti-akuma weapons, but he can forge them. She's average height, slim build and her hair is in two pigtails at the top/side of her head. They reach down to her shoulder blades. Her hair is black, though her bangs have a blue tinge.
As for the beliefs, as I said, she adopted them from her teacher. He believes that the Black Order treats the exorcists as cannon fodder and doesn't truly care for the person behind the innocence. This comes from a time when one of his family members was in the Black Order. They were killed but he was never told. When he finally found out and confronted them, no one really seemed to care. He heard of the same thing happening to other families and began to hate the order. He has even gone so far as to say they are a self-serving pack of cultists. Rie doesn't go as far as to say that for all the members including the exorcists, though she does believe it for the upper managment. That is why she was reluctent to tell her brother about her innocence.
I haven't decided yet if her teacher will be turned into an akuma or not. She doesn't live with him anymore so I'm debating that when she sees him next if he's an akuma or not, and if so, who turned him.
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Saravi Boo
Licking threads since 2010!
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01-26-2010, 04:26 AM
Okay, that is much more to go on...next question, now that I have an idea of who she is....What has happened in the story so far and what sort of things do you want to have happen in the future (or even are just considering)?
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Ryn Gray
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01-27-2010, 10:41 PM
Well since you have someone to bounce ideas off of for your DGray Man fic, I could help you with your Yu-Gi-Oh one sometime... but only if it involves the original Yu-Gi-Oh. You didn't mention if it was the original or GX or 5Ds, and I'm afraid I'd be absolutely no help with either of the spinoffs. ;)
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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01-28-2010, 04:42 AM
@Saravi Boo - Well I don't have much done yet. All that has happened is that the exorcists have met Rie and found out who she is. As I said, she's a dancer so she was performing at a festival that was going on. She started her performance and the akuma attacked. She stayed out of it for a bit and at the end of the last chapter I have up Kanda is about to be attacked. What I have planned is for Rie to reveal her innocence and start fighting as well. Some of the people there accuse her of brining the akuma to their town and the exorcists say they have no choice but to bring her to the Order. When they get back to the Order, she is accused of being a traitor and accomplise to the akuma because she didn't come forward with her innocence right away and because she was found around akuma. She believes they are twisting the story a bit and hates them even more for it. She is put in confinement and under watch until they can decide what to do with her. Eventually they decide to send her with two exorcists as a test to go eliminate some akuma. I haven't decided yet who she will go with. Most of that is a little vague and more things will happen inbetween those. I do want her to meet her teacher again later but I'm not sure when or how. I'm not overly sure where to go after that. And some of the previous stuff is up for debate as well.
@Ryn Gray - Yay! Thanks so much. And it's for the original. I can't stand the stupid spinoffs. Have you seen the original original? The anime is sometimes refered to as either The Shadow Games series or Season 0. It's based off the manga. I plan to take elements of that as well if possible.
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Saravi Boo
Licking threads since 2010!
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01-28-2010, 05:35 AM
Hmm....So, she jumps in to defend her brother and thusly reveals that she has an anti-akuma weapon, ne? Then they take her to the order to protect her from the townspeople who were about to lynch her. Well, most people can't see akuma I thought... Moving on... Why would they think she's a traitor? She killed the akuma and Kanda should vouch for her, right? Do he and she not get along? Being found around akuma is expected of those who have innocence, the akuma are drawn to it so that doesn't work as a reason. They might confine her simply because she resisted going to the order after she was ordered to. I think there is precedent for that in the anime with (spoiler in white) Lenalee when she tried to run away or kill herself as a child. If she then convinced them to allow her a test run (perhaps as a ploy to try and escape), they would of course send a couple of exorcists with her to ensure her return to the order. That would put a kink in her plan and she would have to go through with the mission. I would send Allen and someone else (I'd pick Crowley personally, because he's my favorite). Not Lenalee because the order might be afraid she'd let the girl go. Through the story do you want her to change her opinion of the order or is she going to continue to fight them all the way? It would be more interesting to me if she were forced to accept her place in the order, however reluctantly. Maybe something could happen on that first mission to convince her they are the lesser of two evils, realizing that, while she may not approve of their methods, they are the best chance humanity has against the akuma. This could cause some interesting tension when she meets her master again, with her now being a part of all that he taught her to hate. Of course she could still be stubbornly fighting them in smaller ways, just not trying to run away from her duty.
Those are just ideas of course, just what I feel would be interesting to do with what you have told me so far. What do you think of that, anything you can use? Spark any ideas even? Let me know if you hate the whole thing and I'll see what else springs to mind....if you like that then where do you think it should go from there? How is her relationship with Kanda going to change with her being at the order? You also mentioned some flirting with Lavi, where do you want that to go? Any other pairings you might include?
Last edited by Saravi Boo; 01-28-2010 at 05:40 AM..
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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01-28-2010, 06:38 AM
Hmm, perhaps not traitor then. But there is one person in the order who likes to blow things like that out of proportion. Don't know how far you are in the anime, but you meet him eventually. God, he pisses me off. Anyways, it would probably be his idea to confine her. I do like the rest of it though. Her and Kanda get along fine though they haven't seen each other in years. She can be one of those clingy sisters at times and he can be one of those protective older brothers at times, but they're mostly just like any siblings. I like the idea of her changing her opinion of the Order later. I was thinking something along those lines.
I'm thinking her and Kanda may grow closer the longer she's at the order since they know what eachother is going through. She may also become a little bit more withdrawn, at least for a while, since she is being forced there against her will. As for Lavi, at first it's just teasing but I intend for it to go somewhere. I don't really have any others. Maybe some slight Allen/Lenalee.
Off topic, but what is the strangest pairing you've seen? Mine was either Lavi/Cross or Tyki/Cross
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Saravi Boo
Licking threads since 2010!
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01-28-2010, 07:05 AM
Off topic answer: I don't read much fanfic in this series since I don't want to be spoilered. *shrug* My favorite pairings are AllenxLenalee, CrowleyxMiranda, and AllenxLavi (yes, I like yaoi)
On topic: Okay, hmm...don't know who you mean, sounds like a jerk but it would have to be some high mucky muck's idea so if you think he'd do it then that works. Maybe she's locked in her room at first because they fear she'll run away and Lavi is assigned to bring her her meals or something. That way you could start them interacting nice and slow, with her all pissed and wanting to hate him for being part of the order, but honestly, who (other than possibly Kanda) can hate Lavi? He's just so darn likeable! lol. Kanda can visit her too, maybe to talk sense into her, that could cause some tension between them until she resigns herself to her place in the order. Or he might just isit to make sure she's being treated well, but not let her go because he's afraid the akuma will find her if she leaves the order and he won't be able to protect her. I'd say she shouldn't be locked up for more than a week or two in story timeline because otherwise it'll get stale.
As for how she gets the idea to escape by pretending to give in...would she come up with that on her own or would something have to trigger it? Maybe an offhand comment by Lavi? He can't keep his mouth shut, maybe he might accidentally mention that there has been an increase in akuma activity and they are running short of exorcists to handle it all or something? Then she might start off with whoever you send with her, Allen would be good because he kicks major booty and whoever else, planning to escape during the fight once she realizes she isn't being trusted by her companions not to run (she might even try to escape during the trip, and Allen could catch her in that giant hand of his, that could be funny. lol). But when they start fighting the akuma something happens to make her decide to fight alongside the exorcists (a child being or nearly being killed pops into my head).
Hmm...then the question becomes, is that the moment her opinion about the order changes or does it take her some time? does she have to be dragged back to the order and thrown back in her room for a few days before she decides to really give in, or would seeing the exorcists helping people and realizing they wouldn't have been able to protect any of them without the order to send them to the places being threatened be enough to cause her to have an epiphany right there in the middle of the fight? She doesn't have to start liking the order or approve of them taking over her life, just maybe admit that she is destined to be an exorcist and accept that the order is going to be part of that no matter how she feels about it.
Also, if Kanda is a tad protective, maybe he needs to have been sent elsewhere and therefore not have been informed of her mission before she left. I could see him possibly demanding he be sent along and that would make her have a personal stake in the fight. No escaping from her own brother and leaving him to fight the monsters, ne?
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Ryn Gray
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01-28-2010, 05:18 PM
*trying not to disrupt too much*
I've only seen perhaps three or four episodes of Season 0 (thank you, Youtube), but I own all of the manga. Season 0 was based off of the first seven books, if I'm remembering correctly, only Miho was much more prominent in Season 0 where she only showed up in one chapter of the manga.
And the only things I know about the spinoffs are from Yu-Gi-Oh the Abridged Series, so yay! Since you're working with the original, I can try to give you an hand. :heart:
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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01-29-2010, 03:44 AM
@Saravi Boo - Off topic once again - Yaoi can be very good. I am a yaoi supporter all the way =3
Back on topic - Hmm, that sounds about right. I can see her in her room mulling over what's going on and perhaps making escape plans but knowing none of the ones she comes up with will ever succeed since she's surrounded by exorcists. Lavi would feel bad locking her up but realizes that there is nothing he can do about it but try to make her feel more at home. He would realize where her hatred is coming from and try not to hold it against her. And I can definetly see Kanda threatening Lavi if he tries anything or doesn't treat his sister right lol. And you're right; no more than a week or two.
That offhand comment by Lavi sounds good and fits. I think sending Cory and Allen with her would be best as well. I just can't really see Kanda there. I agree that they would have to send him away because he does not want her fighting. Having a child almost killed or a mother and child helpless to protect themselvs saved by Allen or Cory would start to get her thinking. She would go back with them willing, but reluctant, if only because she doesn't think she can escape right then, and she's too preoccupied with thinking. When they get back they wouldn't confine her because she's stopped trying to escape but she doesn't want to help them yet. That would take a bit of thinking and talking with either Lavi and Kanda or both. And no, she wouldn't like it, but she would accept it.
@Ryn Gray - Alrighty, lets get started on this. I suppose I should start with my character (do you have a problem with OC's or characer/OC pairings? This kinda revolves around my OC) Learra Shino. She was born in Japan and was Yugi's friend. She moved to Egypt with her father (her mother passed away) when she was eight, which was the same year Yugi found the Millenium Puzzle. He found it after she moved so she doesn't know about it. When she's in Egypt she finds out about this organization called the 'Shadow Bearers' and that she is one of them. You can't just join the Shadow Bearers, you are born one. Learra turned out to be a strong Bearer and quickly rose through the ranks. The mission of the Shadow Bearers is to eliminate all the Millenium items and anyone who bears them. She ends up being sent back to Japan alone (her father died while in Egypt. She thinks he died of natural causes but I'm debating whether or not it was actually the Shadow Bearers doing) to destroy the Millenium Puzzle and kill the one who has it, not knowing that it's Yugi. After that I don't have much of an idea where to go, other than she will decide eventually to disobey the Shadow Bearers and protect Yugi instead. She will also discover that the Shadow Bearers have been lying to her and have plans other than what she knows. I don't know what they are yet, but yeah.
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Saravi Boo
Licking threads since 2010!
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01-29-2010, 05:13 AM
Sounds good so far. Do you want to work on writing that and see if you get stuck again or go ahead and bounce around some more ideas for later in the story? I'm willing to help either way.
I look forward to reading it when you get it posted. *smiles* :yes:
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Ryn Gray
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01-29-2010, 11:14 AM
I don't have a problem with OCs, so we're good. A few questions to get started. First of all, when exactly is this taking place? You mentioned taking some elements from Season 0, so it seems like you're writing at least before Duelist Kingdom. If that's the case, then the Millennium Puzzle might be the only known item. Perhaps she doesn't come to Japan alone, then. Finding the Puzzle and destroying its bearer would still be her mission, but maybe two or so other Shadow Bearers travel with her to be potential backup. Then, when she decides to betray the Bearers, there is someone to have some conflict with. The other Bearers could even be there on their own mission instead, like finding out information about other Millennium items since all 7 of them seem to have ended up in Japan by season 3. Heck, Ryou ends up at the school with the Ring sometime before Duelist Kingdom, so if he's there while Learra is than that could even be the mission of one of the other Bearers.
Also, tell me a little about the Shadow Bearers. Do they have specific powers, are they marked in a specific way, how is someone born into being a Bearer, etc. As for their eventual plans, they could be trying to collect the items and use the power for something. Probably not to unlock the Shadow Games, but perhaps something more sinister. After all, they were made with extremely powerful and ancient magics, so a lot can be done with them.
All in all, it sounds like a pretty good plot idea so far!
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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01-30-2010, 03:14 AM
@Saravi Boo - Thanks so much. I think I'll try writing for a bit. If I get stuck again later or just need help with an idea I'll ask when it comes up. Thanks for the help so far.
@Ryn Gray - It is at least before Duelist Kingdom. Other then that, I don't have a specific time. Some time between volume seven and volume one of duelist. I like the idea of her coming back with several others. She'll be sent to the school as a cover and when she see's Ryou with the Ring and tells one of the other Bearerers, who will then look into him.
As for the Shadow Bearers, their souls are marked with Shadows (their wording XD), resulting with a physical manifestation that looks like a tattoo somewhere on their body (Learra's is on her stomach). Someone who is born as a Shadow Bearer is born with the powers that come with it, but it takes training to refine them. Some are born with more power then others. Some of their powers are similar to that of the Millenium items in that they can also summon the Shadow Games. They can also manipulate the shadows and summon weapons that are unique to the individual.
The reason for the individualism is that each person has a different Shadow attached to their soul. If a Bearer is powerful enough, they can summon one of the Seven Shadows, but once they summon one, only that person can summon it. Learra can summon two, but they are the weakest two of the seven so that still doesn't put her on top. All the others are siginficantly more powerful then the two she can summon. She is considered somewhat of a prodigy.
I'm thinking that maybe she'll stop checking in with the other Bearers so they think she has been killed or something so they send someone else to destroy the Millenium Puzzle. At this point Learra hasn't decided who she will side with. She has seen Yami several times and is begining to get confused because he doesn't seem as evil as she's been told (she's developing a thing for Yami). She'll be there when the other Bearer finds Yugi (or Yami, depending on the situation) and then she'll make her decision.
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Saravi Boo
Licking threads since 2010!
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01-30-2010, 04:58 AM
No problem, I've got this thread subscribed so I'll be keeping an eye on it in case you need me. Glad I could help. ^_^
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Ryn Gray
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01-30-2010, 08:29 PM
Ooh, sounds good. Was there anything in specific you wanted to talk out with someone, or did you want help with anything in particular?
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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02-01-2010, 07:20 AM
Well I don't overly have a plot line. All I have is what I've said so far, nothing any more specific then that. I love the idea and I want to write it but I don't know where it's going. To start, I think I need to figure out what the Shadow Bearers are truly after. They're preaching that the Millenium Items and everything they stand for is evil and they exist to eradicate that evil. Unfortunately I'm coming up with absolutely nothing. I'd kinda like to work on that first.
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Ryn Gray
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02-01-2010, 03:13 PM
Okay! Well, you mentioned that they're stationed in Egypt. Perhaps the Shadow Bearers have uncovered the ruins of the tomb. This could be the tomb of a rival sorcerer/mage/whathaveyou to Atem's father, the Pharaoh that created the Millennium items, or a rival noble/diety/suchandsuch to Atem himself, or whatever else fits into your image and gets your creative juices flowing. The tomb could have some sort of dark ritual described on stone slabs or along the mummy's sarcophagus or on some kind of personal artifact; again, whatever fits your image best. This person would basically be the "original" Shadow Bearer, the "fore-father" or "fore-mother" I guess of the present-day Bearers. And the present-day ones would possibly have been searching for centuries to find this carving or artifact and be attempting to enact this great ritual to do whatever it's supposed to do. Plunge the world into eternal darkness, resurrect their demonic god, resurrect the dead, release their soul-beasts like the High Priests with the Millennium items are able to do, become one with the shadows. Or whatever you prefer, I'm just listing a bunch of things off the top of my head in the hopes that something might click in your mind to start your creative flow.
The point being that this ritual requires an excessive amount of ancient and powerful magics, none of which exist today save for the Millennium items. And since the mummy was a rival to Atem or his father, the ones to master the Millennium items, what better way to power the ritual than to improvise it by using these artifacts? Unfortunately, improvising rituals often doesn't go well; so even if they do get their hands on one or two items, terrible backfires are a dangerous possibility.
Obviously I'm making it sound a little light-hearted, but that's just the way I end up talking things out. *giggle* I have a bit of a habit of rambling when I'm thinking.
Of course, you don't have to take any of these ideas. I'm just looking into some possibilities and hoping to help trigger an idea that you want to run with. I agree that it's important to get the basic plot hammered out first before writing, otherwise you never know which way the story will go and it often seems rushed.
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02-03-2010, 06:36 AM
Hmm, I definitely like where this is going. I'm getting two ideas here. What do you think of them?
1. They've been searching for the original Shadow Bearers tomb (I like the idea of them being Atem's father's rival. and god do I need to rewatch Millenium World and/or read the mange...sigh...) for centuries to get ahold of the ritual that is inscribed there. It needs an immense power source so they've been trying to get ahold of the Millenium Items to power it. This is the more vague of the two and I'm not positive what the ritual is for.
2. The original Shadow Bearer (still Atem's father's rival) created the Shadow Bearers by attaching shadows to their souls. She (I think I'll make her the fore-mother) wanted them to eventually find the ritual in her tomb but not until they were strong enough. The Shadows grow stronger with every life they take and that strength is fed to the Seven Shadows. The Fore-Mother created the Seven Shadows with a certain trait that would allow them to absorb the power of the Millenium Items when destroyed, which is the power needed for the ritual. Still not 100% sure what the ritual is for but I'm thinking it might be to resurect her and release their Shadows into the physical world and they would then be at her beck and call.
And I just thought of an idea why Learra can summon two of the Seven Shadows. It only works for the second idea though. The Fore-Mother gave seven different people the Seven Shadows and made them her 'high priests' so to speak (the other Bearers are just followers who she gave regular Shadows). They were told they were never to reproduce with each other or their children would inherit both of their parents Shadows. Learra's parents could be from two different lines of Shadow Bearers (it is not limited to one child. Each child has the ability to summon one of the Seven Shadow, but in the end, only the first to do so will actually be able to) so she inherited the ability to summon both of their Shadows.
In case you couldn't tell, I'm leaning more towards the second idea lol.
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Ryn Gray
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02-03-2010, 03:16 PM
I like the sound of the second idea, and it seems like you do too! I like what you were saying about the fore-mother creating the Bearers by attaching shadows to their souls. Perhaps the reason why they haven't found her tomb or completed the ritual before now is because the Seven Shadows haven't gained enough potency yet? You were saying that they gain strength by taking lives... maybe not Learra, but maybe one of the people she is sent to Japan with has been secretly sacrificing people to the Shadows. When Learra finds out, this could be the trigger that makes her realize that the Bearers are up to more than they've told her, and this could be when she decides to dig deeper and finds out what they're really planning.
What exactly are the Seven? Do they have some type of form? I know you mentioned each Bearer can use the shadows to form a unique weapon, so are the Seven also a weapon or are they some type of fighter that joins with or helps the person who summons it?
And the explanation about the "high priests" being the ones to control the Seven makes a lot of sense. It also shows why Learra was able to master the Shadows so easily.
Last edited by Ryn Gray; 02-03-2010 at 03:18 PM..
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Obsidian Raven's Song
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02-04-2010, 02:57 AM
Hmm, I've been thinking alot about the Seven as well but I haven't quite figured out what type of forms they would take. I'm thinking the Seven would each be able to manifest in the form of a weapon like the others but these ones would be more elaborate in a way (because when they're more powerful that means they obviously have to look cooler lol). I'm thinking the Bearer would also be able to take on the Shadow's physical form. As I said, haven't decided yet what their forms are (they would all have different forms) but I'm thinking they'd be somewhat demonic in nature.
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Ryn Gray
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02-04-2010, 11:32 AM
That sounds like it would work. *giggle* And don't mind me, I'm just curious. Is there anything else about the plotline you wanted to work out? It seems like you're starting to get an idea of how you want things to go on the Shadow Bearer's end of the story, but was there another part you wanted to talk about with someone?
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