Uhm, this is gonna be awkward...*deep breath*

OK, so, I am a girl, first off. I am sixteen and have never had a crush/been physically attracted to someone. When one of my friends say someone is cute or hot or whatever (Male or female, one of my friends is bi), I don't really get it. I just kinda nod and agree, but I honestly don't find anyone attractive at all.

I would think I am just a late bloomer or something, but I have had sexual dreams/ masturbated. I am interested in sex, just not people. I have fantasied about males and females, but they never have any features, or I don't really see them. They have no real form.


Help? Is this normal, or no, and what does it mean about me and my sexuality?

Hmm, seems like you're not ready for anyone with dreams like that who knows what will happen with you. x3x
Goodluck!

Hmm...Maybe you could try talking to a doctor or counselor about it? It may not mean anything is wrong with you. Just sounds like you're just not into people right now for some reason. maybe if you saw a counselor and talked it out with them, they could hlep you figure it out? If you don't wanna see anyone about it, all you can do really is just wait it out. I'm sure it will change eventually.

Sixteen is still young so dont worry about it. You just havent found the right person yet. And just because you arent attracted to someone physically doesen't mean you'll never be. It is said that women are more drawn to personality than physical appearance. And for some people love comes before sexual attraction. There's no single answer to your problem but you can always wait and see what the future brings.

I think it's pretty normal, people just don't talk much about it. My guess is, that you don't care much about people's appearance, therefor you don't care if someone 'looks' cute or sexy. Did you choose your friends by looks or personality? Maybe you won't fall in love, unless you know them, since you don't get attracted by the appearance. Which is perfectly normal x3

you probably just haven't met the right person

Okay, thanks guys. That makes sense to me.

Originally Posted by Vompire

I think it's pretty normal, people just don't talk much about it. My guess is, that you don't care much about people's appearance, therefor you don't care if someone 'looks' cute or sexy. Did you choose your friends by looks or personality? Maybe you won't fall in love, unless you know them, since you don't get attracted by the appearance. Which is perfectly normal x3

I agree with this.

It could be as simple as a chemical imbalance (I actually went through something similar as a teen and it righted itself eventually). If you have other imbalance disorders (depression and what not) then that's probably it. You could talk to your doctor about it and see what they have to say about it.

You sound a little bit like me, I was a late bloomer too, I never had any intense interests until I was 18 years old, I also had no choices about gender. People would be more or less attractive to me based on their personalities, I fell in love with people more than the idea of sex. I have been told this makes me a Pansexual or some one who is less interested in sex and more interested in the personality of the individual. Maybe that is what you are. And yes even at sixteen you are not late at all, some people just take a little longer than others. I wouldn't worry yourself to much about it, you will likely find yourself with time. =)

Sounds normal to me. I was always more attracted to personalities than looks, which sounds like what you have going.

yer still 16 soo yea :] don't worry about it .. :] uhmm ..

one day you'll find yer prince charming .. -- im sure you will :)
cause living life without love - is not a life ..
oye oye ..

i agree with krusadin give yourself time and try not to stress who defines "normal" anyways lol it seems overrated to me :)

Much like others here I feel you on this. It's pretty common so no big deal, but I'm glad you had the courage to write this. Now on lookers who may be feeling the same can see the comments being posted and feel more comfortable/get advice on the matter.

Woah didn't expect this many replies! Thank you all so much! I used to be always so worried about if there was something wrong me because I kept hearing stories about people getting their first crush in grade three and stuff, and I've never been attracted to anyone at all.

But you guys really reassured me, so yeah... Thanks again, I suppose. Recently, due to a combination of this and several other things, I have had massively better self esteem then I ever used to, which is pretty great feeling!

Thank you everyone!

I don't think there is anythng wrong with you! You just maybe a late bloomer. Don't panic, I'm sure this actulley happens to alot of teenagers they just don't admit it!

I'd say its normal, and you are still young. just wait a while. But you'll know when you find the right someone.

Ok, so I think you got the general idea down. I'm pitching in my opinion for the heck of it--don't be in any rush to fall under a relationship. Someday you will, it will happen for you like the way all things fall into place. Be a little choosy too when the opportunity arises. Also, don't take the first guy that comes around. It's almost like shopping, make sure you really like the guy and know every bit you need to know. If you're not absolutely in love, keep searching. But for the moment, you're only sixteen. I'm only seventeen, I started relationships when I was fourteen but there were only two I actually took into relationships over the time. I've been able to get a year out of each. The first was moving too quickly sexually and grew out of me, the second too slow for my taste, but sex and such is something I feel I can wait on for somebody I really love, and I do believe I really love the current guy, so I'll wait as long as he needs us to before we try anything like that. Then there's a girl at my school same age who thinks "yeah, some guys are hot", but she's never been in a relationship by her choice and doesn't really want to be. Her way and yours may be the most intelligent way to go actually, because you can focus on the things that really matter right now like school, graduation requirements, friends and your family. A relationship adds weight, if you don't balance right you may loose some friends along the way, grades can drop, you fall behind. It's a nice feeling and all, but in the end life starts, and that person isn't ALWAYS going to be there for you. It's important to develop your plan and stick to it, and when someone else comes along, you make sure they understand and accept your plans and wishes. And then of course there are the kids in fourth grade that think somebody's attractive. I personally think that's just all bad and totally ridiculous. But everything happens at a certain time, a certain pace for everyone, and just because yours didn't fall in as fast as your friends have, there's no need to be ashamed for it or embarassed, or feel you need special help, or anything. Because it will all happen when it's right. :)

I agree with what some of the others have posted about you being young, and still having plenty of time to develop in terms of your sexuality. I can honestly say that there isn't anything wrong with you for feeling this way. I happen to have a very close friend of mine who is asexual...which in a sense is that she isn't attracted to either gender particularly (Pansexual is also a term for this sort of situation, but I feel that that relates more to having an interest in both genders, but not focusing on one more specifically than the other). To continue, this same friend of mine has masterbated and had sexual thoughts just like anyone else, but has most likely taken the same approach as you and just focused more on the actions and forms than the actual features of the other parties involved.

In short, I think you have plenty of time to feel out and develop and see what sexual orientation you actually feel you relate best too, but just be aware that if you continue life the way you currently are, that's just as fine...and remember, you're not alone in that sort of struggle...

I hope this has helped.

At first I wanted to say that you're asexual
and you may still be, because the technical definition of asexuality is not having an attraction to anything/anyone
If you think this is a possibility, then maybe you should try checking out this site :Asexual Visibility and Education Network
it's referred to as "AVEN"
hope that helps at all

and if you find this not to be true, then maybe you are just a late bloomer
I know how you feel to a degree because I didn't start finding people REALLY attractive until a couple years ago
I still had crushes, but it'd be rare that I'd see a person I was attracted to, especially males

I agree that it is perfectly alright. it just means that you really have no true interest in physical appearance, which is probably the main reason why your fantasies are usually of featureless people. There's nothing wrong with it, in fact this has happened to me before as well. It's not really anything that you would need to worry about. At least I don't think so. Crushes are mainly based off of physical attraction, not love for a person's personality. They're often lust based and it doesn't seem to me that you are lust driven. It seems that you are curious about the idea of sex but I think you may be the kind of person who prefers it to be done with love and not lust fueling it. Don't worry.

I guess it's normal at 16, you just haven't found the right one yet :)

I don't think anything is wrong with you. One of my friends is the exact same way and she is a freshman in college. Just don't dwell on it is all

I didn't get my first crush till I was 21 and it's lasted a year and a half. I Also think 16 is way too young. There is an eleven year old girl at my church who keeps telling me about her best friend stealing her boyfriend. I think it's insane that kids try to be like what they think an adult is, only to find out by the time they're 20 that most of it is a big lie.

you're perfectly normal, my dear. and i guess i can relate with you.

sexual urges are often strong during one's adolescent years. but acting on them wrongly can lead to some very very devastating consequences latter in life.

i suggest you try not to look for sex but rather establish real relationships with people first. sex will come afterwards.