Aww *snuggles* Whats up?
OMG she did??! That is fucken awesome!!!

Yep Sept 1st I think is when she gave birth? Kin made a post to let everyone know.

Well I'm stressed. Kinda feel bad too as hubby has been doing overtime and I told him I'd be here for him to pick him up and I can't even get myself motivated. I'm a bit bummed right now as we were suppose to be getting a puppy from my stepdaughter's friend but her mother hasn't been keeping contact with us. I've left a few messages on her phone in the past week and a half and haven't heard a peep. We then tried driving out to her house tonight and her car was there, the TV was on but no one was answering the door. We didn't know if they're seriously not there or hiding or what the hell is going on.

I've also kinda got the blues too as it seems like a lot of friends I know have been having babies lately and it's got me in the dumps. Hubby doesn't want anymore and just recently got clipped. He's adamant though that his two are enough. I would like to have my own one day, but not gonna happen unless I leave him. Kinda puts me in a crappy position. I mean I told him that I was 'OK' with it, but that's with the understanding that he's dead against it, my parents won't be any form of support and his mom has trouble as it is now with her two grandkids. Also I want the circumstances to be right for it too, and with him paying out child support to his ex we can't afford me to not be working, let alone be a stay at home mom. :/

And then of course money has been tight, but that's old news.

*takes a deep breath* I think that's all of it...for now.

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I've been trying to deal with the finality of it all. He had it done the end of June, and I'm feeling better than I was then but I have those days where I'll see some really cute baby pics or someone's baby and it just kinda brings the feelings back up again.

Originally Posted by Chunsa-chan

What's the color code for that? That's just AWESOME.

Yeah... I'm really sad that I forgot to save the code for my cosplay avi. I thought I did but it was the wrong one. Oh well. Anyway, here's the one for the blue:

Hair: #075f9c Highlight: #1ad0ff

@Izu - Thats awesome :), they must be soo happy!

For reals? That's frekkin weird... I hope you get to the bottom of it. I hate how people ignore people, instead of just being honest with what's goin on and how they feel etc.

Aww hun that is a really sad situation. It kinda makes me wanna cry! Why did you marry him, if you wanted kids? I don't think i could be with someone who doesn't wanna have their own some day. What are you gonna do? Because i can tell you right now, if you have these feelings about having a kid, they're only gonna get more stronger ... I know a friend of a friend in a similar situation, has two kids from a previous relationship got the chop. But he always said he'd reverse it for her, but he's taking his sweet merry old time about it and it's getting her down too. Cause she's almost 30, and wants to start having a family and stuff.

I have those days too lol. But i'm still reasonably young and not married yet. Hopefully still got a few more years under my belt at least hahaha.

@Zig - Thanks hun <33

He says he's not going to change his mind, ever. And to be honest I rather just work through these horrible feelings anyways. Like I said the support system isn't there and I really don't want to do it all on my own. I love my step kids but just feel like I miss out on a lot of stuff, not to mention I have no control over what happens with them at their mom's. I worry about them when they come home with bad grades or making bad decisions as they get older.

I love him, just I'm sad he feels the way he does about it...and I regret supporting the decision now. It's kinda too late though. I mean he can have it reversed but he says he couldn't be happier about his decision...he just worries about me and how I feel. He has apologized for making me miss out on that aspect of life but says he's happier without it.

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And I guess really I've been lonely this weekend...and it's kinda made things feel worse. It's been real quiet around here.

Next weekend won't be nearly as bad as the kids will be here to spend some time with us. I'm looking forward to that.

Anyways I'm going to sneak back into bed and try to sleep. Hubby is wanting me to do more housework tomorrow...we'll see how that goes.

To be honest it just sounds selfish of him. This isn't something small that you can lock away and forget about ya know? I'm sorry that's just the way i feel.
And to be honest, i know you don't have the support system and all. But he is your husband and he should be your support system. If you don't have anyone else to rely on, you should be able to rely on him, regardless. And maybe it's not right, right now. But you just don't know with the future do you? I mean i know a lot of people who didn't have the money for kids, but they got through & worked around it.

I know you love him and stuff & this has nothing to do with me. If it was me i couldn't live with it. I would rather let go, and move on, then go without the things that i really want deep down. I mean isn't love meant to be about compromise? How could he just turn his back on something so important.

I dunno hun, i don't wanna cause problems or anything. It's just i really really feel for you. Cause i know i want kids badly. And if i was stuck in this situation i just know how i'd be feeling. *snuggles*

Well I guess something echoed in the back of my head from a long time ago. A friend of the family was visiting with us and her and her husband were my parents age without kids. I asked her about it as I was curious. Her reply resonated - If both people don't want kids from the bottom of their heart, it's not going to work out. She had wanted kids and at first apparently he was open to the idea, but as they settled down he said by no means. She decided to stick it out with him. They both still seemed happy.

I mean a part of me is OK with it. We don't have the room for the two kids that Aaron has, and if something were to happen to their mother we would be able to get by. Add another mouth to the mix and I think things would get complicated really fast. :/ The kids have to share a bedroom here, as there are only two...If we had a child I couldn't justify letting the child that lives with us go without a bedroom while the children who come over for a couple of nights every other week take it...even if they were here first. :/

You know i had this discussion with my new boyfriend lastnight lol. I told him about my friend who is in a similar situation. He actually said exactly what i said. That in most cases you will get resentful. You may love him to death, i'm not questioning that. But kids are such a big part of a relationship, can you really go without a piece of yourself forever? I mean he's gonna have his kids to look after him when he's old, what about you? Where is the fairness in all of this? He could have atleast said he'd give you 1, ya know?

Yeah i know it's not ideal right now, but it could be in the future? I also know it's not fair to pressure someone into something they don't want aswell. So it's like a lose lose situation. It just ... I don't know how to tell you how really gutted i feel for you, right now lol. Yes i get overly emotional over things i believe in lol.

My new boyfriend was pushed into having a kid, when he wasn't ready. He had the male version of post natal depression, started drinking heavily. Ended up leaving her and the kid and moving back to NZ. He's only just come right in the last year... Its just people want what they want right? But it seems no one really thinks about how it will affect the other person in the situation. Anyways here i am ranting on Lol.

Yah that's the thing is I don't want to push it on him and make his life miserable. Having a kid is a big thing, and if its not what he wants it's going to destroy our relationship.

My hope is his kids end up loving me just as much as if they were biologically mine and it won't matter. I'm gutted I don't get to have some of the experiences of early childhood with them...I didn't get to watch them say their first words or take their first steps. I don't get to take them to their first dy of school...stff like that. Something tells me though that their mother is fairly jaded and doesn't enjoy or appreciate it.

My husband said to me (when he was angry, so I take it with a pinch of salt) that the reason I'm so upset is because for once I've been told no and I don't deal with being told no well. Maybe that is part of it...that feeling that I don't have the choice....because before the surgery and when we first got together I told him I didn't want kids. For the longest time that's how I felt.

I dunno it's one of those complex messy things. For now I'm trying to get my degree and my life back together so I can sustain myself with or without help. I think THAT takes presidence now and if our situation changes there are options. I can adopt...and if we have the money it is technically reversible. It isn't a guarantee though so we would be taking a gamble.

Bleh... I wish I knew how those votes were coming along! I'm rather jealous that you get to see them as they come Roachi! All the rest of us are stuck in suspense until it's over. T_ T

I still need to vote. :lol:

I almost forgot! :shock:

Oh noes! You should definitely vote before it ends. ^_^

I finally voted. Good luck everyone.

I know, I finally voted too. :lol: :oops:

Thanks for the votes guys, voting closes tonight at 5pm.
It is now currently 7.08am. :D

Time zones still blow my mind sometimes. xD It's 3:07pm on the 7th here.

I know? Why can't it all just be the same lol.

Alas, the sun insists on our little global time warp. I rather like that midnight is midnight no matter where you go. It's never morning, never midday. Midnight is always 12 am. Unless you're in Indiana, I guess. That state... :roll:

*totally excited about hearing the wiener, though* !!

XD I think it'd be kind of cool. "What time is it?" "12:00am" "It's 100 degrees and the sun is right above my head. How could it be 12 am!?"

Yeah i might cut it short and announce the winners earlier.

It wouldn't be a terrible idea so long as the running isn't really close. ^^;

Originally Posted by Estrella

*totally excited about hearing the wiener, though* !!

XD I think it'd be kind of cool. "What time is it?" "12:00am" "It's 100 degrees and the sun is right above my head. How could it be 12 am!?"

Yeah, you think time zones are confusing now. XD Just wait 'til everyone is on Greenwich Mean!

I'm looking forward to hearing about the winner, too! It was a good turnout this round. But... now I have to go back to learning how to use Second Life. (This online class is going to be weird...)

Yah I'm excited to hear the winners myself, Roachi. I'm so not thinking I'll win, but I had fun either way. :3

Is anyone else experiencing slowness with Mene or is it just my internet connection?

Nope I'm having the whole slowness thing. I was wondering if it was on my end but if you're suffering too it must mean something's up.

I wonder if the event is coming...*gets uber excited*