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gidgetfaelynn
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#1
Old 02-02-2010, 04:37 AM

-------------------------Heads up: It can get a bit graphic. Also, does anyone know how to "tab" the line over?--------------------------------
"Please, Katherine, I cannot live without you,” the stunning doctor said. In one swift move, he turned her around and dropped to his knee. He slipped the ring box out of his pocket and asked, “Katherine, would you do me the honor of being my bride?”
Though Katherine was still angry that he had left her alone yesterday, her heart melted as soon as he dropped to his knee. She began to cry, a big smile on her face. “Of course I will, Francisco,” she replied through her tears as he slipped the ring on her finger.
Francisco stood up, and Katherine lunged at him, repeatedly kissing him and running her fingers through his hair. “I love you,” he said between kisses.
Audrey Freeman looked up from her romance novel. Without turning her head, she looked at her husband that was seated at the table a few yards from her. She watched as he read the finance section of the newspaper with his cold, calculating, blue eyes.
She stared at him with special contempt today, as it was their first anniversary as a married couple, and they had no plans. Actually, they did have plans, but not together. Ambrose Freeman had scheduled most of the day so he was out entertaining clients who were visiting the city. When he came home, he would eat his dinner, read a book, and then retire to bed, as he always did.
Audrey Freeman had darker plans. She was sick of the way he treated her. It wasn’t that Ambrose abused his wife; it was that he ignored her. They rarely spoke to each other since they were married, and the last time they had sex was on their honeymoon, but only because it was raining and Ambrose became bored. Audrey had to do something to free the burden Ambrose had placed on her. She wanted a divorce, but knew that not only would she not be able to stand the community looking down on her, and she knew she would be left with nothing, as Ambrose handled all of the finances.
Audrey placed a false smile on her face and waved good-bye to Ambrose as he left for the day. She closed her book, placing it on the living room table, and looked around the clean white living room. Ambrose had oppressed Audrey for far too long.
She walked into the kitchen, opening the knife drawer. She played out the scenario in her mind. Audrey was cutting vegetables, and Ambrose was behind her, grilling the steaks on the stove top. He turned around to grab the pepper from the cabinet above Audrey. As he was reaching over her, fumbling through the cabinet, trying to find the pepper Audrey had already taken out, she took the knife she was using on the vegetables and jammed it as hard as she could into Ambrose’s stomach behind her. He clutched his stomach in anguish, the wound already bleeding profusely. He fell to the floor, life leaving his eyes as Audrey towered over him, a smile on her face. No, that would never do. Audrey closed the knife drawer. Ambrose would be much more careful than that, and she couldn’t rely on the knife killing him that quickly. There was also the problem of the mess afterward.
Audrey walked down the stairs in the basement, where Ambrose would read his book later. She looked at the fireplace, and played out the scenario in her mind. Ambrose loved reading by the firelight, which was the only romantic thing he did. He got to his knees to start a fire burning. He put more wood in the fireplace, and soon, a roaring fire had started. The light of the fire revealed Audrey standing behind her husband. Before her could turn around, she pushed him into the still open fireplace. Audrey smiled as Ambrose screamed in pain, being burned alive, unable to pull himself out of the fire as his shoulders were stuck in the fireplace. She shook her head. It would never work. He would not get stuck in the fireplace, and the screaming would awake the neighbors. On the other hand, there wouldn’t be a mess to clean up.
Audrey left the basement and headed for the master bathroom. She opened the cabinet and played out the scenario in her mind. She took the sleeping pills out of the cabinet and to the kitchen. Using the rolling pin, Audrey finely crushed the pills into a white powder. She mixed that into the food until it wasn’t noticeable. Audrey served her husband his meal and silently ate hers while she smiled. She knew he would die of an overdose. It would never work. Audrey closed the bathroom cabinet, shaking her head. If Ambrose decided to go out after dinner, she wouldn’t be able to see him die. Also, if he died while out of the house, his body would be autopsied, and they would find that he overdosed on sleeping pills for no reason, as he had a happy life with many friends outside of the house who he always talked to.
Audrey wandered into the bedroom and gazed at the bed. She smiled as the scenario played out in her mind. Ambrose was sound asleep, his hands neatly folded on his chest, as he always slept. He already had the appearance of death; Audrey only had to make it slightly more real. She held the pillow over his face tightly. Ambrose struggled at first, but Audrey had positioned herself in a way so he couldn’t shake her off. Soon, he struggled less and less until he stopped moving. Audrey held the pillow over his face for a few more minutes until she was sure he was dead. She removed the pillow and smiled at the dead face of her oppressor, his face as pale in death as it was in life. Audrey smiled, nodding her head. It was the perfect solution. She would wake up in the morning and call an ambulance. She would pretend to be scared and sad, and she would get away with it.
Audrey, now skipping with joy, returned to the living room. She picked up her book and resumed reading where she left off. The time flew, even after Ambrose returned home. They ate dinner quietly, and Audrey cleaned up as Ambrose left for the basement.
Once finished with the dishes, Audrey walked up the stairs. She walked into the master bath and started running the water. She turned on the small stereo and began to undress to the classical music. She wore a smile the entire time, as this would be the last bath she would take while Ambrose still restricted her. She slipped into the water and poured some scented bubble bath in the water. Audrey leaned back onto her bath pillow and closed her eyes.
Audrey opened her eyes again when she heard the door open. She watched in silence as Ambrose began to brush his teeth. He then took out his razor and shaving cream.
“Audrey, I must admit that you seem happier tonight,” Ambrose said, looking at Audrey’s face in the mirror.
Audrey looked at her husband’s cold, calculating eyes in the mirror as she responded, “What’s it to you?”
"No need to become defensive,” he said as he began to shave.
The couple remained quiet as Ambrose finished shaving. He then washed his face. He walked closer to the bathtub and dried his face with a towel. Ambrose looked at Audrey as he pushed the radio into the tub.
Audrey’s body went stiff as every muscle was charged with the electricity that now flowed through the water. She was paralyzed, staring up at Ambrose, who wore a smug smile as he looked at her with his cold, calculating, blue eyes. She wanted to swear at him, to curse him because he had restricted her once again.
Once the life left Audrey’s body, Ambrose left the bathroom and called an ambulance. Once he was finished explaining to them that the radio had fallen into the tub, he returned to the bathroom to act like the perfect husband everyone who knew him believed him to be.
“Happy anniversary, Mrs. Freeman,” he said as he looked at her corpse with his cold, calculating, blue eyes and smug smile on his face.

TaverFox
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#2
Old 02-15-2010, 02:45 AM

I like your idea, but it has no underlying REASON. Just because one is ignored doesn't mean they'll have the urge to KILL their partner. I can attest to that myself. =/

Just my opinion

gidgetfaelynn
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#3
Old 02-15-2010, 05:27 PM

What's anyone's reason for killing? In most cases, it's a different psychology, and in others, a chemical imbalance called "insanity." You don't have to agree with it, or accept it, but that's my opinion. Thanks for the feedback.

TaverFox
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#4
Old 02-15-2010, 06:27 PM

It's cool. I just think you need a bit more leading up to the murder. I do like how it doesn't give any inkling to Ambrose's plot though.

Kole_Locke
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#5
Old 02-16-2010, 06:28 AM

What made you write a story like this? It's definitely the climax of a chilling psychological thriller.

gidgetfaelynn
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#6
Old 02-16-2010, 06:45 AM

It was a spur of the moment short story. I had the creative itch to write something rather dark. Up until I wrote thing, I normally wrote relatively happy stories. Since this, though, everything has had a darker meaning to it. It's odd, but I like my style better now. It was also a nice break from the norm.

Carpe Diem
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#7
Old 02-16-2010, 07:29 PM

I really enjoyed reading that. I didn't see the end coming at all. The part where Audrey was plotting was interesting. Each way to kill off her husband seemed to be quite possible and I liked how she debated on each until choosing the best method. The fact that Ambrose's method turned out to be the best of all was really cool.

gidgetfaelynn
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#8
Old 02-18-2010, 04:58 PM

I appreciate the feedback and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

sherogirl
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#9
Old 03-04-2010, 10:51 PM

The begining is a little choppy but very discriptive. you can almost picture it and that is very good

Blissful_Nightmares
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#10
Old 03-05-2010, 03:34 AM

I don't know whether the ending is good or bad.
Honestly I can say I never had an inkling that Ambrose would murder Audrey.
However, I don't really like how there was never a clue that maybe Ambrose hated Audrey just as much as she hated him. He seemed more like...he didn't care.

It's a good story. I really just don't like that disconnect. Not at all.

gidgetfaelynn
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#11
Old 03-08-2010, 02:45 AM

You seem rather conflicted, Blissful. Sorry about that. But as I've said, this was a spur of the moment thing I had to scratch down. I don't normally write short stories, but when I do, it helps with the creative process for my novels.

Lord_Ebony_Red
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#12
Old 03-14-2010, 01:10 AM

It was... interesting to say the least. I liked how she was so smug at the end, and that even though he killed her, and had obviously been planning on it, he never showed it.

gidgetfaelynn
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#13
Old 03-16-2010, 02:17 AM

Thanks.

 



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