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Pixel Cafe
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#1
Old 05-26-2010, 10:48 PM

I've this friend for over 3 years now and we don't know each other in real life. She is one and a half years younger than me. I'm 15, and she is 14 in august.
She is lately being so EASILY offended, it's getting on my nerves.
I was talking to my dad over the phone so i couldn't reply to her Im's on AIM right away. And she jumped to the conclusion that she was being a bother and signed off.
This has happened many times, when it doesn't go her way or whatever.
If i forget something really miner she signs off. And she gets easily mad for little things. Like she loves Kingdom hearts and I've gotten into it to, and somehow now i know more about it than she does. i don't rub it in her face or anything! And like when i told her the release date for the new game she went crazy! She got mad at me for that. I don't understand her anymore! She wants to be this perfect little bitch who don't let the others talk or anything. And she always does this thing to make YOU feel like the bad one!

Should I stop talking to her? She gets me in a bad mood a lot lately. But i still do like talking to her and etc. We talk 24/7 because with have sidekick phones. we talk about everything x_x she has taken part in my life, and she IS important to me despite the fact that i don't know her. But if shes going to continue being this bitch and getting me in a bad mood i should just stop talking to her?
or ignore her for a while?

Laila Izuka
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#2
Old 05-27-2010, 02:17 AM

You need to talk to her about her getting easily offended, especially THAT much. There may be something going on where she lives that might be making her act that way, or she could just be doing it on purpose, or something. Though if she cannot handle the conversation, then it would probably be best if you two stop talking to each other. Or at least until she comes around and apologizes for jumping to conclusions 'n such so much.

HeartMoogle
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#3
Old 05-27-2010, 02:23 AM

What you SHOULDN'T do is ignore her. This is not good for two reasons:
1: She's already accusing you of ignoring her and such, so if you actually started ignoring her, then she'd be right and you couldn't be upset with her anymore(logically).
2: It would be mean.

You should try talking to her. Tell her calmly and gently how you're feeling. Laila's right, there may be more than meets the eye here and she could be relying on you for emotional support for whatever reason. She may also even have a crush on you and get jealous really easily of things because of this. You sound like you really care about her and about your friendship with her, which is good. Don't let a little tendency destroy that, because she sounds like she cares, too. :)

AldreaOrcinae
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#4
Old 05-27-2010, 03:47 AM

People like that are bad for your blood pressure. I've learned the only thing to do is cut them out of your life. No matter how much you like them, they will be a constant source of stress, and you don't deserve that, nor should you have to put up with it. There is no reason for hysterics when you tell someone the release date of a game. She needs to grow up, or get some professional help, or both. Until that happens, just don't deal with her. It may be difficult to avoid her at first, but believe me, it gets easier in a relatively short amount of time.
I know a guy who used to be a very good friend to me. He helped me out a lot, especially when I caught my fiancee cheating and left him. However, when I subsequently met my new boyfriend, he became a total jerk; first he'd guilt trip me into going out and partying with him, but by the end of the night he'd be drunk and telling me what an asshole I am because I refused his advances after my boyfriend and I had very obviously been together more than a month. It got to the point where every outing with him turned into a giant pile of drama, between his berateing me and bemoaning his life crashing around him (which were all the result of stupid choices he had made, like driving drunk and totalling his car). So I told him the last time that hanging out with him was more trouble than he was worth, then stopped answering his calls and messages, and eventually he got the point. He only asks me to go out very rarely, and doesn't throw a fit when I (always) say no. I am a much happier and less stressed-out girl because of it.

Nissa
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#5
Old 05-27-2010, 04:19 AM

Talk to her about it before you end the friendship. She could be having difficulties right now and is dealing with them badly without even realizing it. See if you can save it before you scrap it. That being said, if it continues like this then you should scrap it. Once you dread talking to a friend the friendship can be kissed bye bye anyways.

Pixel Cafe
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#6
Old 05-27-2010, 01:54 PM

Hmm, I will try to just talk to her where she wont easily get offended. I really don't want our friendship to end!

Eirever
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#7
Old 05-30-2010, 11:35 PM

I have a friend right now whos going through similar problems. And I'll give you the same answer that I gave her. Ask her whats going on, and if she doesnt quit it you'll stop talking to her. Something is going on, and your friend isnt telling you. Thats my guess anyway.

Even if she's your friend, you need to also consider your happiness. If this continues it may not be best to be around her.

Clarise
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#8
Old 05-31-2010, 04:33 AM

Trust me, if you confront someone like that, they just get defensive and stay in denial. If you aren't willing to really work at this friendship, then move on. You could try giving her gentle reminders about things so that she doesn't get offended, though. Like if you are on AIM and your dad calls, tell her that you're still going to talk to her but you may be distracted for a few minutes. Or, tell her that she has a problem, but do it in a joking way--while laughing, say something like, "Lighten up, it's no big deal." But never do it in a serious tone, that's an invitation for an argument.

+lieforrenn
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#9
Old 05-31-2010, 05:43 AM

Honestly, you should just tell her flat out. Ignoring someone is being cruel to them as well as to yourself. If you tell her and you're sincere about it, at least you tried, right? I wouldn't worry too much if I were you, but it wouldn't hurt to try my advice. In any case, please do tell her. I'm sure it'll help. (:

LilDevlishGirl
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#10
Old 06-01-2010, 11:32 PM

I've actually hada similar situation, but it's with a friend I have at school. He always complains or gets upset when something doesn't go exactly the way he wants or I say something simple that jsut flat out doesn't make him happy.

I suggest trying to talk to the person and letting them know that it's bothering you and that she's taking it the wrong what of what you mean. Like when you said she assumed she was a bother and sign off. Try explaining that you had to talk to your dad or whatever came up. It sort of helped me, but then after that didn't work for me I decided to stop talking to him for a little while, especially after he started putting me in a frustrating or bad mood byhte way he acted.

Sometimes all you need is a break from it and then to talk to the person. That way you're in a good mood when oyu talk to the person and you're able ot settle things. Maybe there's a particular reason why they're being like that lately.

fuyumi_saito
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#11
Old 06-01-2010, 11:57 PM

You're still both really young, so I disagree with the people that said she needs to grow up. You're only young once neh?

I do think you should talk to her about it, tell her you like her and that her saying you are ignoring her or whatever is really hurting your feelings. Tell her how she makes you feel lately, and try asking her if something is going on in her life. You've known her a long time, and you say that this has begun happening lately, meaning it's something new. So I agree with the others that something else might going on. She could also be pushing the feelings she's getting from someone else..like feeling ignored or what not, onto you. Perhaps you are reminding her of someone else when you do that that is probably ten times worse than you.

If you are talking to her on IM, it would be polite for you to say "I have a call, I'm sorry can you hold on for a minute" and then that way she won't be mad. Just try to be considerate and I'm sure that'll help her not be bothered.

If you talk to her about how she's behaving lately, and continues, then tell her that she'll lose you as a friend if she doesn't stop behaving so toxicly. There is only so much you can put up with you know. You've known each other for a long time so I don't think this is the type of this where you should just block her and ignore her or whatever. I know a lot of people are just saying cut her lose, and that confrontation is bad..but I disagree. It really depends on how you confront her. If you bring it up and say this is what you are doing, and it's making me feel very upset lately. or whatever..you know be mature about it..then I think you should have no problems not being friends with her anymore if she continues to act that way.. I kinda rambled but I hope you got what I'm saying XD

Larxene
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#12
Old 06-02-2010, 12:21 AM

Try to talk to her and see if you can get her to listen to what you have to say and see if she'll explain why she's acting like this. There might be something going on in her life that she's building up anger inside her and she just explodes when it gathers over her limit.

Or she could just be going through some odd phase that I've seen younger folks online go through before. I used to talk to people from Gaia Online who were 12 - 14 and whenever I didn't reply back within five seconds after they said something to me, they got impatient and said I was ignoring them. They also had the attitude of not caring what was going on in my life, even though they asked "what's going on?" every day and just talked about their life.

It got so bad that I ended up blocking them on AIM and ignored them on Gaia Online. They stalked my posts for awhile, but thankfully they eventually left me alone. I kind of wish I tried harder, to see if there was anything bothering them offline.

 


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