Alright so last year, I nearly went into a depression but I didn't (yay) and now I'm perfectly great. :)

It's just that I keep looking back on how I felt and who hurt me and it wipes that smile off my face and makes me want to cry. It haunts my happiness. And I'm happy...I should smile a lot. I mean, come on. I should be on cloud 9 because I have everything I have ever wanted, literally (besides my first kiss).

So why am I STILL trying to smile? This makes me angry at myself because I'm constantly worrying and messing up.

...I know how you feel. I've been there, done that, and trust me I know that. In time things will get better. Just be you and embrace what you have now. I had to learn that out the hard way.

No matter how much you think about it, the past is never going to change. What you can change is your future. Sometimes when I start to feel really down or sad like that I make a list or think of all the good things that I currently have or fun things to be excited about that are coming up soon. I am sorry that someone has hurt you before though. : /

Darck: Thanks and I will.

Gamer: Thanks. :) That seems like a good thing to do to help me feel better.

You are welcome. Just trying to help. I hope it all works out for you. : )

Thank you. :)

Whatever happened a year ago, it's clear you're still recovering from it. Anger, grief, sadness, depression -- these haunt us for a long time. My first boyfriend and I were together for about three years, and it took me almost ten years to stop getting that hot, angry, upset feeling whenever I had to talk about him. My father passed away four years ago, and sometimes I still cry about it. Wounds don't always heal cleanly, but they do scar over eventually.

Ha haha true. I am told that I'm not forever broken, my heart's just full of scars that's waiting for someone to take them away. I see it now. And slowly by slowly, they're disappointing but they're going away. It's just...those small moments every so often. Lol.

Well that's good. And I can totally relate to that problem. People always said that I wasn't much of a fun person at all after my bf Brendan broke up with me. I tried to get him back, but he never wanted me back. But on the last day of school, he asked me out. I said, "No, you're too late." and he asked why and I told him "I spent three years trying to get you back and now you're too late. I've found someone who realized what they had long before you did."

He was thrown back and it was pretty pleasing to see it. Though he was a dear friend of mine, it kinda hurt to see him like that. :/ He decided that after all these years, he's loved me...now I'm happier with someone so much better. <3

Just keep your smile on and focus on the great things you have in life. You have Steven and you have so many family and friends who have your back. Please to waist it like I did. After a while, people finally decided to leave me alone and left me to fend for myself when it came to a heartbreak. Now I'm working my butt off trying to get them back in my life.

I hope everything works out for you and Steven. :)

Thanks. :)