"Why did the chicken cross the road?" is probably the most stupid joke ever, even before it was worn out.
My math teacher used this one on us:
"Knock-knock"
Who's there?
"Interupting cow"
Interupting c--
"MOO! Didn't I tell you it was an interupting cow?"
I love comedy central though.
The knock-knock banana joke is pretty annoying. Keeps going on as long as the person telling it wants it to. I was actually tempted to hurt the last person who told me that one after I already knew it. I didn't though just because I didn't want to get into trouble.
A mommy mole, a daddy mole, and a baby mole were just waking up for the morning.
The mommy mole goes to the opening of their burrow and says, "Wow, I smell pancakes!"
The daddy mole goes over to the opening and sniffs then says "Wow! I smell bacon!"
The baby mole curious and hungry, crawls up behind his parents and sniffs around. "I don't know what you're talking about. All I smell is Molasses."
Well there were two men walking in the desert, starving and thirsty. One says to the other
"Is that a bacon tree I see? Or just a mirage?"
"Yes, I think it is a bacon tree."
So the first man walks over to the bacon tree to get some bacon, but as he reaches for the tree he is shot. As he lies on the ground he yells to his friend.
"It's not a bacon tree! Its an AMBUSH!"
I don't know many actual jokes, I just make them out of whatever conversation I'm involved in though a friend and I were drinking last night and watching tv when this fell out of my mouth:
What's the difference between a baby and midget?
- A couple inches.
A mommy mole, a daddy mole, and a baby mole were just waking up for the morning.
The mommy mole goes to the opening of their burrow and says, "Wow, I smell pancakes!"
The daddy mole goes over to the opening and sniffs then says "Wow! I smell bacon!"
The baby mole curious and hungry, crawls up behind his parents and sniffs around. "I don't know what you're talking about. All I smell is Molasses."
Oh god, the only jokes I know are super terrible puns. Worse than Kleine Robotik's. But good lord, applause lady! That's one of my finest jokes and no one ever knows it.
Lapin, the joke is that the baby smells mole asses, as in the behinds of his parents, but molasses is often eaten with bacon and pancakes and breakfast etc. Puns!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.
She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Okay, so the people in Trinidad are called "Trids". Outside of a certain village in Trinidad, on top of a hill, there is a cave where a giant lives. Every day, the giant comes out of his cave, down the hill, and kicks one of the villagers.
Now, a rabbi had moved into the village to help build houses, and even though he'd lived there for years, the giant had never kicked him. Finally, the curious rabbi climbed up the hill and into the cave to question the giant. The giant looked at him, raised an eyebrow, and replied...
