Let's say you're married for 10+ years to a person you are madly in love with and think you'll be with for the rest of your life. You have a son who is handsome and has both brains and brawns. Your eldest child is a daughter who is the gorgeous homecoming queen who gets straight A's and is a total sweetheart. You have your dream house with a fantastic job.

One day, you come home from early from work due to a meeting you weren't planning to attend. When you get home, you see your best friend's car parked in the driveway. You get excited because you don't see her/him too often. You go inside your home pumped, but something is off.

You go into the beautiful, luxurious living room to see your best friend in the arms of your spouse - it's obvious they've been intimate.

So.. now what do you do?
To your spouse?
To your friend?
To your kids?
To yourself?

Haha, you make it seem like the spouse and the friend should be killed on sight. XD

I'd probably just have a nice, long chat with the spouse and the friend and find out what happened. There would definitely be arguments during and after that. I probably wouldn't speak to the friend for a long time and the spouse would get the cold shoulder for months. Hopefully, if the spouse never does it again there won't be any more problems. And the kids have nothing to do with it, so why would I talk to them? They'd find out there was something wrong after seeing the cold shoulder though, so I guess they'd find out eventually. But in the end, anything can be worked out, whether it ends badly or for the better.

I just gotta say though, something bad was bound to happen with a "perfect" cut-out family like that. :rofl:

Join in. =D

Originally Posted by calebsaur

Join in. =D

You have no idea how much I just majorly lol'd at that xD

To the Spouse: Dump his sorry ass. Any man that cheats on me isn't worth my time.

To The Best Friend: I know all that junk about friends being more inportant than guys and all that, but if my best friend had an affair with a guy I was seeing I couldn't be friends with that person as they obviously are not really my friends.

To My kids: Every day people split up, my kids are not young either, they can get over it. If I can do it anyone can.

To Me: Now this is the hard one. As I have neve even been in this situation I don't know how to answer it. I mean obviously I'd be angry beyond belief, and obviously I'd be extremely hurt. But you just have to deal with things. Get on with life.

Originally Posted by Vexatious~Venom

To the Spouse: Dump his sorry ass. Any man that cheats on me isn't worth my time.

To The Best Friend: I know all that junk about friends being more inportant than guys and all that, but if my best friend had an affair with a guy I was seeing I couldn't be friends with that person as they obviously are not really my friends.

To My kids: Every day people split up, my kids are not young either, they can get over it. If I can do it anyone can.

To Me: Now this is the hard one. As I have neve even been in this situation I don't know how to answer it. I mean obviously I'd be angry beyond belief, and obviously I'd be extremely hurt. But you just have to deal with things. Get on with life.

That, and all of that. I would be seriously pissed.

Sephaline - I was just thinking about how pissed I'd be xD
I dunno if i'd be able to talk to them about it for a while. I'd have trouble looking them in the eyes.

Calebsaur - ... LOL.

Vexatious - Yeah, I think I'd be that way about the situation too. Although you don't really know unless it actually happened.. which hopefully it won't.

I'd leave a guy like that, to be honest. If a guy cheats on his wife, after 10 years especially, then there must be something about the wife that he doesn't like, and he's had to deal with it for so long that he eventually gives in. I'm not saying either side is right or wrong, but sometimes couples find that they can't work it out together when they actually have to live together and raise kids. In a situation like that, yeah, it would be natural for the wife to get pissed, but afterwards it would be good to have a long serious talk, then go their seperate ways.

I know there's the kids to think about too, but knowing what I do from living with my parents, staying together just for the sake of the kids can be just as rough. They try to be friends, but that's as far as it goes. There's no intimacy or a general feeling of closeness between them, and its sad to see. Neither of them has ever cheated, but they had a pretty shaky start with only knowing each other for barely three months, plus the previous abusive relationship my mom was in and dad's tendency to be a control freak. Not a good mix at all for a marriage.

And, I just have to say this, but living a life as perfect as that would drive anyone insane. It's proven that everyone likes a little chaos in their life. Otherwise it would be boring as shit. So who knows. Maybe the wife turned out to be such a bland, uninteresting woman that the husband got sick of it. Again, it may be wrong, but it's just human nature. People have to live with it and move on.

Thankfully i've never had such a thing happen to me. In my strongest relationship in which we were engaged unfortunetly problems arose and we discussed them...after she ran out on me that is.
In that situation I know exactly what I would do. First of all I would stare blankly at them both. Then after a moment and after it is obvious that I am standing there (because in such situations thats not always the case) I would drop whatever I have in my hand and do one of two things.
#1 I would walk slowly out the door and stand in the driveway and stare at the sky, light myself a cigeratte and try to calm down and apraise the situation.
#2 run in and grab my friend by his collar and beat his face into a bloody pulp right next to my spouse. Spit on him, and then look up at my lover and say "I hope this is what you wanted, have fun with whats left of him"

Well, since my exhusband and I actually did have other boyfriends and girlfriends I would be okay with it. We loved each other, we both came first to each other and we got along great. We knew each other for over 10 years, trusted each other, and that is why we were okay with it. Pretty much the rule was that if I did not know about it, it was cheating. I honestly see nothing wrong with having other romantic partners as long as you know your own boundaries. For some people it doesn't work where as with others it works fine.

Originally Posted by Abduco

Let's say you're married for 10+ years to a person you are madly in love with and think you'll be with for the rest of your life. You have a son who is handsome and has both brains and brawns. Your eldest child is a daughter who is the gorgeous homecoming queen who gets straight A's and is a total sweetheart. You have your dream house with a fantastic job.

One day, you come home from early from work due to a meeting you weren't planning to attend. When you get home, you see your best friend's car parked in the driveway. You get excited because you don't see her/him too often. You go inside your home pumped, but something is off.

You go into the beautiful, luxurious living room to see your best friend in the arms of your spouse - it's obvious they've been intimate.

So.. now what do you do?
To your spouse?
To your friend?
To your kids?
To yourself?

1. Kick her butt.
2. Kick his butt.
3. It's not the children's fault. I wouldn't hurt them. They're my kids, too.
4. After I kick some butt, I'll probably go run a couple miles to burn off some of the steam.

Louis - Those are some really good points. You'd think s/he would've left long before that point though.

Taru - I love how in #1 you're calm, but violent in #2. I'd probably recommend the second though, so you won't risk getting charged for battery or something, haha.

Mystic - Oh, I forgot about open marriages. Guess that makes it seem a lot less worse ^^;

Izzy - lmaoo xD

lol That friend had better be packing her stuff up to get out of town as soon as she sees me walk in the front door. I am NOT known for being very forgiving. And as for the husband? I would probably kick his butt right out the front door. Or lock him up in the dog house that I would undoubtedly have and leave him there for a while. And then kick him out. The kids? They didn't do anything wrong. They'd be fine. They can do what they want about their father, but they're not in trouble.

As for myself? I'd probably just get super pissed and stay that way for a while, and just put more time and energy into whatever job I have. ...And then go the gym and physically beat the anger out of myself. ...And then I'd probably get sick from exhaustion and veg out at home for a while. I'd probably never talk to the "friend" or "husband" again and continue living my life completely guilt free.

I'd look at them, blink, then go into my room and start packing up my things, and take the kids and leave. I do not tolerate cheating, because it shows you do not truly love the person you've been with. So I don't plan on forgiving and being with someone who doesn't love me. I'd get a divorce, and start a custody agreement for the children. As for the friend, we would not be friends anymore. A true friend wouldn't even think about it. Mistakes happen, yes, but this isn't a mistake. The friend would obviously realize what they're doing, as well as the spouse.

I would pretty much turn-tail and get out of there before I blew up in either of their faces because, let's face it, that's no good for anyone. I'd walk/run/drive away until I couldn't move/felt far enough away and probably break down there. I'd actually thought that woman was my friend, and actually thought I was in love with that guy. I consider my options, and go back to find that the both of them are still there, and I flat out ask them "What the heck is wrong with you two?" Although in more... Vulgar language. It's obvious that I'm angry at them both. I pack my things up and leave for a hotel for the night, since the kids are at their friends'. I tell them what happened in the morning, and I leave it up to them to choose who they want to stay with. I filed for divorce, and went out of contact with my friend.

That is probably what would happen, but I think I'm too forgiving most of the time. >.> If they told a good enough lie, I might actually believe them, being the gullible girl I am.

Spouse - discuss the situation.

Friend - GET OUT.

Kids - Were they in the room? Did they see what happened? Depends what the discussion ends out to be on what would happen with the kids.

That's a pretty bad situation. .___.

The kids had no idea what was going on - I'm just meaning what you'd do as far as sharing them and telling them what happened.

I'd wake up from that awful dream..

#1: Dump him
#2: Dump the friend
#3: Take the kids
#4: Look for another man.

My fiance, even when we were engaged cheated on me. Yes, we had an open relationship but that doesn't mean he should date other girls and keep it a secret for months, that's considered cheating. The ONLY reason I put up with it multiple times was because all of his relationships were based on online romance only and he never cheated on me physically (aka offline). There's something about it being online that makes it easier but harder when it's offline.

A few months ago, he told me the REAL reason why he did those things. Apparently he had the misconception from somewhere that he MUST have relationship experience prior to marriage. He just couldn't believe that the first girl he dated ended up being his soul-mate, so he felt like he was inexperienced. You can bet that I told him that was a stupid misconception. He agreed and just said that instead he was the luckiest guy on Earth, where other men would spend years dating and being in failed relationships to find the "One", he found the "One" on the first try <33

Anyways, I tolerate cheating if it's online only and if it's usually before marriage. If it's physical cheating especially after marriage, there's no room for negotiations, I'd dump his sorry ass.

The first words out of my mouth would be something along the lines of "I hope there's a good reason for this" In general though since you're implying that they weren't just >.> I dunno acting a part in a play, he'd get dumped, the kids can choose, and I get the house! The friend can bite me as she'd no longer exsist in my world.

Honestly though, I suppose it would depend a bit, I am a forgiving person. If they play their cards right they both could probably worm their way back into my heart. It wouldn't be the same though andd they'd be walking on glass. Heaven and Hell help them both if it happend again. >.<

Originally Posted by Abduco

So.. now what do you do?
To your spouse?

To your friend?

To your kids?

To yourself?

I would totally flipshit..

To my spouse, I would flipshit some more, beat his face in, if I could, and probably end up with a few charges of manslaughter.

To my friend I wouldn't do anything. Someone who acts as your friend, but does something like this, doesn't deserve any thought.

The kids I would take with me and leave the house, telling them the truth, the discription of the situation makes me think they're too old to accept bullshit.

To myself... I don't really know.. ._.

To the spouse: I would tell him to start looking for another place to live and start packing his things cause he sure as hell ain't staying in MY house.

To the 'friend': I'd just beat the crap out of them and then kick them out. I expect crap like this from a boyfriend/spouse but NOT from my supposed friend.

To the kids: Well if their father wasn't around for awhile they'd notice so I'd have to tell them something. There's really nothing right to say to them so...I'd just tell them mommy and daddy need space for a long...long time.

To myself: I'd go out and have fun. Whether it's at a club dancing with random people or at a bookstore buying a new book to bury myself in. I've been through enough crappy relationships to know that getting all depressed and sad isn't a good thing to do and busying yourself until you're ready to deal with it is best. For me, anyways lol

I don't know if I would really react like that since I've never been cheated on (not that I know of anyways lol) and I hope it never happens but someone who's loyal to their partner is extremely hard to find nowadays.

DIVORCE HIM SO FAST! Yeah, that's what I'd do. And I'd get legal custodial rights of my kids. :)

I love reading all these responses =3

If it was me and my fiancee, I'd ask what was going on. It could be simply that he had to talk to them about something personal, the friend is the only one who he could talk to, and they had just shared a moment of understanding when I walked in. If it actually WAS an affair situation, I'd ask why he didn't tell me. Then, if I knew the friend was bi, I'd ask if I could join in.
We have an agreement that he can see other women. All I ask is that he tells me about it beforehand, sees if I can join in, stays disease free, and gets no one pregnant. It's not that he doesn't love me or that he doesn't want me. His sex drive is just too much for me to handle alone. He still shows me love and I get as much pleasure as I can handle.
Excuse me if my bluntness offended anyone.

I just have to say..
I totally love your response Amy.
I would never be able to even think of doing something like that seriously. ):