LonelyOtaku97 - I hope you've been able to unstress yourself and get back into school. While it's for the best I'm sorry things didn't work out. There's sane gentlemen out there luckily.
Serena - I don't know if this helps, but Mike's situation hits a little close to home. I've never had a problem when I didn't see my girlfriend because we were busy with school, work, or whatever; I'm a pretty self relient person. The first time she left out of state for two weeks I literally freaked out. Before even when we didn't see each other she was close by, like a safety net. With her gone even I needed her shouldn't be able to be there. In fact, I had a freaky medical issue and I really wished she was there.
Could he be feeling the same thing? I dunno. He's not being realistic, I wish I had something to say that might help. Hopefully somehow you can knock that into his head. You have years, and years to be together. Of course there's going to be times when you'll be far apart and distant.
Elysium - It's eight pages x3. I went all "Criminal Justice" with this. I've been working on a hundred paper paper dealing with gun control, and I lost eighty pages of it with a dead drive. I think it might be because of that loss... I miss you paper.
They had astronomical birth rates, yes. China has created one of the largest working generations of all modern time. Because the one child law has been in effect for so long China won't have a generation to support the current one and take over for the current one. Birthrate has a huge impact on a countries economy and there's is literally going to crumble.
Japan- as Serena said-is having the exact same problem. For China, Japan, and parts of Europe they have literally gone past the point of no return. There's going to be some sort of economic collapse even if they started having tons of children right now. It's too late to avoid all of the problems.
Me neither. After I graduate next year I'll have the income to support a child financially but I won't have the presense and time that's needed to nurture one.
@nonsense: Oh gawd. I would have a three week long panic attack if I lost 80 pages of work. I am so sorry that happened to you. XP
I'm slowly remembering all of this population mumbo jumbo from my World Geography class last year now that we're talking about it. I hadn't realized a declining population could destroy an economy like that, though. Makes sense when I think about it.
I think the whole world is going to have an economical collapse. We have been in this recession for so long with no sight of the other side that I think things are going to have to get much much worse for anything to begin to get better again.
I grew up with parents that were at least fifteen years older than other people of our generation, so to me, parents are supposed to be older, wiser, and ready/responsible enough to have children before they bring kids into this world. I'm not saying I want to be as old as my parents when I have kids, but I'm certainly not dreaming about it until I'm several years older than I am now.
Yup. I've heard the nuclear power bit before. As long as they properly dispose of the waste, then it could be a good alternative.
Elysium - Eh, it's alright x3. It's for one of my "I write papers because I'm bored" things. If it was for school, I would give up and cuddle in a hole with hot chocolate for three months.
The United States fertility rates been around 2.1 I believe. If we don't go lower we'll be fine.
China's is 1.73, which might not sound too bad but that's really, really bad by itself. In China for various cultural reasons males far more prefered than females. Because of the one child law females are often aborted. This in turn further eleminates the ability to recover, simply because there's not enough women. When you add that chances of having a female are %50 no matter what China does they're gone.
Japan's birthrate is 1.27. Basically, goodbye Japan. The problem is if there's no new generation to work, create revenue, support the economy, pay taxes, and take care of the old folks. Most European countries I believe have a birthrate under 1.5.
Yeah, the economy is actually have a huge effect on birthrates too. Kids are expensive. This recession always irks me. Out of all the simplistic and proven alternatives we're going with the equivalent of trying to fuck your way out of aids.
I agree. My mother didn't have me until she was... thirty-two? The "right" time to have kids varies from person to person I think.
Oh, dispose? Don't dispose of it! Recycle it, like the French and British do. The problem is we don't recycle because... I dunno, maybe we secretly hate mother earth? A little over 96% of the nuclear waste can be recycled and be re-used in nuclear power plants. And that's just now, probably higher down the road.
The thing is, there's already tons of nuclear waste sitting in New Mexico. We don't need to make any more waste, we simply recycle and use the nuclear waste we have now. It's could be the most environmentally friendly power source on the planet. Instead of making waste we are turning waste into something usable. Nuclear power is clean energy too! The only thing that comes out of those giant stacks are steam. Zero emission!
There's also new passive nuclear power plants, the French have them. Even if the reactor melts down nothing bad happens!
Yeah, nuclear powers super safe, super environmentally friendly, and not huge like solar fields or windmills. Plus it's proven and works! Plus I'd like for the United States to do something with all of that nuclear waste. It's just sitting there, why not use it?
@Nonsense: It is somewhat similar. Though Mike and I have been through this most of the 6 years we've been together. One of us has been away at school. Even though we're "used" to it, it's still not easy when either one of us needs the other one for some reason.
He just doesn't get it what I'm going through. I don't know what the hell he's going through. I wouldn't know, I have never smoked cigarettes. Never will.
Serena - There's tons of things you won't be to relate to directly, you leave too different lives, too different childhoods, different aspirations, dreams, and experiences. Yeah, he's just being lame. There's just no to know exactly what the other is going through at all time.
If only you could buy reality and inject him with it.
Sorry I poofed. I needed to hit the showers, and this was one of my "must do everything" nights. Had to take off nail polish, etc.
Anyway, all I can tell you is not to give up on school, Ser. It's both your dream and necessary for getting a job to support yourself. Mike will come to terms with this.
@nonsense: I can tell I will never be wanting for learning something if you're around.
I knew about the high female infanticide in China. It is disgusting. But what can outsiders do? They will destroy themselves, and perhaps they will finally learn from it.
Lol, I suppose you're referring to the huge bail outs that the government instated to try to get rid of the recession?
My mom was 39 when she had me. Mostly due to infertility issues. I wouldn't wait till I was that old if I could help it, but late 20s, early thirties, perhaps.
I love it, I love it. Makes some wonderful points. Hayek's one of my heroes <3. Along with the guys over at that Austrian School of economic thought. Anyways, Keynesianism is the huge thing at the moment (helped brew ideas like the stimulus, for example). I prefer to base my economic beliefs on facts than on happy thoughts and fleeting dreams.
*Steers away from discussion about economics* ANYWAYS.
Well it's good she had you! Yeah, that sounds a lot better than early twenties x3. Luckily teenage pregnances are at a all time low.
@Ser: You can. I have no doubt whatsoever in my mind that this shall pass.
@nonsense: I like it when people always have a good reply to something. I get enough of people just giving one or two word answers pretty quick. :)
I'll get back to you on the vid as soon as I finish it.
Teen pregnancies may be at a low, but I swear every one of my friends/people I know but one has either been pregnant or had a scare. Including the men. It drives me nuts.
I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I don't want to do anything anymore.
Facebook status message. Though it doesn't explain everything. Just upset atm. I hid it from pretty much 44 people on my list including him, his brothers, my family, and a few others.
Quote:
SPOILERX
hopefully tomorrow is a good day. today was long, stressful, tiring, and overwhelming.
Really sucks when you're having a bad day and yet you irk the one person who you turn to the most so much to the point they don't want to talk to you because to them, you were selfish and werent there for them when they needed you most. To the point they threaten to not see you until you finish school and have the degree.
I feel like lately, everything that f's up is all my fault, that I'm the only one who apparently has to make any effort. But yet, they don't. I get it, you're trying to quit smoking, but you don't need to be such a jerk about it and expect me to be a certain way to you while you're trying to quit, and not remember that I am stressed and in a new place and upset, and stressed, and the way I am. That sometimes I might not completely be 100% the way you expect me to be. I am a HUMAN being. I have EMOTIONS that make me be a certain way. I am a GRADUATE student. It is not all fun and fking games. Why the fk can't you fking realise it? I don't know exactly how you're going to act or what you're going through. Do I look like I have ever smoked a cigarette? So why the fk are you expecting me to know exactly how you're acting and what you're going through and for me to act a certain way the way you expect me.
Thanks for making me feel great tonight. Even though you said that you loved me before you signed off. Doesn't change the fact that I'm still hurt and overwhelmed and did you once ask if I was ok? No. Of course not. Why would you?
You should send him that, Ser. He's got no right to treat you like that. Did he honestly tell you that he would refuse to see you until you were done with graduate school? If he did, he's not even worth your time.
Either tell him to go shove himself into a hole and never come out, or tell him what you posted to facebook.
The way it went was;
It started that he admitted that he won't be able to quit smoking unless he does these two things
1. Cut off communication with me
2. Stay away from his dad
Then I kind of did my freaking out thing and tried my best to persuade to let him let me help. that next time he tries I won't do the same thing. So, for me to do that (because he claims he can do it without my help just fine) I had to ante something up.
I couldn't come close to the harshness he wanted (because he claimed it was a punishment if I f'd up again)
So, his idea was to say if I f'd up like I did today the next time he quit, We wouldn't see each other until I had my degree in hand. Right at that moment I broke down and was so tempted to tell him to f-off and break up with him.
How dare he.
Beforehand, I came up with something shorter termed (which is what he actually was hoping that I would have come up with something short term that would only affect me, but he felt he had no choice... -.-)
I came up with my not going to my triangle's district convention in october.
then I came up with when I come home for Christmas, stay with my mom.
But, apparently those weren't harsh enough in his mind.
It finally came to me coming around and agreeing that the next time he quit smoking, cut off communication with me for the day because I don't want us hurting each other.
He didn't trust me being able to not f'up like the past times. I don't trust myself being fully there considering how I NEVER meet his expectations when he's trying to quit smoking apparently because I guess it's too much for him to deal with me acting a certain way because Oh I dunno, I'm in school, busy, stressd, work shitty job. I guess he really doesn't give two shits about that. -.-
So yeah, I don't feel great. Yeah, he signed off his normal way saying he loved me and all that. But, it doesn't change the fact I got hurt, I had a bad day and he never asked me if I was feeling better, nor did he apologise for how he acted tonight.
So somehow your going to graduate school is responsible for his not being able to quit smoking? And somehow his lack of commitment to being able to quit for more than five hours is your fault?
So now you have to give up your Triangle meeting (something I imagine you were looking forward to) to please his royal highness? Is he worth it, Ser?
No, I don't because he didn't think it was harsh enough. He decided to have the not seeing me till spring 2014.
I ended up deciding it would be better off if we just do it his way and not communicate for the first day so neither of us end up hurting each other.
I think what it is is he is going through the nicotine withdrawl making him spaz out, and have these expectations I would be there for him to guess how he's doing and say the right things. He can't think rationally because of it and he doesn't rationally understand that I'm at school and work at the same time. I have things which stress me out. I am also a woman with pms hormones, I will act a certain way.
Well, today I snapped answered him because I was tired and stressed and such, and that's where this all started.
It seems like when he tries to quit, I have to not allow ANYTHING get me and be the perfect mommy figure to him. And he doesn't have to put forth any effort to let me know what is bothering him, I have to guess it all correct. And have to be there fo rhim BEFORE he needs me.
---------- Post added 09-21-2012 at 02:51 AM ----------
I hate to have to go like this, but, it's 3am and I have to be at work at 10.30 tomorrow. :(
Night.
It's okay, Ser. I have to sleep, too. But I'll leave this for ya to see in the morning.
Don't let him dictate your life, or that you should have a punishment (he is NOT your father) for something you clearly don't deserve. YES, you should be there for him when he's going through hell trying not to smoke anymore, but he doesn't have the right to treat you like that, or to act like that, no matter what the f is wrong with him.
He's like a child. Clearly. I haven't ever heard you tell me one thing that made me think he was mature. Tell him that you're both adults and you need to set some new boundaries of respect for this relationship to continue.
@Ely: Yeah your right we are heading in the right direction
@Nonsense: Your right it just seems that some guys enjoy causing trouble like they enjoy fighting or enjoy hurting you. My ex of 3 years left me for a virgin. -.-
Serena - Everything changes with time. Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse. I think Elysium said it really well, you need to talk with him. There needs to be mutual respect. He may not be intentionally disrespecting you but he's acting in ways that are selfish, unrealistic, and immature that are harmful to everyone.
Six years is a long time for a relationship to sort of "get one way" and it might be a little difficult at first to set some new boundries. Still, I hope he realizes that to have a healthy relationship he needs to sit back, think realistically, and act like an adult.
I hope things get better <3.
Elysium - Replies are nice. I see people who are always texting and it's like a one word back and forth conversation. Reminds me of cavemen, "grunt, grunt", "grunt", "grunt, grunt", "grunt". Well, that's a prettty pointless conversation... x3
It's really well done with so wonderful little easter eggs.
I'm just guessing that more younger people are having sex at younger ages? Plus counterceptives are way more avaliable to everyone nowadays. Could be something with that. Also there's this entire "you only live once" thing that's everywhere. Whenever I hear yolo (ew...) I think: "you only live once so crash and burn now?". So few people think of the possible consequences of their actions. We're a entitled culture and we only see what's in front of us and never think about the side effects. Nobody thinks ahead so everything becomes, "if it feels good do it." As soon as you try to say different they start calling you a hater. No sir, I just have functioning neurons.
LonelyOtaku97 - I'm sorry... I don't understand how someone can be so soulless. Even in a enviroment that is so conducive to such attitudes.