Have you told him that? Told him to leave you the hell alone? I know you don't want to hurt him or anything. You're much too nice for that, but still.

No, I haven't told him that. It's a combination of being a nice person and knowing that I was as responsible for the breakup as he was. I keep hoping he'll just go away on his own but he's more persistent than I'd ever guessed.

Part of me wants to know what he really wants out of any kind of relationship with me, and the other just wants him gone. So I do hold some of the responsibility for my own pain due to indecisiveness.

Hey guys. Sorry for being gone for so long. Life's been complicated to say the least.

I'm sorry. :( I would honestly just try to tell him gently. Tell him it hurts you to have any contact with him anymore.

Honestly I have been through this, and usually people get it eventually, but if he's not getting it, then you need to tell him. Try not answering next time, and maybe he'll get it.

I don't know much about the situation at hand but it sounds similar to things I've been through/am currently going through. It'd be nice if people would just drop things after one party says they no longer wish to be involved with the other. It'd save everyone a lot of time and avoid a few unnecessary headaches.

Thanks for the advice, saro. :) I have good friends that I can talk to irl, but none of them have experienced what I am/was going through, so it's worthless to me to talk to them about it. "Never ask advice from somebody who's never been there." as I always say. They just f#*@ up the advice and tell you to do stupid ass shit. So I appreciate you talking to me when I come on and mention this stuff. :yes:

@Vix: My ex whom I had a long distance relationship with for five months, who broke my heart keeps popping back into my life and doesn't get the hint that I want him gone. To make a long story short. ^^

I'm glad to see you back around a little bit, though. And I'm sorry it sounds like you've been having a hard time. :(

Yeah I'd tell him to fuck off.Sometimes life's better without certain people in it. I recently discovered that I'm more at peace when I keep people at arm's length. For example, someone who was supposed to be my best friend in the world kept exploding on me and taking all of his frustrations out on me, I eventually got sick of it and now I hardly speak to him. I sometimes wonder if I'm supposed to feel bad about it or miss him but when someone has sociopathic tendencies, apathy is usually one of them and causes me to not really give a shit about most things so I don't feel strongly either way about the situation.

Quick run down of my mess of a life: House is being foreclosed on and will be up for sale in less than three weeks. I've continued job hunting and hope that I'll find something. My friend has expressed her interest in being my roommate which would make things much easier. I stress out a lot and worry and fall into spirals of depression where it's a hassle to even get out of bed which is why I haven't been around. I'm a loner and when I'm down, I go to extremes to avoid people. Hope you've all been well though.

I've been through a lot of that, Vix. :( It's no good. No good at all. I like to keep people at arm's length, too, but I've made some really good and sweet friends this year, so I can't help but letting them a little closer. :)

I've been really exhausted because of how swiftly things change in life when you're starting college, etc. but I'm pretty good, actually.

On the bright side, it's finally summer, right? :D

I rarely let people get close to me because when I do, shit like this happens. I don't have the time or energy to be putting up with anyone's bullshit. I'm fucked up enough on my own, I don't need someone to make it worse, you know?

Ooooh college! Deetz, yo.

I know how that is. I'm a weird person. I'm pretty decent with friendships, but when it comes to relationships I can't help but feel that I fall like a two ton anvil when I love somebody and that they can't possibly return that feeling. I still believe in love and relationships, but I'm realllly careful with them now. Like I was crazy with them before. :sarcasm:

What's deetz? Lol. /is shot

Deetz as in details :) Must be exciting, no? I graduated...Two weeks ago, I think.

That's what I thought, but I didn't want to sound stupid ranting off everything only to find out I was wrong. :lol:

Well, I just finished my first full semester, and now I'm doing a few summer classes. I've got a crack-of-dawn yoga class, a world mythology class, and a private violin instructor who goes through the college that I have a session with once a week.

What degree did you get? Congrats on graduating. :D I'm sure you've heard that enough, though.

Oh man, I'd love to take that mythology class. I had one in high school and it was incredible.

Just a plain old English degree. Thanks, I don't feel any different which surprised me somehow. I thought I'd feel like I did something great but it's really not a big deal. I don't even know where I put my diploma. I think I threw it on the table downstairs when I got back from the ceremony. Though I did get to rock some sweet combat boots across the stage.

You gonna go for a masters, or a doctorate? without it it's hard to really do anything with an English degree I'm told.

Yeah, I can tell I'll enjoy the class. I also had one in high school which I adored because it was with my favorite teacher. This one is a little tiring because it lasts for 2 and a half hours, so you're ready to go home by the end of it, that's for sure.

I absolutely love English, but when I told my father that that's the degree path I wanted to take, he told me I was an idiot and that I needed to do something that makes money, so here I am just getting an associates with not so much as a clue as to what I'm going to do with my life career wise.

I've found that most of that kind of stuff is overrated. My high school graduation I just came home, kissed my new car, and chucked my diploma and shit somewhere, then never thought about it again.

@Saro: Even masters and PhDs are worthless in English for the most part.

It's hard to do anything with any kind of degree. The job market sucks, tuition increases every year, you'll be paying off loans for the next 15-30 years if not more. Getting an education basically fucks your life up. It's like having a baby. An invisible baby with an invisible babymomma that takes all your money.

I don't know if I'll go for anything more. I never wanted to go to school to begin with and I've had enough of it. I'm sick of the crap.

I've never known what I want to do. I don't really care as long as I make enough to pay my bills and go to concerts. I don't want material things. I don't care about buying a house, I don't care if I get married or not. It's all so trivial.

School does kinda f up your life. I'm gonna have to agree with that. You stress out non-stop over a degree that doesn't even guarantee you a jog anymore...no matter the field.

I was PISSED the other day when I found out that the university I'm going to be attending in a couple of years intends to raise tuition by 13% this fall. <.< Like...God...really? It's already $14,000 a semester. You do the f'in math.

That's about the same as it was were I went. They were pretty good about keeping rising costs towards the lower end of the spectrum but no matter what, they always go up and forget about the books. Those will RUIN you.

Book prices are shit.

I went to sell one of my books back to the store, it was completely new because I'd never used it. It was worth at least $90 and they offered me six bucks. I almost shot them before I walked away.

Yeah. I'd rather Ebay my books if I'm going to sell them. The schools already overcharge massively. I mean a minimum thirty percent markup is pretty much bull crap.

I wound up going with a company called Belltower Books. They gave me more than my school would have and took books that my school had refused to buy back for years.

Wow. Remind me of them if I ever ask who to sell mine to. lol.

Sure thing.

So how are you doing?

-stops lurking-