alright so i am currently in a relationship with my best friend. it's still a very young relationship, but we've been in love for about four or five years now. we're both 19, he's almost 20. i'm the type of person who refuses to stand in the way of anyone's dreams. my boyfriend's dream is to become a comic book artist. problem is the school he wants to go to is in Vermont. we live in Arizona...Yuma Arizona to be exact. he plans to go there next fall. i had told him that i cannot deal with a long distance relationship, so this means we'll have to break up before he leaves. it sucks knowing this when we've only been together for almost 3 months (this is the 4th time we try to date). it's really heart breaking because i've always thought we'd end up together and now i'm so sure he's the man i want to spend the rest of my life with and he wants to leave. so many things can change for those years and with all that distance.

so what i am asking the kind people of Mene are the following:
-am i wrong to not want to try the long distance thing?
-how can i cope with him leaving me again?
-is it even worth still being with him if we're just going to break up in about a year?

and so on...any advice would really help.
thank you

Long distance relationships are hard yes... but if you can wait the time before you get him back (with visits between quarters) you can let him have his dream and be with him as well ^^

I've been in a long distance relationship, and right now we're actually planning our wedding ^_^

Breaking up now doesn't mean you can't get back together later on. You might as well enjoy your time together now, maybe split up for a while, and eventually get back together. I personally don't recomend long distance relationships b/c w/o the sex, you'll both be more easily tempted.

@ Polar - =) That's what webcam and a mic is for ^^

@Poet: Oh goodnes! xD haha well neither of us have a webcam...let alone computers of our very own for that sort of thing.

well i do plan on getting back together with him... though my being worried always tends to think about the worse. (what if he finds someone else? what if he finds a job and thus stays over there? what if we just grow apart?) things like that

thank you for your input :]

I understand your worries, but you are right to let him go. What if you figure out a dream for yourself in ten years or something? I know you would not want him to hold you back. You certainly do not have to stop loving him, but it would not be a bad idea to think about dating other people after he leaves. I am sorry about the pain of him leaving, but do not think of it as him leaving YOU. He is going to pursue his dream and do what he feels is right for himself. Maybe that is a little selfish, but he will be a happier person for it. Maybe you will even figure out your dream while he is away.

thank you very much computosaurus. i thought of that too, i never wanted to be this time of girl who would throw it all away for just some boy. i wanted to be my own person and do my own artsy thing. here i am now considering to just go with him. *le sigh*

once again, thank you. i really hope i do find something

Lol yeah. Go figure he would post in here. That's my fiance up there. The Wandering Poet. : P :heart:
I too would recommend a long distance relationship, because I mean you guys are best friends and it's not like your relationship just started. Here is my advice.

If you don't have too many attachments in AZ, go with him. This is a change in your surroundings.
If you do have too many attachments in AZ to leave, you have the choice to try out a LDR or take a break. This is a change in your relationship.

Or if you want, you can think up some other (possibly creative) way to keep in touch and stay close and whatnot.
No matter what you do, it is a good idea to talk about your hopes, what you appreciate about the past and present, your fears, expectations, and overall thoughts on the matter. Do not be scared to spill out your heart, about what he means to you, how much it means for you to stay or go, what you are ok with changing and what you're not ok with changing. Make sure it's all out in the open so there are no surprises. It would be a good idea to get his side of it too. :yes:

Good luck! I hope you do something that makes the both of you happy. ^.^

so here's an update:

i had a few talks with him about this. he still plans on going and that's fine and dandy. we're going to try and make the best out of our relationship until he has to leave. he'll be around for our one year but then he'll have to leave a few weeks later. we are still going to break up before he leaves, but at least then we could still be best friends just like before. ^^ thank you for wishing us luck and for telling me what you think.