Originally Posted by ReineDeLaSeine14

I have Asperger's even though I'm REALLY smart so I got called retard A LOT. I do have a developmental and a psychiatric disability though.

Ditto. I was also autistic as a kid, and frankly I think I would have been better off if my mom hadn't freaked on it and taken me to specialists. They suggested she ought to put me into all kinds of extracurricular stuff so I'd learn to be social.

Now even tho people don't understand me most of the time I get lonely without people around me. I think I'd have been perfectly content in my own little world...

Shrinks and their labels annoy me, mostly. I fired my last one. He was younger than me and my worldviews freaked him out. That and he was actually prejudiced...here he is, a gay man, and my being transgendered seemed illogical to him.

Go figure.

Even before I got sick I was offered, or I guess my parents took the suggestion that I get disability. "Antisocial", "borderline schizophrenic"...you name it, I've had it bandied at me.

But 9/10ths of the people who have called me stupid or retarded were waaaay dumber than I ever have been.

I got shunted back and forth between the two types of 'special' classes. Sometimes they'd toss me in with the genius kids because I was levels above my peers, but most of those kids came from good backgrounds and didn't get along with me either. So then they'd put me in with the juvenile delinquents because I'd get into fights with people who talked down to me.

And so I DO get depression, but it's a topical depression. It's a depression born of loneliness as I wonder if anyone in the world can think the way I do or if I'm all alone....:(

I was capable of reading since I was about 3 1/2. Not just reading, reading adult level books. And yet my teacher gleefully told my mom "your child will NEVER learn to read". Umm....maybe that's because I couldn't bear the boredom of Dick& Jane when I was reading real books at home?

I remember one year transferring to a new school. The teacher figured me for trouble as I never bothered to crack open the science book.

I really enjoyed the discomfort on her face when she had to give me an award since my science level was above and beyond the stuff she'd been teaching. :D

That's wicked awesome LOL

I don't understand how he could be gay and not understand trans issues but then again...I know many people like that. Two of my exes are trans and one of them also is on the autism spectrum and was labeled with Borderline Personality like I was just because it was what fit our symptoms at the time. However, my therapist for the BPD thought that Asperger's could be cured and I was like "Dude...it doesn't work that way" but he didn't want to listen.

I learned how to read really early too...I'm really fluent with reading but I don't always understand what I read...I focus on the details and therefore tend to miss the big picture. It's even more prominent when I read in French because I can read the words but ask me what the hell the author meant and I can't tell you. My neck is severely unstable and therefore my brainstem is being compressed which is making my symptoms and learning difficulties harder to control and oddly enough, the surgeon I'm supposed to see (I have a rare genetic connective tissue disorder called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome) who can fix my neck due to the EDS believes he can cure some psychiatric disorders and views neurosurgery as an acceptable treatment for ASDs.

Strangely the diehard Aspie in me is worried my quirkiness that makes me Stephanie will be squashed just like my imagination has been squashed with my meds that conversely make me able to function as a "normal" person (ie: not be in the hospital).

I've kind of deviated from the original topic...sorry.

I completely agree, but I think a lot of it is cultural, too.

Where I'm from, you do not use words like "spaz" or "retard" as an insult in common usage unless you're a filthy bigot. You just don't. They are very strong and volatile words, equal to racial slurs like "nigger" or "chink", and they are avoided in just the same way (of course, you do still encounter those words coming from certain types of people, but generally it's the type of people that might as well tattoo a Swastika on their forehead and drag their knuckles on the ground behind them, it isn't at all socially acceptable.)

However, I have noticed that on online forums the connotations just aren't there, they seem to be commonly used and fairly mild insults, like calling someone an "idiot" or "fool", and it isn't intended as a genuine insult towards people with disabilities.
It was the same when I travelled to the US, and I frequently found perfectly nice people using those words when laughing at their friends/siblings, whereas the actual word still makes me recoil.

So maybe that's why I see it a lot on the online forums, as most of the people are from the US, and over there it isn't associated with bigotry and discrimination, it's just like calling someone "stupid"?
So I just try to keep that in mind when I see it on forums... although it does still make me feel really uncomfortable.

Cherish: Many people in the US are trying to steer away from that word...there are public service announcements denouncing gay as an insult...why don't they have them for retard too? I wonder if there will be an organization that will do that. Where you're from Cherish, are there insults you don't really see online?

I like that one PSA where the lesbian girl says, "I don't go 'oh, that's so acne-scarred teen boy' do I?"

America is an awful place for unPCness, oh yes. Ironically tho, as the media tries to fix up the offensiveness it's like it just gets worse from being forced to keep a polite face in public. The more and more offensive behaviors are cracked down on, like smoking in public places and cops giving people talkings-to for gay-bullying or sexist stuff, the more hate crimes occur as these knuckleheads blame the groups they don't like for the rules.

I had a cousin that was mentally retarded. We found out that he had a brain tumor, but that was after he passed away. When I hear that word, I ask that they stop saying it. They say why? I just say that it reminds me of my cousin. they then say sorry and stop.

I have a sister who is permanently physically and mentally disabled.

But I don't wince at the word retard. Probably because it has been used so much in society. The same as saying that something is gay (meaning that it is stupid or hopeless), but I don't have anything against real gays (men who love the same gender).

I also read the word retard in the french way. As in someone who is slow.

It all depends in context.
Overall.. I am against being that rude to someone. Using the word 'retard', or any word for that matter, in a spiteful way.. It's just horrible. By putting someone down like that, even if they pretend that the word didn't affect them, it really changes how the world is. If you are that horrible to someone, or if you are that horrible talking about someone, then your nastyness will just spread and other people will feel the need to return the favour and be horrible back.

If everyone can just be nice, the world will be a better place. ^^

Originally Posted by alexandrakitty

Or "spaz"...

I just want to make a brief aside here- I'm talking specifically about the American usage of the word "retard". I'm glad you pointed this out, since it might be different in other countries, much like "spaz" is not / has never been a hurtful slang in America, but I'm told that in England it's a derogatory.

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Originally Posted by SceneRaverNeko

=___=" Who fucking cares about it or anything

...? Is there really a point to you coming into a serious conversation and being a little wannabe emo shit? Get out.

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Originally Posted by Aedmourne

Now you're getting bogged down in the terminology. If you choose to allow the word to have a hurtful meaning, then you give it the power, if you choose to shrug it off and make lite of it, then it ceases to hold the power to demean. Frankly I feel that too often we get so caught up in the attempt to save people's feelings that we fail to realize often times, they themselves are the one's allowing themselves to be hurt...on the other hand however, I can see where this would pose a legitimate problem with someone who is "Mentally Handicapped", because they more than likely will not understand that the difference in terminology. All too often we find ourselves so enveloped in the struggle to be "Politcally Correct" that we fail to really,effectively communicate.

Originally Posted by monstahh`

I hate political correctness.
Everyone is going to get offended by something. 50 years from now "mentally disabled" will be a bad word and they'll have come up with some other word to use to describe people who would now be called "mentally disabled."
It's a cycle and it will keep going as long as you give these words the "power" to offend. They are terms to label something. Retard many years ago was considered the "appropriate" way to describe someone with mental (/intellectual) difficulties.

Have you ever heard the phrase "fire retardant"? Root word: Retard.

Meaning:


Edit: I'd also like to note that I went to a "special education" school, and many of my classmates had severe impairments.

Originally Posted by Faulkner

Sticks and stones love,

It's and insult because it's insulting, if it wasn't people wouldn't use it to insult each other.

Yes? Well many words have this "power" to offend, and we've stopped many uses of these words in the past. Faggot. Nigger. Hoss. Oriental. Are they still used by the occasional bigoted fool? Yes, but society as a whole has determined that these phrases are derogatory and that people of a certain quality should no longer use them. That's the road I'd like to see "retard" go.

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Originally Posted by Cherish

I completely agree, but I think a lot of it is cultural, too.

Where I'm from, you do not use words like "spaz" or "retard" as an insult in common usage unless you're a filthy bigot. You just don't. They are very strong and volatile words, equal to racial slurs like "nigger" or "chink", and they are avoided in just the same way (of course, you do still encounter those words coming from certain types of people, but generally it's the type of people that might as well tattoo a Swastika on their forehead and drag their knuckles on the ground behind them, it isn't at all socially acceptable.)

However, I have noticed that on online forums the connotations just aren't there, they seem to be commonly used and fairly mild insults, like calling someone an "idiot" or "fool", and it isn't intended as a genuine insult towards people with disabilities.
It was the same when I travelled to the US, and I frequently found perfectly nice people using those words when laughing at their friends/siblings, whereas the actual word still makes me recoil.

So maybe that's why I see it a lot on the online forums, as most of the people are from the US, and over there it isn't associated with bigotry and discrimination, it's just like calling someone "stupid"?
So I just try to keep that in mind when I see it on forums... although it does still make me feel really uncomfortable.

This is exactly what I mean, thanks. Many Americans are trying to get away from the intolerance the rest of the world sees us for. As an outsider (Netherlands) sometimes I feel like I understand it a little better... but when it comes down to it, it's just a relatively small number of bigots who give the rest of America a bad name. Unfortunately, they all troll online, so the kinder, more reasonable voices become stifled.

Originally Posted by anaxilea

Yes? Well many words have this "power" to offend, and we've stopped many uses of these words in the past. Faggot. Nigger. Hoss. Oriental. Are they still used by the occasional bigoted fool? Yes, but society as a whole has determined that these phrases are derogatory and that people of a certain quality should no longer use them.

I don't know what Hoss means. But I'm not aware of Oriental being offensive? Here, we use the word all the time, it's even the name of an asian food brand.

And so.. When did Oriental become offensive?

Originally Posted by Explodey

Ditto. I was also autistic as a kid, and frankly I think I would have been better off if my mom hadn't freaked on it and taken me to specialists. They suggested she ought to put me into all kinds of extracurricular stuff so I'd learn to be social.

Now even tho people don't understand me most of the time I get lonely without people around me. I think I'd have been perfectly content in my own little world...

Shrinks and their labels annoy me, mostly. I fired my last one. He was younger than me and my worldviews freaked him out. That and he was actually prejudiced...here he is, a gay man, and my being transgendered seemed illogical to him.

Go figure.

Even before I got sick I was offered, or I guess my parents took the suggestion that I get disability. "Antisocial", "borderline schizophrenic"...you name it, I've had it bandied at me.

But 9/10ths of the people who have called me stupid or retarded were waaaay dumber than I ever have been.

I got shunted back and forth between the two types of 'special' classes. Sometimes they'd toss me in with the genius kids because I was levels above my peers, but most of those kids came from good backgrounds and didn't get along with me either. So then they'd put me in with the juvenile delinquents because I'd get into fights with people who talked down to me.

And so I DO get depression, but it's a topical depression. It's a depression born of loneliness as I wonder if anyone in the world can think the way I do or if I'm all alone....:(

I was capable of reading since I was about 3 1/2. Not just reading, reading adult level books. And yet my teacher gleefully told my mom "your child will NEVER learn to read". Umm....maybe that's because I couldn't bear the boredom of Dick& Jane when I was reading real books at home?

I remember one year transferring to a new school. The teacher figured me for trouble as I never bothered to crack open the science book.

I really enjoyed the discomfort on her face when she had to give me an award since my science level was above and beyond the stuff she'd been teaching. :D

Thank you both for sharing your stories! I'm ADD (only recently diagnosed) and as a kid, I was told I'd never succeed. It was hard being in Gifted and Talented while I was getting D's in all my other classes. Words, even grown-up words like "problem child", stung deeply, and they DID hurt the way I looked at myself.

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Originally Posted by Ashe

I don't know what Hoss means. But I'm not aware of Oriental being offensive? Here, we use the word all the time, it's even the name of an asian food brand.

And so.. When did Oriental become offensive?

It depends on your region... many Asian-Americans are offended by the term. Here's the explanation, pasted from Wiki.

Oriental
(Predominantly U.S., used elsewhere) Originally an acceptable term for referring to an Asian person and/or their ethnicity; now considered obsolete and mildly offensive due to its Euro-centric perspective which defined the world only in relation to Europe.

I really don't use the word in real life that often or in the online world.

I'm not going to say to much, because I can already tell I will offend the original poster and other members on here.

I can say this, I wouldn't liked to be called that word. One, I am neurologically different. I am not that word that seems to be disliked. It is used as a medical term unfortunately. >_<; Then again someone said that if that is offending, something else might be offending within the next years or so.

We can't stop usage of a word. The Black community tried to stop usage of the "N" word, but it hasn't worked out too well. The new generation is using it freely in rap songs. :-/ Hurt is hurt and the "N" word is a totally different topic and usage than the disliked word.

Anyways I'll add more to this later.

Ahh... I see.. kinda.

In Australia, I've never heard of asians being offended by the term oriental. My mother is asian, and she uses the word oriental alot. She might say something like "the colour of the curtains makes this room look nice and oriental" or something. And like I said, it's also the name of a food product, and it's most popular for it's advertisements featuring a child bragging that his mom makes oriental (he pronounces it as awry-and-toel) chicken every night. I was actually pretty convinced that it was an american product, so that's why I was confused. xD

The word is still used so..
I find it pretty odd that it's found offensive. I just can't really understand it, even with that definition that you provided. Oh well >_<

Sorry for being somewhat off-topic, it was just very intriguing. ^^

I don't see the big issue myself. As the OP themselves stated, it's a word that is no longer relevant or used in the medical profession/decent circles to describe someone who's mentally handicapped, so why hang onto that outdated meaning?

I'm perfectly happy for the term retard to be reclassified to mean some idiot that makes you want to rap on their head to see if anyone's home.

If you're going to make a fuss about that kind of name calling, don't forget that a large amount of words that are used to imply that someone is dumb: idiot, moron, imbecile etc, were originally medical classifications for levels of mental disability.

Now that they are no longer used for that they're just used to decribe your common-or-garden dimwit, who has a perfectly functional brain, but just doesn't use it.

If I call someone a retard it's because they personally have done something stupid, not because I'm trying to offend all mentally handicapped people. PCness has gone way too far and a lot of people need to remove that bit of wood from their nether regions. But that's just my personal opinion *shrugs*

Originally Posted by Windbag

I don't see the big issue myself. As the OP themselves stated, it's a word that is no longer relevant or used in the medical profession/decent circles to describe someone who's mentally handicapped, so why hang onto that outdated meaning?

I'm perfectly happy for the term retard to be reclassified to mean some idiot that makes you want to rap on their head to see if anyone's home.

If you're going to make a fuss about that kind of name calling, don't forget that a large amount of words that are used to imply that someone is dumb: idiot, moron, imbecile etc, were originally medical classifications for levels of mental disability.

Now that they are no longer used for that they're just used to decribe your common-or-garden dimwit, who has a perfectly functional brain, but just doesn't use it.

If I call someone a retard it's because they personally have done something stupid, not because I'm trying to offend all mentally handicapped people. PCness has gone way too far and a lot of people need to remove that bit of wood from their nether regions. But that's just my personal opinion *shrugs*

The problem isn't because it's evolved to only be used as a slang; the problem is too many people still think it's okay to call someone who DOES have disabilities "retarded", and it's stopping that crucial step of losing its' original meaning from happening. And while it still is used as a derogatory towards people of disability, it will always be hurtful and continue the belief that they are below typically-developed individuals. Does that make sense?

Yes, it does make sense, but I doubt it will ever stop. Because there'll always be those real retards who will use the term for people who are mentally impaired.

Originally Posted by Windbag

Yes, it does make sense, but I doubt it will ever stop. Because there'll always be those real retards who will use the term for people who are mentally impaired.

Sad but true. Just as we'll never be able to stop dis-asters, famine, wars etc there will always be mean people, too.

It's a fight worth fighting for tho.

Is there really a point to you coming into a serious conversation and being a little wannabe emo shit? Get out.

little wannabe emo shit

emo shit

The word retard messes with you, yet this insult is perfectly acceptable? Explain why.

See, what you're asking us to do is cut out a word from our vocabulary, an insulting word. And I get that. But why is it that you don't find it hypocritical to use other insulting words against other people?

You're asking us to insult people using other words other than retard. Frankly, it wouldn't bug me much, as insulting words are everywhere. But apart from the fact that it is never going to happen whether it is politically correct or not, your message just went down the drain with me because, well, look at that. Your first approach to a poster was "emo shit". Don't you think that insult might affect that person? If you think it affects the poster, yet you did it anyway, it's highly hypocritical of you. If you think "retard" affects people, but "emo shit" doesn't, then I find that retarded, in the sense that is it clearly delaying the development or progress of your original idea.

I don't really take "retard" as an insult. It's a perfectly viable word. I don't tend to use the word towards people, but rather towards events or objects. Honestly, it's the same as using the word "idiot" or "moron". It's just that "retard" was much more recently introduced as slang.

If you take the vulgar meaning out of the word, then it's just a word. For instance, my dad and I are Mexican-American but we don't find the word "Beaner" offensive unless the person who uses it does so in an intentionally offensive way.

I'm going to have to second about NeuzaKC about your... choice of language... maybe affecting how your cause is percieved.

Granted, I am not mentally disabled, but I was called "retarded" a lot of times when I was in grade school. I never used it either, so let's push that out of the way. It's been used out of context plenty for a long time, and it saddens me about it's usage. I know it hurts a lot of people deeply, but I can't stand on the same "I relate with that" as a couple people in this thread.

Consider this however: the word retarded is a government term, and it's still used very much in context to it's intended effect. You can't just "delete" a word from the english language because it's being used in dual meanings. That just plain confuses people, especially those who speak english as a second language.

Originally Posted by Projectwolfie

Consider this however: the word retarded is a government term, and it's still used very much in context to it's intended effect. You can't just "delete" a word from the english language because it's being used in dual meanings. That just plain confuses people, especially those who speak english as a second language.

Yeah, this what I mean, and yes it is a government term.

On government papers, they use that disliked word to get "people" help. Sometimes they mislabel people with that disliked word. Which is so very wrong, use their real disability label or something.

Also wolfie has a point, you really can't just delete words from the English language. That reminds me of another word that has heavy heat. I think I'll make my own topic on that word if Menewsha is ready for the heated discussion in the debate section.

Originally Posted by NeuzaKC

The word retard messes with you, yet this insult is perfectly acceptable? Explain why.

See, what you're asking us to do is cut out a word from our vocabulary, an insulting word. And I get that. But why is it that you don't find it hypocritical to use other insulting words against other people?

You're asking us to insult people using other words other than retard. Frankly, it wouldn't bug me much, as insulting words are everywhere. But apart from the fact that it is never going to happen whether it is politically correct or not, your message just went down the drain with me because, well, look at that. Your first approach to a poster was "emo shit". Don't you think that insult might affect that person? If you think it affects the poster, yet you did it anyway, it's highly hypocritical of you. If you think "retard" affects people, but "emo shit" doesn't, then I find that retarded, in the sense that is it clearly delaying the development or progress of your original idea.

(I'm simply adding on to and rephrasing in my own words some of what you are saying, not directing this at you.)

I do agree, that was completely hypocritical.
While I do feel that Neko's post was unneeded, it's still her opinion, and she should be allowed to post it because it wasn't overtly offensive. She doesn't care and doesn't understand why others do either. It's not like she was saying, "you're retarded for caring about this." :?

Hm, so any other insulting words are okay, as long as it's not retard? That seems...wrong.
While I do feel most words only have as much power as you give them as a society, words are innately powerful on some level, especially to the less confident. The mentally disabled aren't the only victims in this world. "Emo" kids get picked on ALL the time.

Substitute "emo shit" with "retarded shit" or "gay shit".

Anaxilea, everyone slips up but I'm sitting here shaking my head at your choice of words in your own thread. Emo gets a lot of negative connotations too. I've had psychiatric issues and there's nothing I hate more than being called emo for it especially because I'm not in the emo scene of dress and style (although I do sometimes listen to that style of music). It's just as un-PC.

Originally Posted by monstahh`

(I'm simply adding on to and rephrasing in my own words some of what you are saying, not directing this at you.)

I do agree, that was completely hypocritical.
While I do feel that Neko's post was unneeded, it's still her opinion, and she should be allowed to post it because it wasn't overtly offensive. She doesn't care and doesn't understand why others do either. It's not like she was saying, "you're retarded for caring about this." :?

Hm, so any other insulting words are okay, as long as it's not retard? That seems...wrong.
While I do feel most words only have as much power as you give them as a society, words are innately powerful on some level, especially to the less confident. The mentally disabled aren't the only victims in this world. "Emo" kids get picked on ALL the time.

I moved eleven times in my lifetime, and once across the world, from the Netherlands to the US. I know what it's like to feel like you don't fit in, to want to hurt yourself, to be a REAL emo "emotional" kid who needs to get help. I DID get help, and I got over it. People like the one I was referring to, however, are more into the emo "scene", the art of LOOKING like your life is torn apart. Maybe because I'm a kid who went through the real issues, I've always hated that, and a glance at her username and her posts in other threads shows she's desperate for attention, trying to act too-cool-for-school, and not being true to herself. And that's why, in a little moment of irritation, I countered it. Did I feel bad for it later - before these reprimands were brought up? - yes. But it's not something I"m going to delete, because frankly, coming onto any subject where there's a serious, legitimate discussion going on and saying "meh who cares about it" is like a slap in the face to both sides of the argument, and is far too immature to understand the disideals she's trying to present herself as.

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Originally Posted by ReineDeLaSeine14

Substitute "emo shit" with "retarded shit" or "gay shit".

Anaxilea, everyone slips up but I'm sitting here shaking my head at your choice of words in your own thread. Emo gets a lot of negative connotations too. I've had psychiatric issues and there's nothing I hate more than being called emo for it especially because I'm not in the emo scene of dress and style (although I do sometimes listen to that style of music). It's just as un-PC.

See above post ^. Emo is "trendy" these days, and I hate that it takes the focus away from children who HAVE had psychiatric issues like us and need to get them treated. Look at her username. Check out her other posts. Does that seem like a real emo kid to you, or someone desperate for attention? And just like I point out above, it's not like I didn't regret putting it up. But I don't feel inclined to take it down, either.

I like how you're making this about how untrue to herself she may be rather than about how wrong you are. In a few words, that's probably the most invalid, and excuse me, pathetic argument I've ever encountered. It's not even an argument, more of an excuse for your poor behaviour. You don't like her? Shit, that's too bad. What you did is called having a poor attitude. But hey, it's not like you could have ignored the post, right? You're stereotyping her in exactly the same way you DON'T want retarded kids to be stereotyped. It's a shame, really, but whatever.

How do you know she doesn't have a legitimate problem though, and that picking on her isn't helping?
You should be ashamed of yourself judging a girl you probably barely know!
What if she DOES have legitimate problems?
Who are you to decide what constitutes as real?

I'd also like to point out, that "serious" as you think it is--it's still in GENERAL DISCUSSION not in the debate forum.

Originally Posted by General (Dictionary.com)

not limited to one class, field, product, service, etc.; miscellaneous: the general public; general science.

Oh, and my point still remains--it's hypocritical as shit to be against a word that might insult someone and yet be all BLAH BLAH /LABELS THEM AND INSULTS THEM to someone else.

Yeah, you can read her posts, you can see what she says...But do you really KNOW her? No.