Asher still didn't understand how that could make him useful to Shouki. He didn't do anything to make things better other than making him happy. While Asher was glad that he did that for Shouki he didn't think it was enough to justify he was useful. It just meant that he didn't do something wrong, to him. "I won't say it..." Asher said which he would keep that promise, but he knew he would think it. He couldn't stop himself from doing it even if he wanted to. "Then what am I to think?" He asked looking up at Shouki with big green eyes. "I can't lie to myself..."

Shouki being happy is a lot of doing in his mind. He..hasn't been happy in a long time to say the least. He was getting to the point where he didn't actually think he could be happy...or really anything. He was just going through the motions of daily life which is good enough to survive, but not good enough to actually live a life. "You wouldn't be lying to yourself. To help someone, to be useful, doesn't mean you have to do something physical. Support isn't physical. And sometimes just being there can help. And...sometimes....that's all you can do...or all that they'll let you do..." Shouki just nuzzles into him a bit.

"I...I guess that true.." He said as he kind of looked of into the distance. He didn't understand it and he didn't feel like he was being useful to anyone. Even if Shouki said it wasn't something that had to be physical. He didn't feel like he had done anything to be considered as useful. "I'm not sure if I feel like I'm useful, but...I'll believe you...That I'm somewhat useful." He said looking down to smile at Shouki.

Shouki kind of drapes himself over Asher., nuzzling into him. "Good deal. And I love you." Yep, hes going to repeat that a lot. He just leans up/down/whatever and kisses Asher. "Cause you're useful to me at least. I'm happy now thanks to you. And not just going through the motions of living, you know?" He doesn't know if he's explaining it right, but it's the only way he can think of to explain it. He just smiles and wags his tail...before he starts purring and kisses Asher again.

Asher kind of hugs Shouki burring his face into his chest after he kisses him. He loves Shouki too, but he still doesn't completely understand everything about him being useful in someway. He was going to try to understand that the best he could, but for now he didn't. "I'm happy...I'm happy that you are living now." He said though it might of sounded weird he didn't have anything else to say, he thought it made sense to him. He felt almost the same way though because he didn't really have much of a life before meeting Shouki. He just sat around the house like a zombie.

Shouki just purrs as Asher buries his face. And he just wraps himself around Asher pretty much. He doesn't need to understand how he's useful....he just needs to understand that he is useful. That's the most important part, and the part that Shouki wants him to understand the most. "So am I....and that you are with me.....Otherwise I'd still be a zombie except....not dead yet." He nuzzles into Asher's hair a bit "I love you." He says softly into Asher's hair.

(And now, for the song Bring Me to Life by Evanescense)

Asher stayed there letting Shouki wrap himself around him because he felt comfortable there. He didn't want to face anything head one right now. He just wanted to hide away so he didn't so anything wrong. He was going to try to understand what Shouki was telling him and he wanted to understand it. Yet, there was a part of him that didn't really believe it or more was frightened to think that he had a use. "I'm glad...That I co-could help you..." He didn't feel right saying it yet, because he still didn't feel like he deserved it. Though it was progress that he even spoke it. "I-I don't want you to be a zombie." He said snuggling into Shouki's chest a bit more. "I love you too." He said into his chest.

Shouki starts purring again as he wraps himself around Asher. He just loves being around Asher, including wrapping himself around the other. He nuzzles Asher a bit. "I'm glad that you did...and I like not being alone anymore. Double bonus." He nuzzles him a bit more, happily. "I don't want to eat brains either." A bit of a joke. Probably not that funny, but he couldn't resist it at the time. "Glad we both feel that way." And he kisses the parts of Asher he can get to. "You make me happy....O missed being happy..." He doesn't know when the last time he was happy...

Asher liked being that close to Shouki though his purring was loud in his ear, but he found it soothing. He didn't mind it. Asher closed his eyes relaxing a little bit against Shouki now. "I don't like being alone either. I like being with you." He said loud enough that Shouki would be able to hear him with his face buried in his chest. Asher kind of giggles a bit at Shouki's joke though it wasn't very loud, but just a silent one. Though Shouki might have felt it. "I'm glad your happy." Asher said kind of wrapping his arms around Shouki the best he could. Asher didn't really know what real happiness was because all he knew was what was around him. Which was things made to artificially make him happy. It didn't really compare to how he felt now with Shouki.

"Good deal. Cause I like being with you too." Shouki is in a nuzzling mood and nuzzles Asher some more. After his joke, he nibbles on Asher's ear a bit. "Braaaaaaains." He chuckles a bit. "Nomnomnom." Asher would be food if he was a zombie. Though if he still had his brain, he'd feel bad about eating Asher. But hopefully that'll never happen. "Are you happy?" He hopes so. It's no good if only he is happy. Something needs to change if that's the case.

Asher wiggled around when Shouki began to nibble on his ear and he laughed into his chest. "You can't have my brains." He laughed. It cheered Asher up a bit after everything they had been talking about before. Though when Shouki asked him if he was happy he lost the smile that had formed from the laughter before. "Of-Of course I am." He said a bit shocked at the question he was being asked. He thought he was happy at least. He was actually having fun and socializing with someone instead of being inside all the time. "How couldn't I be?" He asked softly.

Shouki makes an obviously fake unhappy noise as Asher wiggles. "But you're delicious!" He starts giggling a bit. Until the look on Asher's face. "I didn't mean anything about it....just wanted to make sure you were happy...people have faked being happy and all that around me...." He kind of nuzzles him a bit. "Well....I'm not around all the time...I mean, you're happy around me, but I don't know what goes on and if you're happy or not when I'm gone..." And maybe his happy times with Shouki don't outweigh the other times. When Shouki sin't around or when he makes Asher angry.

Asher turned his face away from Shouki to hide it from him. It was going to make something go wrong again and he just knew it. He didn't want that to happen. Not after he had just gotten Shouki back. He didn't want to lose him like he did last time over something so little. His happiness shouldn't have mattered that much. At least he didn't think so. Wasn't it good enough that he was far happier with Shouki now than other times? "It doesn't matter...I can get through it long enough to see you..." He said. With his face hidden from Shouki's so his expression wouldn't ruin anything.

Shouki just nuzzles Asher a bit more. "I just want you to be happy in general." Which is kind of funny since he's given up on his own happiness....until recently at least. And Asher wouldn't lose him. He'd come back. He gets too lonely otherwise. He doesn't really have anyone else to be around. So if there wasn't more to it, which there is obviously, he'd still come back. "It matters to me....but it's alright I guess. We can fix the other times as we go so you can be happy all the time." He nuzzles Asher a bit more. "What type of candy do you want to try tomorrow?" Random topic change go!

"I'm happy..." Asher said though he didn't know about in general. He was happy to be with Shouki, to be around Shouki. Anything else wasn't really happy...It was just bearable. It could hardly be considered happy to him. After almost his whole life until just recently it was a endless cycle of it. Asher huddled up against Shouki, not really wanting to make Shouki fix it. He was doing enough as he was right now. He didn't want to make him do anything more than he already was. " You...You don't have to." In some sense he already was and he didn't need to try any harder. What he was doing not was good enough in Asher's mind. "What?" Asher said confused at the change in topic. He raised his head a bit to look at Shouki. "I-I don't know. What type of candy is good?" He asked since he knew he wasn't getting out of this.

Shouki's tail starts wagging as Asher says he's happy. That's the main thing he cares about. He just wraps himself around Asher as he huddles up against Shouki. "But I want to." He nuzzles Asher. "Don't know if I can do anything, but I want to try. I want you to be happy." He kisses Asher lightly. "Cause I love you." He thinks a bit on that last part. "All candy is good! But you don't like chocolate so I'll have to find something that doesn't have chocolate. That means you'll never like those peanut butter cups." He makes this horrified face. "But they're sooooo gooooood." He's going to halfway drool now. Excuse him while he does.

Asher didn't know why Shouki was so worried about him being happy. It confused him as to why he wanted that so badly. It wasn't anything bad that he wanted it; it just confused him as to why. Asher let Shouki huddle against him and even kiss him, but he was still confused. This was again one of those moments were he felt useless compared to Shouki. He didn't understand these things like he did and it upset him. Asher kind of jumped at the sudden change in Shouki's face. "I-I...." He was confused as to what Shouki was doing until he noticed he was kind of drool. Then he began to laugh at him.

Shouki just wants Asher to be happy. He loves him so now it is his goal to make Asher happy. Good luck to him on that one. He shakes his head a bit when he starts to hear Asher laugh. He kind of nudges him with his elbow. "Not funny! Those chocolate things are like the best thing in the universe! Including the ones my mom made! They are like better than the best thing you can think of right now!" Shouki is kind of flailing around right now. "It's the best sweet thing ever! You just haven't had it so you don't know!"

Asher continued to laugh at Shouki as he continues to do weird thing because of candy. Asher didn't understand why he was doing it, but it was entertaining and it was cheering him up. "I'm sure they are." Even though they did contain chocolate in them, but if Shouki was acting this way over them then there must be something good about them. Asher continued to laugh at his reaction unable to stop himself because of the odd behavior. Asher sat up and brushed away the little tears from his eyes from all the laughing. "You can bring me any type of candy you like, I don't care what it is." He knew so little about candy that he could hardly go about choosing a type.

"Stop laughing at me! They're delicious as hell except you'll never knoooooow! Cause you don't like chocolate. How can you not like chocolate? Chocolate is the most delicious thing ever next to things made from it." He ends up noming on Asher a bit making the actual nomnom noise. "And there is peanut butter. PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE! BEST CREATION EVER!" He's flailing again-excited. "I shall bring you hard candies. Many hard candies!" Like butterscotch and jaw breakers and whatever else he can find that is not chocolate.

Asher stopped his laughing for a moment afraid that he had done something wrong because of what Shouki was telling him. He didn't know how to react to it because it wasn't really his fault that he didn't like Chocolate. It just happened to be that way. If it made Shouki happy then he would eat, but he didn't think he could eat much. It took him a while to notice that Shouki was joking with him, but he still felt like he had done something wrong for not liking Chocolate like Shouki did. It just kind of smiles at Shouki as he flails about about the candy. "Okay.." He says with a little smile. He was somewhat glad it wasn't something with chocolate, but if Shouki would bring it he would try it.

"But they are really good. So I'll be pigging out on them if I ever get my hands on them. I shall have to clean my mouth out afterwards though..." Since Asher doesn't like the chocolate and Shouki likes kissing him. Solution found. "What about chocolate fudge? Does that fit into the do not like chocolate thing?" And different chocolates have different tastes. Maybe he's just eaten (and Shouki brought) sucky ones. He doesn't know what good chocolate it. He just knows what he likes. "Maybe I'll be able to get some peanut butter fudge...that's pretty good depending on who made it...." He starting to do the drool thing again.

Asher was confused at first, but then he smiled and even laughed a bit at it. He didn't like Chocolate, but he liked Shouki enough hat he would have dealt with it if he had to. "I've never had Chocolate fudge before...so I don't know." He was a little weary of any type of chocolate, but he would try it if Shouki brought it to him because it was only nice. He felt bad for already turning down the chocolate he had brought him earlier. He should have just ate it. Asher didn't know that may types of chocolate, but he knew that he didn't like what he had eaten. "Okay..." He didn't know what peanut butter fudge was like either, but he would try it if Shouki's reaction was like this to it.

Shouki just nuzzles him a bit. "I'll let you try some someday....but for tomorrow? PEANUT BUTTER FUDGE!" It doesn't bother him that Asher turned down the chocolate. If he doesn't like it, Shouki doesn't want to force him to eat it or anything. There are foods he doesn't like. He wouldn't want someone to force him to eat it. "Please tell me you know what peanut butter is at least?" He's doing the chibi eyes again. "Everyone knows peanut butter."

Asher let Shouki nuzzle against him and he gave him a little smile when he told him about the what he would bring for him. "Okay." He said with a little smile. He didn't really care what was brought because it was a gift from Shouki. Asher frowned a bit at the chibi eyes that Shouki was giving him, but once he realized the reason he was being given them he laughed. "Of course I know what peanut butter is." He laughed. He was sheltered, but he knew that. "And I do like peanut butter." He said to Shouki with a smile. He just hadn't expected Shouki to react that way, with the eyes and such.