I have a good many friends, and they often talk to me about their problems, or I talk to them about mine, and that has worked out very well for me.

The thing is, that despite having all of these wonderful friends to call on when I need help, or advice... I'm currently in a situation which none of them has really been through as far as I know.

I'm in my first long distance relationship, and while I love the girl to the point where it physically hurts to think about it, the separation is freaking killing me.

Now I'm not asking for advice about LDR's I've gotten plenty, it's just...

Is it so much to ask that even one of my friends who I can talk to in person, actually understand my situation? Is it selfish, or ungrateful that I wish any one of them did?

Why can't any of the people I can talk to here, know what it's like to be madly in love with someone they can't so much as hold hands with?

I don't think it's selfish to want to talk to someone who understands you, no. It would be selfish if someone made their friends feel bad about something they couldn't control, or act ungrateful for their friendship, but not to just want someone to identify with you.

And I guess that's one benefit of the internet... a wider pool of people with all sorts of different experiences, and a great thing about places like Menewsha where people are friendly and will talk about those experiences.

-huggles-
it's not selfish;
my first relationship was long distance, and some people didn't understand why I did that.
there's some things your friends won't always understand, but that's life ):

and that's what the internet is for =D
-gives you a cookie-

I know what you mean. I was 2000 miles apart from my ex. It cost us at least 1000 to meet each time we met. It took us 6 years to finally meet. It was to the point where we both would question if we were doing the right thing or if we should continue the relationship because of it. The distance seemed to really kill our relationship up until we met.

My friend at the time constantly made fun of me for it and it got annoying quick since she really didn't understand our relationship to begin with. It's not selfish to want to have someone to talk to and understand the situation. It makes it a bit easier to have someone you can relate to and talk to in person.

I used to know a couple of people who had dealt with this situation successfully, but neither of them talk to me anymore. One for good reason, and the other... well she moved out to be with her guy. lol.

I just need someone who's actually been there to look me in the eye and tell me that it's going to work, and I'll feel better.

I miss her like crazy, and it's... I'm not used to this. :(

I know that kinda sounds dumb, but it's true.

*pets Saro* There, there.

*sad face* It hurts Vix. It hurts bad.

Give me a little bit and I'll be back. We can trade screen names or something and we can talk, okay? *hugs*

I'm afraid I have to sleep soon. :/ Pm me though and we can chat another time okay? Thank you. :)

I know how that feels...but with different problems of my own of course. It's not selfish. I know it's hard having a problem that none of your friends understand, or try to empathize with. It makes me feel alone and embarrassed for my problem, when friends shrug it off and change the subject without even listening. Just because they can't relate and don't want to talk about it.

I'm glad it seems that some others here understand though. <3

sarofset: Hehe... *was madly in love with someone in an LDR* I know how you feel... =) I know it hurts, and I know that craving feeling the second they go offline.

The girl I was dating on the internet, became my wife on May 12th this year =) so it can work and it will be worth it.

It hurts more after you meet for the first time (after going home)... but it's all the more worth it. I know a few long distance relationships, one which they haven't even met for 4 years+... and they're going strong ^^ so don't lose heart okay? Every second of pain waiting will be worth it.

If you ever need someone who understands long distance relationships, you can always PM me or my wife strange_dreams_512

>.>" I hope all that makes sense and answers everything you needed to hear.

Thank you Poet. :)

I've been talking to a few friends on here, and facebook and it's feeling a little better. I just wish that I knew someone who I could talk to in person who would understand.

I have an auditory problem that makes communication... more effective, in person.

More effective how?

Also just curious... but how far are they? Honestly the one who would understand the best would be them right?

She is about twenty four hours of driving away from me. Neither of us can really afford a plain ticket either.

And more effective because my brain understands it.

Imagine that your brain placed the same level of importance on every sound you hear. You can't really hold one voice above the din in a crowd, you sometimes can't remember something which was said to you four minutes ago. When reading you can sometimes not remember something you've just read.

But, when you see someone, you know exactly how they're feeling, whether they are sick, even if they don't know it yet themselves.

That is how my brain works. Not being able to see someone makes things harder even than it does for normal people.

Oooh.. I see what you mean... I have that memory problem with things I just said myself >.< but I can tell when something is bothering my wife before she does...

Have you tried video chatting? Or do neither of you have webcams?

We do, but she has no privacy where she lives. Texting works, and occasionally a telephone call, when no one is around.

I only have to wait until mid august though. Hopefully I'll be fine until then, it's just difficult.

Well... meeting her will be worth it =) that is what you're doing in august right? o.o

Why no privacy? The computer in the middle of the living room or something like that?

(Sorry for slow replies, auto refresh is being mean.

In august she is coming here. :)

And the lack of privacy is probably not something she'd like me to explain. But the computer may as well be in the living room yes.

Well it's good to know you two should have a chance to meet ^^ I wish you luck. If you need to talk or vent about anything PM me or ping me ^.^

I understand you wanting to protect her privacy, and a living room type setting is quite hard to do webcam in...

Thank you very much. :)

Good to know she's visiting. You two really seem to like each other. ^^ Best of luck with that!

Eh..the whole privacy thing is a killer too. I had the same problem. Heck, I couldn't even call him that often until I moved out because my mom would freak out about me calling this "internet guy". I rarely could cam with him either since my mom would take my cam and hide it from me.

Just hang in there!

Thank you mystic. :)

It's always nice to know that someone understands.

You're welcome. :)

If you want to talk I'm open to talk as well. Feel free to PM me or what not.

Originally Posted by sarofset

Imagine that your brain placed the same level of importance on every sound you hear. You can't really hold one voice above the din in a crowd, you sometimes can't remember something which was said to you four minutes ago. When reading you can sometimes not remember something you've just read.

But, when you see someone, you know exactly how they're feeling, whether they are sick, even if they don't know it yet themselves.

I am the same way!!

Originally Posted by sarofset

The thing is, that despite having all of these wonderful friends to call on when I need help, or advice... I'm currently in a situation which none of them has really been through as far as I know.

Felt like that plenty of times too! They can help in many situations, but don't always have the same experiences. o: That is when I started going online for help. Albeit, it does really help to have in person interaction. Remember that there is a person behind each of these avatars ^_^

Originally Posted by sarofset

I used to know a couple of people who had dealt with this situation successfully, but neither of them talk to me anymore. One for good reason, and the other... well she moved out to be with her guy. lol.

I hope you don't mean me as the girl who doesn't talk to you anymore OTL

Originally Posted by sarofset

Why can't any of the people I can talk to here, know what it's like to be madly in love with someone they can't so much as hold hands with?

*raises hand* Know itttt~ o: Have lived it too. Cried myself to sleep a lot. Used my biggest teddy bear as a pillow, a companion, every night, as my "kaze bear". And it started out that way before we were dating, during, and a bit while we were engaged. But... we were engaged. And we are married now. And it's not even about changing our "status" with each other, our relationship has grown over the years because we've let it. And a part of me thinks that we wouldn't have gotten quite as close as we did if instead of meeting online, we had met in school together, or at church, at the movies, etc. Part of me thinks that it opened doors for us that actually allowed us to open up to each other more... for the better, I'd like to think. And while yes, there were many times when I hurt deeply from my love for him, every drop of desire, every moment of longing for him... I felt it amplified into happiness when I finally held him close. I think it's very exciting for you to be meeting this August. Whatever happens during that time is up to you, and do not weep too heavily... the time is coming soon. ^___^

I can relate to this.
Mind you, when I was in the position you're in right now, it was a bit different. It hadn't started as a long distance thing, but the issue was all the same.

A lot of people think it's silly and pointless to try. I had a hard time discussing it with anyone, but I even had some of the few I talked with tell me I was delusional and tried to sway me into bringing his loyalty into question.


It is definitely far from selfish to want someone you can confide in who, more than just wants to understand, but actually 100% has been there and knows nearly exactly what you're going through and the emotional battles you're fighting.
And as some of the people have said, that is exactly what the internet is for. lol

That's where I find a lot of my comfort. There's no judgment through the internet, it never gets leaked into your personal life, and there's a broader variety of people and experiences. Making threads like this can be extremely helpful, I hope you found someone you can confide in. n.n