:hug: It seems you've gotten a lot of good support here in the thread. So I won't beat a dead horse by repeating the things that have been said. I hope you're feeling better HIM :) I've seen you post around Mene, I think you seem pretty darned awesome, but that's just how I feel about cha'.

:hug::hug::hug::hug: Smoootherring yoouuu. Lol sorry :P

Been feeling sick alot recently whenever I eat or drink anything it results in feeling sick and stomache pains.

Don't know what's up with me at the moment I just feel like crying all the time

I doubt that I'm in the right job or doing the right thing taking driving lessons, I don't even know if staying where I am is a good idea I don't know what to do anymore I just feel like dissapearing and not letting anyone find me.

I have a mental illness and tend to get left out of things too, hon. =]

So if you ever need someone to talk to, just send me a message.
I know what it feels like, and you definitely can have more than your share of down days..
but you have to remember that those days have to end, and that you'll be back to a good one again soon after.

Anyway, about your last post~
no one wants you to disappear, ever. So just don't disappear, ever. Rant your heart out until you feel better. n_n
I'm willing to listen.

Given up on driving lessons because I feel like I can't do it because mum puts me under so much pressure to do well and she does it at work but she doesn't see that she's doing it and what it's doing to me. If anyone tries to say anything to her she starts getting upset and making me feel worse.

Feeling really down at the moment, felling more like I don't fit in or belong and feeling really lonely. I just want to escape to somewhere anywhere else.

Aww HIM *hugs* Don't feel down! Even if you're lonely, and you think you don't fit in ... It'll pass, things will change and there's always people who think you're awesome right here on Mene who support you and want to see you doing well.

disappearing will not solve anything, there will always be people who will be jerks to you because your diffident, its their loss. If anything you should be strong and deal with your situation as best as you can, if you want to talk feel free to send me a PM some time.

I relate.
I feel like everyone has a group
like white people go with whites
black for black/latina
latina for latina/black

and I'm "white" (mostly) and I am not accepted sometimes being a loner sucks but at least I don't have to "follow" anyone or kiss anyones ass.

I just want this chunk of me cut out so i can live a normal happy life.

Well, I can honestly say I know how you feel!! No matter how hard I try, there never seems to be a place for me!! And even though you have a stressful job, at least you have one at all!! I'm killing myself trying to find ANYTHING!!!

But really though, as far as feeling like there's no where to turn, and nowhere to belong, I really do know exactly what you mean!! I feel like my friends are just there to pity me, and make themselves feel better, and that even my own family doesn't like me... I'm the huge failure in the family!! I don't know how much of this is true, it may all be just paranoia!! And ya know what, it may be that way for you too!! It's hard telling. But if you do want to chat sometime, I'm available!! I'm a great listener, and I'll try to help out however I can!!

It may feel like it sometimes... but you really aren't alone. It may not be real personal, but there's always at least /someone/ on here willing to listen and try to help!! Everyone has a place here!! :)

Thankyou all for all the kind words and support you've given.

I'm going to try and make 2012 a better year for myself

I'm sure you can succeed HIM! *cheers on*

those who use you, for what you have, are not worth it to be called friends.
there are people who love you, we all have someone that loves us.
dont give up on anything, and dont change for another person.
if they cant accept you for who you are, its their problem.
if you need a friend, add me if you want.
even a friend that is far away, can support you with simple words.

Attempting to be possative has failed miserably. I don't know what to do with myself, I just really hate myself.

Mum suggested that I go on holiday with my friend this year but I can just see myself getting left in the hotel because I still have really down days and I make myself sick either by not eating or by binge eating.

I just feel like giving up like I can't do anything right

Every Darkness Has Light, Every Yen has a yang, those who use you now, are being used by their so-called friend or they will be in the future. You just have to think about finding other friends, friends even though they could be net friends, sometimes they are the best.

I understand a bit of what you are going through, I'm not totally sure, but, what I do know is that you shouldn't leave. If you leave, who will have a great avatar such as yours? A rockin username like yours? And who can be you? Only you can be you, you're special and lots of us on menewsha care about, even if we do not fully know you.

That is why we are here, to get to know you more, and then we can all be friends. You can't do everything right, I can't. I can't drop arguments because I am stubborn, I have a problem with flirting with almost everyone I talk to and I never noticed before. Its all a piece of a puzzle, just waiting for the puzzle to be fixed.

At the moment I wonder why I'm even alive still, I just feel like there's no point in my existance

There is always a reason to stay alive, you could be making yourself smile or another. You could be trying to figure out your dream/s or...maybe you're out there to help others? Um there could be a million reasons to live. I live for my siblings and family. I also live to dream (daydream or sleeping at night) I've learned to control mine to my will almost.

Doesn't seem to be a reason for me.

I admit I haven't had many interactions with you HIM_ROCK: but you seem like an intelligent and great person from what I've read of your posts on Menewsha.

I have had moments in my life when I wonder about the purpose of my existence, and it's hard to find especially when you're feeling depressed, particularly when you have legitimate reasons for being depressed. What I've done to overcome such feelings is to find a purpose, have a good think about what I want from life, for you it might be to get your drivers licence and a different job possibly?

From what I've read in this particular thread, it sounds like your friends and some family members are and have been letting you down, in regards to emotional support, and that this along with your diagnosed mental illness has caused you to feel depressed. Like others have said, ditch the friends who don't treat you the way you deserve to be treated, which is with respect.

It's good that you saw your doctor about your anti-depressants and hopefully they'll help. If they don't, you could see the doctor again and ask what other options for treatment there are, these might be a different medication or some sort of therapy.

Remember, Menewshans care about you and I believe there must be someone in your real life that feels the way we do.

take care of yourself HIM.

Everything I do seems to go wrong

Soon there will be a calling, I want to be a painter. Even though you can't make a living off it.

I'm not good with people or anything else