I recently got a new boyfriend and I like him a lot.
But I've noticed something.
When he's around certain other girls he will stop holding my hand to hug them; which I'm fine with...but then he will ignore me. He will kinda be flirtatious with them and stuff and it bothers me a bit.
I'm debating whether or not I should ask him about it. Help?

He might still be getting used to the idea of being with you. Or he might be a guy who doesn't like to show any kind of affection in public around his friends? I would ask him if I were you...if it's making you upset, just ask him why?

I would definitely ask about it. Don't make the mistake of being with a guy who keeps you a secret.

Rule number one to have a successful relationship: Talk about what is bothering you!!!

Yeah, that rule can cause people to go to far... constantly moaning(almost used another word there) about this and that. What is important to share are the things like this, things that make you start to question whether or not he is into you. Ask him if he doesn't like to hold hands in front of others, if he doesn't it isn't so bad, right? Ask him if the hugging is so important, if it is it isn't so bad. Ask him if he means to ignore you or if you just feel like that. Be sure to not be accusing, use open-ended questions to allow him to feel comfortable answering them.

Above all, remember that a relationship not working out is not the end of the world. Your happiness and comfort is the most important. I've been with the man I'm married to for 6 years (love him more than life) and I've noticed that a relationship doesn't work if both people aren't completely concerned/focused on the other person's comfort level.

Listen to Vix. I have been the secret. You don't want to be that, trust me.

Well, I agree that you should ask him about it. BUT. I have a guy friend, he's been my friend for YEARS now. XD And he's very sweet, very kind to us (his female friends) and is always like that even when he's dating. He holds our hands, hugs us, cuddles us, and it's totally innocent, he's just very very friendly and cuddly. XD So, don't fret because you might just be dating one of those guys. As for how that goes with ignoring you, he might just be showing his friends that it's ok to talk to him even though he's dating you. Just giving a heads up because it might not be a big deal and you shouldn't worry until you ask him.

A little add on to Neuza's post. If your boyfriend does happen to be one of those "sweet" guys, please spend some time with yourself and decide whether or not you can deal with that. Jealousy is an ugly thing, and it's not often a girl can deal with her man being "sweet" to other girls without having some anxiety about it.

Don't let yourself get swept under the bus.

Oh jeesh. Men like that, I swear....

That's obviously who is he and it'll probably take a lot to change that. But it would be a wise thing to talk to him about it and let him know how it makes you feel. As your boyfriend, he has a right to know how you feel about something. Talk to him about it before you get hurt, is all I can really give as far as advise. But if I were you, I'd wait for the right time to talk to him about it. Maybe make it a bit obvious how you feel when he's being flirty with other girls. You're his girlfriend. The only flirting he should be doing is with you.

ElysiumFate: I'm not his secret though. Everyone knows we are dating...

Despite the truth of that, if the boy refuses to do things like hold your hands and such around his friends, it can be a form of a secret. They know you're dating, but they don't know he cares for you. It's still a secret.

Like everyone's said, though. He could just be like that and not mean anything by it.

This really depends on the person.
If it makes you uncomfortable, then talk to him about it.
It's up to him to respond appropriately and up to you how you want to take it.

I'd ask him about it! COMMUNICATION IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ALL RELATIONSHIPS D:

be polite and kind about it, and ask him to not ignore you when you guys are around other girls.
Flirting can be both ways really, it depends on the comfort levels of a couple, and if you aren't okay with it, let him know, though don't take it as being necessarily a sign of intrest in other girls. I know plenty of couples with boyfriends/fiances who will mildly flirt with other people, but have no interest and are solely devote to their girlfriends/fiances.

and He could be getting used to it, still, not sure how to act, and ignores the problem completly, and it comes of as ignoring you.

Either way, there's no way to know for sure unless you talk to him about it!

Originally Posted by LoveAria

I recently got a new boyfriend and I like him a lot.
But I've noticed something.
When he's around certain other girls he will stop holding my hand to hug them; which I'm fine with...but then he will ignore me. He will kinda be flirtatious with them and stuff and it bothers me a bit.
I'm debating whether or not I should ask him about it. Help?

If I were you, I'd never ask him about it cuz he's automatically gonna deny it, so just start holding him again, then maybe you can start flirting with guys and see how he likes it, unless he wants a 3some and he's bi. Then it doesn't really work in your favor, but whatevs.

I would just ask him straightaway why he would be doing that. I wouldn't take that as a good sign. Was he giving them a quick hug or a hug that he would usually give to you, like, as a girlfriend? Because if he is distributing those kinds of hugs, then I would really take that as a red flag. Tell him how it makes you feel when you see him do that in front of you. Magik is right, the only person he should be flirting with should be you. Or else why would he date you anyway? (Unless he is a player. So much for my paranoid self _ _ll)

Originally Posted by Drexy4ever

Then maybe you can start flirting with guys and see how he likes it, unless he wants a 3some and he's bi. Then it doesn't really work in your favor, but whatevs.

Um, no, Drexy. That is not a good solution to this problem.

You should be straightforward and just ask him why he's doing it. It really depends on the personality of the guy you're dating. If he's one of those "cuddly" people, you can probably assume he's just gotten used to doing it.