I'm posting everything I write here. Most things will be some what edited. My blog will contain more spur of the moment and raw materials. I'm also used to writing more graphic and adult things. I read some where that this is a pg-13 site. So I will try to tone things down and perhaps post the more adult things in my blog(makes mental note to ask a mod if its allowed)

If something i write crosses the line, please let me know, I'll remove it. I would prefer to not get in trouble :)

Critique is welcomed, but make it productive; no hitting below the belt so to speak. If you do not like something please tell me why, I like to defend my writing.
If you like something please tell me why. The more positive feedback I get the more motivated I become and the closer I become to bettering my craft.

If I start a short story or novel each entry will have the title and chapter on it so following the story should be easy, I probably wont have more then one or two going on at a time any ways.

Well, I think that's all, thank you.
Syryn,.....

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Geisha

Crimson tears.
Scarlet lips.
A woman with a secret,
hidden in her chest.
A stone mask,
glass for eyes.
She never lets them in.
Her castle cold and dry.
The secret buried deep.
The screams are never heard.
At last eternal peace and sleep.
No one will ever know,
the secrets that she keeps.



My House

Upon this rotted, beaten hill.
A house old as stone, sits here still.
If one would venture, a bit closer.
The sight seen, would be a tad bolder.
Every wooden beam, majestically placed.
All the arcs and window panes, evenly spaced.
Even though, it's clothed in dust and mold.
This angelic house, is still a site to behold.



Asylum

A darkened room
pity to spare
No one hears
my silent screams
Only richly adorned eyes
seem to stare
How could this be?
I was once one of them,
the richly adorned
Now I sit in filth and waste
a pit, no light or laughter heard
except that which
breeds disaster and curse
It was only a small thing
which led me here
surely,
this Hell
isn't the cure.


Angels and Demons

Crystal tears, Ember bright
Cascade around me, holding on tight.
A glance towards Heaven
Affirms my belief.
There is no place for me
Where Angels sing.

Thunder echos, Rain drops grim,
Hold me down, buried in sin.
A gaze towards Hell
Affirms my belief.
There is no place for me
Where Demons sing.


Babblings

sometimes i wonder if
the actions we take now
hurt us in the future
if i walked on an ant today
would that ant be missed by its loved ones
and later
many years from now
would they come to my house
and step on me
sometimes i wonder if
love is real and powerful
like everyone says
able to cure the sick
save the damned
a white dove
and tonic a savior
sometimes i wonder if
death is just death
of the body a hollowed
out shell i live in
what if we're all just sleeping
if i woke up would i die
or would i be living
kissed by a prince
saved from a man made existence
sometimes i wonder if
what i see is really there
perhaps a mirror image
what i want to see
afraid of the truth
blinded by inbred fate
an antelope unaware of
the lioness behind
sometimes i wonder if
im thinking at all
or am i just babbling
about things i haven't
done yet...





(side note Babblings is supposed to be written that way with no caps, no punctuations, basically set up as a ramble or babbling rant.)

I love all of them :)
You should write me one, something maybe along the lines of eating all my cheesecake! This is a challenge, Make a poem about you maliciously stealing all my cheesecake! oh and then add a part about my retaliation of eating all your pink starburst :) Love ya!

Angels and Demons

Crystal tears, Ember bright
Cascade around me, holding on tight.
A glance towards Heaven
Affirms my belief.
There is no place for me
Where Angels sing.

Thunder echos, Rain drops grim,
Hold me down, buried in sin.
A gaze towards Hell
Affirms my belief.
There is no place for me
Where Demons sing.

First off i love them all but something kinda pulled me to this one more...

did you try and make them both similar to each other or was it just something that happened...
the bolded parts are great but the one about the Thunder echos, Raindrops grim....
sounds like it comes from a movie... where a lonely demon walks the world with rain falling...
i think it would have been original if it would have been something like this...

Thunder echos, Clouds a Grim
Hold me down, and bury our sins

But thats just my opinion... Like i said I love it so much i would want you to continue posting your wonderful poems

Originally Posted by mynanaflirts

First off i love them all but something kinda pulled me to this one more...

did you try and make them both similar to each other or was it just something that happened...
the bolded parts are great but the one about the Thunder echos, Raindrops grim....
sounds like it comes from a movie... where a lonely demon walks the world with rain falling...
i think it would have been original if it would have been something like this...



But thats just my opinion... Like i said I love it so much i would want you to continue posting your wonderful poems

Yes, they were supposed to be mirrored imaged in a way. Your "fix" is nice but its not an "our" its a single person, looking toward heaven and hell and finding a place in neither. As for it sounding similar to something, I wrote these many many years ago, and they are actually posted on a few different sites. Something may spark the idea for a poem, but I would never take word for word of a verse. This one was actually about me, back when I was having trouble facing a few darker things, and wondering if I would have been seen as clean or unclean in the eyes of a higher power.

Thank you for the comments though. It helps a lot. please feel free to come back once I have a chance to post more stuff

<3 Syryn

Okay that makes sense in that case .. please don't change them. I really thought by the way it was written it was about more than one so hence i though of the change or the opinion. but other than that it is great and i can't wait to read more.

Originally Posted by Syryn

----------
Babblings

sometimes i wonder if
the actions we take now
hurt us in the future
if i walked on an ant today
would that ant be missed by its loved ones
and later
many years from now
would they come to my house
and step on me
sometimes i wonder if
love is real and powerful
like everyone says
able to cure the sick
save the damned
a white dove
and tonic a savior
sometimes i wonder if
death is just death
of the body a hollowed
out shell i live in
what if we're all just sleeping
if i woke up would i die
or would i be living
kissed by a prince
saved from a man made existence
sometimes i wonder if
what i see is really there
perhaps a mirror image
what i want to see
afraid of the truth
blinded by inbred fate
an antelope unaware of
the lioness behind
sometimes i wonder if
im thinking at all
or am i just babbling
about things i haven't
done yet...





(side note Babblings is supposed to be written that way with no caps, no punctuations, basically set up as a ramble or babbling rant.)

I have to say I enjoyed all of them. But this one spoke to me I like that it flows as a ramble of mixed up thoughts, yet even without punctuation or caps t flows nicely . I must admit the part about

what if we're all just sleeping
if i woke up would i die
or would i be living
kissed by a prince
saved from a man made existence

'
spoke to me the most as I myself have had that very thought. It was refreshing to see someone else had thought it as well.. made me feel like less of a basketcase..lol Over all I can not find a single thing to correct in this writing as it is pure and from the heart it seems so I applaud you in your talent and for pulling at my emotions so well. Keep up the good work.

Thank you mynanaflirts for the comment and input. If reading it was confusing for you and you thought it was 2 people not one, how could i perhaps write it to show clearer it was still the same person?


Ivvy! Thank you for your beautiful words as well. I'm glad you could relate to that one. It's one of my favorites because it is some what unconventionally written and has proved to myself how far along I've come from writing poems in my notebook in 5th grade lol. Any who thank you again for the encouragement I really appreciate it :)

<3 Syryn

No problem. :) I like free form writing. I have books of it where my thoughts just run together. Its like therapy for me. And It was nice to see someone with a similar idea. :)

you can't... thats why its such a mystery poem... it gives a reader a though and fills out when they start asking question... Like a hard puzzle that you can't seem to finish because its hard but when you finally finish it you realize it was just one peice... get it?... or maybe i am wrong lol