"Sounds good." Kae hurried off in the direction Coulson had gone, hoping to catch up to him.

Tony had grabbed one of his emergency bottles Scotch, slumping down to sit on the floor as he drank.

Coulson had gone into the kitchen to sit down at the table. New information for Stark or not, Phil still had paperwork to do.

Elaine, on the other hand, made her way down to the workshop. She paused when the keypad appeared.

"Claude?" she asked. "Did Tony ever assign me a passcode?"

"I believe he did. Would you like me to give it to you?"

"Nope, just put it straight into the keypad," Elaine replied. She grinned a bit when the code was accepted and the door opened. "Tony?"

"Agent Coulson?" Kae asked, moving over to the table slowly. She still had a few cookies around from her last baking spat, and she put the plate in front of him. "Mind if I sit with you?"

Tony looked over at her and swore. "Jarvis, lock everyone else out," he said.

"Of course, sir."

"What is it, Elaine?" Tony shifted his grip on the bottle of scotch.

"Of course, Miss King," Coulson replied mildly, glancing at her before turning his attention back to his paperwork. "Is there something I can help you with?"

"Scotch this early in the day is never a good idea, first off," Elaine said, going to take the bottle from him. She managed to wrangle it away and handed it off to Dummy, and the bot rolled away. "No matter what you think, alcohol this early is just bad. And second..." She debated making up an excuse, before just saying it. "It's not normal for Phil to corner anyone. Is something wrong?"

"I noticed you cornered Tony earlier," Kae said, sitting across from him. "That's not normal for you, Agent. What was so important?"

Tony snorted. "Wrong, she asks," he muttered, not making a real attempt to get his scotch back yet. He still had three or four bottles scattered around anyway. "Go look at the paper on the desk."

Coulson looked at Kae for a moment, and then went back to the paperwork.

"I'm afraid that's Stark's business, Miss King," he replied. "It's his choice whether to divulge that information."

Elaine looked at Tony for a moment before going to skim through the paper.

"...Tony, this is a paternity test," she said. She was starting to feel a sense of foreboding.

"I'm also his cousin, which means that I'm next in line to clean up if he breaks down for a few days, which it looks like he might." Kae leaned forward. "Besides, I'll find out eventually. If I know now, I can help him."

"No shit," Tony muttered, not even bothering to get up. He just fished in a cabinet behind him for a while until he got a new bottle of scotch, breaking the seal and taking a drink.

"I'm sorry, Miss King, but I'm not authorized to give the information to anyone but Stark," Coulson replied in that same infuriatingly even tone. He did give her a look, however, that said there might be a way around the 'authorization.'

"This is a paternity test," Elaine said again, really reading the file this time. "With your name on it." She looked over and sighed. "Dummy, take that one from him, too." The bot just paused, arm swinging from towards Elaine to towards Tony and back. "Claudia, make Dummy take the bottle from Tony, it's not good for Tony to have that much alcohol." Once the bot (reluctantly) reached to take the bottle away, Elaine went back to reading the file. "Darcy Lewis... I've heard that name before. Where have I heard that name before?"

"Authorization, huh?" Kae floated a cup of coffee over to herself, too lazy to get up and get it herself. "Can we just ignore that for a minute and I'll make you apple turnovers for the rest of your life?"

"She's an undergrad student, works with Jane Foster, Thor's girlfriend." Tony grabbed his scotch and kept it away from Dummy. "Dummy, no, bad, you don't try and take Papa's scotch, you know that by now. Dummy, that's not the bottle, why don't you go make a smoothie?"

Coulson was quiet for a moment.

"You drive a hard bargain, Miss King," he said.

"As if this needed to be more complicated," Elaine commented. Getting up, she went over and took the bottle from him herself. "Tony, no, no more scotch. Or vodka or whatever alcohol you have hidden down here. Alcohol doesn't help." She paused. "Although smoothies are a good idea, if it's possible to get one that's straight-up strawberry-bannana."

"I'll add on quarterly pastries of your choosing," Kae wheedled. "I won't even make you tell me, just write it down or something."

Tony grabbed for his scotch, glowering at her. "I don't know, I'm not responsible for what goes in the fridge, you'll have to ask Jarvis."

"We have the necessary ingredients," Jarvis confirmed. Dummy was already whirring away making smoothies for them.

Coulson looked at her, considering, before going back to his work with a hint of a smile. "The Director felt that Mr. Stark was ready for certain information regarding his immediate family," he finally said.

"Good," Elaine said. "Dummy! Make two of them, so Tony gets one too." She pulled the scotch bottle out of reach as Tony made a grab for it. "No, bad Stark, no scotch for you." She set the bottle down, out of reach. "Now talk to me. Use me as a sounding board if you have to." She paused. "Or I go get Steve and have him be all earnest and adorable and helpful until you crack."

"That means he has other immediate family," Kae said quietly. "What, sibling he never knew about? Half-sibling?"

Tony glared at her. "I don't talk about this stuff," he said simply, ignoring the noise of the blender in the background. "And if you go to get Steve, I will lock you both out."

"I've told you what I can," Coulson said. "Really, the rest is up to Tony to tell."

"Claudia will get us back in," Elaine said. "You made her that way yourself. Now talk. I totally get that you're freaked out. You have every right to be freaked out. Now tell me why."

"Not a sibling then." Kae tilted her head to the side before she blinked. "Oh, hell. Don't tell me Tony has a kid."

"What part of it needs explaining?" Tony asked, his eyes narrowed. "The part where I have a kid or the part where I'm a terrible parent or the part where I don't want kids?"

Coulson didn't reply, knowing full well that she would correctly interpret his silence as confirmation.

Elaine just looked at Tony.

"Yes," she replied. "One at a time, in small words easily understood by anyone who isn't a genius."

Kae sighed and shook her head. "Alright. I'll have a batch of apple turnovers ready for you tomorrow, Agent."

"I don't want kids. Doesn't really need more explaining than that." Tony shrugged. "And yet I have one. You really think I'd be happy about having an illegitimate daughter?"

"Thank you, Miss King," Coulson replied.

"First things first, then," Elaine said. She reached out and accepted the smoothie Dummy tried to hand her. When she took it, the bot rolled back and got the second one and tried to give it to Tony. "According to the file, Darcy is an adult. Not a child anymore. That implies that she's more than capable of making her own choices and taking care of herself. Now, ignoring all that... Why don't you want kids?"

"My pleasure." Kae didn't leave the table though, instead sitting there thinking things over. Since she hadn't seen Elaine yet she figured she was still talking to Tony, which was good.

Tony let out a snort. "Why would I want kids?" he shot back.

"I want kids," Elaine said simply. "It's not such a scary thought, if you really think about it. Kids give you the chance to send the best parts of yourself out into the world, they give you the chance to really, completely love someone. Now you give me a reason."

"Kids can be used against you. People can take them or hurt them or threaten them and you can't always be there in time. Besides, Stark men have a history of screwing up beyond belief in the kids department." Tony shrugged.

"Alright," Elaine said. "Valid points. Now go back to my point about Darcy being an adult. Add that on to the fact that she's friends with Jane Foster, who you said yourself was Thor's girlfriend. Call her looked-after and move on. What's the next reason?"

Tony shook his head. "It won't matter that she's an adult when someone goes after her," he said quietly. "Hell, people have gone after you and Kae, and all the public knows is that you spend a lot of time with us. If this got out, people would tear her apart."

"Who says it'll get out?" Elaine asked. "SHIELD has people for this, I think. It can be kept quiet. And both of those times something happened to Kae and I, the idiots didn't know we were connected to you all. I don't think the problem is quite as big as it seems." She paused for a moment. "That smoothie actually is good for you, you may as well drink it." She grinned. "Dummy made it with love, remember?"

"You're talking about the times things did happen to you. I'm talking about the times people tried." Tony shot her a look, took a sip of his smoothie, and made a face. "Gah, what is this? There's nothing in this. Dummy! You forgot the alcohol and wheatgrass!"