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Lexadis
(ο・㉨・&...
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06-13-2014, 12:17 AM
Whatever you chose, Good luck, cloud!
And poet, I couldn't recognize you under that avi! I was wondering who the stranger would be 
Good morning thread~
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The Wandering Poet
Captain Oblivious
☆☆☆ Penpal
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06-13-2014, 12:18 AM
happiness is a long road... sometimes all we can do is dip into our temporary joys.
my safe places have always been in video games.
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CloudDreamer
(◎_◎;)
☆Banned
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06-13-2014, 12:20 AM
Yeah, no joys here... AT ALL... -.-
I have no safe spaces what so ever... no matter where I turn, I'm being bombarded with drama and absolute stupidity... -.-
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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06-13-2014, 12:20 AM
Oh wow, I've only been there, like, a million and three-quarters times.
Did you know that it's one of the great things about pseudonymous forums, that the vast majority of them have no way of stopping a person from dropping an account and making up a new one? Of starting over and trying it again, but differently this time?
I can't even remember how many times I've quit a forum, dropped everything, disconnected from the internet, gotten bored a year later, and rejoined them all. I've even gone back and made friends with people I hated and who hated me, and they never even knew it was me. That actually felt good, and even knowing I was being sneaky but for a good reason made it fun.
Better than being bored and frustrated, anyway.
The great thing about the internet is that it will (most likely) be here when you get back, and you probably won't have missed out on much, if you really think about it.
Life is life, and the internet is just one thing in it. Just remember that you're more important than a pixelated representation of yourself, and you'll be fine.
I'll be back, I think I smell the cookies now. Alllllmost done.
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Lexadis
(ο・㉨・&...
Penpal
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06-13-2014, 12:21 AM
As much as I sound like a geek and nerd, I found studying helped me take my mind off while nothing else would
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CloudDreamer
(◎_◎;)
☆Banned
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06-13-2014, 12:23 AM
I have done that.... This is my second account.... But guess what... ALL THE DRAMA FOLLOWED ME TO THIS ACCOUNT.
I can NOT escape from it!!! No matter what I do... it always finds me and I CAN NOT GET AWAY FROM IT!!
SO no, that doesn't help, trying to get away from it all... NOTHING works...
I will not be fine. This is all my fault and everyone seems to LOVE telling me that... Apparently I'm ... you know what... it isn't worth it... all I know is that I am to blame and I should just learn to FREAKING keep my mouth shut and learn that I am the cause of all my problems and apparently I'm a horrible person who needs to learn to keep her stupid mouth shut... -.- ... End of story... -.-
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The Wandering Poet
Captain Oblivious
☆☆☆ Penpal
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06-13-2014, 12:23 AM
lex- is it that different from usual?
cloud- do you have any parks with small forests or anything?
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Lexadis
(ο・㉨・&...
Penpal
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06-13-2014, 12:26 AM
Poet, nope - I think I was familiar with your last avi. But.. I can't really remember what your last avi was  what was that about?
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CloudDreamer
(◎_◎;)
☆Banned
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06-13-2014, 12:26 AM
No... nothing... I live in the middle of nowhere, and right now I'm staying for the week... in the city... and it's hot and it just sucks. I want to go home but my ride isn't coming till tomorrow night. :/
Not that I would want to go outside at all... this weather sucks... No, I'm NOT going out in it and once the day cools down, the mosquitoes are out in full force and omg, they love to attack me... so I stay inside...
And I Don't drive, because I'm just the idiot who's terrified of driving, so I don't drive... so I'm stuck wherever I am...
I'm just a lazy fat person who needs to lose weight - and everyone tells me that... but I don't exercise enough and even when I do... I GAIN weight...
I'm just a failure at everything..
But what's the point in talking about any of this... it just comes back to bite me in the butt later because I need to learn to grow up and stop complaining so you know what... forget I EVER said anything... -.-
I'M JUST A FAILURE AT EVERYTHING... PLAIN AND SIMPLE... -.- END OF STORY... -.-
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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06-13-2014, 12:31 AM
I find that if drama always seems to find one, it is because one is allowing it to. It's a vicious circle, like punching a ball of tar and then getting the other hand stuck while trying to free the first hand.
Enjoying the company of others takes work on both sides, and each of us is responsible for it, but that doesn't mean anyone deserves to be blamed for it.
We're only (most of us, I suppose) human, we have feelings, and our feelings can move us in ways we don't like. Sometimes we can't help ourselves. But whatever you do, don't fall into the trap of attracting to yourself that which you loathe by allowing it to occupy your thoughts overmuch.
Just take a break, find something to occupy yourself with that has no drama associated with it, and it'll sort itself eventually.
If the water in the jar is muddy, no amount of shaking it will ever make it clear again. Put the jar down and allow yourself to be distracted a moment, and when you look back, what do you know, the water's clear, and the muck has settled.
Anyway, I think these cookies came out wonderfully, so I'll be leaving them here.
Enjoy, everyone, and I'll say hello again when I pass back by!
Oh, and there's nothing wrong with being a nerd these days, it's the new cool.
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Lexadis
(ο・㉨・&...
Penpal
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06-13-2014, 12:33 AM
Mention of cookies is makine me 
I'm off to school too! I wonder how today will be~
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CloudDreamer
(◎_◎;)
☆Banned
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06-13-2014, 12:34 AM
Well apparently I am to blame for it all... end of story and people have made that very clear.
And even when trying to hide and not bring attention to myself... it still found me. I DO NOT GO LOOKING FOR IT!! EVER!
I have taken a break... I come back and everything turns to hell... all over again... No matter what I do... online or off, drama finds me.. THERE IS NO ESCAPING IT!!
EVER EVER EVER... No escaping it what so ever... I try to, but even when I try not to go looking for it - like I Ever would - it hits me from all sides... I CAN NOT ESCAPE IT!! -.-
And honestly, the advice really isn't helping, it is just making it worse. I'm so tired of hearing advice... it's what I keep hearing, and honestly all I need is for someone to listen, but really... I can't find that on here... -.- People say they will, but then they turn on me... :/ I give up trying.
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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06-13-2014, 12:51 AM
Listening is the most difficult thing in the world.
If you really need to unwind it all, do feel free to PM me, and I promise I won't even try to counsel you, but be aware that it is a little silly to be upset by nobody wanting to listen.
Most of us seek out what is pleasant, and shun what reminds us of suffering. It's hard-wired into our very nature. I do realize that everyone wishes they could be heard and nobody wants to listen, and yes, it's frustrating as hell, but if all we ever do is bemoan our own butthurt, well, it just naturally seems to happen that people stop listening.
If you try turning it all around, like actively seeking to make other people's day, either by complimenting them, or even ... just listening, you'll see a difference in everything. The trick is to do it just to do it, and not to get something out of it. Then you actually get something out of it.
Not trying to advise, I just find it impossible to listen if I'm not saying something also.
Conversation is difficult when one talks and the other simply listens. Then it's just blogging.
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CloudDreamer
(◎_◎;)
☆Banned
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06-13-2014, 12:58 AM
Honestly, you don't know me. And it is so much more than just that... You do not know who I am, at all. -.- So please don't say that it's silly... Really. Please don't pass judgements on me before you even get to know me... -.-
Yeah, so I get that I should just shut up... -.- I do try to do that... I will go out of my way to try to make other people's days better.. even if it's at my expense.
I'm tired of people judging me before they even get to know me... and I am so over that... -.- But whatever... apparently what I say doesn't even matter... I'm a screw up, end of story...
but I'll just leave. Sorry that I disrupted you all.. :/ Good bye...
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The Wandering Poet
Captain Oblivious
☆☆☆ Penpal
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06-13-2014, 06:12 AM
It was a yan in space Lex.
Well cloud has anything good happened recently? Have you made anything new?
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Lexadis
(ο・㉨・&...
Penpal
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06-13-2014, 06:16 AM
Oh now I do remember!
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Ling
The Daydreamer
Penpal
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06-13-2014, 07:10 AM
I am honestly concerned for CloudDreamer given the lastest posts in this thread and I hope that CloudDreamer will PM me if comfortable to do so, I am willing to offer my PM box as a safe place to vent.
I am pretty good at keeping things to myself and it's easier to do so online because people can't read my expressions.
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CloudDreamer
(◎_◎;)
☆Banned
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06-13-2014, 12:54 PM
I'm not comfortable to do so because I've had people tell me the exact same thing and then turn on me and start treating me horribly... So I'm sorry, but that is not something I will do because I have a horrible time trusting people... -.- Because everyone says they won't but they all do turn on me in the end... Because I'm someone who apparently is a complete screw up no matter what I do... -.- So no. I will not. My trust has been betrayed MORE times than I can admit on this stupid site... no. I will NOT.
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Lexadis
(ο・㉨・&...
Penpal
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06-13-2014, 01:06 PM
*flops down on thread*
My day has been.. sleepy. I slept
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buzz
(-.-)zzZ
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06-14-2014, 02:04 AM
Hello guys I'm new, can I chat here?
VeraDark - just wanted to say that the things you post here are really wonderful, I've been reading through them :)
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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06-14-2014, 02:28 AM
Aww, it's nice of you to say it, but I'm just like anyone else, really.
At least I want to be...
I've learned though that one should never turn down appreciation, because you never know when you might get it again, so I'll make it even and appreciate you right back, is that fairsies?
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buzz
(-.-)zzZ
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06-14-2014, 02:55 AM
Thank you, you truly have a gift with words. I often find that people with disabilities happen to be very good with words. I look forward to reading more of your posts :)
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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06-14-2014, 03:02 AM
I prefer the term "mental" because I actually am mental, but I have a sense of humor about it.
I don't think of it as a disability, though my particular form of being mental qualifies as that where I live... I mean, I'm functional enough to make myself a sandwich, and I can climb stairs... I just sometimes can't do brain things correctly, for one reason or another.
Usually, I just tell people I was lost in thought, they look at me like I'm a nutter, and everyone moves on.
I could talk all about it, but it's not as interesting to me as what everyone else is saying.
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buzz
(-.-)zzZ
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06-14-2014, 03:05 AM
I prefer the term mental too but I didn't want to say it in case you were offended :O I have trouble doing brain things, I am physically fine but it's my brain that ruins things :(
I find it's better to have a sense of humour about mental illness otherwise it just gets very dark and depression... and we have enough of that as it is xD
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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06-14-2014, 03:23 AM
I try to channel it all through my writing.
And imagining how many ways a person or group of persons could have it so much worse than me really helps me keep it all in perspective, as well as providing a creative outlet, and good material to work with.
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