Quantum - oddly enough, while I'm afraid of falling, I've mostly adjusted to flying (except that the pressure change messes with my migraines). It scared the crap out of me the first few times, though.
I've always wanted to go to space, like really really badly. To be out there and see the stars clearly, the quiet void of space, oh yes please!!
Sometimes I think space is the only place where I can have time to think and not be pulled in a million different directions *sigh* I don't know if it's just me, but I've been way inside my head too much, and I'm being pulled all over the shop. I feel as if I'm spread out way too thin, and I don't know how much longer I can take it. I just need to get the FUCK (pardon my French) away from everything so I can reorder my thoughts and try to make sense of what's going on inside my head :/
I know that feeling, too, EP. I spend so much time lost in my own thoughts that I start to lose track of what's going on around me. And if too much is happening, I get so confused and tired and need to just pull away for awhile to reset. The worst is family get togethers with the in-laws or actually attending swedish class, because either way I have to stay hyper focused to have any hope of understanding what is going on for several hours at a time. Afterwards I just go crash and take a nap or need to not be disturbed by anyone at all for awhile.
Do you feel like butter spread over too much bread? (Sorry, couldn't help it)
@Sarahbelle: Yes I do actually ^^; It's more love, or the prospect thereof which is making my head hurt. It's now been two years since I ditched my abusive ex, and though part of me is as wary as all fuck of men (pardon my french again), I would LOVE to start something with someone again. And there is my problem. There are at least 2 guys (maybe 3), who I would jump at in a heartbeat if offered, but one of them is several years younger than me (not that that would make much of a difference if he loved me like I love him), and the other is a bit of a rolling stone, and a notorious love 'em and leave 'em type, so much so that he's been advised to cool off on relationships for the time being, because he's always jumping from one relationship to another without putting much meaning into each one. So he's put himself off the market for the time being, and in any case, I'm not sure if I could really be happy. But I've been holding a candle for him for 7 years, and he did tell me once a few years ago that if the fates had been kinder to us, we could've been together. Now, not so much *sigh*
EP, dang, we have a bit too much in common for comfort. Congrats on getting away from your abusive ex, not everyone does. So we're damaged, but also stronger for it, I think.
Good luck with your choice in guys, though. I can see how that could make your head spin, haha. I never had many options available to me unless I was already taken, and then it's like, where were you all before when I was lonely? T.T Silly boys.
I was lucky in being able to kick him out, rather than the other way around. He did sarcastically comment on having to be the one to leave when I broke up with him, to which I replied, "Uh, yeah?". HE moved in with ME. I wasn't about to pull up roots. Mean, to be sure, but that was how it was. And yes, I am damaged, but dang lucky - the abuse never turned physical, for which I am INCREDIBLY grateful.
Haha, thanks for the good wishes! There was a time when I was wondering if I would ever find someone good, and all of a sudden, I'm spoiled for choice!
Ah, you are lucky then, yes. Mine was... all kinds >> and we were married and I had to move back in with my parents to escape him >>;;
Isn't that the way it goes, though? I always tell others to keep their chin up and not settle for someone who they don't really love just because they are lonely, because things do eventually turn around :) I'm sure that annoys the heck out of some people when I say that, but it does happen.
It's already evening for you Hummy? o.o
It's still morning here for another 20 minutes
About the relationship stuff... I've never been too lucky with all of that. Exwife was abusive physically and mentally and wouldn't let me talk to my best friend because she was afraid I would leave her for my friend. Granted she was right... but I was loyal until she admitted to having an affair.
Last edited by The Wandering Poet; 09-05-2015 at 05:59 PM..
trigger warning for more abuse talk. feel free to skip over.X
I have to admit that I did have an affair of sorts before leaving my ex-husband, but I was in a lot of pain and he was the only one who would actually listen to any bad talk about my ex (all my other friends at the time couldn't believe that he was anything but "such a good christian man"... I don't talk to them anymore). It was an online friendship, but crying on his shoulder and leaning on him for support eventually led to other feelings. I know I lost everyone because my ex says I left him for another man and plays himself up as the victim, but I didn't let my feelings factor into the final decision. Sure, the other man is my husband now, but I wanted to make damn sure I was doing the right thing because I didn't want to later in life wonder if I should've stayed with my ex. Could I have done things better? Sure. But that doesn't change the fact that my ex emotionally, verbally, physically, and sexually abused me. I'm almost positive I'm still suffering from some PTSD from what he put me through even though it's been six years since I got out of there. Never been diagnosed, though, but on occasion I still have nightmares about him and once in a great while I react horribly to something minor and just curl up and cry.
@ hummy - Mine is ok. I have to get the oil changed in my car today. Bleh.
@ Sarah - I know the feeling of leaving them and them claiming to be the victim. I don't understand how people can not see past such blatantly obvious covers as what those kinds of people have. Just because a person is "of faith" doesn't make them a good person.
I guess when in times of trouble, it's the ones that are there for you that you find to be your true friends. Though it seems you got lucky and he became more :)
Poet - right? I have no idea. Then again, I thought he was a nice guy until we were married... he hides it well, real Jekyll and Hyde type. Last I knew, he was even in training to become a pastor >>; ughh. I lost almost all of my friends from university because of it. But yes, much better place now :) Two years with my new hubby and despite all the troubles life has brought us, he's still a wonderful comfort and companion and I wouldn't trade him for anything.
Cheshire - is it Labor Day weekend now? Man, the things I totally space out on when they're no longer shoved in my face, hahaha. *waves a little swedish flag, wonderful land of workers rights*
It's a huge accomplishment to be in a better place, you deserve it! :)
I understand how hard it is to be in an abusive relationship and how hard it is to get out. For me, I didn't get out until I got te police involved, so I totally understand.
Abusive relationships are sad and reading this thread and seeing how many of us were in abusive relationships makes me more sad, but at the same time, it seems we're all in better places so there's hope out there!
Yikes, yes, I am glad you also were able to get out!
I agree with you, though... seeing this is definitely a hopeful thing :) You always hear about those who don't make it out, so it's always good to hear about those who find life again afterward :)
