I began dating at age 15 without my father's approval, but with my mother's. I dated that guy for a year and then we broke up. Shortly after I got with the man I am dating now, we have been dating for almost a year(one week left) and he is the love of my life. My mother is in love with him too. I turn 18 next summer and we intend to move in together until we are financially stable enough to get married.

I was raised in a protestant home and he was raised in a catholic home.

I do not agree with denominational division.

My father met my boyfriend, Jared, and they got along really well. My dad has found out that I've begun dating and didn't do anything about it. After letting me and Jared date for 7 months my dad decided he didn't want me involved with a catholic. At first my mother helped me protest but eventually felt that a "good christian woman" shouldn't defy her husband. So now they both are against me, even though my mother loves Jared almost as much as I do.

I pick gentlemen types. Jared goes out of his way to serve me and help me and he did that for my family up until we were told to stop seeing each other. My father and I have a ton of issues in our past that already have me bitter and not liking him, and instead of trying to fix that my last year at home, he drives another nail into the coffin.

It is now an understood agreement in my house that I refuse to break up with him. If they catch me with him though (even though they know I'm still seeing him behidn their backs) they will make me quit my job and a small vocal group I auditioned for and am now involved in at my college (I duel enroll at a community college.) They will take away my laptop which I need for school and my Facebook and email. Not to say that I wouldn't fight all this back like the most rebellious teen you have ever seen, but still. I don't like all this conflict. I have been a very studious, respectful kid all through growing up. I got all straight A's and even now I pick very sweet, respectful gentlemen who don't drink, don't cuss and don't smoke. Jared is also going far in college, he's only two years older than me, he loves the SAME GOD I was raised to serve and all he does is differ in some minor doctrinal stuff that he and I can work around. But that's our call not my parents.

I hate that they are creating such a divide my last year here. They know it isn'[t working, that I'm still seeing him, and that even if I stopped now I'd get back with him as soon as I turned 18, while also leaving home and breaking their hearts. I don't see what they think they are accomplishing except hurting all of us and causing one big fight that goes on every day.

His parents don't like that I'm protestant either but because he's an adult he already had all the arguments he's going to have with them about it and moved out (we started dating shortly after he turned 18.)

My mom and I fight every time we are alone together. My poor little sister has to here it all the time.

No one in my family or my friends agrees with this decision. I am seriously considering just blowing off school and being as rebellious as I can to just, "stick it to them." What do you guys think I should do, what do you think about their decision?

If any of you are Catholics or Protestants, what do you think about the two dating and possibly marrying?

No haters please, or trolls. I want serious responses. It is very distressing.

I feel like Romeo and Juliet.

I date who I wanna date. My parents don't have a word in it- They don't decide who I love. I do.

Yes but my parents think they do...

Okay... first thing first. Be careful of marriage too soon. I made that mistake myself and now I've been divorced.

Second off, it would likely be better to wait until AFTER college to move in together. That can make for a rather stressful setting.

Third off, Religion. The key to a family with separate religions is understanding and respect. While is it okay to talk about it and such it is not okay to shove it down people's throats. That being said, you would have to discuss the children factor prior. As they will potentially be stuck in the middle of that.
(Also to note, the religions aren't actually as similar as they seem)

Fourth, you have to keep in mind that 1 year does not tell you enough about someone to marry them. I knew my ex-spouse for 4 years before I married them and shortly after (not even 6 months) they had already had an affair. By the end of the first anniversary we were already filing for divorce.

Okay so you're only 16? and thinking about marrying someone you've only been with for a year. A year is NOT long enough to fully know someone in a relationship. In fact a year is nothing. I would not get married until you finish college and have your life together. At 18 you're still building a life and between 18 and your mid 20's you're going to do a lot of growing up. I married young to my best friend and we decided that we were better friends than lovers. We also dated since we were 14. It's more important for YOU to build a life for yourself rather than waiting on someone that you've only dated for a year.

That said, your parents should not be dictating who you date and who you don't. They need to accept the fact that you're growing up and that you need to be able to be with who your chose, not who they think you should be with.


In short, my opinion on it is that you should worry about yourself and not some guy. Work on getting your life together, graduate college and become independent than think about marrying someone once you have a stable career and are able to support a family.

I don't mean to sound rude, but I wouldn't consider marriage at all. You're about the same age as me, and I know for a fact that I'm not ready for marriage. No seventeen year old really is. No matter how well you think you know the person or how great you get along now, I can almost guarantee that after college when you're both technically adults and have your lives together, that you won't want the same things in life.

I'd wait before you move in together and plan marriage. Definitely wait.

Also, tell your parents to get a grip and butt out of your love life. They have no say in this at all. You love who you love, not them.

I'm not going to even touch on the religious aspect of this, because I'll likely just offend.

I agree with the others and say wait. Get your education out of the way first, without the stress and complication of wedding arrangements. Once school is out of your hair, if you both feel the same way about each other, then you can start arranging a wedding without the stress of school getting in the way

Also, once you're a few years older, your parents might have learnt to back off and let you live your own life. You can respect your parents opinions without having to do what they want. It IS your life, not theirs. They cannot dictate who you should or shouldn't be with.


As an aside, your mum is allowed her own opinions. I don't know why she thinks she has to be a good Stepford Wife by agreeing with everything your father believes in : /


Good luck with your life, but don't pile too much onto your plate at once. If this guy really is the one. He'll still be there in a couple of years, and you can do things without rushing anything, and give everything the attention that it deserves

Originally Posted by Mystic

Okay so you're only 16? and thinking about marrying someone you've only been with for a year. A year is NOT long enough to fully know someone in a relationship. In fact a year is nothing. I would not get married until you finish college and have your life together. At 18 you're still building a life and between 18 and your mid 20's you're going to do a lot of growing up. I married young to my best friend and we decided that we were better friends than lovers. We also dated since we were 14. It's more important for YOU to build a life for yourself rather than waiting on someone that you've only dated for a year.

No, I'm 17, I graduate and turn eighteen next spring. I've known this guy 3 years and we've been dating for 1. (thought it has seemed much longer because we saw each other from 6 in the morning till 11 at night, no break EVERY DAY (except on very rare occasions) we've also slept together and spent the night together many many times. I understand the rushing thing but this is what my heart tells me, I'm not asking if I should marry him, or if I'm capable, but what you think I should do concerning my parents. I'm not 16, I duel enroll and nearly have both my high school and college degree. School is fine and he's almost done becoming a paramedic.

---------- Post added 10-15-2012 at 10:03 AM ----------

Originally Posted by Absurditea

I don't mean to sound rude, but I wouldn't consider marriage at all. You're about the same age as me, and I know for a fact that I'm not ready for marriage. No seventeen year old really is.

I'm not asking for advice on whether I should marry...and He and I would be marrying just before I turned 20....we are only talking about marriage, I'm asking for advice on my parents ordering me to break up now because they don't want me marrying THEN.

---------- Post added 10-15-2012 at 10:10 AM ----------

Originally Posted by jellysundae

I agree with the others and say wait. Get your education out of the way first, without the stress and complication of wedding arrangements. Once school is out of your hair, if you both feel the same way about each other, then you can start arranging a wedding without the stress of school getting in the way

I almost have my education, I am almost graduated from college with my degree. I started school early to save money, time and trouble. And he is almost ready to start his career as a paramedic, school wise and job wise we are set. I am talking about marrying near the age of 20. I am troubled that my parents want me to not only break up with him, but stop communications with him as if he fell of the face of the earth or never existed. That would completely stop us from marrying ever, if I followed that order. You cannot marry someone you cannot see ever again. :P I would have to choose to disobey my parents wishes somewhere down the line.

My parents hardly involved themselves in my life, I homeschooled (since they didn't want to send me to a nice real school with friends) and I pretty much had to teach myself and my little sister through all 10 school grades. (The last two I spent duel enrolling at a college since going through homeschooling got most of my high school stuff out of the way.)

I raised myself and my little sister, fed us, taught her, I took care of us. My parents weren't involved and I've earned a pretty strong independence. I now want to become co-dependant on a man I love very much, who was raised with 9 kids and knows how to take care of a family. We both almost have our careers and our schooling. We are able to do this, as far as the heart is concerned and how well we really know each other, I understand the whole don't marry too young thing, it is a risk I am willing to take. My determination is strong concerning divorce, I strongly disagree with it and do believe that even when things appear unworkable or broken or when you FEEL out of love, it isn't really that way and if you stick it out it can work. Most of the time.

Last time, not asking IF i should marry him, I'm asking what to do about my parents. Sorry if I sounded too frustrated, just trying to be really clear and specific this time. -.-

That would mean living together about 2 years before marriage. I think, if you can share a place for 2 years without everything falling apart you've got a better chance than most marriages

I meant 17 i n my other post. Darn typos!

At any rate, I would make sure YOU are done with college and have a degree as well. Sounds like as far as education goes you have in planned, which is a good thing. You want to be able to support yourself and not rely on him. Reason I say that is because while my exhusband and I were and still are best friends, after the divorce, I ended up homeless because I relied too much on his income to get by and did not have a well enough paying job to support myself. We knew each other since we were 14 and were pretty much inseparable. We love each other still but it takes more than love to make a marriage work.

I don't believe in divorce unless you've tried everything else. Some things you just can't work out though.

As far as your parents, as long as you live in their house it's hard to go against what they say. I wouldn't stop seeing him because of them though. It wouldn't be fair to you and if he is your life partner than you could be missing out on that. Your parents shouldn't be dictating who you can see. If you have some place to go in case they kick you out, I would say something to them and let them know that it's your life, not theirs and they have no right to tell you who you can and can't see.

Thanks for all of the help guys! ^_^ Means a lot!

yes you should wait on marriage especially being young. you have a whole life ahead of you to get married. if he understands he will wait for you :)

he understands and would wait, we have no reason to wait. we both will have our careers by this time......we will have been together for 3 and living together for 1. I think those are good enough guides for getting married. I...Am....NOT...asking if we SHOULD marry...I was asking merely what to do about my parents.... |:(