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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 02:34 AM
Oh noes, what is going on? Do you need Kitteh to take care of him?
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 02:47 AM
i would love that, yes
actually, when i first met him i liked him more than my roommate hahaha but then they broke up for about a month and he screwed around but also lurked like some fuckin creeper and got in the way of her getting over him. basically, he could screw chicks but she had to remain celibate. then, me and my roomie and another friend went out to the bars, got shitty and then ooops there he is and he follows us back to our house without anyone knowing. he's sitting on the steps of our neighbors so he can look in her window because she brought home a dude that wasn't him. she had asked me to try to get him to leave so i was trying to do so because i didn't want a scene and as i was doing so he kissed me. that was the moment i started to really not like him. he didn't want me to tell her, but of course i did the next day and then a day or two after that there were back together.
since then i've found out that he takes things from our apartment and brings them to his. last i checked, taking something without asking is stealing. nothing huge, toilet paper, paper towels, things like that, although annoying nothing too bad. i've told him that it's stealing because i bought some of the things he's taken and i haven't noticed it much anymore. until today. i made oatmeal this morning and the huge tub of brown sugar i bought was gone. so i thought that my roomie possibly moved it cause she is kind of a clean freak after she smokes a lot of pot. i messaged her and nothing all day. i go to work all day (out at 9am and back home at 8:30pm) and attempt to make some dinner and i can't find some spices i just bought because he uses it all when he cooks here ( he also doesn't do the dishes here either and leaves his clothes and shoes all over the place) so i message her again and still nothing. she always has her phone on her so now i'm just really fuckin irritated. i'm just so done with him. he's taking my shit and making a mess all the fucking time. i'm not his goddamned mother nor am i his fucking girlfriend. i didn't sign up to be his roommate.
---------- Post added 08-28-2013 at 10:49 PM ----------
there. wow i feel much better
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 02:54 AM
I know it sounds shitty, and she is your roommate, but the best bet for the messes would be to push it all into her room, in hopes she would get annoyed and make him start picking it up. I'm sorry he steals stuff, you could be a jerk and keep your own rolls of TP and take it with you, so he goes in there and there is none, which will suck, and maybe he will realize he shouldn't steal it. Same with spices and what not, until he gets the hint. If he takes it, then it is gone and unusable to him, instead of replaced. If he doesn't get the hint then you will have to have a serious talk with your roommate.
Clearly this guy is an ass, and likely super manipulating, so she is likely in over her head, in one of those relationships where his is in charge and leads the way, and she follows because he has her so sure there is nothing better, and she HAS to be with him, even if he doesn't want to be with her. You could work on making his life miserable, until he gets annoyed. And when he says he doesn't like it, tell him to leave, he doesn't live there. But if you paint him out to be a total ass you can hope that your roomie sees it and realizes he isn't right. Point out things to her as it goes along.
It worked for me once, but every situation is different. Sorry you're in such a bad spot, it is never fun when you have people like that. Mess wise you could make sure you always clean up when he is doing something, vacuum when he is sleeping or watching TV? Very passive-aggressive tends to work.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 03:24 AM
it really is a shitty situation because i actually like my roommate a lot. and as far as taking everything into my bedroom sounds great but i pay to live in the whole house, not my bedroom and i feel that i shouldn't have to hide things because he's a thief, ya know? i do think that i'll have the talk with the roommate, assuming i ever get the chance to talk to her alone because he is always with her. so much that it's disgusting.
you're right he is a super manipulator. she is one of those people who can't just be alone, she needs to be in a relationship and i think that she is settling with him because she is so insecure with herself and like you said, she feels like she can't get anyone else. i have made comments to him in the past, like when he says we need an air conditioner and i said, 'are you gonna pay for it?' or when i've had to tell him not to turn up the heat in the middle of the day because it's expensive but then he blamed it on the cat. what a puss puss.
i think i shall still be passive aggressive, like a lot more like you suggested. maybe he won't want to be here and that's fine with me
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 03:29 AM
I know the idea of hiding stuff in your room sucks at first, since yeah, you pay for the whole space, but it just makes his life hell when he uses the bathroom and there is no TP, or spills something and nothing to clean it up with. You could even take his clothes and hide them somewhere, or toss them out, and blame the cat? I totes would.And when he asks, be like... well maybe you should put them away and you'd be able to find them.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 03:32 AM
bahahahaha i love it! i should do that and blame the cat!!! a taste of his own medicine!!
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 03:41 AM
If he complains about how something is, tell him to go home. Or pay rent. And make him buy groceries once in awhile. Batter yet, it worked for me before, make a big piece of paper (just tape a bunch together) and hang it on a very noticeable wall, and write on it EVERYTHING he uses that wasn't his, or steals, and if he takes it down, just keep putting it up. Maybe it will make him feel like a jerk, or it will be a way of showing your roomie how bad the problem is. You could even write down cleaning charges, I did! Just take minimum wage, hours it took, etc. I would sometimes be a prude and put down things like $1 for leaving the TV on when they left, and stuff. He took the hint real quick, because he would be embarrassed when people came over and it was on the wall. make sure his name is on it real big, too!
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 03:44 AM
bahahaha i love that!!!! and he does that shit all the time!! i should hide the remotes and stuff too. but i'll do that note thing for sure if he doesn't get the hint after i talk to her and she tells him... i hate letting her talk to him but i feel like this would be the next step in the chain and then if that doesn't work then i go up a step
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 03:56 AM
Sounds about right, and if you talk to her, and she doesn't do anything, it is a wake-up call for her, anyways. Not that she is a bad person, I doubt that, but she needs to see it all laid out if she can't see it now. Putting it up like that will seriously out thigns into perspective. I had the boy I did it to suddenly buying groceries and everything else, that I took it down and things were fine. Not to say he didn't try to take it down many times at first. I think I replaced it about 15 times, but it was worth it.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 04:05 AM
i should invest in big post it notes. i think i should say something to her along the lines of me shaving some of my rent off because i should be paid for my maid services and she should get the money out of him since he's the one i have to pick up after and who leaves lights on. i haaaate that he has keys to our place
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 04:06 AM
Tell her you don't feel safe with him having a key? This relationship seems too new and unstable, and he could use it whenever. What if he got mad and came in and tried to hurt her because she wanted to break up with him? All sorts of fucked up things could happen!
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 04:07 AM
well he had it after they were together a month (which is suuuper sketchy in itself) and she was with him before i moved in. she is much too naive. it's scary
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 04:15 AM
Hmm, she isn't being safe. I'd would for sure mention those things to her... Giving him access like that and what not. I mean, I guess talk to her, express your concerns, and then go from there.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 04:18 AM
that's all i can do i suppose. at least for now. oh and apparently he is going to go back to school in boston and he wants her to move with him. she is waiting till our lease runs out next june but he is going early i believe. i hope he goes and she finds someone else. serves him right
enough about that, sorry for venting. i am feeling much better about it now.
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 04:29 AM
Eww, tell her not to! Maybe she will realize it is better with him gone? But that is a long time away...
No worries, Linny-poo. I don't mind, it is nice to vent sometimes. I'll bug you next time!
How are things otherwise?
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 04:39 AM
it really is very nice to vent sometimes, and honestly, if that is the thing that is pissing me off the most these days then it's really not such a bad life  but yes! feel free to vent to me whenever you need it! that's what frannds are for
and otherwise things are quite well, thank you! monday and tuesday i was gone on a trip up northern maine. monday we did class five white water rafting and tuesday we sky dived. the best two days of my life! sky diving was completely amazing and i'd do it again in a heartbeat. i'm actually pretty terrified of heights and i thought i'd get more scared but i never did. not at all. kind of surprising considering i get vertigo when i look out my second story bedroom window haha
also, i had a job interview friday and that looked like it went really well. trying to get into a school so i have better hours. although, as of today, i found out there is a lead position opening in my current job and the hours are what i'm looking for and why i looked elsewhere to begin with. not sure i'll get it, but i really want to try and if i get it i really think i'd stay where i am.
got a movie date saturday with a friend i only usually go to hockey games with, so that's something fun. we're going to see 'the spectacular now' because i looooooove miles teller! and he's in it as the main character dude.
ooooh and just a little bit ago, i was talking to the guy who did my last tattoos on facebook and he asked me fo my numbah! so that's fun too!
my racing is all over though but that means that hockey starts soon, so that's bittersweet. my family is fine. i don't see much for friends these days but on occasion aaaaand.... i think that's it...?
i think that's enough  i shouldn't drink mountain dew so late. not only does it make me more chatty in real life, it also makes me more chatty in mene life :P
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 04:46 AM
Wow. You have such a busy and fun life, I'm envious. I wish I just did something in general. I haven't gone out in... months. I haven't done anything that remotely cool in years. I mostly just sit at home all day with the baby, trying to find a job or ways to make money. It's pretty shitty, honestly. It isn't that I don't want to be with her, that isn't the problem, but not having money sucks. I wish i could take her to the zoo, or the museum, or stuff like that to get out of the house, or go shopping and spend time away from home, but I can't really do any of that. I'm pretty depressed, honestly.
That is what actually brought me back to Mene, the need to talk to ANYONE. I hate not having and friends in the real world, I have literally no one to talk to other than the BF, and family if they call, which sucks, because sometimes I want to just vent about everything, or just talk, and I don't have those options. Hell, I wish I just had friends that could come over and hang out for a bit. Everyone tells me to go places and make them, but easier said than done, I'm pretty shy.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 04:54 AM
oh don't be fooled, my life is usually pretty boring  it's just been a busy week haha
but i know what you mean about going out to meet new people and make new friends. my reasons are a little different than yours, seeing as i don't have a family as you do, but i'm still a pretty shy person in real life. i just need to get past the 'getting to know you' phase and then i'm definitely not shy, but getting to that point is hard. some people think it's so easy but they don't know how it feels to be shy like that. maybe you could take baby for a stroll in a park and meet some other young mothers who might be there? i'm not sure the kind of area you live in but baby could have a play date and you could make a friend possibly? that wouldn't be weird around these parts and i know you live in an urbany area, or at least you used to, so it might not be possible
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 05:03 AM
Where we live isn't so nice, and sometimes we do go to the park, but I feel too awkward to talk to strangers to even strike up a conversation. I'm just not good at it. The boy is not any better either, sometimes I wish he had friends, that way at least we could have company or whatever, but he really doesn't either. We're pretty alone most of the time. We barely hang out with each other when we have time, he wants to play games, or goes to bed early. :/ I just wish things were different.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 05:09 AM
hmm i'm sure that would make anyone feel quite alone :/ is he someone you could talk to about how you're feeling and then he actually try to do something to help make you feel less lonely?
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 05:12 AM
Eh, not so much. I don't know, he isn't good at talking, so it isn't worth it, and sometimes he is the problem so it wouldn't work.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 05:15 AM
well i know it's not much seeing as i'm just a computer screen, but feel free to talk my ear off (or would that be 'eyes off' considering the medium?  )
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Precarious Fool
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08-29-2013, 05:22 AM
LAMMEEEE!
But thanks, I will keep that in mind.
Kitteh is sleepy but she doesn't want to go to bed. Even though Onika never sleeps in.
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Linnea
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08-29-2013, 05:27 AM
yea that was pretty lame huh?  but i really mean it
i am sleepy too... but i'm being stubborn. my eyes are burny
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Precarious Fool
Are you kitten me right meow?
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08-29-2013, 05:28 AM
I know if I go up to bed I will just get on my nook and be here anyways, and typing on the nook is not as easy, so I just figure I will stay up... just a bit longer. XD
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