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Feralprince
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#1
Old 05-12-2013, 03:34 AM

Hello. This is a somber hang out. A place for people who want to be in the company of others, but whose hearts of full of sorrow. Here is a place where the gods of sorrow will listen to your woe's, without fear of judgement from anyone. The water in the fountains are the tears of other sorrowful worshipers. The purpose of this temple is not to lament our sorrow, but to express and pay homage to this great force. Those who master their own pain cannot be harmed. Namaste.

---------- Post added 05-11-2013 at 11:43 PM ----------

A quick note on the rules for leaving your tales of sorrow as offerings. There are only two of them.

1) absolutely no belittling of other peoples offerings. You can comment and reflect with each other, but judging others for their pain offends the gods of sorrow.

2) Obey all the standard Menewsha posting rules.

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#2
Old 05-12-2013, 03:50 AM

As a show of good faith I will go first.

My offering today is a common one. I feel trapped and alone.

I can easily charm others for short periods of time. If i want to put on a show people will usually like me, and enjoy my company. However if I act like myself, a person who is often depressed, and full of sorrows and morbidity, I find myself less loved and accepted. However the me, the lonely, not very confident, affection and attention seeking me, is a part of the real me, a part of who I am. Also, if I put on a front too long, I begin to come off as phony, or merely become emotionally exhausted.

I often used to do this, and then reveal myself, my thoughts, and who I really was later on in small doses, only to find people who I believed to be friends and loved ones turning their backs to me. I fear that my endless quest for family and sanctuary might be futile due to my very nature. The weakness and depression this fear creates, is crushing. This is my offering today.

hummy
Little birdie ♥

Penpal
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#3
Old 05-13-2013, 11:54 AM



my Godmother has depression
i have noticed a lot of family stay away from her
i'm not sure if they don't know how to help or what
it's sad, though, she is lonely and very unhappy with herself

Feralprince
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#4
Old 05-13-2013, 07:11 PM

Patience help. Depression is difficult, because in my experience there are different sorts. One kind is a tendency towards imbalance without cause other then disposition. That can be treated sometimes with medication, and sometimes with therapy and conditioning, and sometimes it is difficult to treat at all. The other kind is triggered by over exposure to different stressors, and generally feeling your needs not met. Both are similar though, in that they create a background state of hopelessness and anxiety. Especially for the second kind, patience and encouragement from friends and loved ones help a lot. Honesty helps a lot too, saying things that you were afraid to. Acceptance goes a long way too.

A lot of depression can e related to age. my father is depressed sometimes as well because he sees the clock ticking away, sees his body getting weaker and less capable of doing the things that made him happy. My grandmother is the same way, and on top of that can get quite lonely. She hasnt had a partner since her divorce, and sometimes even though she would like company her vanity gets in the way. She has trouble getting properly dressed and made up sometimes, and wont see anyone unless she feels she is presentable.

I guess just be supportive, patient and open. Sadness in itself isn't a bad thing, it tells you what you want to do next if you can figure out how to listen to yourself. If you can't help her, don't worry. Everything always works out in the end. It's the best thing about being old, personal resolution is inevitable.

Last edited by Feralprince; 05-13-2013 at 07:33 PM..

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#5
Old 05-26-2013, 01:51 AM

I'm going to leave an offering today. It's a personal tragedy. It feels large, but it is temporary, or at least ephemeral, it comes and goes.

I feel like av volunteer whore. I do the things I think will make people happy while trying to hold onto myself in my personal life. I don't know which struggle is more desperate, and which one I'm failing at more. One might be tempted to say things like "Just be yourself", or "Just do what makes you happy for yourself".

I am being myself though. I desperately crave the love and approval of those I respect and enjoy, and nothing else really gives me any last joy. Other then memories.

I was tired today, normally when I host people I am very engaging (or I aim to be and just end up talking to much), and active to keep everyone excited. I want people to feel like I'm a fun person, so i often try too hard. Today was even worse. No one was talking, I didn't make drinks cause i forgot to get ready, I said something awkward and stupid. I feel even more nervous then I did before. I'm nervous with new people, new friends, old friends, and every time I see them I just feel more lonely and nervous, but without people I feel empty and sad.

I'm going to spend the rest of the night peeking at facebook, wishing I had someone to talk to, and either mostly being too nervous to approach anyone in fear that I talk to them too much, or saying hello and not getting an answer. And yeah, i know its not cause they hate me. It might even be someone who would call me a friend. I'm just not important in their lives, I just don't fit in to anyone's plan... and I guess I don't have any choice than to just accept the state of things and the sadness it brings for now until I figure out an alternative way to be that makes me feel more fulfilled. I'm not gonna cry. I'm not a child anymore. I'm just going to sigh, sleep, rinse, and repeat.

 


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