Strive didn't mew, but he certainly started purring at Salis' sudden movement. He tilted his head to rub his ears lightly against the other neko's shoulder and head. "A little time ... I can do that," murmured Strive. Head still bent, leaning against Salis. So comfortable ... It was easy to see himself for a moment, cuddling up to the other neko on a daily basis and basking in the warmth he offered so readily. Quick as the thought had come, Strive shoved it away and shifted further away after giving Salis a quick nuzzle.

"We need to go home now, Rue. Dinner time." He sent Salis an apologetic look.

Rue grumbled softly under his breath, then nodded to himself. He moved quickly to wrap his arms around Salis and gave the Falaaz a quick, affectionate, lick on the cheek. "I'll come back here tomorrow, sometime. So see you then!" The short clad neko vaulted up from the ground and started running away with a laugh and a wave of his hand. With a shake of his head, Strive followed at a more sedate pace.

Salis felt himself buzzing. Like this was strange, but it should have been natural. Should have been welcomed---and it was, of course, but he felt strange. He hoped it was a good strange, because it made him smile, even as the nekos excused themselves to go home. He waved back at them, though, even as they vanished, and slowly, his hand fell. The loneliness had begun settling in again. The knowledge that he'd be alone tonight, again. He swallowed a cry and stood up straight, dusting off his tunic and turning.

His tail was low now, as the sun began sinking below the trees that encircled their quiet little corner of the universe. When he returned to the gates of the little outer village, he wasn't greeted by friends or others glad to see him return. In fact, he wore the brightest colors of anyone here. Most wore dark red, black, blue, gray, green... things that let them fade into the shadows. He lowered himself to all fours to continue, crawling into his little hut near the outer edge of the ones constructed. There was plenty of space for more, only he lived far away from the rest, it seemed.

His little hut was the same as the others. His bed was in the corner, across from a pallet of furs and a pot that hung over the unburned wood in the little stone fireplace. His bed was shaped like a bowl, held together with powerful, tanned switches, and sleeved with dark silk and stuffed with fur and down to make it soft. The sight of the pot over the fire made Salis realize he hadn't eaten since early this morning. With a sigh, he turned and went to the center of the village, where there was sure to be food lying ready for stragglers to take home.

The pair arrived home, and as usual their parents were working upon the jewelry they sold at markets most days. Gold wire was twisted around precious jewels, then slipped onto leather chords. These were often exchanged between just mated nekos, signs of their desire to stay together and because of this ... They worried all the more for their children and their lack of loves.

Golden haired, the woman stood, her tail lashing across the ground. Her green eyes flashed. "Falaaz! Are you both determined to rid yourselves of what luck you have?"

"Mom, he's really nice! Please don't be angry, he just looked so lonely ..." Strive let Rue talk, standing in the middle of their set of rooms. He preferred to sneak away, past the eyes of his adoptive parents. His father, Durance, was not only a jewelry maker but also a member of the milita. He wanted to follow in the man's footsteps, that dark haired neko who'd passed on his coloring to his son of blood.

Strive went to hide in the kitchen, eating fish and some greens before slipping upstairs into his room and curling up on the bed. His thoughts flickered to Salis, such a sweet thing ... Perhaps too sweet for him. He might break him. Rue on the other hand seemed perfect for the sun and snow neko.

Rue noticed Strive slipping away, and fumbled his way past his parents with excuses, explanations and a good amount of begging, mewing and cuteness. He too went to his room after eating, a separate one from Strive's. The dark haired neko thought of Salis as well, of how much he wanted the other neko's affections for his own, and the fear he felt every time Strive had spoken with Salis. These thoughts ushered them both into sleep.

Salis took home a fish---a large one, since his hunger was gnawing at his insides because he ignored it all day. He ate it outside his hut and watched the sad sight before him. They all walked with heads low, rarely upright. Their tails dragged to the ground. There were a few young males and females that only recently arrived under the tag of Falaaz, trying to talk with each other and avoid the others that had been here for years. But he could see the fire in their eyes fading slowly. Their hair was still shiny, and they kept their tails relatively high as if in hope. There were old ones, that didn't look old. Their hair was streaked with a little gray, or had grown ashy, and their eyes were sunken. Otherwise they didn't appear what age they were---nekos didn't age much more after reaching full maturity.

Though Salis wasn't afraid of aging... He was afraid of turning into one of these walking dead, those so near death and desperate to be taken by it, but finding it teasingly out of reach. Perhaps that was the curse, their desire for death that refused to come to them early. It was their own personal curse, really, nothing that anyone else would find affecting them. Salis shook his head, sighing and backing away, into his little hut. Alone, like every night.

Curling in his bed, Salis twisted his tail around himself and tightened himself into a little ball. He didn't know how it felt to lie around with others, potential mates or perhaps even the one he'd chosen, or that had chosen him. The thought wakened his memory of the day, meeting Rue and Strive. One that was sweet and kind, but seemed to have tendencies toward anger. And Strive, the blunt and to-the-point sibling. He liked them both, if he had to be honest with himself. Wanted to spend time with them both. But how would that come to be? He shook his head, burying it in the silky cover of his bed and sniffling, finding it acceptable to cry here, where no one cared, and everyone cried.

Strive slipped from his bed and moved into his brother's room. Quick as that, they were both dressed in the light tunics and shorts common for their people. It was early, yes, but they didn't want their parents to notice their departure.

"We should move out," said Rue at last.

Strive shrugged, and kept his eyes upon the river, and the nearby buildings. There was no one there yet, save a fishing neko pulling her net from the water. Splashes filled the air, the fishes trying to escape their rope prison. Strive settled down upon a nearby stretch of brick, a wall, while Rue walked to the small overhang where Salis had sat the day before. It felt nice, sitting where the other neko had been. It made Rue feel closer to him somehow.

He woke to absolute and utter silence. It seemed around here, not even the birds sang. Like they knew the desolation the Falaaz dealt with and didn't even want to give them the pleasure of a song in the morning. At night one could hear the occasional hoot from an owl or rustle in the underbrush. The creak of those old, massive trees in the wind, a sound so lonesome it could drive even a happy neko to tears. But Salis woke without hearing any of that, and crawled stiffly out of his bed, stretching and rubbing against the stone of his fireplace in an attempt to feel better. But until he got away from the Falazzi village, that wouldn't happen.

He grabbed a relatively small fish from the pile the melancholy fishers had collected earlier that morning, recalling his turn to fish would be tomorrow. Shaking his head, he stood upright and started back to where he'd been yesterday. Salis doubted they would be there again... Perhaps it was just a one-time thing. Maybe they both ran into luck and found some good nekos, ones that weren't Falaaz, ones that would keep their attention for good.

He was surprised to see them there, though, when he got to the riverside. So surprised, he dropped to all fours and crept toward them. "Yo-you're... back...?" He mewed, grimacing when he sounded so pitiful. His vision was clouded with a million impossibilities, but he could see them. "I didn't think---" He shook his head, raising his tail in greeting despite his sudden nervousness.

Rue crept to Salis's side and immediately began cuddling up to the other neko, a loud rumbling purr escaping his lips. "Of course we're here! We said we would be. Aren't you happy to see us?" He hoped the other man was. Oh if it wasn't so, Rue just knew his heart would break. Salis was his, was going to be his, he was a hundred percent sure... So long as Strive didn't get in the way, anyway. The older neko stole attention without even meaning to.

A prime example was when he shifted, tilted his head so the sun shone across his pale locks, and smiled slightly. "We did indeed give our word, Salis. " How adorable could one neko be? Salis was the absolute sweetest thing Strive had ever seen. Even so, he wondered how well they were suited, how well it might work. Even so, he didn't shift towards the cuddling pair. He watched, feeling some jealousy and sadness in his heart.

Salis returned the gesture, rubbing against Rue when he drew close enough and offering a smile. "Of course I'm happy to see you!" He promised, giving Rue a lick on the cheek. "I just... I've been lied to before. I didn't want to get my hopes up this time, it's nothing against either of you." But he didn't feel like having his soul crushed yet again---just a faint pulling sadness that left a cold sensation emanating from his heart. Looking around toward Strive, he slid forward but didn't necessarily stand. "I try not to give too much credit to others until they prove something. It's nothing personal, I promise." And at this point, Strive seemed to look so isolated, sitting away from him and Rue, as if a fence separated them.

He pressed his forehead against Strive's chest. "I hope nothing bad comes of this." He muttered. "I'd hate to be between you two... or make on of you uncomfortable." That was the last thing on his mind, in fact. If something bad happened because of him---his bad luck.

Rue wriggled happily, smiling brightly to show it. Oh he loved the attention! He could get used to that type of closeness, to being able to just sidle up to someone else and cuddle with them with no questions asked. But then Salis was moving away, going to Strive. The dark haired neko growled before he knew it, a soft sound rising from his throat without any conscious thought. He didn't know if he could share Salis, could sit by and watch the sun and snow neko with his brother, cuddling of to Strive. It made him feel like he'd lose the chance he'd just found.

Strive chuckled, lifting a hand to rub his fingers over one of the other neko's ears softly. "Contrary to appearances, Rue and I are always competing. Just hear him growl he's already scared I'll steal you away." He tilted his head, letting out a sigh. "Maybe we should ... come up with some kind of arrangement. I don't think either of us want to see the other with you."

"I can agree with that!" stated Rue vehemently.

Salis grimaced hard, backing away from both of them. Maybe it was sibling rivalry, yes, but he couldn't help but feel he provided greater strife for them to feed off of. "I don't want to be... anything that'd break your bond apart..." He muttered. "But... you're right." One didn't have much longer. The other had a while, but his time was approaching quickly. "I think it'd be a good idea to separate our time, if that's best." He backed up a little more, able to look at both of them without favoring one specifically. If he were honest with himself, Salis would have shouted that he didn't know who he liked, not over the other. He loved Rue's kind state of mind, with a fiery streak that had a bit of bite. And he loved Strive's bluntness, but also the way he accepted Salis and could overlook what he was. And he apparently liked Salis despite his timidity.

"I don't want to take favorites." He said solidly. "I... want it to be fair for... all of us." He closed his eyes. "And I decide, today, to spend time with the one with the shortest amount of time." He was grimacing, but didn't realize it, finding his ears lying flat against his head in preparation for any reaction.

They both nodded, the brothers opposite as could be. Neither one of them wanted to suggest who might spend time with the third neko alone first. They would have started arguing, and that ... Salis would probably have become more upset then he was already. So it was a relief to hear the timid neko speaking up, taking the decision away from them.

Rue nodded, and stepped forward quickly. He gave Salis a hug. "I'll see you here tomorrow then." Before leaving, the dark eared neko nuzzled the other man. He walked off with a wave and a swish of his tail, every inch of him showing reluctance.

For his part, Strive shifted not an inch until he was alone with Salis. Then he moved, striding forth to stand before the other pale neko. "You'll have to make a choice eventually, you know." Sooner then later, he hoped. Strive wanted to know if he had to look to others to save him from his fate. Stubborn as he was, the white haired neko would hold out for love.

Salis watched him leave with a little sadness---he hated to turn one away in favor of another, but it wouldn't be like that, really. He would spend time with Rue soon, tomorrow, all day long. Just like today, only with Strive. Even so, it hurt to feel the sadness radiating from Rue in a different manner than actual, obvious sadness. Maybe subtle. Still, he couldn't focus on that---Strive was there, and he made it obvious, and Salis had to fight not to turn his gaze down as he'd become conditioned to do. "I know." He said quickly. "I... don't want to string either of you along. It's difficult to even consider making a choice at this point---I truly enjoy being around both of you, and I love specific qualities about you, and Rue. It's different, so obvious, but... I like the differences." He smiled, and looked back, over the top of the taller grass. From here he could see the outer limits of the city.

"I'm sorry I can't go around there." He muttered, looking back at Strive. "I... wouldn't be very welcomed. And it'd hurt you too. It's just a small place, though, isn't it?" Salis lifted his ears to the sound of fish splashing nearby. "And the river leads to so many places... You wouldn't really know where to look unless you were trying to find them. Have you ever seen the outer limits, beyond the villages?" He had to go there. Had to escape the glares of those that had developed relationships or were still seeking them out, and had to escape the sadness and soul-shattering feeling that came over him every time he even looked toward the Falaazi village.

It was so strange ... He reached out to wrap an arm around the other neko, tilting his head to nip and nuzzle Salis' ear. "Alright, I understand." Such a smile. Strive wanted to see so much more of it. He purred softly, tail lashing through the air. He thought of places they might go, away from the city, away from the eyes of other Falaaz. It suited him, to leave all prying eyes behind. Still, there was something missing, and he couldn't put his finger on it.

He did like how Salis worried over how others might perceive him. It warmed his heart. "Would you like to go and walk in the forest?" There was a spot, not too far away, an enchanting place. A deep pool of clear rainwater lay within the clearing, surrounded by wildflowers, rimmed by trees and large rocks. It was the perfect place to be alone, or to bring a special someone.

Salis smiled. He enjoyed the rainforest. It was so beautiful, and though he'd lived there all his life, could never expect anything to be the same. Or anything less than breathtaking. "I'd love that, actually. I hope you don't mind if I show you a place I like to go to..." He pulled Strive along a bit, but not forcibly, and over one of the bridges that extended the length of the river. It was arched and built with sturdy stone so fishing boats could travel, and trading vessels could come and go from other, distant cities. It wasn't far from the city that he'd seen something, some years ago.

"Once when I was walking the undergrowth---before I was condemned to this life---I saw something few ever do." Salis spoke quietly, but enough for Strive to hear. "I saw a black jaguar. You know the stories say... That when a young one sees a black jaguar, they'll have amazing luck in their search for a mate. They'll find one that they'll love and adore and who'll feel the same, and that love will transition death, like all soul-bonds. I saw one when I was fourteen seasons. I'd generally had bad luck by then, for a full season already, but... it got worse as time went on and I lost faith in that little story." He smiled sadly. "I guess that's just what it is---a story. But I put a lot of faith in... Sorry, sorry... I forgot myself. I..." He shook his head. "Nothing... It just feels better to tell someone after so long."

Strive shrugged, and moved to lean against the sturdy bridge. His eyes remained on the river as he spoke, almost absentmindedly. "Salis, who says that the black jaguar didn't bring you luck? It may simply have taken more time then is usual. After all, haven't you been found by my brother and I? How many nekos can say that they have siblings vying for their attention, not many I think."

The tall neko shifted closer to the other man, and nudged Salis' shoulder softly. It was peaceful ... Save for the fact that Salis seemed to upset. It broke the moment, shattering the peace of the place. Strive wanted to win it again, to bring it about and settle his companion down. He bent his head, and rubbed it lightly against the other man's face.

Salis was glad for the show of affection, finding someone worried about his happiness to be... odd. Odd, yes, but gradually, all the more welcomed. It was like a slow, but steady, easing of his Falaazi nature, and to escape that was... unheard of. No one had gotten out of that sadness and listless life before, he was sure, at least... not in his lifetime. He leaned into Strive. "I suppose." He sighed lightly. "Perhaps since everyone decides that their luck should only come before their nineteenth season." And after that, their luck was gone. And it was so potent that it didn't allow anyone else any kind of luck, if they got nearby.

Maybe that was the smell. The smell of the unlucky that pegged him and others like him 'Falaaz'. But apparently, the brothers didn't care to smell it. Maybe they couldn't. That was such a good thought, Salis turned to Strive and smiled so his teeth would show. That was a rare thing to do, for him, at least. "Thank you, I... I'm glad you... and Rue... can overlook what everyone else can't. I guess not many people can be so lucky as to have two neko after them at once, let alone siblings." He stepped away, walking along the bridge that would lead into the forest, and a quiet little place, and he hoped Strive would come along without being asked. The stone was warm and damp on his bare feet, after the evening shower before. It would continue to rain, as it was wont to do in the rainforest.

The younger neko fell into step behind Salis easily. Strive's ears twitched this way and that as they walked. There were so many sounds! The sharp scent of pine trees filled his nose after a while, making him sneeze a little and shake his head. He wondered where the other man was leading him. Certainly someplace peaceful and brilliant. Salis seemed to have a knack for finding such places. What else did a Falaaz have to do, though ...

A smile! He grinned as he remembered the sight. "I don't know if that will be a good thing. We'll have a hard time sharing, even though we've decided on these arrangements." He sighed. It seemed like neither of them would be wholly happy until a choice had been made, and then the other would be miserable ... Strive because his own Falaaz days were approaching, and Rue because he cared so much for Salis already.

A particular part of the forest, a little grove of trees full of sap, called out to be the place to go. A place he could show Strive that, perhaps, he'd never seen before. After all, he probably had other responsibilities, didn't have quite as much to do as Falazzi did, who weren't very welcome in the city or the surrounding villages as well, who fished only for themselves, as what they caught was considered contaminated by their touch. Luckily the line of Masters of the city so far had decided to keep the village and its occupants under their protection.

"I understand---siblings have difficulty sharing, it's... just the way they are. Maybe that instinct to be... competitive." Salis wrung his hands in front of himself. "But I fear that day. Even if it's closer than I like. I don't think I'll be able to make a decision... without feeling terrible about it. Because I'll doom one of you, and I like both of you." He breathed in shakily, and bound forward, off the path. "Come this way!" He called, going down onto all fours to run a little swifter, clamping his ears back as wind and underbrush slapped by in waves until he slid to a stop in a ring of trees.

Above, in the canopy, crystallized sap shone the sunlight in sparkling daytime stars, shining in gold, white, and bronze and creating shafts of light that hit bright, thick green grass that was soft under the feet. Vines hung on the trees, and were weighted down with huge, heavy white flowers dripping with nectar that hummingbirds and huge butterflies flocked to. A tiny stream of water fed the main river the city was built over, and sparkled and splashed with little, bright fish. Stone formations jutted upward, and were perfect places, mossy and soft and warm, to sun oneself. Salis turned for Strive.

He felt guilty for wringing such emotions from Salis. The younger neko followed thoughtfully, at a more sedate pace. To be in the midst of others attention, he'd felt that before, but he'd never really grown attached to any of his admirers. It would have made things too difficult. Maybe he could have ... but none of them had ever really caught his eyes, captured his heart. Salis was making good headway in that aspect.

His thoughts stopped, everything in his froze, when Strive stepped into the clearing and saw the crystallized sap. Lips parted, he stared at the amazing sight. "So ... oh ..." The neko's tail swished slowly as he took a few steps forward to run a finger across the hard golden substance. "How did you find this place?" And immediately after that, Strive's thoughts veered to his bother.

The clearing .. he hoped it wouldn't be shown to Rue. In a way, that would have been devastating. To have been shown this place, to think of it as his and Salis' and then to see that ownership by two snatched away. Strive didn't know whether to speak of his worries or not.

Salis felt his throat close up before Strive found his way, burrowing his desperation into a quiet place that wouldn't show. He hoped that Strive would love this place---he seemed the kind to appreciate light, gold, white, nature in this spectacular view and the way the water in the stream talked. He was pale, after all, pale hair, pale fur. And at the obvious appreciation, Salis beamed, scrambling up onto one of the mossy rocks and sitting. "Falaaz have a lot of time on their hands." He said. "And since I'm not as sad as the others, I have the will to go out and find places like these. Off the trails and roads. Away from anywhere other nekos might find. I always come here, and a few other places... I used to dream about bringing my mate here, and spending time with them... alone... away from everyone, so we could do what we wanted..." He loved to think like that. About having not fallen victim to time, and found someone. Perhaps someone independent of mind, but kind, sweet, truthful and honest in every way... affectionate. But he hadn't made it.

Glancing down, Salis tilted his head. Strive seemed a bit conflicted. Was that the word, conflicted? Worried, perhaps. He leapt down to Strive's level and grasped his arm. "Are you okay?" He asked, concerned suddenly. "Is something wrong?" Maybe he'd overlooked something... Did something bad? While it might have been easy if he'd mussed up, he wanted to know what it was so he didn't do it again.

The thought of such wonderful dreams nearly lifted his confusion, his doubts. Not quite, though. Strive shook his head quickly when Salis joined him so suddenly upon the ground. The pale neko lifted a hand to cover the other man's with his own. A tilt of his head had Strive's golden eyes level with Salis's blue ones. He forced a small smile to his lips, to ease his words a bit. He couldn't very well not mention what bothered him so.

"I'm alright... It's just, the thought that you might show this place to my brother too ... It takes away the magic, just a bit." More then that, it shattered the wonder he had first felt when walking amidst the golden crystals, dripping from the trees and forming intricately beautiful patterns of light upon the forest floor. Even so, Strive couldn't ask the pale neko to not show Rue the clearing. Strive refused to enter too deeply into the city, and for reason enough. This was therefore one of the few notable places he could take anyone.

Salis tilted his head, a knitted brow voicing his thoughts without his having to say anything. That was why Strive looked worried? Salis shook his head, his tail sliding left and right to match the movement, and put his other hand over Strive's. "The magic is... ours. To share. I brought you here because I felt it was the best place to show you. Because you seem to appreciate it. The way the sap looks like gemstone in the trees. And the vines and their flowers. I know a place I can show Rue, that we can share our time there, but here is a place for only us. I know it's not... permanent. I mean, I know I have to make a choice and I hate to think about that day, but for now, I just want to show you the places I feel you'll love most of all. Places that no one else will come to. They can't find them because they don't look, and they can smell the Falaaz on the air."

He turned, looking around the area. It made him happy, to be here. It staved off the feeling of depression and despair that the Falaaz always fell into. The way the sun shone in golden rays and gave the air a faint green tint as it filtered through the thin, pale leaves at the canopy. The way the amber sap strung like melted gemstones and glimmered with dew or recent rainfall. The thick scent of the heavy-petaled flowers as they sprouted out of their protective casings. And the way the rain looked as one huddled under the stony outcropping near the little stream. He only wanted to share this place with one person, and that was Strive. He didn't think Rue would like it as much as he would other, more mysterious places he'd discovered over time.

Moved, his heart warming at the words, Strive lifted a hand to brush his fingers gently against the Falaaz's cheek. The soft caress might have seemed uncharacteristic to his brother, to most anyone really. It was the kind of softness he'd only rarely ever shared with anyone. The pale neko hadn't expected to show it so quickly.

Absentmindedly, he shifted his hand to cradle Salis's cheek. "I'm glad ... No matter what happens, I think this place will always be special to me now." Strive smiled, tilting his head. His tail swished back and forth slowly, his ears swiveled to follow the sounds of the forest for a moment, but then moved to focus upon the other neko. This would be a place for him, and for Salis ... A place he could always return to in order to remember, for he knew now that he wanted memories with the other pale haired man.

Salis smiled, losing himself a bit in a deep purr. He was already wrapped up with Strive, though Rue was never far away in his mind. Wrapped up with both of them, perhaps. How would he choose? He couldn't. It would hurt one regardless, and he'd never feel right again. He couldn't... But he shook that away and focused on Strive---pale, not unlike Salis. Sweet, but honest, and he didn't sugarcoat that. It was a good thing. Salis liked truth, and he wanted it without filter. Not many neko would do that. They all tried to toe about the edges of the truth to ease someone in when it just took so much time, and sometimes didn't help at all. It was harsh, perhaps, he he knew how to take it.

"I hope so." He brought up his hand, covering Strive's. "I hope I don't hurt you, or Rue. I dread that day... And it's not far off." True, courtships didn't last long. Sometimes several weeks at the longest, but when one meets their mate, they know. And sometimes it was hard to choose, as there might have been multiple that would work out with just one individual. That was always a difficult choice. Salis had seen it many times. He backed away, jumping onto one of the higher stones again and reaching up. From here he could reach the heavy flowers hanging from their thick vines and pulled one off. Its scent grew stronger when it was detached from its vine, and from within, sweet nectar oozed over Salis' fingers.

He could imagine himself so easily, waiting there, sitting alone and remembering his time with Salis. Salis who would be happy with Rue, laughing and smiling, ears and tail well groomed because he knew love and was Falaaz no more. Strive struggled with it, the thought that he might not be the one chosen. Still, there was no pushing the very real chance away, nor how lonely thinking of it made him feel. At the same time, the thought made him happy, because the people he loved would have found joy in each other's company.

Slowly the tall neko stepped towards the other man. He crouched slightly, putting his hands upon the rock and used his arms to lever his body just so. Strive didn't ask if he could lick away the dripping nectar from the other man's fingers, but did so anyway. The near transparent, sweet smelling, liquid tasted wonderful, like nothing he'd ever had before. Once he had cleaned Salis's hand, he tilted his head up to meet the other man's breath taking sapphire eyes with his own gaze. "So long as you're happy, Salis, I can live with whatever you decide." And yet, he couldn't help but think of how miserable Rue would be if he failed to catch the sweet neko's heart. Rue would become Falaaz immediately if he were rejected.

Strive had never seen his younger brother so taken, so in love, with anyone before... It was obvious to him what had happened. Even if he didn't love his mate, Strive knew he could find someone, but his brother ... A troubled look swept across his features for a brief moment before Strive pushed it aside for a smile.