I started dating about a year after my first husband died and most of the guys were my age or older. NONE of them wanted more kids or have much to do with mine because they were accustomed to dating divorced women or those who never had kids - not a widow with a young child. Some of the guys I dated who were younger didn't want kids either. I think it's a matter of finding one who is career-minded enough to acknowledge you have career goals as well and zero interest in kids ever. I have friends in long-term relationships and marriages who also found someone who didn't want children, so they are out there!!

Little Bird - MBD are one of my favorite bands. I saw them live last summer and it was amaaaazing. I've got to get around to uploading the video someday. If you dig that song, check out White Noise, my favorite song of theirs. They have a lot more uptempo songs too, though. Some rousing, folksy drinking songs.

5 AM?! Good lord, I wasn't even in bed yet at 5 am. Nap! Nap!

Elmira - Well it's not so much because I want to focus on my career, though that's a factor too. It's more that I'm just not really a big fan of kids. I don't have the patience for them. But yeah, maybe I'll catch a break in 20 years when all the guys who wanted kids have already had them and are divorced...

Have you found a guy since?

@Cherry:: I have to admit, I love the singer's voice. He reminds me of a famous country singer... thaaaat I can't remember the name of. Urgh. I have the memory of a gold fish some days. Herp derp. Either way, thanks for introducing me to them. I really like them, and I know it's something my hubby will love too. It's the sort of band I'd want to see live at a bar... kinda goes with your drinking comment, eh? xD Too bad I'm not 21 until the the 29th of this month. Pffft.

The show I saw them at was in a bar, actually! I hadn't started drinking yet at that point, but it was the perfect environment. Here's a shot of the venue (but with some other band playing):


And since we're on the topic now: As Long as There is Whiskey in the World

Originally Posted by Cherry Who?

Elmira - Well it's not so much because I want to focus on my career, though that's a factor too. It's more that I'm just not really a big fan of kids. I don't have the patience for them. But yeah, maybe I'll catch a break in 20 years when all the guys who wanted kids have already had them and are divorced...

Have you found a guy since?

Sorry, Cherry! I should have explained: My first husband and I met when I was in my late 20s and he died shortly after I turned 40, so the dating pool was very weird for me when I was 40+ ! I do recall dating a few guys when I was younger who did not want kids. Yes, I found someone else and he's my son's father.

Totally understandable about not being a fan of kids. My own I am cool with but there are a few... hundred... I could live without ever having met them. I think it took me two weeks volunteering in a pre-K to realize there was no way I should consider going into education. Ever.

I'll have to check out the music y'all are talking about!

Yeah, in general, kids aren't for everyone. To be honest, until I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and had surgery to remove an ovary.... I didn't want them, myself. It wasn't until that, and I met my current husband, that I had a change of heart. Now? I would give anything to be a mommy. It's hard when you struggle with infertility. I guess it's a case of, "you don't know what you've got until it's gone," kinda thing. Although, we haven't been actively trying to conceive because of finances. We want the best for our kids, so we're trying to wait until I get through these last two years of college and find a steady career.

//random input about kids and babies... and whatever xD

Elmira - Congrats on finding another good guy, then!

It's not that haaaaaate kids, I just... really dislike them. Like my cousins' kids, I can talk to them and play with them, but the second they start throwing a tantrum or something I'm like "oh my god get this tiny monster away from me." and I work retail, so I see plenty of kids being brats all around the store. I know a lot of that is down to parenting, but shit, I don't know anything about parenting! And I just don't have the patience or selflessness or... anything it takes to be a parent. I'm good with having kitties and being a caring, loving figure for my friends and significant other.

When I was religious (and, okay, for a while when I wasn't), I volunteered with the sunday school classes for 4 and 5 year olds. I didn't teach, I just acted as teacher's helper in getting snacks and projects ready, helping the kids, escorting them to the restroom, etc. I don't know if it was something in the church's water or what, but they were almost all the best behaved kids I had ever met. Maybe they were told to always be good at church and saved their rambunctiousness, tantrums, etc. for home, but... wow, they were all very sweet, good kids. If I could have a kid and have the guarantee that they would be like that 24/7, I might be willing! But of course that's impossible.

Little Bird - Want some of my eggs?

@Cherry:: I would not complain! xD Thanks for the offer, lmao. I'm just hoping to avoid fertility treatments. I've heard so many horror stories. D:

---------- Post added 04-04-2014 at 08:23 PM ----------

Asdfghjkl;! Once I hit like, level 18 or 19 my computer starts freezing with that fan girl game. So frustrating. xD I really need a PC instead of a laptop for this sorta thing.

That's been a problem since the game came out. Freezing up at high levels.

I might actually donate eggs at some point in my life. I do feel bad for the people who can't have kids when they want to, and it's not like I'm using my eggs, so might as well even things out, right? I might be a desirable donor, though, since mild mental illness runs in my family...

I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 16yo and went through a very short period of fertility treatments - was pregnant pretty quickly. Then... nada. We were both okay about it and after I became a bit difficult to live with (sugar coating!!) during fertility treatment for a few months, we scrubbed the mission.

Current spousal unit and I thought we wouldn't be able to have kids and we were okay about it. He was also told he couldn't father children. I thought I was going through anything but a pregnancy with our son. Saying this to ya, Little Bird, because I know how hard the fertility thing is to deal with and the outcome is very hard to predict. I am pretty sure, though, things have improved with fertility treatments. I mean, leeches and so on are probably not used anymore. The meds and procedures used currently were not available back then, so if the horror stories of what other women went through concern you, don't let it dissuade you. Talk to your doctors when you guys are ready.

I don't really hate/loathe/etc other kids, I just don't comprehend some of their behavior. My kids have issues because of autism, so my son (in particular) is very likely one who would be pitching a fit in a store IF toys were there. Mind looping on a single thought and it remains unresolved or he doesn't think he's being heard. We leave when it gets to that point because I know how annoying it can be for other people who are or aren't parents. I can't walk around saying "my son has autism and this is a typical meltdown for him, please be patient". Nope. We leave. I even switch food orders "to go" if we're in a restaurant and he gets ranty. Doesn't happen often, but man.

//falls in, covers up
//has no idea what's going on

I was away for the weekend... but now I've returned! I just splurged and bought two new CDs. I very rarely buy CDs, but I'm getting tired of listening to the radio on my long commutes. Come to think of it, I've been splurging a lot lately... having a job is nice.

Elmira, where is that purple hat you're wearing from? I'm so behind on items.

Which ones did you buy?

The hat is from the Moustache Bros CI.

I bought Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die! by Panic at the Disco, and Supermodel by Foster the People. I was going to link to the Amazon pages for those albums so the little 30 second clips could be accessed, but I can barely get Amazon to load at the moment. :/

Someone mentioned Panic at the Disco because they performed at the uni I live nearby, and I thought it was just an event - not a band! They performed with Third Eye Blind, whom I've heard of before... Bad of me, hunh? Sounds like good music - I'll have to check it out.

Well, this is the song that convinced me they were a great band, if that helps.

Very cool and thank you for sharing the link! I'll keep an eye out for them since I've now heard them mentioned twice in as much as a week.

Cherry Who?: I are a so sorry! Didnt see this message because ive been moving house and havent had interwebs for a few weeks. I've got them now but theyre fairly unreliable! What is it that it is that is missing from this thread that I am required to have been present for to produce for the thread? Or some such?

I'm gonna be honest, I didn't understand that last sentence at all. But you're here to hang out with me and other people and you're gonna talk with us, and you're gonna like it.

... Aaand I've just realized that I haven't gone back to that antique store to get that fart battle bookend set for you. It's a bit far away (about an hour and a half from my house), so... I'm scum. If you're still interested in it, I can try to get it this weekend. I spend the weekends with the boyf, who is only about 30 mins away from that place. It's then more about finding time to get out there between our lovey dovey couple date stuff.

fart bottle?O.o

Yes, it does make one wonder.

How is everyone's day thus far?

FART. BATTLE.

---------- Post added 04-09-2014 at 02:04 AM ----------

Ferra: Girl, I see you goin' around the forums, not hanging out in my thread. Get in here.

Wth, that is the most random thing I think I have ever seen. Strange indeed

The fart battle bookends. I have to wonder WHO came up with the idea and why?? Oh the humanity!

It's quite funny, actually!

It is strange, but yes quite funny. I find I can't help but chuckle.