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SuperZombiePotatoe
Spudd
☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 01:30 PM
I'm back. Got called away by movies and avi making
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Sleepy Anarchy
Mad King - Sass Queen
☆
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10-18-2014, 01:34 PM
Where is hummy!?
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SuperZombiePotatoe
Spudd
☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 01:38 PM
She was here a minute ago...
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 01:45 PM
DAFUQ WUT
I fail at sleeping for just a few hours and I miss seeing hummy?
*bangs head on desk*
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SuperZombiePotatoe
Spudd
☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 01:46 PM
She might still be around.
*puts pillow under Vera's head*
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Citrus Hammer
Orange Sheepie
☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 01:59 PM
I'ma disappear soon, but I made my undead priestess/nun so much better :D
Last edited by Citrus Hammer; 10-18-2014 at 02:07 PM..
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Sleepy Anarchy
Mad King - Sass Queen
☆
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10-18-2014, 02:23 PM
Did Hummy see the auctioneer?
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 02:58 PM
I just sent THAT message to my bf...
Letting him know I can't do the romance thing anymore...
I feel so awful, I hope he doesn't hate me...
T_T;
I mean, it's not like he really liked the other half of me anyway (I know she didn't much like him and I being together either), so I just hope we can still be friends or whatever...
Still, it feels really bad.
I'm a shitty person.
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Pistachio_Moustache
Thief of Your Intellectual Prope...
☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 03:00 PM
But if he didn't like your other half...then it wasn't a good idea to begin with.
He has to like both of you, and both of you have to like him.
Sorry you're feeling bad.
D:
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Sleepy Anarchy
Mad King - Sass Queen
☆
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10-18-2014, 03:03 PM
She's right. You were kind of a package deal, it's just that you could be split up a bit. Now it's all in one.
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SuperZombiePotatoe
Spudd
☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 03:04 PM
I don't think Vera should feel bad. If it didn't work, it didn't work. It wasn't anyone's fault.
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Maha-Aamir
Meow!
☆☆☆☆☆
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10-18-2014, 03:20 PM
hi guys... my kids got chicken pox  and they are in the middle of their exams...
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HIM_ROCK
NPC
☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 03:25 PM
Are they still contagious ?
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SuperZombiePotatoe
Spudd
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10-18-2014, 03:28 PM
Oh damn! Are they?
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 03:49 PM
I had the pox when I was little, apparently the worst of it was that I enjoyed scratching it. My mum was horrified. I guess kids see things differently sometimes.
And yeah, I kinda knew I couldn't keep up a whirlwind online romance anyway, let alone as a whole person (and not just a disconnected creative half with an overactive hoo-ha) who's different than the one he met.
He hasn't responded, and it's probably because he was so happy to see me again and I had to let him down.
I really do love him, and that's part of why I couldn't pretend things hadn't changed. It would be like lying to both of us.
My Berksey side likes him well enough, but I can't think of him the same way anymore, or feel that way about him, you know? I went all last week without even thinking of sex, and it doesn't even bother me. I know that's not some great revelation unless you know me really well, but it's a major difference.
And I can draw.
I can remember things, too! My memory has always been fucked-up, but now I can remember everything just like anyone else!
It's fucking awesome, but I still feel bad. I never wanted to hurt anyone, especially someone I love.
I just can't do that to him or me, pretend something that isn't so. If I don't feel it, I mean, if I don't actually have any desire there for someone in that way, I can't just fake it and lie.
I know I'm doing the right thing, but it just hurts, is all.
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Maha-Aamir
Meow!
☆☆☆☆☆
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10-18-2014, 03:50 PM
yup... the Doctor said no school for a week... i will go talk to the principal on Monday.
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 03:53 PM
Maha, it should be fine, as long as they know it's an actual contagious thing you're preventing.
When I was little, I think they actually hoped we'd all get it, so as to get it over with all at once, lol.
At least once it's passed, they'll be immune!
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Maha-Aamir
Meow!
☆☆☆☆☆
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10-18-2014, 03:59 PM
yeah... but they are having their term paper and my son really did hard work for it, he always gets a position in his class... my daughter is quite happy with her predicament though
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 04:13 PM
Aw crap... this is it.
I get to read his response... to the equivalent of a lame-ass breakup note.
Wish me luck, I really hope this isn't going to ruin my whole week...
*prepares to cry*
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Pistachio_Moustache
Thief of Your Intellectual Prope...
☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 04:16 PM
I'm here for you, Vera!
//prepares box of tissues
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 04:34 PM
That went... surprisingly well.
I mean, I'm still crying, but he doesn't hate me or anything, he said he'd sort of anticipated something like this was going to happen sooner or later, with the whole integration thing... He related it to a video game, so I think he's probably coping with it better than I am.
And he's willing to wait and see, just like I am.
I can't believe I just broke it off with a perfect gentleman.
I don't know if I should feel better or worse for that.
*wipes her eyes and carries on*
Oh well, this is life, and I'm living it, and it'll all be fine somehow.
I just wasn't expecting him to be so understanding.
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Citrus Hammer
Orange Sheepie
☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 05:04 PM
Alright, I'm still lost.
Vera has a split personality? And this whole integrating business is attempting to merge them?
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 05:14 PM
No, integration is merging.
I was two people (to put it bluntly, because I couldn't cope with being violently and repeatedly raped at an early age), one was my child self, and one was my (perhaps overly-) adult self. Now I'm just me.
I'm someone completely other, who is made out of two people who were one person who got split into two. Yes, it's supposed to make sense, lol.
Apparently, I was more than two, even, but the others were more "fragmentary" or whatever. Like the Bogeyman. He was Ermy's guardian, but he's not been around lately. He's not needed anymore. I was afraid I'd go away, too, but I'm a major part of the whole, so I'm still here, I just get to be Erma, too. My real self.
Basically, I was able to stop hoodwinking myself and shorting out my memory and ruining my life, by getting both of my main halves to face what had happened, and to know that it's okay to be outraged by awful shit, and that it wasn't my fault.
I had this breakthrough as a direct result of going off my meds, quitting therapy, being ass-out and broke, and having nothing better to do than talk to myself about it all. We understand each other to the point that we share our whole mind now. There's no "we" any more, but we're still getting used to it.
I like My Little Pony. I can draw. I like Black Metal. I can cook. I can sew, and write books and design an outfit. I can leave the house. I can sleep naked without waking up in clothes. I can go to bed knowing I won't secretly be up and doing things unsupervised without my own knowledge.
In short, I'm getting well.
We're both still here, but we're me now. I'm just logged in as Vera, lol.
Nice to meet you, my name is Veronica. I was sick but I'm better now. I hope it's all not too confusing, I know it still messes with me, lol.
There's a reason they call it insanity.
Last edited by VeraDark; 10-18-2014 at 05:19 PM..
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Citrus Hammer
Orange Sheepie
☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-18-2014, 05:34 PM
Ah, I got it now. Thanks for that explanation :)
It sucks that all that happened to begin with, but getting better is a good thing.
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VeraDark
fgsfds
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10-18-2014, 05:54 PM
Getting better is the best thing ever.
And now, to repeat myself for the umpteenth time, I go sleeps, lol.
*goes to bed*
Goodnight, Mene! Have a fantastic day!
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