Good! Show your body who's boss!

He really is amazing! He puts up with so much from me right now, and doesn't complain about it. I'm not really sure how he does it. But yeah. I love him, dearly!

If I ever have time, I'll give them a try - I've a feeling that this series will take me up (probably) till when Sophia gets here, and then I'll not have a lot of free time on my hands. But I can add them onto the ever growing list of things that should be read. :P

Haha, yes. I will tell it who is boss dangit.

Awww, that is so cute!

Haha, yeah. I'm an obnoxiously fast reader so books never last me as long as they should. Unless I don't like the book, then it takes AGES.

Hopefully it'll choose to listen.

He's my Boo. But shush we aren't telling him that I told you I call him that.

I can be a fast reader, but lately I seem to just have too much on my mind to be able to fully concentrate on reading, even when no one is home to distract me. xD

Haha, well, you have a lot of things going on, so that makes a lot of sense. What else do you do to keep yourself occupied?

Well, I've decided to try to teach myself how to knit again. It's not going so well. And I've also been working on the journal that I have been keeping for Sophia, as a log of how things have been going. And also working on writing down Oliver stories into my document I've got and been working on for quite some time now. And sleeping a lot. And also getting on here more than normal. I've not been too interesting.

That is quite a bit to keep your mind and body occupied! I know it has to be driving you a little nuts sitting still. Oh. Soki taught herself to crochet by watching youtube videos because I failed utterly when I tried to teach her (poor kid!). We're using it as occupational therapy and she is having a blast exploring a new way of expressing her creativity.

Originally Posted by LiviInLove

Well, I've decided to try to teach myself how to knit again. It's not going so well. And I've also been working on the journal that I have been keeping for Sophia, as a log of how things have been going. And also working on writing down Oliver stories into my document I've got and been working on for quite some time now. And sleeping a lot. And also getting on here more than normal. I've not been too interesting.

Oh my gosh, that actually sounds like a lot to me!

Originally Posted by Elmira Swift

That is quite a bit to keep your mind and body occupied! I know it has to be driving you a little nuts sitting still. Oh. Soki taught herself to crochet by watching youtube videos because I failed utterly when I tried to teach her (poor kid!). We're using it as occupational therapy and she is having a blast exploring a new way of expressing her creativity.

Awww, that is awesome! I want to learn to knit but I have no patience.

Okay, bedtime for me guys! Goodnight!

Originally Posted by steelmagghia

Oh my gosh, that actually sounds like a lot to me!


Awww, that is awesome! I want to learn to knit but I have no patience.

Okay, bedtime for me guys! Goodnight!

Haha, I tend to try to do too much and then give up on it all as I can't seem to focus.

Sleep well hon!

Originally Posted by Elmira Swift

That is quite a bit to keep your mind and body occupied! I know it has to be driving you a little nuts sitting still. Oh. Soki taught herself to crochet by watching youtube videos because I failed utterly when I tried to teach her (poor kid!). We're using it as occupational therapy and she is having a blast exploring a new way of expressing her creativity.

I hate having to just sit still. And oh, I could try that! MY gran taught me to knit years ago - I wonder if I can re-teach myself through youtube.

I learned how to knit and crochet by a lovely lady in a home ec class in the Dark Ages. Made the ubiquitous baby blanket for Soki when I went into nesting mode, but Otto arrived 5 weeks early. Started one for him but no idea where it went off to!

I can sit in one place for a while, but I have to be doing something even if I'm watching TV. I just fidget too much otherwise.

I'm in full nesting mode, and can't do anything about it... it's driving me absolutely bloody mental! D:

I'm sorry. I'll change the subject! I'm trying to convince hubster to go ahead and go on an interview this week. One company called - huge corporation with a vastly superior benefits package - and he had a great phone interview with one of the managers, not an HR person. But he is reluctant because the pay and commute are about the same. Another company is moving to our town and should open in July. He has an interview with them next week, but no pre-interview and no information about the company like pay/benefits/etc. I'm feeling some pressure because the job I have is kind of a throw away job and isn't relevant to my career. In fact, if I stay with it too long, it could hinder me in the future. If we could get the kids on better insurance, I could work either more hours with the job I have or focus on something closer to my education/training.

So, I need to make some decisions, but a lot of it hinges on what hubster decides to do. I'm back to contemplating, which is annoying.

I say he should go for it, and see where it goes and if he likes the people when he meets them in person, but maybe also go in for the other job interview to see what he thinks of them and which one is better. Would he go for that?

My concern is he is going to contact the one company before he leaves work today, if he hasn't already, and cancel. The thing is, if we can have the kids on a company insurance plan, I can work more hours. Otherwise, I wind up basically working to pay off student loans with nothing left. If I have "some" earned income, I have to start making payments when I'm reevaluated. Wouldn't be a big deal to me if I could earn more than what the payment may be without risking the loss of insurance for the kids.

The place he works at now offers very sketchy insurance. It's expensive with a $5k deductible and none of the kids' doctors will accept it. If I earn even a bit more than I do now then the kids lose the income-based insurance. So, I'm kinda nudging hubster to at least go for the interview. I am still scratching my head over why he is reluctant since he was offered a job less than a year ago with Delta for significantly less pay than he has now plus a longer commute - and he wanted to accept it! This other job is closer and pays the same as he's earning now and will be more likely to offer him a raise at decent intervals - unlike the place he's at now. It's just nutty to me.

I don't think he should cancel the other interview, because it's good to go to both, tell the first before he goes to the second and just tell them that he is still waiting on something else and working on figuring out what's best. And going from there.

Geeze, that sounds like not very good with the insurance right now. It is nutty! Sometimes I question men's logic! :/

We had a good chat once he came home. I was unaware that this was for a job with 12-hour shifts, 3 days on, 2 off. He's worried he won't be home much, so I understand why he's hesitant. It's also a night shift and he'd be away from home up to 15 hours a day when he works. He's worked a schedule like this before but it was closer to home.

He's going to the interview and will go to the one next week. He filled me in on a few more details about the other job, so I'm less concerned about it. He also thinks I should hold off on working until we know what he will be offered.

Oh, that makes sense why he's hesitant now! Hopefully everything will work out with things for y'all. :]

I totally get you on the insurance concerns, Elmira. I haven't had insurance since I was 26 and it has been very hard. I rarely go to the doctor even if I'm very sick. And I have to do some sketchy things to get my antidepressants. I have a likely thyroid problem that I can't do anything about. It's very difficult.

I hear you. Our state rescinded some laws that would have helped us find private insurance for the kids as a way to spank the state for Obamacare. I think the only way I've had it myself recently was when during my last pregnancy and now I'm heading toward the Pause and more old lady junk. Woo hoo!

Is your depression situational or ongoing? More reason to keep fingers crossed so you can get a job teaching

Yeah. I live in Texas, so Medicaid has been slashed to nothing, and the Obamacare quotes for me are obscene because I make too little to get the subsidies. Joy.
My depression is a forever thing. I have Major Depressive Disorder. In vet school it was so bad that I got depression induced dementia. Which is why I failed so miserably. I keep up with all the research and everything but there are large chunks of vet school I have no memory of. I can only remember certain professors names. It was awful.

But now I'm better medicated and my stress load is waaaay less. But insurance will eventually be very much required. And thank you. I really want this job for so many reasons, but the insurance is definitely one of them!

My best friend from elementary and I reconnected several months ago and she has the same thing. I remember how it would seemingly strike out of nowhere when we were kids, so it was not surprising to hear she's had some issues trying to manage it now. My sister's is more situational though. Yeah. It's no joking matter and I take it seriously when someone says they're struggling with it.

We are home!! Kids running around outside during the meeting and Soki seemed to have a good time as well!

Yeah, it's pretty serious stuff. But luckily I respond to treatment pretty well as long as it's the right kind. I do better when I can afford therapy too, but obviously with no insurance, I obviously can't afford that. But as long as I can keep getting my Paxil, and I avoid high stress situations (i.e. don't go back to vet school). It's funny how many people try to tell me all these "natural" cures for it and crap. And by funny, I mean it makes me kind of furious. People use the word depressed for sad so often that it ceases to mean anything properly.

I do understand, and until I had people close to me going through similar situations, I was clueless. Sorry you've experienced difficulties with people who are clueless I'm glad you found a med that works for you! A close friend is an acupuncturist, and even he will tell people some things like depression are beyond his ability to treat effectively. Right now, he's running a program to help war veterans with PTSD with his acupuncture techniques alongside psychologists/psychiatrists.

See, that's awesome. I don't mind supportive things. If all else fails acupuncture can at least relieve some of the muscle tension associated with the stress of depression. But yeah, unless you can change the chemistry in the brain, you can't fix depression. And I mean, St. John's Wort does have some effect on brain chemistry, but it's too mild for severe depression. Plus, it isn't very strictly controlled, so there is no telling how much of it there is in a supplement or how potent it is. Part of the reason we DON'T use strictly plant based medicine is because of the unreliability of plants. Willow bark has the same ingredient as aspirin in it. But depending on the weather, soil, insects, and the tree, you never know exactly how much. So we made pills where we could measure it out and say "this pill has exactly 25 mg of salycilic acid".

Very true, every word you said. One weird thing about autistic conditions is we don't always respond well to psychiatric meds. I've had situational depression and anxiety and usually experience the worst side effects. Brain isn't wired well for them, and it seems pretty typical for us. Some herbal remedies are okay, but it's hit or miss as you said.

Yeah. It doesn't help that science is still trying to work through the autistic spectrum all on its own. It's a pretty difficult to understand condition. My cousin has Asperger's and ADHD and it's kind of hit or miss whether or not the medication will work that day. Anyway, it's time for me to get to bed. I need to shower before my muscles freeze up.