I haven't done it yet, but, my idea of the perfect first date?

I'd set it all up beforehand. A maze made of lilac bushes, it's early June so every blossom is in bloom. I'll lead her through the maze to the centre, where one of those white stone tea tables is waiting. A light lunch is prepared, if she likes wine I'd have her favourite kind, and a friend dressed up and playing the violin a few feet away.
We'd have dinner, and then go for a walk in the maze, talking and enjoying the smell of the lilacs in the air and the grass under our feet.

*sigh*

So it's Valentine's day.
A guy I went to high school with has started talking to me a few weeks ago, and we're having a good time chit-chatting on Facebook and enjoying an occasional lunch. The holiday rolls through and we both mention how boring it can be, then he suggests we "hang out and grab a movie." I think, sweet, I've got nothing to do and there are some great movies coming up.
I saw a pretty bad movie, but during I pull out my gum and open up a piece. Around this moment he moves his hand to my armrest and fiddles with my hand; I'm not paying much attention so I think he wants some gum and I hand it to him. His flustered expression makes me think "Oh, he's not a fan of cinnamon gum," and I forget about it.

Afterwards, we have dinner at a Chinese restaurant and talk about high school and a new game he wants to develop. Before we part, he asks if I'm gay because "all the guys in school made fun of me for having a crush on a lesbian" and I'm not able to really reply with more than a jaw-drop before he's out the door.

I never considered it a date, but what the fuck, right?

@jupiter: Well that was pretty rude of him. =/ It's lame when people try to blame/shame you for not falling for them. I know from experience that it sucks not having your feelings requited, but that doesn't give you the excuse to lash out at the person you supposedly like.

I had a guy approach me at a bar as I was paying my bill. He complimented me and implied he wanted to get me a drink. I told him "sorry, I'm leaving now". I guess he took that as rejection and replied "Fine, you're not that attractive anyway!" =/ What a dick.

If a person asks me to go to the movies and then dinner with them, I can tell they think it's a date, usually... if it's someone I'm not interested in that way, I try to be careful about letting them down.

But, I can see going out with someone as a friend thing, and being surprised to find out they thought it was a date.

I've met guys before who just assumed I knew they liked me that way, and when I found out it surprised me. They think we're all mind-readers or something. Believe it or not, it sometimes takes someone days or even weeks to get up the courage to ask someone else out, and then as soon as they're not rejected, they think it's all a success and you're now their significant other or something similar. And then the moment you say otherwise, they freak out and get all embarrassed or heartbroken. It's weird, I know.

And it doesn't help that a lot of people think that the only reason a member of the opposite sex would talk to them or hang out with them is that they want to get with them. As if all men are restricted to having male friends, and women can only have female friends, and any crossover implies the desire for an intimate relationship. It's a crock of pooh. I have male and female friends, hang out with each and every one of them together and separately, and they get that it's okay to do that. That's part of why I consider them my friends.

As for strangers taking things personally, well, people can be jerks sometimes, but at least you didn't let him buy you that drink, Ferra. It might have led to you liking him before finding out he was an insecure, passive-aggressive buttcheek.

@VeraDark: I've also gone out with guy friends and guy acquaintances to dinners and movies tons of times and they weren't dates. Some of them felt like "pre-dates", but never turned into anything and there were a few I legitimately thought were dates but turned out not to be. Actually, I think I've only ever been on a date once where I was 100% positive it was a date before I went because the guy called it a date. Even with my now-fiance I was unsure for a while since they seemed like dates but we took a long time to become more than platonic.

So I can totally understand and sympathize for people who can't really guage if their romantic interest feels the same way since I also suck at "reading the signs". But its really crummy when people lash out at the object of their affections just to recover their pride or something. Sour grapes, I guess.

And yes, definitely! I just felt like the comment was wholly unnecessary since I had no obligation to him whatsoever to agree to a drink and I wasn't even rude or intentionally spurring his advances. =/ Ah well...

I had a really... picturesque first date.
I was fairly young at the time, grade 7 or 8 I think. Anyways, the guy who took me had liked me for forever, and I ended up giving up and going on a date with the boy.
He took me out to the forest, snow had just fallen, and the sun was out. Everything was really pretty, sparkling, rather like something out of a romance novel. We had a lovely picnic, and then I got my first kiss.
Which, well, I didn't end up liking all that much, but hey- A for effort :P

I think my first "date" was in Gaia Towns

My perfect date would be a 2 person all night lan party

Ferra: hnng!
What a turd! I'm sorry he said that to you, although I'm hoping he had a terrible week after he did it. I don't know what gets into people sometimes, but they can be remarkably rude. And bars are like the feeding ground for real-life garbage.

I didn't feel it was a lash-out at the time, but it gave a little insight as to what people thought of me when I didn't care about them. I still don't understand the attitude that if they're not into you, there must be something wrong with them.

Syrri, don't feel bad, not every first kiss is all it's cracked up to be, or even most of them, from what I can tell... Mine was another girl, and it was a little weird, but I sort of liked it. I just wasn't any good at kissing, myself.

And Poet, LAN parties as dates would probably be way better than the majority of mine. I should have tried it before, maybe I would have liked it more.

Jupiter: I totally agree, that sort of overt manipulation is so blatant, and yet people actually get away with it, and that's really sad.

Ferra, your experience with that guy probably happens way more than we'd like to think, and it's a shame that sort of ignorant and insecure attitude is so prevalent these days. People think they can instantly get something, and then throw a tantrum when they can't.

Do they really think a loving relationship can be had as fast as ordering a burger and fries at a Mickey D's? That they're just so cool you'd have to fall for them at first meeting, because girls are all vapid little twits, and attach themselves to guys like starving kittens on a tin of cheap cat food?

I mean, what the hell, really?

Sorry vera... for my gender...

Perfect First Date?

Something I haven't experienced before. I don't like traditional stuff like movies or restaurants. It's boring. I like creative stuff. Something weird or what you'd least expect.

Cole - Rock climbing?

Never done it before but i'd be up for that.

What kind of unexpected things do you do?

Not much as of the last year.

I'd just prefer something that is atypical. Anything really. Something to get away from the normality of the world.

Well you could take them on a date online... sure lacking normality there

But...a date online would either be a video game session or...er...a video game session...

There's not that many options for online "dates" because finding things to do together requires lots of coordination.

Lan party :D
Snuggle and play games at the same time


I totally want to have a date like this someday. Cuddling and videogames all at once

But how would I...concentrate...if....you know what...and i'm trying to play a game...

Hmmm....

There's a few issues with that but I guess that could work.

Originally Posted by The Wandering Poet

Lan party :D
Snuggle and play games at the same time


I totally want to have a date like this someday. Cuddling and videogames all at once

I busy out laughing at that and I'm in class!
It would be.. Too hot

Really? I think it'd be comfy.

@ Cole - Play a game that doesn't matter if you lose

That looks more like an endurance test.

And, I don't know about first dates; I want to assume that most of the dating world had an awkward first date. The sort of dates I like are when we're dressed up and very formal.

First dates are awkward as a rule. Whether it's your first date ever, or your first date with a given person. I talked in my other post about how cute my first date was with my boyfriend, but to be honest, the first hour or so was painfully awkward.

We had been talking on Skype for a good two weeks prior, so we were already into each other. So I expected things to go really well. Then when we sat down to eat before the fireworks, he just sort of... zoned out. Super quiet. I could barely get any words out of him and he didn't look like he was enjoying himself. What I found out later was that he's a big people watcher and apparently just got too caught up in that. Plus, he thought he saw someone giving beer to a baby so he was glaring that way trying to figure out what was going on. Once we left the cafe he got much more sociable, but that first 40 minutes... oh god. All I could think was "DISASTER, ABORT, WHAT DID I DO, OH GOD, HE HATES ME OH NOOOO." I still give him grief about that sometimes.

People watchers... we need a club

People watching is fun, as long as you're being included and in the loop!

I'll start out with a horror story - I met a guy for coffee. We had started talking on that Tinder app, but we really hadn't had a real conversation. He waited two weeks til I was back from vacation to go out with me. We got coffee, sat outside on a nice day, and realized we had NOTHING in common. We sat and talked AT each other for two whole hours. It was miserable. Needless to say, I never contacted him again, and I never heard from him either!

The best first date I've ever had is actually with someone who things didn't work out with! We met for coffee (sensing a trend here...), and then went and walked around Barnes & Noble and talked about our favorite authors, bands, video games, etc. etc. Then, we went out to dinner, and after dinner we sat in his car and talked. The whole date lasted about 8 hours. We just kept coming up with stuff to do. It was crazy, normally I don't want to be around people for that long.

The funniest (but a runner up for best first date!) date I've had is with a guy I'm currently dating. I was trying to go meet him for dinner, but my car was dead. x__x SO, I had just texted that I was on my way, and then I had to text him AGAIN like "uh... my car is dead. It won't start." He has an iPhone so I could see that he "read" my message but didn't respond. I started freaking out, because I really like him and didn't want him to think I was blowing him off, so I sent him ANOTHER text saying "It sounds like I'm lying but I swear I'm not!!" Turns out he was just trying to see if he had jumper cables - he did, so he came over and tried to jump my car. No dice. We went on our date, went out to dinner and got a HUGE pizza (which he let me take home all the leftovers!) and then walked around Toys R Us for a while reminiscing about our childhood. When he took me back home, we got my car started, but he let me keep his jumper cables "just in case." So I joked about how that was my endgame all along, now he would HAVE to talk to me if he wanted his jumper cables back! He just laughed and said he would have anyway. And then he kissed me good night!

Moral of the story: I date too much probably... :P