Sit down kids, Aunt Cherry is going to tell you a story. Once upon a two hours ago, I was sitting in this very room, at this very desk, eating my dinner of fried rice. It was at that moment that I managed to fuck up the simple process of swallowing so severely that I ended up with an entire piece of corn in my sinuses. No, I didn't choke - that's common and forgiven. I just... I just swallowed the wrong way somehow. Then I had to blow an entire kernel of corn out of my nose. And they all lived happily ever after, the end.

So we all screw up. But sometimes we manage to screw up so intensely that all we can do is just sit back and laugh at how ridiculous we are. Tell me your stories. Through our laughter, we can together heal the pain of hardly being able to function.

I was expecting relationship drama... I got... a kernel of corn out the nose?

Most of my screw ups are socially. I end up saying some really stupid things, even here on mene. I only know because jelly whacks me upside the head and tells me.

I like to keep y'all on your toes.

My verbal fuck-ups include phrases such as "put it in the piggy jar" (piggy bank) and "I boughten it."

My verbal slip ups usually involve reading into something wrong. not knowing someone is joking. making unfunny jokes. poor social etiquette. etc.

I manage to burn myself every time I cook.

EVERY TIME.

Well yesterday, we were bringing in groceries and I happened to trip while carrying a gallon of milk (I am clumsy). Luckily, it didn't burst or anything, so I felt good.
But, while I was putting the thing away, it friggin exploded!!!! I don't even know how. Still, right know, I am just so confused. Like... Miiiilllkkkk, what you doing???

The milk was like "don't worry, I'm fine! ... PSYCH!"

Uni, does your milk do this when you make cereal?

Unfortunately this happens to me all the time. I've never done it on a corn kernel. But it doesn't feel pleasant at all.

Originally Posted by Pistachio_Moustache

I manage to burn myself every time I cook.

EVERY TIME.

Oh my! I do too. I was cooking(well, actually reheating. we don't have a microwave) some chicken in a bowl in the oven today. As I was pulling the rack out my hand hit the inside of the door. It still hurts. I have a really long burn mark on my 3rd finger.

Hey Cherry, we're twins! I too have ended up with corn in my sinuses. Because I pushed a piece into my ear canal as a child

How in the heck did you end up with a piece of corn in your nose? That sounds painful to get it out!

Most of my screw-ups seem to happen with daily life, nothing serious -- there are days where I keep falling UP the steps to the point where I'm surprised I haven't broken anything. One of my biggest screw-ups, though, happened when I was much younger. I burned my entire hand in Home EC class, I can't remember how but we were doing something with the ovens. And burned my hand.

Yesterday, I was baking bread and was still half asleep. I went to get it out of the oven but forgot the hot mits so I ended up burning my hand. I also dropped it on the floor and my parent's dog got a hold of it before I could pick it up.

Ah, oh no! You grabbed the pan with your bare hand?! That's just awful.

Biggles - In your ear to your sinuses? I didn't know the openings between them were big enough to allow for a piece of corn!

Yamka - Apparently I swallowed in the wrong direction. I don't know how, but the food went up instead of down.

Well, the ear canal is part of the sinuses, it's one of the drainage points like the nostrils...

It was a kernel of one of those jewel toned, heritage varieties of corn, and I found it really pretty. I was all "This is nice, I'm taking it home with me. But where can I put it in the meantime? Oh I know, my ear."

Oh, I know, I just didn't know there were any connections large enough to facilitate a corn kernel. Especially given that I put peroxide in my ears to clean them out and don't have peroxide foaming up my nose.

Kid logic.

It didn't get past the ear canal, thankfully. It still needed pinchers to get it out, though.

Oh, oh, okay. I thought you meant you stuck it in your ear and blew it out your nose. I'm relieved. My understanding of anatomy is not totally baseless.

I'm still trying to figure out how you managed that... I mean, how would you have to swallow to do that?! That's pretty impressive XD

My lovely mess up was yesterday. This weekend was the air show and open house for a local national guard air base and I wanted to go so badly because the Blue Angels were performing. I had watched the weather and it was supposed to be cool and cloudy with a decent chance of rain (I was worried it would end up cancelling the show). Now, I'm SUPER fair skinned so when it comes to outings I always have to wear sunscreen. From seeing the weather though, I wasn't sure if I should wear it or not. I kid you not, walking out the door I was even thinking, 'hmmm, I wonder if I should just in case'.

So, guess who's face, chest (had a v-cut shirt on), back and arms are this lovely vibrant, but oh-so painful red? Yup... It was wicked sunny out yesterday and the only thing that saved me was the fact I wore pants (my boyfriend didn't). I should be used to getting burned by now, but with how little I tend to be outside (especially in the time most people burn), this was my first burn of the season (and summer's already over XD).

Maybe I'll just stick to hiding inside and staying ghostly white >.>

It's actually relatively easy to do... but I think it requires coughing through the nose while it's at the right position. gets sucked up into the nose area from the back of the throat.

Yep, with my poor hands. Luckily they didn't blister up as much as I thought they would.

Today I did manage not to mess up my bread though! XD

Yay for not messing up!

I thought mine was going to blister the way it looked. Thank goodness it didn't. Just a burn mark. shoo!

Originally Posted by The Wandering Poet

Uni, does your milk do this when you make cereal?

UGH YES!!!! I hate it when that happens.

I've walked into a door frame once. Like not normally, but actually hit it with my shoulder as I THOUGHT I was passing through.
I've also accidentally shoved a fry up my nose instead of in my mouth.
And I've also walked into glass doors and into a mirror. That last one was just stupid because you would think that I would notice myself coming towards me, but nope.
It's a wonder I haven't crashed into something while driving. But surprisingly I operate a vehicle a thousand times better than my own two feet. xD

Oh, is walking into things considered a major cock up? Because I do that all the time >.>

I wear a hat for the sole purpose of reducing the damage of being clothes lined by trees if that's the case...