Evil incarnate they are, I tell you!



Don't be fooled by the innocent appearance, damn thing trolls me, always!


Altogether that makes one full side toasted, why do you do this to me...

Why do toasters hate us? We don't need this kind of shit at breakfast time.

So in a sense... it was a 'trollster'?

My toaster's settings keep getting changed to setting 5...a.k.a.... BURN YOUR BREAD.
Everyone in my house swears it isn't them changing it.
So...my toaster randomly turns its own dial, burns your bread, and forces you to restart breakfast....

Originally Posted by Captain Howdy

So in a sense... it was a 'trollster'?

Hahahahaha omg


Jelly: I've never really had that problem. Maybe it's the burners going out?

Lol jelly i think you just need a new toaster XD How long have you had that toaster?

I tried to use the defrost setting on mine. I only wanted my bread defrosted, not toasted. So to be safe, I turned it down to the lowest possible setting and hit the defrost button. Somehow the bread came out more thoroughly toasted than I usually get on the second setting... and, like yours, only half of it was that way. Thanks, toaster. Good job.

I've only ever had one toaster that toasted both sides of the slice evenly and generally could be trusted to not burn things

Oh but that one did have this warming option where you put your croissant etc. on the top. This setting didn't use the top quarter of the heating elements and while I applaud the idea it was a total failure. So, let's put a croissant on the top of the toaster and test this out!...What do we get? A croissant that's not warmed at all apart from the very bottom, which is burnt black!

Toasters/trollsters, I could get behind that, Howdy. I think they could well qualify as the most trolly of all kitchen appliances, they've got it down to a science xD This one of mine isn't that old, but it's never worked very well. It was a replacement for the croissant incinerator which I managed to blow one of the plates on one day by a piece of hot cross bun getting stuck in it, that tripped the whole flat's electricity, actually xD Toasters, they don't like to do things by halves!

Oh my goodness I hate toasters >. < this morning, I had toast for breakfast, and it decided "Hey. I'm gonna burn one side entirely, but not cook the other side." I think it's evil o.o

Makes me feel so much better to know I'm not alone in this, hell yeah, share that breakfast misery! Toasters are way up there on my list of what I call "the malignancy of machinery".

Might need to make a thread about that, to be honest.

Originally Posted by fireprincess

Hahahahaha omg


Jelly: I've never really had that problem. Maybe it's the burners going out?

That is what I was going to suggest. I have never seen a toaster do that. I use the toaster with the door and I don't have that problem.

Toast in general just trolls me. I like having my sandwiches with lightly toasted bread. The warm-crunchy combo of the bread offsets the cool-soft aspects of sandwich fillers nicely. But biting into a toasted sandwich just destroys the roof of my mouth up where it meets my front teeth. It'll be sore there for a good 24 hours after one toasted bread sandwich. C'mon, bread. :/

sjacklene - do you mean a toaster oven? We don't really have those in the UK, people either use an actual toaster, or make their toast under the grill in their cooker and have to turn it over themselves.

The elements are fine in my toaster. Well, by fine I mean in the same working order as they've always been, but as my toast clearly demonstrates, they don't heat up evenly on one side >< What I do, and what a lot of people do, is when the toast pops up flip it over and put it back in for a bit longer. This of course is when you run the risk of leaving it for too long, resulting in charcoal...

Because we all know that the time it takes a slice of bread to go from barely browned to pure carbon can be measured in nanoseconds! ><

I love toaster ovens simply because they don't need as much time to heat up as regular ovens, having a drastically smaller area and all. It's bad enough that my food has to bake, I don't want to also have to wait for my oven to get ready!

An interesting development on the toaster front for me today Well, as far as interesting and toaster can be used in the same sentence. I took the bold step of putting the bread in the back slot instead of the front one! I know, shocking rebellion, right? The result being:one side of the slice perfectly and completely toasted! The other side, also perfectly and completely toasted, just far more lightly.

So it still required the slice to be flipped over and redone for 30 seconds or so, but I class this as a great victory for humans in the never-ending battle against recalcitrant kitchen appliances! \o/

One time when I was little... I woke up to find mom beating a toaster with a broom in our driveway. Apparently she got up and toasted a pop tart for herself.. And the toaster burst into flame. She promptly tossed it outside and started trying to put it out with a broom.

That is the single greatest toaster story ever, Shank.

You guys know what kind of toaster I need in my life? THIS BAD BOY!!


Or maybe this model:


The bigger griddle seems better for my sausage and bacon needs. There's a hardware store that's been selling them for years, I've just never gotten one. Don't know why, the mini I saw was only 25 bucks.

I swear to God, today my toaster shot the toast at me

No-one is ever going to convince me that toasters aren't possessed!

Strange, that is a truly epic tale! Shame you didn't get a picture.

Those toaster ovens with the griddle do look rather excellent, have to say. But I don't drink coffee.

Originally Posted by Alexander J Luthor

That is the single greatest toaster story ever, Shank.

You guys know what kind of toaster I need in my life? THIS BAD BOY!!


Or maybe this model:


The bigger griddle seems better for my sausage and bacon needs. There's a hardware store that's been selling them for years, I've just never gotten one. Don't know why, the mini I saw was only 25 bucks.

AJ that is beautiful!! I currently use the broil function on my oven for toasting.I'm not a bit fan of bread but sometimes I want tuna melts.

Pshaaa!! Use them for tea or hot chocolate, silly! Don't add coffee, let the water boil and drop, then add your tea bag, or let the chocolate sit in the pot.

Longcat: Tuna melts are amazing. I had one for the first time in a while the other day. I hate hot mayo, but on a tuna melt it's delicious.

Possessed or either secretly sentient

If only I had a picture
It's a bit cold today and I thought "The toaster is on. It's warm. Let me go and stand there." And all of a sudden this piece of toast smacks me in the chin! I should have read this thread earlier. I would've known to be more careful around... them.

I was ten or so and it was like six am... I think somewhere buried in all of moms stuff she has a picture of the remains of that morning? She might have taken a few pictures? I don't know for sure..

Moms have entirely too many pictures.

Originally Posted by Alexander J Luthor

Moms have entirely too many pictures.

QFT!

Spudly - it knew...it knew you were going to read this thread today, so it went for a final assault while you were still unaware!

Shank - it's a shame your school didn't have you doing those "what I did at the weekend" writing things. The tale of your mum beating a toaster with a broom would surely have earnt you a gold star!

I thought this would be a thread about collapsing from shock when the toaster's done.