Thanks, Inzane!

I didn't get big roles, but I booked a couple of extra roles. :)
So I'll be in the background. But I might have one or two lines :D

Oh! I think that is exciting! Lots of actors started out as extras in the background!

I think extras and background things make everything better to be honest. Good luck with all of your rolls! We know you'll do spectacularly

Lots of times the background characters or the extras steal the scene heh

When I watch things I don't necessarily watch what I'm supposed to be watching like the pretty girl on the car I'm looking at the animals in the scene or the snow falling or the mountains and things like that so I might not be a typical viewer but I know what I like

I, too, am one who looks at the background and the setting and the faces of the people in the crowd. I also try to listen to background conversations behind the main focus of what I'm watching.

It's good to know I'm not alone. I kind of feel weird when somebody says did you see that and they're talking about like the main character and I didn't have a clue what was going on cuz I'm looking at everything else

I tend to take notice of the pictures on the walls and the nicknacks on the shelves and the flower arrangements on the table and such.

I've recently been trying to pay attention to people in the background of movies lately.

I've been so busy I haven't even gotten the chance to take a picture of my haircut and upload it! >3<

I'll try to post more frequently!

---------- Post added 08-30-2018 at 09:53 PM ----------

I wish I had more time to chat,
I really do. I feel so awful not talking to my friends...

But I think right now life is being rough...

I got into a fight with my half sister and there's drama going on in the family... On top of that, I have to put on a happy face and go to auditions, memorize lines, give them "character" and work hard on them, only to be told that I will be used as a "featured background" character... I have to deal with assholes who are supposed to be "professionals" (who are basically just actors who couldn't cut it in acting, so they switch over to 'teaching' acting classes or doing something else related to acting without actually acting...)... I've lost a couple of friends around this same time...

Because of this, my "schizophrenia " symptoms are slowly creeping back and I'm scared. I don't want to end up in the hospital again...

I feel like I am at the end of my rope.. It feels like NOTHING will help me. I'm on a very, very potent medication that was made specifically for treatment resistant schizophrenia... and it worked fine at first, but the symptoms are coming back.

I feel alone right now.

I try to keep my mental health stuff to myself, but I mean.. I'm just feeling so down right now. I feel like... I dunno. I just wish this would end.

*Sends Ava the love*

Have you thought about asking your doctor about complimentory treatments ? I remember hearing about someone, can't for the life of me remember what it was it was they did but it was a non-medication one that's all I remember, but they had I want to say like mindfullness therapy to go with their medication and although it wasn't a cure. It did help them deal with schizophrenia to a point they could make the voices more background noise.

Thanks, HIM

My psychiatrist recommended that I try CBT. (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) I was doing so well earlier, so she said I probably didn't need to do it anymore...
I was feeling fine until recently. I think stress makes my "symptoms" worse... And lately I've been having drama with my family and friends.

I can ask my therapist about doing mindfulness. She gave me some grounding techniques to use for PTSD, but other than that, we haven't worked on cognition yet.

I just feel so terrible...

It feels like... like people are giving up on me. That's always the worst feeling in the world for me.

I know that I am diagnosed with "treatment-resistant schizophrenia".. but what's the difference between being "gifted", being "indigo", or being "spiritual" and being "schizophrenic"??

Ava...I wonder if the seasons changing has any affect on you.
Sometimes Sarah's seizure activity increases when the seasons change.
Please know that we are hear to listen to you when you need to talk. Sometimes just talking and knowing that someone is listening can help wonders.
Make sure to tell your therapist how you feel...about feeling like everyone is giving up on you.
I hope things get better for you real soon!

I don't think it's the seasons, Los Angeles doesn't really change much throughout the seasons... But I won't cross that off as a possibility.
I think it's just stress... A lot of little things piling up over time.

I am definitely going to tell my therapist about how I've been feeling.
Thanks for listening, Inzane... And all my friends. :)

Little things add up. Plus you've had a traumatic move even if things are working out well for you it's still very very stressful. So don't be hard on yourself please. Sometimes it's just really hard to handle things and you don't even understand why it's like that. That's okay. It's life. I just hope good things happen for you there.

Ava, honey, don't let your illness define you.

That's why my depression is called Adolf. It separates me, from it.

No one is giving up on you and if they do they aren't worth it. Especially if it's because of something you can't controll. I've been there and it's horrible but you're better off without people like that. You can't just turn it off, no matter how much each and everyone of us with a form of mental illness would love to.

Mine is slightly differnt to yours because people wanted to be classed as having what I have, it was popular, it was the "in" mental illness to have due to celebrities claiming to have it, meaning alot of people faked it.

One step at a time and don't bottle things up. We're always here to rant and vent to.

Maybe pop online once a week to vent and we'll listen.

That's very smart, HIM!
I am definitely going to find an awful name to call schizophrenia. >:T
Thank you so much for listening to me. :)

You too, hummy! And all my friends!

I'm sorry I haven't been online as much... I am definitely feeling a lot better, though! I just got home from being in a film! It's not a big part, just a background part, but I acted my ASS OFF in my scenes and I'm going back tomorrow to shoot more. The production team seemed to like my acting, but unfortunately, I wasn't seen very closely.

I didn't realize how much fun I have when I am acting until I actually went out and did it! It's my first real film (not student film!) that I've shot here and I've made so many awesome friends. :)

I also decided to reach out to my other friends, even though I don't speak to them that often. They were so supportive of me! It makes me so happy to have friends!

I'm glad you reached out to your friends I hope you all connect soon. Continued good luck filming your acting scenes, Ava. I know you'll do wonderfully!

I am excited for Ava!
Can you tell us what film you are in?
I think that naming your schizophrenia an ugly name is a great idea!...do you have any names in mind? Would "Shitstain" be too vulgar?

I can't wait to watch you

Thanks so much, friends. :)

The film is called, "Divos" it's about two male "Divas" who fight for the lead role in a high school play.

I'm only an extra, but I've met so many awesome people! Even the lead characters were kind! They talked to us (the extras) like we were on their level and they didn't act like assholes. They were great!

I don't know if "shitstain" would be a good word for schizophrenia. Only because if I said, "Ugh, my shit stain is acting up again..." it might sound awkward LOL.

I will come up with something.. I'm going to google some words that mean bad things to call my schizophrenia.

Pink a boo

Oh ava it sounds like a really good premise for a movie. So are you just like a girl walking behind scene or do you have a name and do you have any lines? I hope you have lines I can't wait to see it! Can you tell I'm excited for you? I just knew good things were going to happen for you but I had no idea I'd be so quick!
We should toss out some names for you to choose from. What's your least favorite food or thing?

*falls into thread onto ground, gets up, and then rubs off outfit from the dust that is all over the floor*

Hey guys.

I am thrilled for Ava, too!
I can't wait to hear when this film will be released!