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Ava The Vampire
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#4526
Old 01-05-2016, 05:22 PM

Why does that sound like a children's nursery rhyme??? :D

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#4527
Old 01-05-2016, 08:55 PM

Little Bo Peep. I used that line when assuring Inzanebraned you would be home soon.

Ava The Vampire
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#4528
Old 01-06-2016, 02:37 AM

That was rather insightful of you, Amane.

I'm back and it's so good to be back. =w=

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#4529
Old 01-06-2016, 03:09 PM

I've learned that about Internet friends you see pretty much every day. When they disappear, you don't need to worry. They may wander for months before they decide to come home, but they do, and they bring tales of their adventures with them.

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#4530
Old 01-06-2016, 04:08 PM

I like that.
Like nomads of the Internet. 8D

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#4531
Old 01-06-2016, 05:37 PM

Doll tip: RUBBER BANDS ARE MAGIC.

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#4532
Old 01-06-2016, 06:20 PM

I had a black porcelain doll once.
She broke her neck somehow.

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#4533
Old 01-06-2016, 06:30 PM

I had a gorgeous, gorgeous porcelain doll when I was a tiny babe. She better be in this house and intact. If not, money goals: BUY A PORCELAIN DOLL MORE GORGEOUS THAN ANY OTHER I'VE OWNED.

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#4534
Old 01-06-2016, 09:18 PM

My doll was... cute. I guess.
I had her since I was a little kid, then one day last year I came home and her head was crooked and I said, "OMG WHAT HAPPENED TO BABETTE?!"

And Papa Vampire was like, "Dunno, she was like that when I found her"

LIES. >:C

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#4535
Old 01-06-2016, 09:42 PM

IT WAS SABOTAGE.

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#4536
Old 01-06-2016, 09:52 PM

You should have seen her, Amane!! D8
Her ear was literally touching her shoulder...

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#4537
Old 01-06-2016, 11:19 PM

It was doll murder‼

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#4538
Old 01-07-2016, 02:43 AM

I wish I knew of something witty to say,
I had something in mind, then I lost it.
It's late, I'm tired. D:

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#4539
Old 01-07-2016, 07:43 PM

I said I'd do this, so I better, right?

Why… don't I share my work with people besides the closest, closest,
closest of my friends?

Gonna be honest. I love sharing my work, guys. I really do! It feels fantab when people have good things to say about my work. When I make a thing I'm proud of, I squeal and imagine showing it. Yet I won't share my work with you everyday peonies; you readers; oh, my precious lurkers, you. Said good thing usually turns horrible in a jiffy, anyway. "Thank God I didn't show anyone
that. *erases/deletes/rips up and throws away*" Speaking of jiffy, someone get me some muffins right now.
/it's a muffin mix brand

My last wall o' text kept tempting me to touch on this subject. I kept wanting to add this piece:
When I first started writing, I wanted to share it all with everybody (except my family because that would be a Big Miss Steak). Told all my friends about my stuff. It was awesome, which meant I was
good at something, so I wanted everybody to know. I soon discovered something I didn't know was part of the contract.
Creative work tends to be good at first sight, as you're making it. It's when you've been away from it for a while—a good night's sleep, most easily—that the flaws pop out. You've stared at it and thought about it for too long and need fresh eyes. Let your memory distort it into what you think you see, then look at it again. Reading last night's writing is really painful for me. Back in the day described above, I'd write these babies on Tuesday and give 'em to the friend on Thursday without reading 'em again. Of what I remember, those people must've judged me so hard for my writing.
When I realized this, I died. I died of embarrassment. It hurt so much. I apologized to the friends I was still in contact with for putting them through me thinking my horrible writing was good. Nobody should've had to see that writing. If I got judged, I don't blame them.
If you really want to be sure something, anything in this world, doesn't matter what, is truly what you think it is, take a break from it and then come back. It'll save you a lot of embarrassment and being wrong. This tip works with people, too. (They look like X! *look away for a few minutes, darling* They definitely do not look like X…)
And then I realized adding that piece would open the following floodgate.

Nobody's perfect, so a little (okay, a ton of) bad work over the years is okay. Nothing to be embarrassed about.
WRONG.
Refer to my last wall o' text, which details my preoccupation with perfection.

Rule now is, as long as you're not my family, you're allowed to KNOW I do creative work. Until you prove yourself worthy, you're not allowed to SEE it. Ignore the family part for now.
It comes down to a fear of being judged. If you see my work less than perfect, you're gonna see the mistakes. If you see the mistakes, you're gonna think I don't see them or do but don't care. You're gonna think I'm proud of work that looks bad because I don't know it looks bad. You're gonna laugh at me. You're gonna judge me. You're gonna think of how stupid I am every time you see me. I need everyone who sees my work to stay in contact with me so they can see more work later, more work still later, and more work even later. They need to know I see my mistakes and I'm not that dumb.
And please, please, please don't criticize my work. When I openly shared my work, I said no criticism because I can't take it D:. It's not that I can't take it! It's that I don't want anyone else's input until it finishes passing through my sieve of approval. I probably already know about the mistakes you want to comment on. I probably wouldn't take kindly to someone I didn't know well pointing out mistakes, honestly. I may have been right.

I read a thing once… Don't make comments on the quality of your work when you show it to someone. Such as saying it's not that good. Or you had to rush when making it. If it's not good enough for you, why should it be good enough for them? If the situation allows it, you're just going to be ignored. After all, you're not good enough; you said it yourself.
HERE'S MY THING ABOUT THAT.
I DO NOT want you thinking I seriously think something that looks no-good is good! I'll look like a dumbdumbdumbdumbdumbdumb~ ♫ if I confidently present bad work. It would be like, "She seriously thinks this is good? It's terrible. LOL. She has sooo much to learn. *beginning of Dumb Dumb by Red Velvet looping into eternity whenever they see me*" I show you my work and say I'm not happy with it as my way of saying, "Yes, this has issues; yes, I am aware; no, I can't fix them. Bear with me here."
To continue with what that tip said, you can say things like, "I'm just starting out, so I'd like some tips on getting better." Just don't write off your own work as not good enough. It probably doesn't look too good to say your work is bomb, either. It's the best of what you've done? Sure. "I'm a fantastic artist/writer"? Sounds like a nope to me.
So much "tip" in this post.

What's it like for my friends who have seen my work? They constantly assure me that I'm really good, not eye-gouge terrible. I constantly apologize for constantly apologizing, and I thank them dearly for dealing with my embarrassment over my old work. They've been such angels about it.

Back to the Big Miss Steak. I can't show you my work if you are, or associate with those who are, my family.
Loose lips is a disease which runs powerfully in my family, sometimes showing as soon as loquation becomes possible. Is loquation a word? It should be. I love you, Latin. Now that WWII's over, loose lips just ruin trust. They'll talk too much about it. Their tireless loose lips will wear me out and make me detest all creative work. If they judge me, they won't do it silently. If they see mistakes, they'll point 'em out. I'll angrily say I know, and they'll ask me once again why I'm angry all the time. They'll get their not-cool all over my passions, I'll think of them when I try to enjoy them, and they won't be fun anymore. *makes a disgusted face* And then I'll like nothing. *grabs shoulders and looks in the eyes* Do you WANT me to do nothing for fun‽ *turns away and sighs deeply* So glad I knew so early along that such a Big Miss Steak would mark me for death. Good catch. *high fives past self*

So, those of you cuties who beg to see my work.

This has been a wall o' text on sharing work and why I don't do it. Anymore. Unless you're special.
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#4540
Old 01-08-2016, 07:35 AM

lol, that reminds me very much of a rather insightful post I previously made ��
oh, and 'dollicide' is a heinous crime that should be punished with a four hour long teddy-bear's tea party... or flogging, you decide ��

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#4541
Old 01-09-2016, 02:49 AM

Maybe it was shelf defence, like if the doll was evil...😨😨😨😨

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#4542
Old 01-09-2016, 08:33 PM

Amane, I commend you on your ability to express yourself!
That's quite a well written wall o' text!
I think I may have borrowed your shoes, a time or two, whilst walking down this twisted path called "My Life," for I easily empathize with you.
But, my path has been much longer (& probably more twisty-er!) than yours...and I just got tired of caring what everyone else thinks of any works I've done.
I am already my own worst critic, anyway!....there's nothing someone else could say that would be worse than my own opinion....and I welcome constructive criticism so as to catch the flaws I didn't catch, myself.

But there are other aspects of my life that feel very similar to how I perceive that you feel about showing your creations to others.
....kinda like "I'm safer if nobody knows about it so nobody will want to have a (possibly negative) opinion."

But...I would still like to see some of Amane's art!......maybe SOMEday?


Hey!
Hi, everybody!
I hope the weekend is going well for you all!

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#4543
Old 01-10-2016, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Inzanebraned View Post
Amane, I commend you on your ability to express yourself!
That's quite a well written wall o' text!
I think I may have borrowed your shoes, a time or two, whilst walking down this twisted path called "My Life," for I easily empathize with you.
But, my path has been much longer (& probably more twisty-er!) than yours...and I just got tired of caring what everyone else thinks of any works I've done.
I am already my own worst critic, anyway!....there's nothing someone else could say that would be worse than my own opinion....and I welcome constructive criticism so as to catch the flaws I didn't catch, myself.

But there are other aspects of my life that feel very similar to how I perceive that you feel about showing your creations to others.
....kinda like "I'm safer if nobody knows about it so nobody will want to have a (possibly negative) opinion."

But...I would still like to see some of Amane's art!......maybe SOMEday?



Hey!
Hi, everybody!
I hope the weekend is going well for you all!
So far, so good!!! Hey!!! We got our own bears. Black bears but still, we got bears!!!! 😀

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#4544
Old 01-10-2016, 04:00 AM

I am going to get so much shit for this,
But I didn't read the wall o text this time.

I was too lazy and I also am feeling really jittery and I can't focus that long to read through it. I'll read it someday, though. Just not today.

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#4545
Old 01-10-2016, 05:13 AM

Hey, Ava....I have those days, too....when more than 2 sentences seems exceedingly overwhelming!
I have recently noticed that my aging vision has contributed to my inability to stay focused on large bodies of text.
(another indication that I really should get an updated pair of prescription eyewear! Lol!)
Are you taking any new meds? ...maybe that is the cause of the symptoms you speak of?
I hope you are feeling much better!

Hope has left for a stay with her parents, so I am kinda left with vacant hands and lots of time on my hands....
Maybe I'll actually get to spend more than a few fleeting moments on here! ....barring any unexpected distractions from the BF and Sarah! Lol!
Sarah has been having a "seizure week"....having had 3 seizures in 2 days...she is being very quiet and subdued.
She will probably remain quiet for another day before she returns to her normal, whiny self....provided this wave of seizures is over with.
We are pretty confident that Sarah's seizures are affected by the weather systems...unfortunately, it is when bad weather turns to good weather that it will be most likely Sarah will suffer at least 1 seizure....sometimes more, especially when the change is extreme.
She takes a med that helps to "maintain" her seizures...meaning that it greatly reduces the number of, and her susceptibility to more, seizures.
We have tried sharing some pot with her...but, if anything, the smoke seems to reduce her medication's ability to keep more seizures away...and the two times she was given an edible, she TRULY enjoyed herself!...but, like her neurologist agreed with me about, I can not duplicate the amount...much less the strain of marijuana....or the process that was used...to avoid giving Sarah a "BAD" experience...and her not being able to tell us how she feels....well....That just wouldn't be very nice!
So...we stick with the prescription meds and ride out the seizures that get through....hoping there won't be more!

Does anybody know anybody with a seizure disorder?
Have you ever witnessed a person having a seizure?
Sarah is not the only person I have seen having a seizure...
Maybe I'll save that story for another time...as I feel that this post has already grown to be much larger than I had expected it to get....and I suspect I may be rambling at this point! Lol!

So...how is everybody?

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#4546
Old 01-10-2016, 06:42 PM

I have the walls really for retrieval for your reading pleasure at any time.

My friend and I are so close now she told me she wants me dead in a ditch.

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#4547
Old 01-10-2016, 09:58 PM

You say your friend wants you dead in a ditch..... Is she like... serious?

Inzane, I've witnessed one person having a seizure in my life. Just one. That was at a grocery store I was standing at the checkout line while my mom was talking to the cashier and a young man started having a seizure. It didn't last very long and I didn't see much, he was by the beverages in the cool area and all I saw was him shaking very violently for a couple of seconds then an older man (probably his dad) came by and grabbed him and walked him over to the dining area to sit him down.

It wasn't really a big thing and I didn't see much. But that was the only seizure I've ever witnessed.

I have a friend who has seizures. She can't work right now because of them. :C
I've never seen her have a seizure before.

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#4548
Old 01-10-2016, 11:41 PM

a friend of mine, single mother of three, is prone to epileptic fits as a result of a severe head trauma in 2011. she had a really serious one about three years ago, which lead to a mini-stroke and landed her in hospital unable to walk with dystonia. she's been signed into a mobility re-hab ever since and still spends most of her time in a hospital bed today and it was atleast two months before she could even stand, but she can walk short distances with the help of crutches now though. she's only twenty six ��

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#4549
Old 01-11-2016, 02:00 AM

We're those friends who insult each other profusely and don't seriously mean a word of it.

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#4550
Old 01-11-2016, 02:15 AM

*nods in understanding* I know some friends who are like that with each other :)

 



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