Quote:
Originally Posted by the Cheshire Pisces
Everybody has a good spider story.
I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours
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You asked for it and here it comes: The year was 1984. I was 13. On a boring night with the parental units off property, I invited my best at the friend time, Mr. B, to my dad's house so that we could do stuff that 13 year old boys do....such as cooking spiders in microwave ovens.
Yes, it was a slow night and putting an ugly spider that was as big as a thumbnail on a microwave safe plate inside a microwave seemed like such an intriguing idea. You have to remember that microwaves were new kitchen appliances back in 1984.
Wait a minute, is there such a thing as a pretty spider? I don't think so.
"I'll tell you what, Coy. That's the prettiest spider I ever did saw. I think I'm gonna let her crawl up and down my arm and on my neck and around my ears. That there spider is just so cute."
"Awww, thanks, Skeeter. But this here spider is Miss Jenny, and she only likes to crawl on my arm. She only has fangs and fuzzy black eyes for me. So don't you be tryin' nuthin'."
"Say there Coy, when is Pa gonna build us that drive-in movie theater?"
"Yous mean so's we can get dates, Skeeter?"
"Yeah, Pa says we got more cows than we got kin. Now, even if we had more cows, can't be makin' kin now, can they? Pa's been havin' trouble with a few of the boys, you see."
"Ya ever see Deliverance? Nights get awful cool in these parts."
Ahem. Excuse me. I digress. Now, where was I?
Ah, yes. So I put this ugly spider in the microwave and in less than a minute it exploded. What a mess. Where's the dignity? I really didn't know what to expect. Thinking about it now, I could have wrapped that arachnid in aluminum foil. That would have been cool. Who knows, maybe even "Weird" Al Yankovic would have approved.
So, that's my spider story and I am sticking to it. Or rather that spider was sticking to the inside of that microwave.