I don't think its mean to suggest I place Sarah in the care of a nursing home...
The problem is not that I can't care for her...the problem is that she needs to have a bedroom all to herself where she can make her noise until she falls asleep without keeping me and/or others awake.
A nursing home would not be able to provide her a private room on Medicaid's tab...so she would probably be sedated on a nightly basis so her roommate wouldn't be annoyed and kept awake into the wee hours of the night.
I also would worry that said roommate might become angry, (just like I get when she blatantly refuses to be quiet), and possibly attempt to silence her with a pillow over her face...or a lost temper could result in violence, abuse and hatred.
I just need to find a place where she can have her own room to make any noise she wants to behind the closed door.
I am considering a 1 bedroom house, even, and wouldn't mind if BF and I had to sleep on the floor in the livingroom or kitchen...just so long as I wasn't forced to attempt to sleep in the same room with her.
I already suffered a year of this...in the motorhome which was 1 big room...but I could express myself and raise my voice to vent in the motorhome, or go outside when I got overwhelmed.
Here, I need to whisper and tiptoe to prevent waking others who need to wake early and work all day...when I ultimately want to scream and yell at the top of my voice just to let some of my frustration out...but it was demanded of me when I first started staying here, to not raise my voice in this house.
Providing my sanity holds out, a rental house that will accommodate us in a preferred location will come around...I just have to wait till that happens.
Meanwhile I will cope with the lack of sleep and try to be considerate to our hosts as best I can...or die trying!
Things will happen the way they are supposed to..and when they are supposed to...
I consider myself fortunate that I have had a roof over my head these past few months.
Things could be much worse than they are for me.
I'm looking forward to hearing whether you like your therapist and if therapy works for you...
I know that therapy doesn't work well if one doesn't like or trust the therapist.
I do think that once the winter is over and you get back to gardening...that will be the best therapy of all!
Have a good Friday Eve, my Friend! (((((((

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