Originally Posted by Lucida

How old are you, if I may ask? I'm just asking because there was a time when I did similar things...however now, it's different for me.

I am going to be 24 this year.
Although my actions might stem from having to work with teenagers whose sole purpose in life, it seems, is to talk about anyone and everything and somehow twist it.
To change people's view of a person they do not even know or talk to.
These things make me a bit sad and dissapointed in people in general.
To see the young people grow up or rather not in such a fashion.

I am going to be 24 this year.
Although my actions might stem from having to work with teenagers whose sole purpose in life, it seems, is to talk about anyone and everything and somehow twist it.
To change people's view of a person they do not even know or talk to.
These things make me a bit sad and dissapointed in people in general.
To see the young people grow up or rather not in such a fashion.

oh i see. then you're even older than me o__O wow.
but what you say about teenagers might be true... and it is definitely true that how teenagers act is sometimes scary. to be honest, i am even a bit afraid of talking to strangers who are in their teens (or let's say 13-18). i have made bad experiences with those...especially when i was their age. but the thoughts are still stuck in my head.
but do you really prefer to be alone? i mean...you have a husband too, don't you?

I do prefer to be alone most of the time.
And I am married but he's deployed right now so having to deal with people is even more irritating than usual, I suppose.
I dont tell people that he's gone so I dont have to deal with the fake pity or empathy because they dont really care.
It's why I dont tell people anything about me really.
It is probably why I find it hard to have any kind of meaningful conversation without having to avoid difficult personal questions.
It is also probably why i'm more random than not.

that's actually quite sad to hear, even if you might believe i am dwelling on fake empathy or whatever...
without wanting to intrude your private sphere, but do you have any friends you're meeting regularly? it sounds like not...
that's somehow strange, while i am alone all day, wishing to have somebody around, you seem not to want company... but maybe i do understand, sometimes it's just the wrong people that surround you. i wouldn't want to share my time with everyone (without wanting to sound arrogant! it's just hard to wear a neutral and happy mask in front of people i don't know well enough to show myself without the mask. it's not like i'm always depressed, but most of the time i just don't feel like small talk.)
well, however...is it different for you on the internet or do you prefer to be alone there too? cause even if it may be called "fake", it's still conversation...

Originally Posted by icebloodfl

But you have a fiance/huband, yes?
You always have someone there, more or less, to prod you into some sort of action.

Yeah, but it's just us and we really aren't very good at keeping in contact with people.

@Lucida
I think people on the net are less fake.
Why would they lie?
Unless they are some random pedo freaks who watch elder porn, trying to lure little kids out of their houses.
But nah, I learned the hard way that most people believe what they hear about a person first and then judge you by that.
Not that I do bad things (most of the time) but people will talk about the silliest things.
Here is one that made me laugh: "I heard you were married and I always see you talking to that one guy in projection so I thought he was your husband."
It was so ludicrus it made me pause for a second and laugh until it hurt.
So I share my life with precious few people that I think I can trust.
But i've come to not trust my judge of character of people for they seem to turn and leave me as soon as they have someone to gossip to about me.
Or rather, I leave them when I hear of their slanderous rumors and lies.
I dont understand where their hatefulness springs from.
So that is where my mask comes from I suppose when I do descend into the bustle of public.
So silence and books are my comfort.
Unless its my fat cat jiggling a doorknob and it scares the crap out of me when i'm home alone.

So I don't have internet right now...but my boyfriend is working on getting me a better internet wifi card...so hopefully soon it will be rectified.

Talk to you all soon...love yeh.

@icebloodfl
yeah, you might be right, maybe people on the internet are really less fake. at least i have so far made the experience that online, most people are either the way they really are, or even more open and honest.
i learned to know my girlfriend via the internet and some good friends as well.

my, that's stupid. i mean, what you're telling me about people judging you after what they hear... that's so sad, but it happens all the time.
like, in a group of people i would have called friends, it became noted that i had some psychological problems. most of the people who pretended to be friends would turn against me and say i was too hard to cope with. i figure they just didn't really know me. cause in general, i am not that "unnormal". i have my issues but they're not THAT obvious.

it really makes me sad to hear that you have to cope with rumours and lies so much.
on the other hand, what comes to my mind right now... maybe it's normal that you don't have many good friends. i don't know anyone who has a big bunch of confidants. maybe you just have to find the people who fit to yourself, generally speaking. and as long as you're not completely alone in the world, everything's fine, isn't it?
and sometimes silence and books can be a good escape. at least, i like to escape reality sometimes...
(your cat is cute XD)

@verucca

aww...i'll miss you T^T hope it's gonna be alright soon!

Oi ... I kind of need to vent. This week has been pretty crummy so far and it's just getting started. I reallllly hope it gets better. ;(

Yesterday started off okay, though I hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep so I was tired all through my classes and I felt a bit on the sick side. But other than that things were going okay. My fiance had to work swing shift, which I wasn't too thrilled about because on those days I get home around noon and he's off to work at 2:30 and doesn't get off until after my bed time.

But anyway he left for work and I was going about my business until about 5:30 when he calls me and tells me he wrecked his van. (It's a company vehicle at least, so he doesn't have to pay for the damages.) He rear ended a guy in a truck while trying to get off the free way and traffic stopped very suddenly. His rear ending the truck caused the guy in the truck to rear end the SUV that was in front of him. But he wasn't hurt, so I was pretty relieved about that.

He calls me back around 6pm, asking me if I can come out there and pick him up, which seemed odd to me because generally when that sort of thing happens you get a lift from the tow truck driver. By the time I get out there he's the only one left there with the highway patrol officer. She finishes filling out the paperwork and gives him a citation because he was the one at fault. So we wait for the tow truck and Ben (my fiance) ends up riding in the tow truck so he can give the guy instructions on how to get back to his work because that's where his boss wants them to drop off the van so they can get all of the tools out of it.

So we get back there and his boss is there, along with another co-worker and they asses the damage and poke fun at Ben a little bit. We're there for a while, but then we have to leave because Ben's got to take a drug test because it's company policy when anyone gets in an accident in a company vehicle. So we head off to the place but can't find it because we've been given bad directions (TWICE) so finally we call someone else and are given the right directions and are able to find the place just fine. It's about 8:30 when we get there and it takes FOREVER for us to just get up to the counter (at least 30 minutes with only like 4 people in line ahead of us when we got there) because for the majority of that time there's only one lady at the windows.

When it's finally our turn to sign in or whatever, we find out that we were supposed to have a paper or the company was supposed to have called it in, and neither had happened. So Ben had to call back to his work and get the guy there to call it in who apparently had some issues doing so because it took forever for them to finally get to us. We didn't get out of there until after 10 o'clock and by that time everyone who was there had gone, even people who had gotten there much later than us. It was very frustrating.

The worst part was that he really didn't need me there at all -- he got a ride back to the shop with the tow-truck driver and from there he could have taken his truck and gotten everything done on his own. I understand that he wanted me there for support and whatnot -- it was just very frustrating all together.

Oh, and I almost forgot -- that's not even all of it. ;(

This morning on the way to school, the same thing almost happened to me, but it would've been MUCH worse if I had actually hit the guy in front of me. I was driving in the left lane on the freeway, probably going around 70 mph, because you can't really go much faster than that with morning traffic. But anyway.

To be honest I'm not really sure what happened, but from what I can tell, the guy in front of me wasn't really paying attention, and he was in an SUV so I couldn't see around him to see that traffic in my lane was slowing down. I didn't realize it until the guy in front of me suddenly slammed on his breaks and swerved to the right. So I hit my breaks even harder and swerved to the left onto the shoulder. I hit the breaks so hard that my tires screeched and smoked and it smelled like burning rubber.

All of my stuff had been on the passenger seat and it went flying forward, and I kind of fucked my arms up a bit because I braced myself with the steering wheel. I ended up on the shoulder, right next to the guy who had been in front of me.

It scared me so bad -- I was shaking for at least a half hour and I had to call home and tell Ben about it because it scared me that much. I keep picturing in my mind what would've happened had I hit the guy -- and it's NOT pretty.

Though I do find it kind of ironic that he got into an accident and came out completely unharmed, while I avoided an accident and came out more injured that he did -- even though it's very mild.

oh wow, bliss, that's a scary story o__O or rather two scary stories...
car accidents are really bad and bureaucracy is almost as evil. i hope your fiance will be fine and his insurance will take the damage...
and i hope you will be better soon, too. it's ironic, indeed, that you are the one with the pain now...but it's good that at least you didn't have an accident, who knows what might have happened... <3

I should be asleep...
But i'm off to work, hurrah.
*posttokeepintouch?*

ah ice, you're back XD did i kill our talk with my long post?

Waaah, the thread died! ;-; Where has everybody gone?!

I've been pretty busy with school lately and in my spare time I've been playing Pokemon Pearl instead of playing around on the computer, so that's my excuse.

I got a bunny last night! He's really adorable. My cats are really interested in him though, and that makes me nervous. My younger cat kept getting up on the dresser next to his cage and watching him. She seems to be doing better about it already, but I'm going to make sure I keep an eye on them for a while. I haven't come up with a name for him yet, but he's got floppy ears and his fur is white with black speckles. He's really soft. <333

i am still here and checking every day ^^, but what use is it when nobody comes ^__^
but i'm sure everyone has their reasons for not passing by...

whee, you got a bunny? i like bunnies a lot, i had two a while ago. they're really cute animals...the only thing is, they tend to make a mess around the cage, throwing their hay and stuff out of it. that's why i prefer cats right now, they're somehow less work...but i love bunnies nonetheless ^^

I just haven't had internet.

I hope everything is going well for everybody. ^_^ <333

Originally Posted by Verucca

I just haven't had internet.

I hope everything is going well for everybody. ^_^ <333

aw, no internet is really bad... do you have it back now?

for me, everything's going rather well ^^ (only i'm in a little artistic crisis, i wonder why nobody bids in my auction ^^, are my drawings that bad? ^^, *rants*)

Originally Posted by Lucida

aw, no internet is really bad... do you have it back now?

for me, everything's going rather well ^^ (only i'm in a little artistic crisis, i wonder why nobody bids in my auction ^^, are my drawings that bad? ^^, *rants*)

A) No not yet.... ::weeps::

B) If I had the gold I would bid!! I love your arts.

Originally Posted by Verucca

A) No not yet.... ::weeps::

B) If I had the gold I would bid!! I love your arts.

aww, that's bad... hope you'll get it back soon T^T

thank you ;-; that gives me hope. maybe someone will bid eventually...

Originally Posted by Lucida

i am still here and checking every day ^^, but what use is it when nobody comes ^__^
but i'm sure everyone has their reasons for not passing by...

whee, you got a bunny? i like bunnies a lot, i had two a while ago. they're really cute animals...the only thing is, they tend to make a mess around the cage, throwing their hay and stuff out of it. that's why i prefer cats right now, they're somehow less work...but i love bunnies nonetheless ^^

Well the bottom part of his cage is really deep because I got the biggest one they had, so he isn't really able to throw anything out of the cage, but he is making a big mess inside of his cage, that's for sure. Every morning I wake up hearing him scratching around in his cage and moving all of the bedding around.

Originally Posted by bliss

Well the bottom part of his cage is really deep because I got the biggest one they had, so he isn't really able to throw anything out of the cage, but he is making a big mess inside of his cage, that's for sure. Every morning I wake up hearing him scratching around in his cage and moving all of the bedding around.

well, that's really an advantage of big cages, then let's hope your bunny won't grow too much ^^,
what's your bunny's name by the way? ^^ I love hearing what other people name their pets.

I haven't officially named him yet. My fiance says he wants to name him emergency ration -- but obviously I'm not going for that. One of my friends suggested scampers, which is the best thing I've heard so far. I've just been calling him bunny or bun buns so far. I really need to come up with something more suitable though.

I'm thinking he's going to grow quite a bit more -- he's only about 10 weeks old. I really want to get him one of the cages with multiple layers -- I think he'd like that. He keeps climbing up on top of his igloo house and looking around. It's really cute. ;3

Awwww....I am looking forward to getting a kitten soon.

As soon as I get my place all set up it will become kitty city. ^_^ Hoorah!

@bliss
*laughs* emergency ration, that really is a bad name for a sweet bunny. scampers sounds cute though ^^ i have to say, though, that "bunny" or "buns" as a name is cute too XD
aww, i'd love to see a picture of him, he must be so cute ^^, and yeah, multiple layer cages are good, a friend of mine has one.

@verucca
oooh, have you found a place where you can have a kitty? that's great! do you know what breed you'll get, or will it be whatever you get? ^^

hehe, this sounds like my kind of place.XD exept i can never remember where i posted long enough to post more than one post. XD