I was just curious that is why my mom has one lone ovary floating about in her... Because her uterus and other parts were removed but they didn't want to throw her into early menopause (she had her tubes tied at 30 after my youngest brother was born, and started having issues after that and they found that her bladder had crushed her girl parts, she was 33-34 when this happened)

I've been overly worried about everything lately, worried that I'm not healing right after Ellie was born, I still have dull pangs in my lower abdomen/pelvic area below my abdomen.... And though I'd stopped bleeding a week ago, I don't know something just doesn't seem the same as after the boys but I fear it's all in my head or that I am just not remembering things correctly from the boys... :/ I don't know but I can't wait for my birthday to get the A-Okay (fingers crossed) from the OB... I just want to know for sure all my parts are still fine... Some part of me fears it is cosmic "no more kids for YOU" going to hit me... I think it is because after my friend had her second earlier this year, she was rushed back to the hospital a few days afterwards and was forced to have her uterus removed... Luckily she had already made the decision that she didn't want to have more kids when it happened...I haven't made up my mind yet though Dillon seems to have already... :/

With my surgery I've already been warned, like I was with this same surgery last time, that if enough of my tissue is removed I might experience partial menopause or menopause like symptoms afterwards. last time I did this surgery, I felt fine. I didn't have any hot flashes or moodswings. I'm hoping for that same outcome this time. I remember my boobs were sore. lol. and that wasn't a symptom they mentioned to me but I guess that could happen with anything that messes with all those girly hormones?

I have pains that sound like that but i think mine are more mental I think. I know I don't have fibroids or anything wrong with my uterus itself.. at least.. nothing that's been found yet. I think its more because of the miscarriages. sometimes I feel like a cosmic doom (i like the way you put it) sort of pain I'd say. like its the universe reminding me that my babies aren't there/that they died in there and that there may never be any life in there again.. and if there ever is again, I might still lose it... and sometimes I have just phantom movement feelings. what's worse with those is that sometimes those phantom type feelings can just jolt back memories and I'll cry "out of nowhere" (at least it seems that way to others.)

in any case, i hope it all checks out. enjoy ellie lots. definitely. whether or not she'll be your last, enjoy that you have her now and 2 other beautiful boys. I'd definitely take it as a good sign that your bleeding has stopped. and its been a few weeks. i think most issues happen soon after delivery. you and dillon do have time to discuss how you feel later. remember, he just got ellie. his feelings may change a year or two from now and yours may too.

Congrats on the new baby Jaz! c:

Hello Empress. ^^

*leaves cake for mellie*

Hi Snowberry :) How are you?

And you don't have the DAC showing under like Site Feedback or Information Desk on the main forum page? (In green? or...yellow? haha. How sad is that? I can't even remember the color of the first forum block!)

Oh! There was another page! lol

Jaz- Call your OB and get some info from them. If you're still getting pains and cramping it could be a sign that part of the placenta or blood clots etc could still be in there. You'll want to get that taken care of ASAP. I know a surro that gave birth...two years ago went through cramping for two months before she went to see her doctor about it and they did a D&C and got a decent sized piece of placenta out from that. It fucks you up. Seriously. She was confused since it looked full when they took it out after baby was born, but apparently it wasn't? In any case, Call your OB. Always call your OB. Even if it's nothing, they'll be able to tell you that it's nothing and that will make your worry go away.

SNOWWWW- Hey there Beautiful!

nope. no extra block in yellow or anything like that. or anywhere really. I just found out about the DAC yesterday actually. I decided to be all good and read through the faq and when I click the link in that faq thread i get to a page that explains that only current site donators have access which puzzled me because I figured buying some mennies would have unlocked that.

ah parts of placenta left could make sense. but i would have thought there would be infection showing up from dead tissue if that's the case? or maybe not?

Isn't that what causes the pain?

Though it could just be her uterus still getting back to the normal size and cramping when she nurses since that action tends to make it go faster/harder than not nursing. Like I said, call the OB. xD

Weird. I'll poke Jelly about it. (DAC)

I'm so not a doctor... so yes definitely talk to the doctor. But I don't think there's any cause for alarm. just.. relax about it and don't stress. if you're not in severe pain, not bleeding anymore and have no fever or typical signs of infection, I'd think you're probably a-ok. and it could be anything. uterus getting back down to its normal size like mel mel said.

I wish I could remember how long it takes for the uterus to get back down to it's normal "fist size" after birth. I know my midwife told me after Owen was born. I just can't remember. ):

i'm supposed to know. being all premed neuroscience they actually made me take a series of different health courses and one actually focused on nothing but the female reproduction system with this odd focus on the nervous system but I can't for the life of me remember. even then I'm pretty sure none of those timelines are set in stone. especially if breastfeeding helps and ellie was chomping for so long, her body might not have read that the way it normally does.

i know mine isn't normal size. its still a little bigger than it should be if I'd never been pregnant and I guess after Annabelle my body just didn't quite know what to do. a nurse did come in and started "massaging" me but it hurt and I was in no mood to see anyone.. so I yelled at her >.<

Mine has a scar, but other than that it's "normal"

no visible scaring on mine (i've had to have D&Cs for miscarriages). aside from the cysts everything checks out. not sure what happened with annabelle... no signs of anything horribly wrong. no cord around her neck. no genetic markers that would cause alarm. So I think even though my uterus seems normal, if shaun and I do this egg harvesting thing, I don't want to risk another miscarriage or stillborn birth.. so.. it'll just be our stepping stone for a surrogate. I just feel like something has to be wrong. several doctors have said no though. healthy uterus even if it is slightly bigger. health lining. ovaries still producing eggs. they just don't know :/

My Aunt had that issue. She went through IVF herself and had her/her husbands embryos put into her and she became pregnant through that. Baby grew to term and is now a strange and very annoying teenager. Barely a year after he was born she got pregnant again naturally and carried the baby to term. He's now a reclusive annoying tween. :lol: Sometimes your body just needs to learn that it can both get pregnant, and stay pregnant. No one knows why just that for some people that's how it is.

what really hurt with her was that I thought I was in the clear. you know? safe to actually tell people I was pregnant. I felt safe thinking of names. we knew it was a girl so adrian and I painted a room in his apartment for her. lavender and green bold stripes separated by thin strips of pink. I really thought she was the one I'd get to keep. i don't know. I haven't gotten pregnant again since (that i know of) there's still that very odd questionable time with shaun. I just don't know that I trust my body to try again. especially if all I have is x amount of eggs left and no chance of getting any more.... maybe it'd be smart if its not me that tries it.

I can see the dilemma. How far along were you? Were you seeing a perinatal specialist? You don't have to answer, but peris keep track of high risk pregnancies through out the entire thing. I had one with the twins, it was constant ultrasounds and updates to make sure they were growing accordingly. Had something changed at any point they would have injected me with growth hormones/steroids for them for as long as possible to give them the best chance of survival etc. Peris are pretty amazing.

I was 28 weeks. It wasn't like a miscarriage. I just went in because I hadn't felt any movement and had a bad gut feeling. So I was told just to go straight to the hospital over the phone. and there wasn't a heartbeat. so, I had to be induced.

She was the first one I had a peri for. I'd always have to get a referral first though before my insurance approves it and getting all that insurance paperwork settled, sometimes I'd get one but would never get in to see them for the others. especially back then. the laws for health insurance weren't the same and I had them constantly trying to drop my coverage based on units enrolled in college. Anyway, with her, I'd been seeing one and everything seemed fine. her growth was on schedule. they'd spend forever just measuring her. sometimes they'd do stress tests. it all seemed ok. :/

):

Here's hoping egg harvesting and freezing works well then! We'll get you a baby somehow!
Though I'm done with surrogacy after this one until after my wedding. >.> So if you want me to carry Baby Cassie it will be after 2014. :lol: Just saying, though I wouldn't be hurt if you choose to go with someone that you aren't close with, I could understand that decision as well. Sometimes it's easier to get through something when you aren't already close with the person. And I know I would have a hard time telling you if the transfer didn't work. ;-; (Not that I would expect it not to, the chances are 40% frozen, 60% fresh per embryo, and my uterus is damn awesome, just that it's always a possibility.)

lol your uterus is pretty amazing. lol. I don't think shaun and I are really considering any kids until I'm done with school and settled into a decent job somewhere which would be around 2014 lol. and we are still going to see how I feel after this surgery. if I'm still in alot of pain we're doing the harvesting definitely and then removal after that. I hope this time it just works and I feel like a normal person... I'm not sure about using a stranger. sometimes I think I'd feel weird with someone I don't know carrying my baby and others I think that's for the best. for now I'm going to hope none of this comes to that. there's still apart of me that really hopes/wants to just have a baby the natural way. but there's a bigger part of me that feels done with the pain..

I'm still hoping you're able to do it all naturally as well. It costs a hell of a lot less, and is much easier on everyone involved!

I know shaun definitely wants to go along with the harvesting and fertilizing but he admits that he'd much rather its me that carries the baby. just because he feels like he'd feel more comfortable that way. shaun says he wants that moment other fathers get where he gets to kiss his wife after seeing his baby for the first time. makes me sad he might not get that moment. nut that's the negative part of me. I'm just going to try and stay positive and think this will work and maybe someday shaun and I will get that moment

plus shaun asked a whole lot of questions about what would happen during delivery if we went with a surrogate and I just don't know. I don't know if we'd be allowed in the room or not or what the protocol is for those sorts of things that are more intimate and would be really up to the person we choose to carry our baby.

Ahhh lots of reading and not much time (baby is asleep and boys are asleep so I NEED to get on some chores Christmas is DANGEROUSLY close and my house is horrendously messy)... i got through the first couple of posts and I will call the OB on Monday after the important holidays... I can't remember how long it took to stop cramping with the boys... But I KNOW it wasn't a month later and it still feeling like that... Like I said they aren't severe pains in fact they are really dull and mild... With the boys the nurses told me my uterus was already back to almost normal size by the time I got out of the hospital (three days with Mikes and four days before I told the nurses to stop checking me I was only still in the hospital because of Sean)... I think Ellie's after birth contractions were more painful then the ones I had with the boys too... She's just a trouble maker in general... And I fear it isn't going to change :P I am not terribly worried but I also don't want to find out it IS something and have to be in the hospital for Christmas either... I'm cool with being there on New Years or my birthday cause those don't really involve my kids too much!

Thank you snowberry

As for Dillon and I we are very much enjoying having Ellie and cherishing every moment (even the not so pleasant ones)... Dillon is doing it more so then with Sean because he feels he missed out on too much of Sean's baby-hood because of work and me at school him at school etc, I think he is also prepping himself to be content with her being his last.... Me for a lot of reasons, one because I don't know for sure if she will be my last or not, too much is up in the air, and also because I feel like I missed out a lot on the boys baby-hoods... Mikes I was attending college 35 hours a week (no joke 8AM to 3PM Mon-Fri) from the time he was a month and a half old... With Sean because I was desperately trying to FINISH my degree and I was going crazy from overages of hormones (or underage of said hormones later) I feel like I let them grow up too fast :( and I missed soo much in the process... I won't let Ellie do that!

On that note, I have a big boy snoring, a little boy saying "what" in his sleep and a baby on the monitor humming (stuffy nose and she breathes really deep when she is sleeping) so I'd better be off to get chores done and paperwork finished!

Cassie- It is up to the surro at that point and what she's comfortable with. I've never heard of an instance where the mother was not in the room. Or the father-by surro choice. Sometimes he chooses against being in there for whatever reason.
I had both Gid and Tom in the room with me for Owens delivery. And I'm guessing I'll have them both in there again for this babies as well. But this time, I'll remember to shave! lol. Does it matter? No. Did they care? possibly? but they're both sweet enough not to say anything. If it's a c-section you're only allowed to bring one person into the operating room. I'm bringing Scott. I've yet to give birth with out him by my side and don't think I could handle it. He's my husband and the person I want with me through everything. If something goes wrong with me, I want him there. My blood pressure sky rocketed after the twins were born and I was in such severe pain if it weren't for him I know I would have passed out from it a couple of times and had much worse complications. His presence calms me. Gid and Tom know this. If we have to have a c-section they've agreed I get to decide who goes in with me if they are like the hospital I had the twins at and only one extra person is allowed in.

RE: The kiss after birth. I'd rather not give birth and still get the kiss. The pictures will look so much better when you're not a red, sweaty, exhausted looking mess! :lol: <-Mellie thinks on the bright side!

I agree Mellie :P though no one has ever taken pictures of Dillon AND I after a birth :P It's either my mom taking pictures or Dillon or me... :) speaking of pictures my mom says she has some for me :D from Ellie's birth... Rather the after effects....

The three kids all being asleep didn't last all that long but at least Ellie is asleep still... Dillon says I should provoke the big ones to clean... I don't think he realizes that is a chore all it own :P

I'm going to attempt to move this dresser upstairs by myself so I don't have to walk around the whole house just to get to the next room!....

definitely need to talk to shaun more about it. I know he can't stand the thought of not being present. we'll see.. maybe I'll feel more confident later and decide to do it myself. but I'm not at that point yet. :/ shaun is definitely helping though. he's really optimistic about it and about me being the mother of his kids and it all going ok. he also says he'd rather we try than not try and that if it ends in loss I'll have him for support. but I don't think he realizes how much it hurts. it hasn't really happened to him... sort of in a way but not really. that was more the absence of life than a death/loss of life... he hasn't gone through what adrian went through. adrian was a strong guy. he really was. but that... its hard to get past that and even harder to be strong for someone else when you feel crushed too. :/

I'm so not sure I want any pictures after birth but I know its bound to happen >.<some of my friends.. wow.. so many veins just popped in their faces and eyes that it looked like they'd been beaten.

@jaz: good luck with that dresser! I'd so be annoyed with that sort of walking pattern too.

Got em upstairs just in time for Ellie to wake up!