my mom is just crazy sometimes. I don't mind generally but sometimes it gets to be too much. like her complaining about shaun and I cuddling while watching movies where matthew can see us. he's normally watching too and seems to have no issue with my leaning up against shaun etc. but anyway yeah I hate being put under. I don't know why but it always scares me. I didn't even like it when it came to the dentist and having my wisdom teeth pulled. Which is weird. you figure the idea of surgery itself would scare me so much more than the anesthesia but it does't. I also hate how I feel when I wake up from it. crazy thirsty but nauseous.

I wake up crazy emotional. Like, I can't handle waking up from it and I start crying and then I wonder how I got somewhere because I'm not where I was when I was put under when I wake up, which makes it even more traumatic. D: And then there's the woozy feeling all over my body. I think that's the worst. Because the woozy feeling then causes me to shake like I'm cold...it's...scary. Getting put under doesn't bother me nearly as much as waking up from it. xD

for me the worst part is my eyes. they never want to focus. so it just makes that not knowing where you are feeling so much worse. I don't really feel cold but definitely the woozy. and kind of numb. like I can still feel everything but it feels.. deafened somehow if that makes any sense at all. its like I have some sort of tingly bubbly insulation. Not sure how else to describe it.

No, I totally get it. xD I just really hate the feeling. I don't remember having a problem with my eyes though...other than I can't stop crying. lol.

I've never really cried that I can remember but I have been scared/panicked while waking up before. but then andrew was there and that calmed me down a lot. If I ever have to be put under again though, I definitely want shaun there. he always calms me down during anything. he's like magic.

----------

yay! shaun is on his way here :) and since he can stay in my room I think I'm going to subject him to a harry potter marathon since he bought me the blu ray set for christmas. then again maybe not. he will have to sleep. at least he doesn't have work till 2 tomorrow.

I only know from my wisdom teeth. Scott was supposed to be there, but he was still in the car with the kids because they hadn't called him to say they were done so he wasn't inside waiting. And I woke up scared and panicked, and then in tears from not knowing what happened or where I was or what was going on... it was horrible! Scott came in and I just clung to his arm. Poor kid. lol I'm so lucky he loves me.

what happens when they do transfers?

my doctor says he got all of the cysts on both ovaries so for now I don't think I'll have to remove them. Last time I had this surgery it took a year before I started having big issues again so at least a year. But still curious about how the transfer process goes.

It's a really simple process really. They do the transfer in a room right next to the embryologist room where the embryos are kept. You change into ugly socks and two hospital gowns (one in front one in back) and then you lay down on the bed in the room. Doctor comes in, inserts the... speculum? What ever it's called that keeps you "open" during paps. The embryos are put into a catheter and transferred through a small window between the two rooms. Doctor has the embryos and you have an ultrasound tech keeping tabs on your uterus so he knows where to place them. Catheter is inserted, relatively painless, and embryos are put in. The catheter is taken out, checked by the embryologist to make sure they aren't still there and then you lay down for 20 minutes. Followed by either 24 hours of bed rest or "minimal activity" It's the first 72 hours that need to be taken easy since that's when the emrbyos attach to the uterine wall. :3

that doesn't sound bad. I wonder if harvesting feels painful. for some reason I thought that transfers would feel painful too but that doesn't sound bad. I definitely want shaun there for that though. it just wouldn't fee right without him there. he made me feel better last night just by being here. he's at work now though :(

I think they put you out for harvesting. having never gone through it I don't know for sure.
Both transfers I've taken...Codine? Some random relaxant drug. I don't think it was necessary because it really didn't hurt and I didn't feel stressed at all. But the guys wanted it because the doctor mentioned that my being more relaxed may make my body more receptive to the embryos. So since it made them feel better I went with it. But I didn't like being on it...it made me really sleepy and loopy...and I sent really weird text messages to Scott. I imagine it's what being drunk is like.

Codine's supposed to be really strong. I think its just put me to sleep before when I took it. Right now I'm on Vicodin and I seem to be doing ok with it. not really loopy. Today does hurt more than yesterday though. Not sure why but i'm almost always like that. day two hurts more than day 1. I think on codeine I ended up telling steve I was a bubble ninja. and then sent him text after text that said weird things like "bloop bloop bloop bloop bloop plop squish" those sort of sound effect like texts over and over again for hours.

Oh mine were all drunken texts of love. xD I don't remember any of them anymore since I think I slept off most of the codine before the transfer this last time, but when it was for Owen it was pretty silly. Scott had like 15 messages of me confessing my love for him and how much I loved him and that we should be together for ever and ever and ever etc. Like I said, I imagine it's what being drunk is like. xD

They only gave me one tablet of it. So I can imagine that it's stupidly strong. And you need to have the prescription + address+ random other things of the person it's being prescribed for. It's a completely controlled substance. And for good reason I must say...because that stuff makes me silly!

Day two after a surgery always hurts me more too. I think it's because day one your body still has some of the anesthetic/whatever they put you to sleep with running through it. Day two your body has cleared it out and you're flying on your own.

yeah. definitely hurts more today. I think that worried shaun a lot. He ended up not leaving until he had to. I was worried he might not make it to work on time but he did and he promised he didn't speed much to make that happen.

codine is crazy enough I wonder what those other drugs must be like.

I wasn't with steve for the codeine texts. It was I think 6 months after he had cheated on me with amy and we'd just started talking again. I'm really glad I didn't send him lovey texts because that just would have hurt I think and would have made me feel pathetic. >.< when he told me I sent him weird stuff I went through my history to make sure I didn't send him lovey texts. That I sorta did to bryan but not really >.> I asked bryan if he liked me. but didn't profess my love for him or anything. thankfully. Steve just got bubble ninja texts. was kind of funny.

shaun got lovey texts but not really because of any meds I don't think. I think its because anything that falls in the category of traumatic makes me affectionate/clingy.

I think Scott enjoyed getting them. Out of everyone I could text/talk to I only wanted him. I love that man so much. :heart:

I hope you start feeling better soon. take the vikoden as pain permits.

I hope soon. last time I went through this it really didn't last that long and I'm really counting on that since school starts again on the 6th. I shouldn't be in any pain anymore but probably should still be taking it easy anyway. I was told 2 weeks of taking it easy.

How are you feeling today?

much better. still pain but Its definitely a lot better today than yesterday. I still take meds every now and then but I think maybe tomorrow I'll just be off of them completely.

I really like your outfit Cassie. Super cute. (:

yay for being off of meds...tomorrow. lol

So we're starting out the new year right, getting rid of holey clothes. (er Scotts pants have gotten pretty bad...so we got him new ones) Clearing out closets, clearing out bedrooms, our room is clean, the kids bathroom is clean, laundry is getting done the living/dining/kitchen are clean, Got some stuff to take out of the house, got the ornaments/christmas stuff to put into the garage...but it's coming together very nicely. Just need to get the kids to clean their rooms... haha.

And we need a few frames so we can finish putting up art-stuff around the house. But today it is looking so much better than yesterday! Also ordered a giant red fan, and a sword wall mount + red sword for our living room. They're going to go beside the mirror above the fire place and look lovely. I'm finally starting to get the Asian house I always wanted! lol. I need to get floor sitting pillows for in front of the TV. I wonder if I could make those.

I bet you could make some really nice floor pillows.

I have a sword and shaun has 3 but neither of us had any display for them. Whenever I go to the mall I end up at grommets and look at their display shelves for blades and I always really think about getting one. they have one that's 4 tiered so it would fit all the blades shaun and I have. But then I end up not getting it. I figured out that I'm just much more likely to spend $40 but when something's price marked as $50 or over I'll think about it at length and then end up not getting it most of the time. So yeah grommets wants $50 for their 4 tiered shelves. I was thinking maybe I could even make a wall mount for them but we'll see. for now shaun's swords are just kind of stacked. one on his dvd tower. two on his video game towers and then one he leaves on his and kyle's dresser. Mine I also have on top of a bookshelf.

frames.. I've been debating ripping the plastic rods off my scrolls and getting them framed. Or just taking them down all together. My room is really kiddie.. and the scrolls are part of it. I've had most of them since freshmen year lol.

I'm mostly off the pain meds for now. LIke rigt now I could take another dose but I haven't yet. I've been pretty good about resting. so not ugh pain for now. usually around dinner time when I'm up and doing stuff is when I have more issues.

and thank you for the outfit compliment by the way! I got chilly a few days ago. from you actually lol. and he just inspired the pink and blue. that and yeah shaun and I talking about making babies. I just figured why not? lol

Wait, you bought him from me? girl if I had known you wanted it I would have taken it out of the marketplace and just given it to you!

Amazon has some nice sword tiers for a decent price. The only I got was like $7 with $13 shipping. more than I would normally pay on shipping, but most of their tiers had 3+ sword spaces on it and I only wanted one. Of course now Scott is talking about wanting one with 3 or 4 spots to hold his wooden swords. :roll: Why can't he just tell me these things from the beginning? Whatev. lol.

I have a CardCaptor Sakura scroll that the kids ripped the plastic ends off that I need to frame...or just put up like a banner. I haven't decided yet. They don't seem to take care of anything in their rooms so I don't know if I want to give it to them just yet. I also have a really pretty CCS poster that I want to frame.

heehee. Making babies. I've been feeling this one twirl when I lay down sometimes. It's amusing. (:

lol. This is why I should get that quest thread all set up. I don't have an exchange thread either. The quest thread is because I'm just lazy and there's a lot of items I don't realize I want until I think that they might go nice with other things lol. The lack of an exchange thread is mostly because I end up just clicking on the marketplace now and then and saying "Ohhhh! that's cute!" and just buying it. lol.

I have this really pretty sakura scroll. And then another pretty chobits one. 2 InuYasha scrolls and then 7 more I don't have hanging >.< Elizabeth liked giving me scrolls lol. and then other people caught on so I have quite a few scrolls. I just don't like how they move even if I double sided tape them the tape comes off and they end up moving with the ceiling fan. So I think I will get around to framing. someday lol.

you can feel the baby already? It took me a long time before I could feel anything. But then maybe I was and just dismissing it as something else. I loved it once I could though. And I loved it more when Adrian was around. it's like she'd just gravitate to his warmth and would push up against/kick wherever he was. It was a game to him sometimes. He'd lay down on one side of me and wait for her to react and then switch sides on her. lol

It's not strong kicks by any means. They're gentle flutters. And only when I'm laying down. But as of today I'm 11 weeks along. I think it's earlier than I felt anything last time, but I know that it's what I'm feeling. last time I felt Owen at around... 13 or 14 weeks. I don't think I felt Sakura until around 22. :lol: I just didn't know what to look for! The twins I felt relatively early too. Probably around 12. But there were two in there, so I think that was expected.

You should start a quest thread! Give us another place to hang out at! lol

I have the thread all made with the posts all reserved but its not set up. I'm not even sure what items I want anymore since I've gotten so many already >.< I think star catcher will be next just because I think its pretty. :P or blood lotus cause yeah flowers are pretty too. lol. Maybe I'll make that my mission for tomorrow or later today. for now my mission is food. I'm hungry! and I have no idea what I want to eat.

I think I felt movement at 20 weeks but nothing before that. probably also because I didn't know what to look for. And when I first started feeling her it was only at night. same with my belly. during the day i looked like my normal self and at night I could so tell there was a baby in there. It was weird. But she was just awake and active at night in general.

Scott made this potato breakfast skillet thing for lunch. Yum! But I'm already hungry again. lol.

Bedrooms are cleaned and vacuumed. Now it's making the top bunks of their beds and getting rid of the futon mattresses in the livingroom/hallway of the livingroom. I guess there's a few more things to do. But for the most part the house is looking really good. And I'm really happy about it. (:

yay for a quest thread! I should get to updating mine and figure out what I'm actually questing for. I'm sure there are some items I want that I haven't aquired. But I need to go through rare item guides and the marketplace to figure out what exactly they are. >.>

woo...7 more tokens and I'll be able to pick up my 5th EI for the 3rd set. (: yay!

I don't play on mene the same way I do or did gaia rather. Like normally I'd be all for getting multiple sets and reselling later but here I don't. I just get my set for me and then I just get a bunch of commons. but since my inventory is so small the commons really help.

I haven't even bought every CI to be released. I could and I used to on gaia even for the items I didn't care for. but now its like, if I don't see myself ever using it, I don't bother. I'm still debating on this first ci. I don't really see myself ever using an armor set. but I do like the shoulder pieces.. so i might get it just for those. maybe. I might just wait and see what the next one is.

my family put the christmas decorations away :( the house looks so.. empty now...