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Moonlit Desires
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#1
Old 05-10-2007, 06:07 AM

  • Everything we have discovered in the world was brought on by the basic instinct of curiosity. Charles Darwin had always been a curious person, even as a child. With his interest in natural history his curiosity focused on the creatures and organisms around him. From his own back yard to the very distant islands of the Galapagos. Though his life didn’t completely center on the discovery of evolution, he also had an interesting family. In his family there had been a tradition, a doctor in each generation since his grandfathers’ time. Though Darwin’s brother continued with the tradition, Darwin was much more interested in natural history as his grandfather had been for a short moment in his life. Darwin’s discovery brought him a lot of stress over the fact that it was controversial, it went against creationism and this did not set to well with some of his own friends.


    If you read this, what do you believe my paper was going to be about.


    Does anyone know what a controlling idea is, is it a thesis statement?

seripha
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#2
Old 05-10-2007, 08:16 AM

I'm not sure if you're asking for what your controlling idea is or the difference between that and a thesis statement?

In terms of thesis statements, I'm having a little bit of a hard time understanding what yours might be. Is it mainly about Darwin's life? Like a biography? Or is it the reasons why he had stress and troubles presenting his idea? It's a little hard to tell what it is really about because you present so much random information in the paragraph.

If it's about Darwin's life outside of his theory of evolution, then you might want to change your last sentence. Typically, but not always, the last sentence of the paragraph is the thesis or the main lead in sentence to your essay (as I'm sure you know). It seems like you're setting up your main points of your essay to be 1) the controversial nature of his discovery 2) it going against creationism 3) it not going on well with his colleagues.

1 and 2 seem pretty much the same for me, because the real only debate was because of it going against creationism. 3 is a good one but you might want to mention something about Darwin's status in the scientific community / friends before his discovery to create a contrast.

Without seeing the rest of the essay I can't really say more about it because your intro may be a lot clearer with the following paragraphs. :)

 


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