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#1
Old 05-15-2007, 04:40 PM

Okay, this is a story that I started writing in my Accounting class, when I was bored, and just tired and stressed.

So this is my story.
Enjoy~
Feedback would also be appreciated.

Right also, the songs that will be used (look out for those) they aren't mine. I wish they were, but they aren't.

Also, I have finally finished the story, and the whole thing will be posted on page 3.

~CoOk!3~

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#2
Old 05-15-2007, 10:27 PM


It was a joyous day. Yet she didn’t feel like celebrating. She stood in the corner watching people bustle around her.
She was once just like them. Happy, carefree, but it changed.
The first change was brought on with a simple question. She merely asked her friend if he would go out with her. He declined and stated “the only way someone would go out with you is if you blackmailed them.” That hit her hard. After that their friendship dwindled down to almost nothing.
The second change was brought on by a harsh statement. She mistakenly offended a person. She never got the courage to apologize. For that she berated herself everyday. She was, in her mind, an obnoxious coward.
Those two events were the only explanation as to why she stood there. She felt as if the only purpose of her being there was to provide some kind of entertainment during the intermission.

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#3
Old 05-15-2007, 10:37 PM


So she stood and waited. Watching the people hurry around her, going out to the applause brought on by the spectators.
At last it was the intermission. She wasn’t going on first, to her disadvantage. She was going on after a comedic play, staring two of her “friends.” She could hear the crowd roaring with laughter as the play progressed.
Then all of a sudden, she heard the raunchy cheering, signifying the end of the play.
She realized it was time. Luckily her nerves hadn’t gotten the best of her. She waited for the audience to calm down, and for the MC to announce her name. When it happened, it took her by surprise.
Collecting herself, in the little time she had, she walked out slowly, in a somber manner. She made it seem to the audience like she was walking to her death. She got to the end of her stage, and spoke into the microphone.

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#4
Old 05-15-2007, 10:43 PM


“This song is ‘I Don’t Love You’ by My Chemical Romance.” She softly spoke.
Just then, the music started playing, and she felt it take over her mind, body, and soul. It took her away, and she felt as if she was the only one there.

“Well, when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
When after all this time that you still owe
You're still the good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"
Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
It's where you oughta stay
And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
Whoa, whooa
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you
Like I did
Yesterday"
Well come on, come on
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday"
I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday
I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday”

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#5
Old 05-15-2007, 10:45 PM


Near the end of the song, her voice started cracking, but she kept going. She couldn’t control it. The emotions associated with that song were raw. She couldn’t keep them from bubbling up over the surface of her stone like façade. She just kept thinking, that she had one more performance to give, and that she could leave the stage.
While she stood there thinking, the crowd cheered for her. It was when she came to her senses; she slowly raised her hand, telling the crowd to stop the applause.
Just like the time before, she spoke silently into the microphone.

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#6
Old 05-15-2007, 10:49 PM

“Thank You. The next song I will be performing is ‘In Between’ by Linkin Park”
“Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say
But trying to be genuine was harder than it seemed
But somehow I got caught up in between
Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say
But trying to be someone else was harder than it seemed
But somehow I got caught up in between
Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way
The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
Let me apologize to begin with
Let me apologize for what I'm about to say
But trying to regain your trust was harder than it seemed
But somehow I got caught up in between
Between my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way
The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
And I cannot explain to you
In anything I say or do or plan
Fear is not afraid of you
Guilt's a language you can understand
I cannot explain to you in anything I say or do
I hope the actions speak the words they can
For my pride and my promise
For my lies and how the truth gets in the way
The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
For my pride and my promise
Between my lies and how the truth gets in the way
The things I want to say to you get lost before they come
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none
The only thing that's worse than one is none”

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#7
Old 05-15-2007, 11:02 PM


The closing notes sent chills through peoples bodies. The song also heavely effected the people for whom it was meant for. They both sat there looking at her, processing what had just happened. Then, after a moments thought, they both stood up, and started walking towards her. Seeing the two boys walk towards her, she quickly thanked the audience and walked off the stage.
She got backstage, and hid in the stairwell well hidden. The two boys ended up backstage, but were stumped as to where she had disapeared off to. They then noticed each other.

“What are you doing back here?”- David
“I’m looking for her.” – Ben
“Why are you looking for her?” – David
“She sang that song for me.” – Ben
“Wait, which song?” – David
“The first song, ‘I Don’t Love You’ or whatever.” – Ben
“Oh okay.” – David
“Why do you care anyways? And why are you back here?” – Ben
“I’m here looking for her, and she sang the second song ‘In Between’ for me.” – David
“She sounded a little bit hurt to me.” – Ben
“Mabye” – David

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#8
Old 05-16-2007, 05:55 PM

"Buhi ... If you don't finish, I will have to hurt you and remember, I know where you go to school." ] =<

"On a good note: although your 'chapters' are short, for a randomly written story during accounting (the most boringest [yes it's a word] class in the world as I have heard) I believe you did well. Another good note: I like the way you put the part where her voice began to break, while yes, I am confused as to why she has two guys after her (I probably didn't read it fully) but meh; I know you can do better.

"So, with that inspiration, complete your story and I'll give you a cookie."

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#9
Old 05-16-2007, 06:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Karayna
"Buhi ... If you don't finish, I will have to hurt you and remember, I know where you go to school." ] =<

"On a good note: although your 'chapters' are short, for a randomly written story during accounting (the most boringest [yes it's a word] class in the world as I have heard) I believe you did well. Another good note: I like the way you put the part where her voice began to break, while yes, I am confused as to why she has two guys after her (I probably didn't read it fully) but meh; I know you can do better.

"So, with that inspiration, complete your story and I'll give you a cookie."
Thank you for the feedback. I still haven't finished typing up the story, so there is still a lot to go.
I appreciate what you said about my story, and as soon as it is updated, I will let you know first.

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#10
Old 05-16-2007, 06:04 PM

"You are welcomed. Now, write! Please? I'll let you read my stories." Whine

"And thanks for saying you'll let me know when you put in another entry. And I shall again comment when you do so."

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#11
Old 05-16-2007, 06:10 PM

"Where do you think she went?" - Ben
"I don't know, but I'll go look for her now. You stay here, and if I find her, then I'll come and get you, and you can talk with her when I'm done." -David
"Okay." - Ben
With that he just walked away looking for her. It didn't take long for him to find her. She was sitting in the empty stairwell. Her head was in her hands, and she was staring at the floor.
"Hey." - David

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#12
Old 05-16-2007, 06:21 PM

She looked up, and saw him staring back at her. She just looked back down. She didn't really want to speak with him right now.
"You sang that song really well." -David
She kept looking down, she just wanted him to leave. But he didn't, he sat down beside her.
"Leave me alone." She stated quietly.
"I want to talk to you about the songs you sang." - David
"Why, is it really important?"
"Yes it is. I know that 'In Between' was for me. But why? What happened? Why did you go and sing this song, in front of the school?" -David
"Because it's my way of saying 'I'm sorry.'"

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#13
Old 05-16-2007, 06:32 PM

That was pretty good I really liked it and I want you to finish it coz Its really really briilliant I have a real passsion for writing and writers themselves so i just say keep on ghhooingg! xx

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#14
Old 05-17-2007, 02:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by *precious..Star*
That was pretty good I really liked it and I want you to finish it coz Its really really briilliant I have a real passsion for writing and writers themselves so i just say keep on ghhooingg! xx
Thank you for the feedback, and I have actually finished the story, with an epilogue, except I haven't finished typing it. But when I have it all typed up, then I will post it ASAP.

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#15
Old 05-17-2007, 03:02 PM

He didn't know what to say. She was on the verge of tears. All he could do was stare.
"You sang that song as an apology to me?" -David
She just nodded. And by that time she couldn't control it. She just started crying. He quickly acted on it. He wrapped his arms around her, and let her cry on his shoulder. She pulled herself from his arms and wiped away her tears.
"Can you please just leave me. I just want to be by myself for now."

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#16
Old 05-17-2007, 03:21 PM

He didn't get up. He sat there stubbornly, arms crossed at his chest.
"I'm not leaving."
She just groaned and sat with her back against the wall. He moved so that he was closer to her. By that point she didn't care what happened next.
"Look, what if we just forgot about everything?"
She looked up at him. He looked at her with a predatorial stare. She felt so vulnerable. She felt as if he was going to jump her.
"Fine, but why are y- ..."

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#17
Old 05-17-2007, 03:24 PM

He had jumped her. She was shocked, but he had her trapped. He pressed her up against the wall, his lips on hers. As quick as his lips were on hers, they wer off. She looked at him shocked by his actions.
All in the while he kept looking at her lips. They taseted sweet, it was addictive.
She knew she shouldn't have, but his name just rolled off her tounge. It wasn't said as a warning. On the contrary, it sounded as if she was begging for more.

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#18
Old 05-17-2007, 03:26 PM

He happily obliged. He pressed his lips against hers once more. He teased her, and she couldn't find hte voice to object.
So he continued, his actions growing bolder. Soon his lips were no longer on her lips. They were slowly making a trail down her neck.
She was having trouble accepting the fact that he was kissing her. But then it just stopped.

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#19
Old 05-17-2007, 03:59 PM

"No, it did not just stop. It continued: keep typing! I figure you're being very cruel and un-just in your tormentation (in my mind, it's a word) of me.

"Onto comments: The plot thickens! With the make out session between the girl and David beginning, what is Ben doing? Is he secretly watching in? Fuming and growing ever angrier as David continues his bold moves? Or is he still sitting there; quietly waiting for his turn?

"Answer my questions and I will give you lots of cookies. I enjoy the way you're writing flows, it isn't too quick or slow. Of course, your updates could always be longer, but that's me just speaking out loud."

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#20
Old 05-17-2007, 04:42 PM

She couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes, because she didn’t trust herself.
"Open yor eyes love. I want to see your eyes. I want you to see what I've done to you." -David
She didn't know why she listened, and then acted, but she did. She opened here eyes and stared at him. She knew that he could tell how she felt. Her eyes were pools of lust and passion.
He just smirked.
"Naugh- ..."

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#21
Old 05-17-2007, 04:45 PM

"Get off her now!"-Ben
Ben stood at the door looking mad. Quietly she whispered no. But David got up and left.
She was mad! He had the nerves to come in and 'Protect' her.
"Are you okay?" -Ben
She just sat there quietly, she wouldn't answer. Her mind was telling her to say 'no', her body told her to say 'yes.'
"He didn't hurt you did he?" -Ben
"Why do you care?" She spat spitefully.
He looked shocked. She looked at him and realised he truly was trying to protect her.
"Look man, I'm sorry. But he wasn't urting me."
"I know, I saw you two making out." -Ben

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#22
Old 05-17-2007, 04:47 PM

Guilt washed over her. She had been caught. She wanted to say somethig, but she couldn't.
"Look I can leave and call David back." -Ben
"No, it's okay. Stay with me. You wanted to talk with me though right?"
He just nodded. He looked at her. Her hair was messy, her lips were red and swollen. She looked so delicious.

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#23
Old 05-17-2007, 04:49 PM

"Yeah, wanted to talk about the song." -Ben
"Oh. Yeah. It's not that I don't love you. It's just htat you hurt me."
He nodded. He figured that he was causing a lot of problems in her life. He wanted to get up and leave, but she didn't let him.
"Stay with me please."
He just sat back down. He didn't want to ask but it came out.
"Why were you making out with David? I thought you two didn't even like each other."

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#24
Old 05-17-2007, 05:14 PM

"Are you jealous? Do you want to make out with him too?"
Ben just made a face. She laughed at him.
"You know I'm just joking right." He nodded.
"So how was he anyways. I'm just wondering, you don't have to tell me." -Ben
"He was ...I don't know. So passionate. It was really random. He like jumped me. But, like, it was just ... wow."
He laughed at her. She randomly made out with a guy, and was stuttering. She was too cute. He didn't understand why it took him so long to notice though.
"So you're saying you enjoyed it." She nodded "So you like rough sex?!?" She gapped at him."I cant be as rough as him, but then there is nothing wrong with change."

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#25
Old 05-17-2007, 05:15 PM

With that he closed the gap between them. His lips touched hers softly. He definitely took things slower. Each move was slow and calculated. She could tell he wanted to make it worth her while. He slowly grew more confident with his actions. His hands found the edge of her shirt, and slowly creeped up.
But before he could do anything further, the door slammed open.

 


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