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roocee
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10-23-2007, 11:56 PM
Very admirable to be raising a 15 year old daughter as a single father.
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PapaSneb Mark
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10-24-2007, 12:23 AM
Thank you very much, roocee. I get the feeling you know something about single parenthood.
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roocee
(。・ω・&...
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10-24-2007, 02:30 AM
Well not really. I have no children but I work for family law attorneys and we have a few clients that have actually received full custody and be the father. I just think it's a great thing as it's hard for either parent to be single and raising a teen but for a father to raise a daughter has to be tough and I admire that. Seriously, most men just don't care these days. Only a select few.
We have a case right now where the mother told the father that she lost the baby. Then went and made arrangements for an adoption. The father found about about it in the paper and has been fighting for almost 2 years now to keep his parental rights from being terminated. It's so sad.
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Allucard
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10-24-2007, 02:56 AM
I'm not a parent, and this is probably unrelated to much of anything anyone's saying, but I have a story to tell and a view to express and I hope it's not considered spam.
Story: I once took a psychology class with a woman who had a child. Her child was in about fifth grade. This child was learning about the bill of rights in class, and discovered that United States citizens have freedom of speech, freedom of religion, the press, that kind of stuff. So the kid writes a letter to the teacher which was apparently rather rude.
She of course was very upset with her child and disciplined.... him? I think it was a boy.
Here's my question: Why?
Isn't that kind of... exactly what the kid was learning about? You don't have to say what other people want you to say? You can express any opinion you have, even if it's unpopular? People can't take action against you solely because they don't like what you said or did?
As long as the kid didn't threaten the teacher, or say something that would wreak havoc on this poor defenseless teachers fragile psyche, and the childs commentary was honest, who cares?
As a parent, wouldn't you WANT your child to assert his or her rights? To say what he or she thinks, even if it is unpopular? Isn't that a huge part of growing up? Learning to make your own decisions rather than going along with what's "polite" or "acceptable?"
And this was a personal letter, so it's not like the kid took class time to mock the teacher and disrupt class. This was a personal expression of dislike, and the kid was taught that you're not allowed to do that in this society.
The kid was taught that he has the freedom to say whatever he wants. Unless someone tells him not to.
WTF parents of Menewsha? WTF?
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roocee
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10-24-2007, 03:29 AM
Touchy subject for sure but I think I would want my children to be able to express themselves and what they believe in. I think that teacher was wrong.
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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10-24-2007, 12:41 PM
Papasneb- Raising a daughter on your own must be hard. </3 Sadly, I know of no support groups for single fathers. I am sure there are some though. But as I am a married woman, I never looked into them. ^^;: Though being a military wife I do know the struggles of single parenting. I googled it but nothing that looked too relevant came up. sorry ^^;;
Allucard- I woul dwant my child to know when it is right to speak their mind. If the letter to the teacher was something along the lines of I hate you you are the worst teacher ever I hope you suffocate on the chalk dust while you clap your erasers, then yes, I would discipline the child because remarks like that should be kept private, and by private I mean to yourself. If you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. But at the same time if the letter was I don't like your teaching methods I think it would be better if you attempted it this way, and please stop picking on some of the more out casted members in the class then I would stand by what my child had written. Really it all depends on what the letter said, since all you said was it was rather rude, it probably should have not gotten to the teacher and then nothing would have happened. There is a time and a place for telling your teachers that they are idiots, and the fifth grade is not one of them. I do not want my children to think that expressing their ideas is wrong, but if it is something that they know they should not be saying for decency purposes, then they should keep it to themselves, tell a parent, or keep it in their group of friends. Giving the letter to te teacher was a very bad idea. We do have freedom of speech but if I write a letter to the president and tell him I want him dead, you can bet it would be taken as a threat and I would get disciplined for it as well.
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roocee
(。・ω・&...
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10-25-2007, 02:16 PM
Good morning everyone!!!
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fawN
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10-25-2007, 10:10 PM
This thread changed titles! No wonder I couldn't find it!
I like your reply Melody about the freedom of speech versus decency. I was going to say something similar, that although we should be free to express our opinions, I find it important to be able to express them tactfully and not use words that create defensiveness and misunderstanding. My communications class covered a lot of ways people word things which more often than not cause undue arguments. Being on online communities is a good way to learn tactfulness because it's easy to see a disrespectful or rude comment or post!
My brother-in-law is a single father of a 5 year old son. His mother left when he was a baby, she rarely sees him, and she pays child support. You don't often hear of it that way, but it does happen! And my heart goes out to the father fighting for rights to his child who was put up for adoption!
I have some frustrations I want to vent about and maybe get some advice on:
My 6 year old Jade has some really frustrating habits, including telling ME to do something (like turn on the tv, get her water, change the channel) just because she doesn't feel like doing it! It makes me so mad! She'll say she can't because she's too cold, or she's busy reading, or eating, or whatever, and I say if it's something she wants done for HER, then SHE needs to do it herself and stop making other people do it just because she doesn't want to! But it hasn't sunk in, and we still get into these battles over stuff like that.
Another thing is how at EVERY commercial on Nickelodeon, she chimes out "I WANT THAT!" and gets mad if I don't turn to look, even if it's something I've SEEN she's wanted for the last 5 times it's been on commercial, and I KNOW she wants that. I've tried telling her she can only tell me she wants that if it's something she hasn't said that to before, but she'll still sometimes repeat herself (maybe she doesn't remember what she's said that for, and maybe there are just 100 new things in commercials every day.) But seriously, we can't get her EVERYTHING she wants, and we've told her this, and her saying "I WANT THAT!" to EVERYTHING makes it seem like there's nothing she wants badly enough to want to save up for above anything else (I've suggested that idea to her too, to pick 1 or 2 favorite things and that's it, but then she can't even remember most of the stuff she wants when I ask her to list them!) We've already bought her Christmas gifts, and I've told her this, that her saying she wants that is not going to do any good (and it just frustrates me the amount she does it already!)
I was going to talk about her picky eating habits and how I hate feeding her and have always hated feeding her, even since she was a baby (nearly all our biggest arguments since infancy have been about food!) but the baby just woke up, so I gotta post and go!
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Sisely
ʘ‿ʘ
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10-26-2007, 12:42 AM
I'm not a parent yet (unless you count pets, in which case I have 3) but I hope to be next year. My husband and I are currently dealing with infertility issues, and not having health insurance to cover it.
Before we moved, I did get to go to my first GYN appoint (finally at age 22) and I was put on birth control to help get regulated (period only shows up every 4 months). But after the supply ran out and it was suppose to be fixed, it wasn't.
After that my hubby and I moved to South Carolina so he could have a better job, meaning we lost our health insurance. But now he is hired on full time, so we'll be getting benefits starting in November, so I'll be going back.
I'm more than likely going to get put on Clomid to help with the fertility. That leaves me at a higher chance of multiples, but I'm in need of no help in that department, my dad was a twin!
In any case my husband and I are looking forward to parent-hood in the near future. :3
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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10-26-2007, 01:20 AM
Well I went to the doctor yesterday and the results are bitter sweet. Cramps are a sign of pre-term labor but there is nothing the doctor can do at this stage in the pregnancy because the drugs in the shot are more then just a potential danger to a baby this young. So there is nothing I can do to stop the cramping and if I lose the baby well I lose the baby so says the doctor. One thing they suggested is increasing the amount of water I drink said it may or may not reduce the intensity of the cramping.
The good news is that I am ok (I already knew that) but as far as blood pressure and such and the baby is ok as well.. The doctor said whatever is causing the cramps is not effecting the baby any. So I go back on the 5th of Nov for another check up Hopefully drinking water will get rid of the cramps... Oh yes and more good news... I am back above my original weight again. 3 lbs above my weight which is good cause I was near 5 under last they check!
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Chi
Dancing to her own beat..
Penpal
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10-26-2007, 01:45 AM
So right now the baby is unaffected? Thank God.
Keep your water intake up, and try and make sure you get your Prenatals in. I know you haven't felt up to par. I'm grateful your weight is back up too. I'll be keeping you and the baby in my thoughts. I'll hope for the best..
My nephew took a tumble at my wedding rehearsal and ended up in the hospital. He's okay, the doctors say. Needless to say it's been a shitty night and I really hope it's not a sign for tomorrow.
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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10-26-2007, 02:44 PM
Chi- I tripped as the ring bearer in my aunts wedding and almost dropped the rings. Luckily they were tied to the pillow! XD But they are still happily married...17 years later? So I wouldn't worry too much. Everything will turn out beautifully. Kids trip, it's what they do XD
Jaz- *sigh of relief* At least you are both ok. I'm sure everything will turn out ok. Lessen your stress and that should help as well as drinking more water. I think milk also helps with cramps, But I don't remember XP
Sisely- You live semi-close to me XD I live in North Carolina. I have twins, and they were easier to care for as babies then my singleton that I had first! Now that they are toddlers it's a bit harder, but eh. I hope you are able to solve the infertility issues soon. I think anyone that wants to have a baby and is ready for one should be able to have one. Good Luck!
fawN- I know how easy it is to read things wrong on online communities. Someone called me dear once and I took it the wrong way with the rest of their response just because of how everything was worded and the tone I gave it in my mind. Luckily everything was straightened out! As for the "I want that" stuff, just ignore it. Sakura does that whenever we are in a store, and I know we can't afford to get it for her, so we just ignore it and tell her to wait and see what she gets for Christmas, or any other random holiday coming up! Tell her that she may get it as her Christmas present and she just has to wait and see! Then she will at least think she is getting it, and if she doesn't you can take comfort in knowing that she probably doesn't remember what it was she wanted anyway! lol
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fawN
*^_^*
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10-26-2007, 05:07 PM
Thanks Mel, I think it wouldn't bother me so much if it weren't all the time at almost every commercial, and I especially would just tune it out if she didn't insist I turn to look and see what it was that's on the commercial because sometimes (like now) I'm in the middle of a post and don't want to lose my train of thought!
Jazz, I'm glad things are ok for now, but the potential for preterm labor is scary too, especially so early! Amber was only 5 weeks early, but it was a huge ordeal having her in the NICU for a month and me being out of town that whole time and not seeing my husband and other daughter for half of each week. I think the earliest chance of survival with preterm delivery is like 24 weeks, and that's still a ways to go! I did have horribly intense braxton-hicks my entire pregnancy since about 2 or 3 months in, and they just got worse as time went on. I had them regularly, sometimes every 5-10 minutes, every day, and this was normal for me. Hopefully everything works out ok for you and baby! My mother-in-law even bled heavily the entire 9 months when she was pregnant with my husband, and they told her she'd probably lose him, but she never did. *sends good thoughts and helping energy your way!*
Speaking of single dads with a teenage daughter, it struck me in how many popular Disney movies the main female character just has a dad and not a mom! Like Belle, Ariel, Jasmine, and kind of Mulan, although she HAS a mom, it's her relationship with her dad that's important. I think dads and daughters have a unique and important relationship!
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roocee
(。・ω・&...
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10-27-2007, 01:23 AM
Jaz you are still in my thoughts that things stay ok.
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Nephila
The Serpent Bride
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆ Penpal
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10-27-2007, 02:33 PM
Hi guys!
I heard about this place threw melody xyelle's Signature. I think it's a great idea to have a thread like this. I had no idea that there were so many parent's that play. I m very excited about posting and getting to know you guys better. My little sister also has a child and I'll tell her about this thread.
Any way, Since this is a bit of an introductory post I'll tell you a bit about myself. I m a married twenty-six year old mother of one. Her name is Lilith-Marie. She just turned seven last September 12th and was a new millennium baby in the Chinese Zodiac making here a "Metal Dragon" She's a Virgo according to the regular zodiac. She is in 2nd grade and reading at a 5th grade level, and regularly picks chapter books over picture books her friend choose.
As a baby she was very good and healthy. People would tell me how I lucked out on her to be so young and to have a baby that would sleep threw the night. Although some of them said it like I would go out and party but I was never really that sort. She would only wake up for her regular feedings and never fussed about them. She was really good about going back to sleep afterwards.
As she's growing so fast, I find myself wanting to have another child but my husband doesn't want to. He told me he would rather have a dog. :roll: I can sort of understand why because we are already in debt and are still trying to get enough to move out of my moms basement.
I m currently looking for information about going back to school, but it's expensive and I would rather see her use that money for her schooling which I KNOW will be coming up sooner than expected.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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10-27-2007, 05:02 PM
Thanks for all your well wishes guys I am still having some cramping but they are lessening. I think there is a big chance that I wasn't eating right (when Melody mentioned that milk might help reduce cramping I realized it had probably been two or three weeks since I drank a glass of milk... Most of my bad eating habits are coming from a STRONG dislike of the food at work so I am rushing out for food on my break to satisfy my hunger... And I refuse to drink the milk there now because of the 3 or 4 times I have either gotten spoiled milk or milk that has curdles but didn't smell bad or taste bad... I'll check for the kids but I just can't bring myself to drink it!) I think stress is a cause too and I am under a lot of it right now... Hopefully by the end of next month it will lessen though I have lots of appointments next month some of them are rather scary (court is the scariest and will stress me out beyond all of the other appointment) plus money is tight and with every appointment I lose money cause I have to leave work... Oh well some of the appointments will hopefully lessen my financial stress for a while as I am finally applying for aid...
@ Chi hope you wedding was BEAUTIFUL and exactly what you had always dreamed!
@ Nephila welcome to the thread... I hope you look into going back to school it will help you in the long run... Look into grants you are more then likely qualified for dozens of them and also look into scholarships... If for nothing else for you daughter cause she is so advanced she may be asking for help with homework soon that you can't help her with... My sister started reading at age 3 and she is now 15 she started reading collage text books around the time that she was in 5th or 6th grade and started asking my mom questions about them. But my mom couldn't answer them it was really frustrating for both of them and REALLY discouraging for my sister! Who is now seeming to be struggling though school!
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roocee
(。・ω・&...
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10-27-2007, 05:08 PM
That's all very encouraging Jaz. I will continue to keep you in my thoughts.
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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10-27-2007, 07:19 PM
I hope your cramps go away soon. This is going to be a short post as the twins just woke from their nap and I have to make them lunch, but I wanted to drop by and say hello to everyone Nephila in perticular since she is new to our pretty thread. XD <3
My daughter is going to be 3 soon, and I'm still trying to get her to sing her alphabet right! XD she likes numbers a lot more than letters though. Perhaps I should be teaching her about them more? I just want her to know the basics of things before I start teaching her more in depth of other things. *sigh*
fawN- It will be ok. Glance over at it, or tell her you know what it is because of the songs on the commercial (or whatever XP) But yeah, sometimes it is just really annoying to have someone constantly wanting you to look at what they are doing or help with something that you know they can do on their own. (my daughter and pulling up her panties. for some reason this is really hard on her!
oh! potty training update: My daughter really took to te idea of picking out her own panties (she choose cars breifs XD) but when she is wearing them she goes on the potty like she should! <33 Now we just have to get her to put them back on after she goes on the potty. For some reason, she has to be naked to sit on the potty. :/
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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10-28-2007, 03:10 AM
congratulations! I am glad undies are working for her!!!
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roocee
(。・ω・&...
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10-28-2007, 01:48 PM
Yes that's great news.
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Jaz
Death warmed over
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10-28-2007, 02:45 PM
It's final Michael is back in diapers at bed time the accidents he was having were causing me around $50 extra worth of laundry a month (has to go to the laundry mat T_T) The bad part is I was trying to get him to not like wearing the diapers (cause he use to do really well with bedtime and nap time) but he actually seems excited about wearing the pull ups >.<
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roocee
(。・ω・&...
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10-28-2007, 03:21 PM
That seems to be common. My niece did that. She was completely trained then all of a sudden, she was back to bed wetting again. My sister got so frustrated with her. She was into kindergarten before she finally stopped.
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Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)...
☆ Penpal
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10-28-2007, 04:22 PM
I guess I have ti to look forward to then >.< I'm still putting her in pull ups for nap/bed time just because cleaning her bed sheets all the time because she pees in them is no fun for me. And then there is cleaning the mattress luckily it's covered in a material thing that doesn't let water in XP
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roocee
(。・ω・&...
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10-28-2007, 05:33 PM
Most infant/toddler beds are protected that way. Certainly makes them noisy when they roll over though.
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Zarq
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10-28-2007, 06:11 PM
Oh hello fellow parents!! What a wonderful find ^_^
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