Thread Tools

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6026
Old 03-05-2011, 06:44 PM

That is a big part of the problem... She may have had warning... But what could she really do... She was isolated... COMPLETELY! :/

I wish more women would grow the nerve to leave abusers :( it is sad that so many lives have to be lost to it... Particularly the lives of the innocent who have NO choice in the matter!

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6027
Old 03-05-2011, 10:51 PM

She didn't have to move, and she could have found a womans shelter if she really wanted to escape from him. Reached out to her family because she was fearing for her life or her sons. Even if she was isolated...there was still stuff she could do. Whether she knew about those options is another question...just...damn. It sucks.

Clair Voyant
}-(((*>
726.49
Clair Voyant is offline
 
#6028
Old 03-06-2011, 02:18 PM

The thing is a lot of women get it into their heads that they've done something to get abused. And some are truly convinced that they love (or may actually love) their abuser... :(

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6029
Old 03-06-2011, 02:29 PM

I know. >.< But I still don't understand how it happens. >.< I had pretty low self esteem when I was younger. But I would never have allowed someone to hit me and make me feel even shittier. I would have left that real fast and possibly called the cops on them.

Women need more strength. Seriously. Not physical (though that might not hurt) but mental.

Clair Voyant
}-(((*>
726.49
Clair Voyant is offline
 
#6030
Old 03-06-2011, 02:30 PM

Just depends on the person. :( Not everyone can be Mellie. :heart:

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6031
Old 03-06-2011, 02:33 PM

This is true. But I wish more women found the power to escape before dying or losing a child to senseless violence. :3

Clair Voyant
}-(((*>
726.49
Clair Voyant is offline
 
#6032
Old 03-06-2011, 02:53 PM

Yeah, I think we all hope that women would be able to do that. :(

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6033
Old 03-06-2011, 04:45 PM

Clair's right.... About loving abusers... Mikes dad never hit me but I feared for it a lot... He did some other bad things that constituted the fear... But he was definitely mentally abusive he made me feel like I could never find anyone better then him. And even when we did break up the several times we did... Other men's reactions to me confirmed his mental tortures... I asked out 2 guys other then Dillon... Both turned me down.... I only dated one other guy during the time... And he made me feel worse then Mikes dad did.... Saying things like "You don't matter to me... When my mom dies I am killing myself..." So a lot of me felt I just couldn't do better... So I went back to Mikes dad every time :/ It took my mom's strength and her beating it into me that I was better then what he was offering me... And of course she had her own bad experiences to draw from... Mikes dad told me he had a house in Kansas that he had bought... (he has still NEVER owned a house) and that he had insurance for me.... He still has no insurance... I am glad I was smart about it... I didn't want to be away from my family having a newborn when I was 18 and I never gave my social out freely... Dillon only started getting my social when we got married lol...

I started dating nicer guys after Mikes was born. James the first guy I dated was super sweet... But our age difference and my insecurity being a new mom broke us... He was 10+ years my senior and we differed a lot in beliefs... He was also embarrassed by my age :/ he would lie to people and tell them I was 20 when I wasn't even 19 yet.....

The second guy I dated I fell back into that..... Old cycle I suppose... A guy who appeared to be sweet and kind and when I started dating him I found him to be more..... Darksided... My relationship with him lasted 6-8 months with a month or two break between... He was no where near as bad as Mikes dad... But he wasn't good for Mikes or I either...

Then there was Dillon.... And he is perfect... He has his faults but he is the perfect guy <3


I wish more women have that support from their family that will beat the common sense into them... Sometimes that is what it takes.... And sometimes the fear is easier to handle when there is family.... A strength in numbers thing....

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6034
Old 03-06-2011, 05:30 PM

That's true. Having people to turn to that support you is probably what these women are missing. And what the abuser wants even. Thus moving them out of state and away from everyone they do know. >.< (lolz, Scott sooo did that. xD)

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6035
Old 03-06-2011, 05:48 PM

Yeah but A.) he didn't really do it "willingly..." or "hurtfully" and B.) he did it to support you and the wee ones ^__^ TOTAL different situation ^_^

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6036
Old 03-06-2011, 06:06 PM

I would joke about Scott being abusive in the past. (I have scars from him on my knees and elbows, and he's accidentally given me bruises while sleeping before. xD) The scars were from a biking accident we had though, he swirved to avoid a car, and I didn't have enough time to react and swirve as well, so I ran into him and fell off, and got totally bloodied up from that. My mom was pissed because he had to run off right after to make it home in time for piano lessons and she had to help me clean up. Not sure how the bruises happen, they could actually be from the kids jumping on me...but I blame him anyway. :P But I bruise really easily. (Like from spanking the kids, I've brusied my fingers and they just laugh at me... ;-; ) So moving across the country just added to the inside joke. ^^;;

But I've never been told not to talk to people from my past, and he's totally all for me being social. I just...I'm scared of new people sometimes and keep to myself because of that. xD And, I don't really mind having him and just him at times. Sometimes I just want someone to talk to that understands me and the way I think, and he's perfect for that. Other people, they just don't get me!

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6037
Old 03-06-2011, 06:22 PM

I am scared of new people too... Dillon had a bunch of work friends and some of the family of his best friend over last night and I just didn't know what to say to them so I kind of slunk (lol) back and and hung out with my best friend and sister (they were the two I knew the best at the party last night until our mutual friend Jessi showed up) Then started snipping at Dillon when he was talking about things that only a few people could talk about >_<;;; I feel bad but I am just like that....

When I took Michael to the birthday party a couple of weeks ago... I was really reserved.... Micah's mom and another mom actually started talking TO me before I started talking ><;;; I feel really out of place with other moms especially at Mikes new school most of the mom's there live in Pueblo West which is like upper class Pueblo... They drive their kids in 20+ minutes to go to school at Mikes school.... So I always feel like my 15k income and Bessimer (bad part of town though we are RIGHT on the edge of Bessimer) house just will never compare... They are also moms who had their kids later in life so I kind of think they look down on me :/ which makes me feel even more insecure talking with them ><;;; Micah's mom is nice... But I just can't talk about the things they can.... The things they were talking about at the party were their plans for their own kids parties. They were discussing the YMCA pool and all these more expensive reservation required party places or renting a bounce house (like what was at the party we were at) I was debating on having Mikes party at the public pool :/ but I am not sure I can really afford that even.... It's not that I don't plan fun kid parties. Especially Mikes cause he is a summer baby.... Mini pools and water guns and sprinklers are USUALLY involved (we'll see how it works this year since we will be growing new baby grass at the time)..... IDK... I always feel like the odd man out meeting people.... I am so..... ODD

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6038
Old 03-06-2011, 06:31 PM

Yeah, I have the same issues. xD Though a lot of the moms here are around the same age as me...at least for the head start. When it comes to the kindergarten, most of hte moms are in their 30's and I'm like....woah there...you're 30 with a 5 year old? xD Not that there is anything wrong with that...it's my response when they look at me with their "you're 24 with a 5 year old" stares. xD
A lot of the parties Kura has gone to have been at dance studios and such...and I'm like... party at my place! woo!! and people are like... nooo. haha. I try not to let it bother me though. We all come from different back grounds and work with what we have and do our best to make the best out of it. They don't know me, or my background and they won't unless they get to know me. Your income is none of their business. Sure, you've had a harder time than them probably, but look at you, and look at your kids! You're making it hun, and doing the best you can. And ya know what, your kiddos are happy (minus being sick) and even if you just have some of their friends over for a party at your house, with a hand made cake and super soakers, the kids that come will have a good time. You don't need to spend a lot to have an awesome party. What matters is the kids getting a long and eating cake. I know that's all I cared about when I was little. CAKE!!

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6039
Old 03-06-2011, 06:41 PM

Mellie.... >.> I'll be thirty when my next baby is 5 lol.... >_< actually I will be 31... Or close to it... O_O rofl


Cake AND ICE CREAM! Ice cream is important too!

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6040
Old 03-06-2011, 07:15 PM

Kura is a winter baby, if I served ice cream people would be all wtf? xD The twins haven't had a party yet, this is the first year they've gone out and made friends!

Yeah, but you won't give those 23/24 year old moms "the look" for being 23/24. ;D

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6041
Old 03-06-2011, 09:24 PM

No no I won't though the 13 year old mom's I just might though lol.... <.< not that that is a joking matter there are simply TOO many of them in this town :/

I'm born at the beginning of January DANG SKIPPY THERE BETTER BE ICE CREAM!!!!! If not Ice cream cake ^___^

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6042
Old 03-07-2011, 02:02 PM

I don't do ice cream in the winter. xD It makes me colder just looking at it! D:

Are there 13 year old moms with 5 year olds in kindergarten? That's waaaaay too soon to start having sex! Their bodies haven't even developed at 8! D: Please tell me I don't need to worry about my daughter having sex in... 2 years. D: D: D: TOO SOON!! She still believes in rainbow unicorns and dragons!

Clair Voyant
}-(((*>
726.49
Clair Voyant is offline
 
#6043
Old 03-07-2011, 02:50 PM

Melody, I saw the cute little bento boxes you posted on Facebook. SO CUTE! They look like the perfect lunches.

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6044
Old 03-07-2011, 03:01 PM

Not 13 year old mom's of 5 year olds... 13 year old new mom's....... A family friend of ours is a middle school teacher. She has been seeing a significant increase in pregnancy particularly in the 13 year olds she sees.... She is also the English as a second language teacher she says the number of Hispanic pregnancies at that age is 90% higher then any other race here..... She says it is a cultural issue. Many Hispanic mom's (from what SHE says not my words cause I just couldn't fathom insisting my daughter have a child so young) don't discourage young pregnancy and some even encourage it :( I struggled so much when I had Mike. I was 18. LEGALLY an adult... I had graduated high school granted only a month or two before he was born but it was done! I couldn't imagine trying to support a child when I couldn't legally even hold a job... I mean I know in most cases they don't it is usually family that do... :/ I just don't know how someone could be so.... careless at that age.... I was still making fun of boys when I was 13. I wasn't thinking about sex I was thinking about all the dreams and plans I had for myself.... HELL I wrote out a HUGE life plan for myself at that age... Kids were in the plan... When I was 25 after I finish college and was living in Hawaii ROFL....

Aren't her bentos adorable <3 Mellie is soo creative <3 Mellie can be my mom ^___^

Clair Voyant
}-(((*>
726.49
Clair Voyant is offline
 
#6045
Old 03-07-2011, 03:30 PM

Agree with Jaz! Mellie, will you be my mother? :3 And make me bento lunches?

Melody
(づ ̄ ³ ̄) ...

Penpal
11795.67
Send a message via AIM to Melody Send a message via MSN to Melody
Melody is offline
 
#6046
Old 03-07-2011, 07:10 PM

xD My friend Gabbi asked me the same thing this morning. >.> Scott wants me to make him a mermaid in his bento for today. :lol: But he wants nipples on his mermaid (I used just the bottom end to make Kuras so she wouldn't have "nipples" xD)

7 years is still too early to be worrying about my daughter getting pregnant. ;-; (er in 7 years) I shouldn't have to worry about it until she's like... 17! lol.

I can see why some mothers would encourage it...food stamps. One friend on facebook mentioned the people in front of her in line at the grocery store buying lobster tails with their food stamps. Add another mouth to feed and you get more money. A couple of my friends before they joined the coast guard got food stamps, they got like $500/month for it. And generally a family of 3 will only spend 3-400 sooo they had extras at the end of the month to spend on beef tenderloin and lobster etc. It's just not right. I would never encourage it. It's like telling your kids to milk the system from the time they're little and never taking responsibility for their lives.

Clair Voyant
}-(((*>
726.49
Clair Voyant is offline
 
#6047
Old 03-07-2011, 07:26 PM

Omgosh! Sakura is already 7 years old!?

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6048
Old 03-07-2011, 07:31 PM

That is true... But Dillon and I get food stamps. We'd have NO food at all on his salary if we didn't.... We have a family of 4 and get about $480... But we also use all of that plus some.... But I also buy a lot of fresh produce and extra Milk cheese and eggs that we don't get WIC anymore :/ and yeah... During holidays and on birthdays I will use the money to give the boys candy in their stockings and easter baskets... But only on holidays. I also spend $11 every 4-6 months on soda... Because I buy the 3 for $11 soda and it lasts us 3-6 months... :/ and that isn't always it just depends on what is going on in the next 3 months lol... For example the soda people drank at Dillon's party was bought in January... (It helps that we have charitable donations of soda from others but we still don't drink it that often.) The only fish we EVER have is canned tuna... And the closest to steak or prime rib we come to is pre-diced stew beef and pork... Because touching meat makes me queasy >.>;; I think it is so wrong... I see it a lot though... My adopted brother married a Hispanic girl who was 15 when they got married... Now her mom gets food stamps for him too!

Kura just turn 6 in January Clair lol.... She was saying in 7 years Kura will be 13....

And I WANT A MERMAID BENTO!!!!

Clair Voyant
}-(((*>
726.49
Clair Voyant is offline
 
#6049
Old 03-07-2011, 07:35 PM

OH! My bad. :sweat: I was gonna say we seemed to miss a year. xD

Her birthday is 6 days before mine. :)

Jaz
Death warmed over
2991.42
Jaz is offline
 
#6050
Old 03-07-2011, 07:38 PM

Nope you didn't she's 6 lol

 


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 4 (0 members and 4 guests)
 

 
Forum Jump

no new posts